Please Don’t Go Away Ever Again

“Bom-yang?” Jiyong reached out and searched for his lady with his eyes closed. Where is she?! We were still.. After a few seconds of searching but to no avail, his eyes snapped open as he started panicking. His thoughts were interrupted by that beam of sunlight that was shining in through that tiny gap between his two curtains, and he was brought back to reality. Cold, hard reality. She wasn’t there anymore. She’d left him. Sighing, he returned back to his cave and hid well under his blanket. This is not real. This is not real. I’m just dreaming.. He didn’t know how long it has been. He just stayed there.

“I’m sorry Jiyong, but I can’t go on with this anymore. I need a break.”  With tears welling up around her crescent moon eyes, Bom picked her luggage and walked out of her apartment, leaving her phone on the table. Bom needed a break, a clean break from her current life. All those criticisms about her were too much for her to handle. She was sick and tired of the media criticising her almost every single week. She felt that she had improved and was doing her best, but no, the media just can’t see how much effort she’d put in. She was sick and tired of hearing the same comments over and over again, she’d enough of all those . She may be in a tough girl band, but she’s human too. She has feelings too, and her tolerance level has reached its limit. The latest article about her was the last straw. That night, she packed up, booked an air ticket, and left Seoul. She didn’t tell anyone where she’d gone, nor did she tell anyone the reason to her mysterious disappearance. Bom just disappeared all out of a sudden, and she left Jiyong’s life, leaving him with nothing but that last sentence and her iPhone. And Jiyong’s time stopped at that very minute he realized Bom was gone.

Sticking his hand out of his blanket, he reached across his bedside table for his phone but he took Bom’s one by mistake. He sighed as he scrolled through her messages, or rather, their messages. Looking at the few applications Bom had opened previously, he stopped at her calendar. There were dates marked with activities Bom had wanted to do. Blinking confusedly, Jiyong clicked on a date and stared at the list. He smiled his first smile, it was a small and short one, but he finally smiled. He got out of his cave, changed and went to the café he had always wanted to show her.

Park Bom-yang, we’re finally here. Jiyong stepped into the café and chose a corner seat. Without even looking at the menu, he ordered a corn cupcake for Bom and a cup of hot coffee for himself. It was only until a moment later did Jiyong realized what he had ordered, which caused him to feel all those mixed emotions. I promise to bring you here when you’re back. He imagined Bom’s happy face as he picked up the cupcake and chuckled slightly when he saw that twinkle in her eyes. Smiling, he took a bite of the cupcake and pretended he was feeding her.

Jiyong ah, this cupcake is really soooo~ yummy! Mmm~ He smiled as he watched his lady make funny yet cute facial expressions as she ate her cupcake happily.

After that day, Jiyong was back to his old self once again, or rather that’s what he showed the others. Little did they know that whenever he said he was going out to meet his friends, he was actually following Bom’s calendar and doing those activites alone, pretending that she was there with him. The other members of the YG Family were surprised by his sudden change of behaviour, and were confused. After discussing for some time among themselves, they decided to send Seungri as the first candidate to talk to Jiyong about it.

“Hyung?” Ri opened the door slightly and stuck his head inside Jiyong’s room.  He found Jiyong at his desk, scribbling furiously. Seungri found all sorts of papers scattered all over his table as he approached his hyung.

“Yes Maknae, do you need hyung’s help in anything?” Jiyong put down his pencil and turned himself to face his beloved maknae.

Taking in a deep breath, Seungri started reading out his script he had planned in his head. “Hyung, I know you’re sad that Park Bom noona has left you, and us, all out of a sudden, and she did not leave anything behind. I understand that you’re feeling a lot of emotions inside you, and you’re confused. But hyung, one day you went out of your room, and then when you came back, you were back to the old Jiyong-hyung again. What happened hyung? Did Bommie noona contact you? Have you found her?”

Jiyong knew he’d to face this sooner or later. Putting on that fake smile he’d been practicing for some time, he walked towards Seungri and patted him on his back as he led the both of them to the corner of his bed so that they can talk more comfortably.

“She didn’t contact me. And no I haven’t found her too.”

“But.. Hyung!”

“Maknae, do you seriously think I will just stay in my room and do nothing until Noona comes back? What will happen to Big Bang? What will happen to us? And our families?”

