[A/N: I'm sorry if it might be confusing sometimes but Kikwang was skipping in past and present in the last chapters ~__~; Anyways, here's the next chapter and dsjkiafhiaushjdio I always have scenes in mind but can't write them down properly lol .___.; hmpf]

I had been there for him; I visited him every single day.  I brought him flowers, I talked to him, I held his hand and prayed for him to wake up. I slept in the chair next to his bed he was lying in and sometimes I wouldn’t leave to go back home for days.

“Yah, Kikwang.”, I hear a familiar voice bringing me back to reality and I stop thinking about back then. Blinking I look straight into the eyes of my friend Hyunseung. “Are you over-thinking again?”, he asks me and smiles at me. I can clearly see the pity in his eyes and try hard to smile back as sincere as I can in this moment. “Neh…” I answer and heave a sigh, straighten up and pull away from the car I was working on right now. He places one of his tender hands on my shoulder and tells me I can take the rest of the day off and go back home if I would want that right now, because there is not much going on in the car repair shop. Staring at him, I bite my lip and think about it, nod thankfully and leave my workplace immediately after that offer to go back into my car. I sit there for a while, hands resting on the steering wheel and my eyes stare straight into nothing. My vision blurs and my expression goes blank again.

I had been visiting Yoseob in the hospital for weeks, months and then, after almost half a year had passed, he finally woke up. Before that I had lost the last bit of hope, people from every site were telling me to let him go, but I couldn’t and I was relieved that I kept on holding on to him instead of believing them.

Yoseob had to been kept at the hospital for a little while. I think it was around three months? Well, doesn’t matter, it was just too long for me but I could bear with that after waiting for so long for him to wake up. The doctors and nurses needed to keep an eye on him and check if everything was alright.  They took him through various tests, brain scans and soon they figured out that not everything was alright. I sat in the chair, next to his bed as the nurse had to ask him a few questions.

“Name?” she asked and looked up at him from her clipboard. My gaze fell on him too as I leaned back into the chair. He hesitated, seeming not to remember his own name for a moment but then, finally – and he seemed pretty much relieved too – he answered. “Yoseob…Yang Yoseob…” he murmured and smiled gently. Oh, how I missed this smile I thought back then. Then she asked a few follow-up questions, like what year it was, his birth date and the city he was born in. In which city he lived right now and then as final question she asked about if he had a partner and a name. He smiled cheerily and nodded, pointing at me. “Neeeh. Lee Kikwang, my fiancé!” My eyes widened and I brightened up. This was the first time that I heard the term ‘fiancé’ being used for me and it made me happy.

The next tests they had for him during the next days were some kind of memory tests. Either they wanted him to repeat at least ten terms after them or they showed him a few items, put them away again and asked him a few questions before having him recall most of the items again. He failed through these memory tests and thus he felt a little nervous, it was visible as he was scratching his arm lightly, looking down at the sheets and always hesitating, recalling a few things wrong or not even remembering the most. As I talked to the nurse and doctors they told me to sit down but I didn’t want to. I crossed my arms and bit my lip. They told me that Yoseob could remember the things before the incident happened easily (for now) but he couldn’t take new information, or just hardly. He would forget the most after a few minutes or maybe if he was lucky after a few days. He wasn’t capable of keeping memories anymore. His short-term-memory was pretty, in my words, ed up. Additional to that they also told me, that the more time passed, he would even forget old memories. Sometimes he would remember things after months, but forget them again. I asked if there would be any chance that he could get better, maybe with an operation, but they declined. It would be too risky and there was a 99% that he would rather die. I didn’t want to take that risk back then.

 I straighten up in my seat, focusing my eyes on the road and start up the engine. I want to drive home; I want to drive back home and back to my Yoseob. Reminiscing about what happened just bothers me, depresses me and makes me keep remembering, that some day, he will even forget who I am.

As I arrive home, I quickly step out of my shoes. “Yoseob? I’m home!” I get out of my jacket and throw it onto a cabinet, stepping into the living room. “Welcome hoooome!” He greets me happily and jumps up from the couch, running up to me to tackle me in a hug. I giggle and wrap my arms around him. “I wanna go out!” He pulls back and pouts at me, not even questioning why I’m home that early. Sometimes he remembers what he has become and what the doctors told him, sometimes he would forget it again and stay oblivious to his condition and sometimes I would even catch him crying about it whenever he kept remembering what he has but doesn’t remember the littlest of things instead.

I smile down at him and peck his lips. “Anything in mind what you want to do?” I ask and pull back again. He rushes into the corridor and puts on his shoes. “Aniya! Maybe to the park?” I follow after him and take his scarf, putting it around his neck gently. He looks up at me, confused. “It’s cold outside.” I say with a smile and kiss him. “Yah, I’m not a kid!” He pouts and I chuckle as I ruffle his hair. “Mhm.”

                Strolling around in the park, we both hold hands quietly until he pulls at my hand. I glance down at him and raise my brow questioningly. “I want to go there!” He points up to a coffee shop on the other side of a street. I smile and pull him closer by his waist, obliging to him. We have been quite often to the coffee shop, but it seems like it’s never familiar to him. As I sit across of him at a table my gaze is always fixed on him. I wonder how it must feel, how it would be to forget everything slowly, step by step and then I wish that I could make him feel better; I wish he wouldn’t have to go through this. I wish I could just take his condition over and have it myself, but then again he would have to deal with me and be the responsible one. I wouldn’t want him to overwork either; I wouldn’t want him to take the blame like I do. Maybe if it would be me with the condition, I would force myself to leave him so he wouldn’t have that much responsibility because of me. Not that I hate having this much responsibility, because I would do anything for him. I just think he would crack under the pressure early.  To be honest, I’m not even sure how long I will be able to go through this, but I will try to keep going for as long as I can. I can’t leave him alone, not when I feel like the person who caused it all.

“Yah, Kiki?” my vision fixes on him properly and I blink. “Huh?” I just say and he repeats his question. “I asked ‘How was work today?’. Yah, yeobo, where is your mind?” He tilts his head and smiles at me. I just shrug and tell him that I took off the whole day and won’t go to the attorney’s office today. He wonders and asks when I started there and I just say a few days ago, even though it already had been months. He hits my arm lightly for not telling him and I chuckle half-heartedly.

                My mind zooms out again as I look down at our hands, fingers touching, caressing and playing with each other. I notice the ring on his finger. Some day he will forget that we are engaged, maybe the ring will keep reminding him from time to time, but he will still forget. I wonder what would be if the accident wouldn’t have happened? Would we be married by now? I think we would be, because Yoseob would’ve never been that patient enough to be engaged for so long. I can imagine how he would kept nagging about how we should get married soon and that he’d imagine, how it would be if we could marry legally in our country and have a proper wedding. Otherwise our second plan was to just go to Vegas after looking for the next best country nearby, but Vegas did sound pretty cool.