I hate this place, really I do. Being trapped inside, day in day out. It would be better if it was nice outside my window at least. But no, all I see is gloom. The rain today is worse than it has been all week. Maybe it's even been more than a week. The days are all just blending together I can barely tell when one day has ended and another one has started. Being in this situation is so frustrating. Even more frustrating because I can't get out. I want an escape, why can't I have one? You would think I really was insane. But maybe that's the point. Being locked up in here, away from my love. Being stuck in this little room, with a little window, and not being able to see him. Not being able to see Myungsoo, the reason for my existence, and the reason for my downfall.

If he had only listened to me, none of this would have happened at all. But what did he do? He did exactly what I told him not to do that night. He left. He just got up and left me. I didn't know where he even went, that's why I went out to look for him. Running through the dark streets on what I remember was a cold and rainy night, much like each passing day here has been like. I was running after him, shouting his name, the rain pouring down my face, masking the tears as my voice grew hoarse from calling for him.

I remember I stopped at a lamp post to catch my breath, and I happened to look into the alley that was nearby. I saw two figures, and I recognized one of them as my Myungsoo. I ran into the alley but came to a prompt stop when I realized that Myungsoo wasn't getting mugged like I thought he was. No, he was there in that alley, with that man, kissing him. Kissing him like how we used to kiss. I really don't even know what had gotten into me; all I know is the next thing that happened was something in me snapped. I remember I pulled the man off of Myungsoo and I began punching him.

I could vaguely hear Myungsoo yelling for me to stop in the background, but I didn't listen, I kept punching and punching. I'm not really sure what had happened after that, but when I next opened my eyes, I was here, in this tiny room where all it did was rain day in and day out. I had started out by making tally marks on the wall to mark the days that I was locked here in my prison, but after a while that grew bothersome, and then I stopped counting whatsoever.

Doctors come into my room every now and then to ask me questions, to see if I can remember anything else that happened, but I never do. A doctor came in a little while ago and I asked him how long I had been here for, and he told me that it's already been eight months. Eight months in this hell hole. Eight months without the love of my life. Eight months without Myungsoo. I want to know what he's doing, how he's living, and more importantly, how he's doing with me. I asked one of the doctors if I could write a letter to Myungsoo and they agreed. I may as well write it now since, honestly, what else do I have to do?

I took the piece of paper out from under my thin mattress and I took the small pencil they provided me with and I began to write. I poured my heart to Myungsoo in that letter. After all, eight months is a very long time to be away from someone. At the end of the letter, I asked him to visit me. When I had finished writing my letter, I called one of the nurses into my room and gave it to her asking her to deliver it promptly. After that, I waited. I waited for days. Those days turned into weeks. The weeks turned into another month, and I thought my letter had done nothing, but a nurse came to my room telling me I had a visitor.

She took a hold of my arm and led me out of my room, and sat me down at a table. I could have cried at the sight of the man in front of me, but I didn't, I smiled. It was Myungsoo, he was here. He was here for me. Finally. "Myungsoo." I simply said. I had no idea where to start. "Hello, Sungyeol." Myungsoo replied. Why did he sound so cold? He sounded so distant; does he hate me now for leaving him for so long? "How are you Myungsoo?" I asked him, trying to ignore his tone and carry on a conversation with the man I love. "I'm not okay Sungyeol." he sighed. "Not after what you did."

I was so confused. I hadn't done anything. "What do you mean?" I asked him. I really had no idea what could have made him this angry at me. "You killed him Sungyeol." Myungsoo said, icily. "You killed him and got away with it. And you know why you got away with it?" I shook my head. "It's because you're a ing whack-job! I don't know how I ever loved you." He said he loved me. That implies he doesn't love me anymore. Why doesn't he love me anymore?

"I love you Myungsoo, why don't you love me?" I asked him in a small voice, not exactly wanting to hear what he had to say, but curiosity was getting the best of me. "That is why!" He shouted. It frightened me and I jumped in my seat. "You always think that just because you love someone that they HAVE to love you back. You can't get everything you want, Sungyeol!" He slapped me. I held my face, looking up at him in shock as the security dragged him away from me. "Stop!" I yelled at them. "Let my Myungsoo go!" I tried to chase after them, but the nurses stopped me and pulled me back into my room.