Seungri sighed. “But hyung, are you really okay? Are you sure you are okay?”

Jiyong nodded his head slowly and placed his hands on Seungri’s shoulder to reassure him. “Hyung is fine, Maknae. Hyung is very touched that you came and talked to me about this, but there’s nothing for you to worry about. You can tell the rest I’m feeling fine too, and I’m over that period already.” He saw Ri raising his eyebrows, and patted him. “Really! Hyung is fine!”

“Okay... If you say so hyung.” Seungri stood up and walked towards the door. “Ah, by the way hyung, Chaerin asked if you knew whether Bom noona has a blog or something that she updates frequently. She thinks Noona will keep on updating that space despite her disappearance because.. You know.. Chaerin says it is like a habit.” Seungri placed a hand on his chin and looked as if he was in deep thoughts.

Jiyong, on the other hand, felt this small flutter in his stomach. Why didn’t I think of that! I haven’t been thinking straight recently. Shaking his head, he shrugged and sighed. “Sorry maknae. Tell Chae I’m sorry too.”

Jiyong waited till he was sure Seungri had officially left him and reached out for his laptop. Typing in the website he’d found out by chance, he tapped his fingers impatiently as he waited for it to load. It was updated with posts that were locked with a password. It was his second time visiting this website, for he didn’t felt that need to do so, since Bom always told him everything and anything. Despite that, Jiyong knew that password straight away.

Bingo.

Jiyong ah.. Jiyong’s eyes widened. Jiyong ah, I’m really sorry for leaving you. I’d heard from my unnie that you’d been hiding inside your room for some time now. Please tell me you’re doing well, you’re eating and sleeping well. I’m really sorry. Every night I wish I have that courage to call you, and explain everything to you. But.. I’m afraid Jiyong. I don’t want to drag you down. I know what you will do. I.. miss you so much.

“Bom ah.. just tell me. Why can’t you tell me. We can face this together right..” Jiyong muttered as he scrolled down to the next post.

Jiyong ah, it’s a few minutes before my plane flight and I guess you’re now at my room now trying to find something but failed to do so. I’m sorry baby. I.. really can’t take it anymore. All those comments. All those repeating issues. I really can’t stand it anymore. I have too many doubts about myself right now. I just can’t face all of you with that happy-go-lucky expression and pretending I’m okay. I can’t face you and show you how much I love you when I can’t even love myself now. I need a break. I need to clear these feelings and thoughts from me. But please Jiyong.. please tell me that you won’t leave me. You won’t forget me. You won’t give up on me. And that.. you will still love me. I love you Jiyong, I really love you so much. I’m sorry.

“Bommie..” Jiyong was crying as he read. “I will love you B.” Sniffling, he scrolled down.

Jiyong ah, who am I really? Am I that girl the media talked about? Or am I the girl I thought I was? I’m sorry, I know I’ve been talking about this for several times now, but.. I just can’t help but feel emotional each time I read those articles, those hurtful comments. Am I really that terrible? I’m really not suitable to be with you. I’m too old for you. I’m too dumb for you. You’re that genius Kwon Jiyong, but I’m just.. Park Bom.

“?!?!” Jiyong yelled as he read, causing Seungri to burst into his room to check on him.

“Hyung! Hyung! You okay?” Panic was written all over Ri’s face, and for a moment Jiyong was touched by Ri.

“Yes Maknae I’m fine. I.. I just accidentally deleted an important file. It’s okay, hyung knows how to recover it.” Jiyong tried his best to give his best reassurance look and prayed hard that Seungri didn’t catch those tears around his eyes. He heaved a sigh of relief when he saw Seungri nod and left him alone. Turning his attention back to Bom’s blog, he continued reading.

I’m always getting into trouble, and you’ve to help me out of it. Every day I asked myself, am I worth your love? I find myself changing.. I’m sorry if I’d changed. I just can’t help myself. Guess what.. Your text just came in, and suddenly I see so much light in this dark room I am in. I really don’t know what I will do without you, but.. This is confusing, I’m so confused. What do I really want?

Jiyong couldn’t bear to read further. He’d read enough. He had already found those answers to his questions. But what should he do? Turning to his bed, he saw her lying there, smiling.

“Bom-yang,” He whispered. “How much do you love me?”

He saw her stretching out her arms to their maximum as she giggled and shouted, “THIS MUCH JIYONG, THIS MUCHHH” Jiyong nodded at the figure he’d imagined.

“Will you be okay if you give me another week? I can’t just leave them like this. They might suspect.” She stood up and placed herself on his laps.

“Jiyong ah, I’ll do anything for you. As long as I know you’ll still love me.”

“I will love you forever my lady.”

Jiyong turned back to his scribbling and started his work. Every day, he reminded himself not to get exposed by the others. He worked hard, he played with s and pretended that he was fine without Bom by his side. But when night comes, he would talk to that imaginative figure in his mind, and pretended that she was there by his side again. No one understood the reason to Jiyong’s sudden change in attitude. No one knew the reason to him being so strong. No one knew how crazy he’d been, no one but himself.

Jiyong ah, I heard from unnie that.. You’re doing fine. In fact, you’re back to being that same Kwon Jiyong. I’m really happy when I heard that but.. There’s this sadness inside me. Have you forgotten me already? ( T _ T ) I.. I will be going back to Seoul tomorrow for a final time before I officially start my plan. I guess I really need to stop feeling so miserable over myself. And after tomorrow, I will let you go. Jiyong ah, after tomorrow, you’ll be free. I will miss you. But I guess by the time I officially come back from my disappearance, you would have found someone much better than me. I love you baby.

He slammed his laptop and grabbed his backpack. Bom-yang, I thought you said a week would be alright? Don’t even think of leaving me. God.

“RI! HYUNG IS GOING OUT NOW. I WON’T BE HOME FOR DINNER.” Jiyong shouted and rushed out of the house without waiting for Seungri’s reply.

“Chaerin ah, Hyung took his backpack and rushed out of the apartment! You think he’ll be fine? Mm.. Okay. Okay. I’ll see you in a bit then.” Seungri slid his phone into his pocket and went to change. Something is going on with hyung, I’m sure of it.

Jiyong drove as fast as he could. He sped, he dashed past traffic lights and he almost knocked someone down. He was going crazy as he drove. Don’t let me miss you again Bom-yang. He didn’t know her flight time. He didn’t know how she would dress. He didn’t know anything. But he knew one thing. He got to get his Bom back, and face everything she was facing with her.

“Chaerin ah, help me take a look at hyung’s laptop. He was looking at it before he rushed out.” Seungri started his engine as he passed Chaerin the laptop. She scanned through the page Jiyong was last on and gasped.

“Jingyo oppa.. Bom unnie..” Chaerin started stuttering as she read. “Seungri-ya, airport! Now!”

“You mean hyung knew where Park Bom noona is?”

“I don’t know Ri.. But I think Jiyong oppa has been lying to us all these while.”

On the other hand, Bom was preparing her emotions as she boarded the plane back to Seoul. No crying when you see Jiyong later. No crying when you see the girls later. Don’t even have the idea of approaching Jiyong and the girls. Don’t even appear in front of them. You got to be strong for a last time.

Jiyong..I really hope that I’ll be able to see you.

Jiyong rushed through the sliding doors and stood there. He didn’t know where to start. He didn’t have a clue but he’d this hunch. Praying hard on that hunch, he walked slowly towards the area, trying hard to keep himself stable to prevent himself from attracting unnecessary attention from the public. He sat at a nearby bench and waited. He prayed as he waited, looking up occasionally to look at the flight timings. Please Bommie… don’t let me miss you.

His phone vibrated. Seungri. Recomposing himself, Jiyong picked up the phone, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

“Hello?”

“Hyung! Where’re you?!” Jiyong noted the pants in between Seungri’s words. Was he running?

 “Ah.. maknae wassup! Hyung is outside with his friends.” He heard voices in the background as if they were arguing before someone spoke again.

“Jingyo oppa. Where. Are. You.” He could hear Chaerin leader’s tone loud and clear. She meant business, and Jiyong knows it.

“Hunchae, oppa is busy right now okay? I’ll call-“

“OPPA!” His words were cut off by Chaerin’s shouting from the other end. “IF YOU DON’T TELL ME WHICH PART OF THE AIRPORT YOU ARE AT RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO ING KILL YOU WHEN WE FIND YOU!” He froze. Was he exposed? Sighing, he told Chaerin and hung up the phone. He was about to walk off before the rest found him, but something made him stop in his tracks.