I threw myself onto the bed and cried. What did Myungsoo mean when he said I killed someone? Did I kill that man that was trying to steal my Myungsoo away from me? I hit my head in frustration. Why couldn't I remember anything? After a while, I had fallen asleep.

I heard a small knock on my door and I woke up to see a doctor and some nurses walk in. The doctor sat in front of me. "How are you feeling Sungyeol?" he gently asked. "I'm confused." He wrote my answer down on his clipboard. "And why are you confused?" I looked down at my hands. "Myungsoo said I killed someone." I watched as he scribbled more notes on his paper. "Do you know who?" he asked me. I shook my head no.

The doctor sighed and whispered to one of the nurses who then left the room. The doctor stood up and began to prepare a needle. They were going to inject me with that stuff again. It always burned and made my head hurt, but I couldn't protest. The nurse came back in with the vial of liquid and the doctor quickly finished preparing the injection and pushed the needle into my arm, pumping the liquid fire into my veins. The doctor patted my head and turned the nurses to converse with them.

I could only hear snippets of the conversation though; my head was pounding from the medicine. "Confused." "Hallucinations." "Bad memory." What were they talking about? The pounding in my head grew to be too much and I succumbed to sleep. When I woke up in the morning, the nurses were putting a strait jacket on me. I looked up at them and tried to wriggle away from them, but the security guards came into the room, as well as the doctor.

"What's going on?" I asked in a panic. The doctor sighed. "You aren't well Sungyeol." "What do you mean? I'm fine!" I shouted. The nurses tightened the straps on the jacket, immobilizing me. "Wait until Myungsoo hears about this!" I screamed. "Sungyeol...” the doctor started. "Myungsoo isn't real. Your hallucinations have been getting much worse and I'm afraid we can't do much more for you here. You're going to an asylum." What are they talking about?

"Myungsoo is real! What do you mean?!" They're crazy! How can they not know Myungsoo! "He was just here! He just visited me!" I shouted as the nurses were holding me down. The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose and he sat down. "No Sungyeol, he wasn't." He tapped his fingers together as though thinking of what to say next.

"The night were brought in, you had attacked a pedestrian on the street, claiming that he was stealing this 'Myungsoo' from you. The whole incident was caught on film, Sungyeol. The man you killed was alone; there was no Myungsoo with him. You killed an innocent man, Sungyeol. The entire time you've been here, you've been talking about this Myungsoo, but he doesn't exist. The letter you wrote, there was no one at that address by the name of Myungsoo. I'm sorry Sungyeol, but after you attacked the guards yesterday claiming that Myungsoo was here and they were dragging him away from you, we knew we had to take other measures to cure you."

What is he talking about? I didn't kill an innocent man. "Myungsoo is real!" I cried out again. The doctor sighed once more before leaving the room, signaling the nurses to follow him, and the guards to bring me out. They dragged me to a black van and threw me in the back, the entire time I was protesting that Myungsoo is real. I kicked against the door of the van as they closed it, but to no avail. I turned around in the back, surprised to see Myungsoo in the back of the van.

"Myungsoo!" I shouted, surprised. "What are you doing here? You could have told them you were here and this wouldn't have happened!" I walked on my knees towards him, and I fell forward, to put my head on his knees. My head went right through Myungsoo though, hitting the metal of the van, and my vision went black. I came to when sunlight streamed into my eyes and I realized I was mumbling to myself. "Where is Myungsoo? He was here, in the van with me, but now he's gone."

Two guards took my arms and took me out of the van. "Where is Myungsoo?" I asked the one on my right. He gave me no answer so I asked the man on my right. "I'm sure your Myungsoo is waiting for you in your room." he replied. Myungsoo, waiting for me in my room? I got to live with Myungsoo? I smiled widely as they led me to my room. No longer was I angry, no. Myungsoo is waiting upstairs for me! The guards led me up the stairs and headed down a hall.

They opened a door and let me inside the room, I was quickly looking for Myungsoo. One of the men injected something in my arm quickly and I began to grow woozy in my hunt for my Myungsoo. I slumped onto the floor, looking for him with my eyes, but the last thing I heard before I went to sleep was one of the guards, as he shut and locked my door.

A/N

So this is definitely something DIFFERENT from what I usually write, huh?

Let me know if you liked it~