“One corn please, thank you.”

Shocked as he allowed that familiar voice echo in his ears, he turned his head around slowly in case he was mistaken. Jiyong didn’t know if the lady who was waiting for her corn in front of him was real or just part of his crazy imagination.

“I.. I..This.. What.. ” Jiyong started mumbling words that made no sense as he approached the lady.

“Bom-yang,” He whispered and saw how the lady in front of him froze immediately at that name. She is real, I’m not being crazy. He decided to take the chance and start again.

“Bom-yang, are you really in front of me? I miss-.”But before Jiyong was done with his sentence, the lady had already grabbed her corn, pulled her luggage as she pushed past him and walked off.

Bom, what are you doing? You came back to see Jiyong right. You.. Her thoughts scattered when she felt a hug from behind and heard Jiyong’s slow breath beside her ear.

“Bom-yang, don’t leave me again. Please.” She felt him her hair before sliding his long fingers across her check. “Don’t cry, I’ll be with you.” She looked down and realized that his fingers were wet with her tears. She missed him so much.

“Jiyong.. I-.”

“HYUNG!” The both of them looked up and saw Seungri running towards them with Chaerin following close behind him.

“UNNIE? UNNIE!!!!!” Chaerin waved happily as she ran towards them.

However, Seungri and Chaerin had made such a big commotion that they’d attracted the public’s attention. Almost everyone stopped and stared at the four of them, and whispers could be heard from all four corners before a scream was heard.

“BIG BANG AND 2NE1!”

Chaerin and Seungri smacked themselves mentally as they started running away from the mob. Jiyong took the initiative and picked up Bom’s luggage with one hand while he held Bom’s hand with the other as they followed the two in front. In the end, Seungri led them towards the V.I.P room the airport has for artistes.

“GOD MAKNAE. Must you shout so loud?!” Jiyong scolded as he tried to catch his breath, before putting Bom’s luggage at a corner far away from them in case Bom decided to run away again.

“Hyung~~~ Chaerin was part of it too~” Seungri whined, hoping that Jiyong would be lenient with him. “Plus, we found Bommie noona!” Seungri gave a goofy smile as he looked at Chaerin and helped her to clean off the droplets of sweats around her forehead. However, he earned himself a slap on his forehead from Chaerin because of his earlier words. Despite that, he laughed, causing Chaerin to laugh at his silliness. “Jingyo oppa found unnie, not us!”

Bom, on the other hand, remained silent as she tried to stablise her emotions and breathing. She got to think and act fast. While she was lost in her own thoughts, Jiyong had signaled Seungri to bring Chaerin to the other side of the room as he talked to Bom.

“Noona.” Bom blinked and looked around, confused. Chaerin and Seungri had went to the other corner, and she was left alone with Jiyong. Great.

“Jiyong.. I.. I..” Bom started, but Jiyong was one step ahead of her.

“Bom-yang listen to me first.” He placed his arms on her shoulders and made her look at him in the eye as he talked. “On the day you left me, I went mad. I hide inside my room, I drank, I smoke, I got lost. Every night I dreamt of you, and every morning I woke up feeling even worse off than the previous night. One day, I stepped out of the room and went to the café you’ve always wanted to go. I pretended that you were still right there with me, and we had fun. Ever since that day, I went crazier. I brought ‘you’ to places that you’d always wanted to go, and bought ‘you’ things that ‘you’ wanted. I became back to the old Kwon Jiyong because I’d convinced myself that you are back beside me and that you’d never left me. I managed to convinced the rest that I was fine, but I’ve not forgotten you for a minute Bommie, and I will never forget you. I.. I really need you. You are absolutely not just Park Bom, you’re so much more than that. I know how stupid the media is. But do you remember? You were there for me when I got bashed by the media. You were the one who brought me out of the darkness each time I fell. So please.. Please Bom-yang. Don’t tell me you’re sorry and leave me just like that. Let me be the one to bring you out of this darkness. Don’t think that you’re being a burden or what. Let us face this together. Everything will be okay, as long as we’re together.”

By the time Jiyong had finished his talk, Bom was sobbing uncontrollably. She could see his sincerity, and she was too touched. She couldn’t believe how much she’d affected the guy in front of her. She’d affected him to the extent that he went crazy and did all those silly things. And he suffered alone, while pretending to be alright in front of the rest. Jiyong reached over and pulled Bom towards him, hugging her tightly.

“Jiyong-ah, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Bom coughed as she choked on her tears. Jiyong patted her back slowly and comfortably, humming a song he always used to calm her down.  

On the other side of the room, Chaerin was tearing. She was touched by Jiyong’s actions and words, and felt happy that her unnie has Jiyong oppa with her.

“Aww, baby Chaerin is crying.” Seungri sniggered, which earned him another smack on his forehead. “Yah! What is that for?” Seungri frowned as he touched his own forehead.

“That’s for teasing me, you idiot!” Chaerin stuck out her tongue as she started wiping away her tears with her hand, but was stopped by Seungri.

“Let oppa help you.” Chaerin looked at Seungri and removed her hand from her face. Slowly and seriously, Seungri cleaned those tear stains from Chaerin’s face with his fingers, making sure that there was no mascara stain on her flawless face. Chaerin felt her heart thumping quickly and loudly that she was afraid that Seungri would hear it, with only this short distance between them.

“Done!” Seungri smiled proudly, happy of his great accomplishment.

“Seungri-ya.” Chaerin blurted out as she tried to calm herself down. Seungri’s next move took her in a shock. He closed the distance between them with a hug.

Chaerin swallowed that lump in . “Y-Yah..” Her quivering voice wasn’t helping her at all. Seungri shushed her up and patted her back slowly, causing Chaerin to relax a little.

“This is for my girl Lee Chaerin, who’d remain so strong and clear-minded despite all the issues we’d faced.” Seungri started as he tightened his arms around her. “It’s not fair that only hyung and noona can hug right.” Seungri let out a chuckle, before continuing. “Plus, someone here had envy written all over her face.”

Chaerin flushed, and buried her face in Seungri’s chest, causing Seungri to giggle. Silly Lee Seunghyun.

“Ahem.” Jiyong cleared his throat and chuckled softly as the two instantly sprang away from each other. “Sorry to break your moment, but Bom-yang and I are going to make a move first.”

Chaerin approached Bom in her leader role. “Bom unnie, no more nonsense like this ever again okay? We are a group, we face everything together. You can talk to us about it, or at least talk to Jingyo oppa about it. I don’t want to see another disappearing act from you, and Jingyo oppa going crazy alright?”

“Yes sir~!” Bom giggled and saluted to her leader as Jiyong slid his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Chaerin and Seungri looked at each other and smiled. They could tell Bom was feeling much better after the talk with Jiyong, and the two had more or less sort things out between themselves.

“Okay Maknae, Hunchae, we need to go already. You guys can tell the rest that Bom-yang is back, but don’t tell them what exactly happened.”Jiyong took a look at Bom as she nodded her head guiltily. “Hunchae, I’m sure I can trust you to do that. You take care of Maknae and make sure he knows what to say alright.”

“Hyung~” Seungri started whining at his hyung’s words as Chaerin laughed and nodded.

“Bom-yang and I will be on a short vacation, I’ve told hyung about it already. Bom-yang really needs it. Maknae, take care of the apartment when I’m gone and make sure you don’t kill Ga-Ho, or else you’re dead you get it? And no touching my stuffs. And.. NO STAYOVERS.” Jiyong looked at the two younger ones in front of him and they nodded profusely, both having this tint of pink on their cheeks.

Bom giggled at the two in front of her and slid her hand into Jiyong’s. “Aren’t you being a little too harsh towards them? I’m sure CL-roo knows what to do.”

Jiyong tightened his grip on Bom’s hand as they walked out of the room through a safer exit. “I’m just teasing them, but whatever the case, I’m glad everything is fine.” They walked in a comfortable silence towards Jiyong’s car.

“Bom-yang?”

“Mmm?”

“Please don’t go away ever again.” 

Author's note: Ah, how is this? It's been a long time since I really sit down and write. I know it's quite dramatic and boring with the same old storyline, but bleah, I hope you guys like this! Was kinda into ririn that I wrote about them without knowing it.