"Nah uh! This is what you get when you break my toys!!" Taemin shot back, pulling the little barbie doll with just as much force. 

 

"Arghh I did not break your stupid toy! Now let go of Mrs Kim, you are going to break her!" 

 

Taemin sneared. "I don't care and i won't let go until you apologise." One final tug from him and that was it, the impact sent us both flying across the room. 

 

"Owwww!" Taemin winced at his sore .

 

It was silence for awhile as both Taemin and i stared at the dislocated leg from the body lying on the ground. 

 

A girl at the age of five at that time could only have that much limit to her patience. Taemin did it. He broke whats left of my mother, the Barbie doll she got me for my 

4th Birthday present. All because i was a spoiled brat and threw a thantrum until she get me one after i saw it sitting nicely in a pretty pink box on display. I named it Mrs Kim right away after i got it. Well just because i am a Kim and always wanted a little sister but mom said i can't have one. But now she's gone, all i left was this doll and that son of a voldemort had to destroy it.

 

"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!? I screamed. My vision was all blury in a split second and i bursted out in tears. I cried and wailed and started hitting Taemin all over like a crazy kid on loose. 

 

"Stop hitting me you dwarf!!!" Taemin yelled as he defended himself. "Mrs Kim deserves to die anyway!" 

 

"SHUTUP!" I screamed even harder. I would've bruised him in the area if it weren't for dad and Mrs Lee's interruption. Taemin and i were still atempting to

hurt each other even after we were forced to break apart. I remembered dad's voice. He sounded dissapointed and tired. Tired from all the fights we get into. Still, he believed it was because we wasn't used to having a new sibling in the house, afterall we were still immature little kids back then. He understood that it must be shock for us kids to hear their only parent is getting

married to a stranger. I've never met Taemin until the day of the wedding itself.

 

Taemin did not like my company and i certainly didn't like his either. He had a horrible attitude and hated sharing. All he does was to get me into trouble and play pranks on me. To me, Taemin was just an unwanted irritating pest. That boy had a mushroom haircut i just wana shave it all away. Mrs Lee is a nice lady, i like her, just not her deviled son.

 

"Daddy, look what Taemin did to Mrs Kim!" I cried innocently and pointed to the pathetic broken doll. 

 

"Lee Taemin, how many times must we go through this?!" Mrs Lee repremanded her son. "Now go apologise to Hyorin right this instant!" 

 

"BUT SHE BROKE MY BEN 10 WATCH FIRST!!" Taemin exploded.

 

Dad turned to face me. "This time it is your fault, Hyorin ah. You shouldn't have done it in the first place." He then sigh and gave Mrs Lee an apologetic look. She smiled to assure my dad its fine.

 

I remained silent, i bit my upper lip as i didn't want to apologise. Though, it was actually my fault. 

 

After what it seems like eternity, we both gave up in trying to get whose fault was it and forcefully shook hands as a promise to Dad and Mrs Lee that we won't be fighting anymore. Ofcourse, that hand shake hadn't serve its purpose by the next day.

 

***

 

I had to make sure i looked my best on the first day of school, especially i'll be finally starting my year as a eight grader. Taking my own sweet time moisturizing and curling my long 

black hair which took me seven years to grow until he had to ruin my moment, again.

 

"Will you hurry up in there!! Its the first day of school, not a freakin beauty pagent, get over it and get out!" Taemin yelled from the other side of the door. I could feel him pacing urgently

up and down the hallways to hold his pee in. If this was torturing him, then my goal for the day was completed. 

 

"Oh it up and be a man. Go do it in the garden, help water the plants!" I teased. I was loving every second of it, for once, i was winning. "I am busy working on something important here."

 

"You better get out now before i water your face, !" 

 

I eventually opened the door as i was done with makeup and almost done with my hair. But mainly because i didn't want a broken door and my face to smell like pee on the first day of school. Nope, can't have that. I had my share of fun that morning anyways.

 

Taemin knocked me over and rushed in like a ninja the minute he saw the door cracked open.

 

"YAH!!" 

 

 

"When will you two ever stop? Your dad and i have had enough of all of you guy's nonsense!" Mrs Lee walked into the kitchen and caught Taemin and i fighting over who gets the last slice of toast. "You two have been fighting since our marriage, we are so tired of constantly having to break up both of you." Dad followed in after and

added. "Please, both of you aren't kids anymore. If you can't like each other, atleast get along. Think of our feelings too, we have to work to support this family and have no time to handle problems like these."

 

I looked at Taemin and he looked back with the same blank expression. 

 

"Its all your fault" I mumbled.

 

"Whatever" Taemin snapped back. I merely glared at him.

 

 

Our lives in the house had been pretty much the same after that, nothing much changed. We still hated each other and never failed to quarrel over the slightest things. Dad and Mrs Lee were still as sweet as ever, though they can do nothing about us. They've given up trying to get us liking each other long ago, there just wasn't any smiles between me and Taemin. 

 

Its not like i had not try getting to know Taemin better, i tried but it was just not working. I still hated him as much as the first day i saw him. He on the other hand, did not seem to put in any effort. 

 

***

 

"And so she was like no way! And i was like, yeah way. And she went all y on me.." One of my girlfriends went on. Of course i weren't actually listening, just laughed and nod my head whenever i needed to. Not that i care about the latest scoops about the school, i wasn't really a gossiper. But you know how the typical popular es works, and they happened to be my friends. 

 

"Hey, hottie at ten O clock." Jiyeon stopped talking and was pointing to a group of flower boys passing through the crowd of other students. Those boys really were standing out, with their colored hair and all. 

 

"Which one?" One of our friends, Minjung asked. I was curious too, Jiyeon hardly ever looks at guys, she was the type who get them worshiping at her feet but never bothered to entertain them.

 

"That one" She said with a slight smirk. Her eyes glisttering. I wonder who could it be.

 

Oh my god. No ing way. 

 

"Him?! TAEMIN?!" I was speechless

 

"So blondie's name is Taemin." Said Jiyeon confidently. "Wait. How did you know his name, Hyorin?" She eyed me suspiciously.

 

There was no way i was telling her that Taemin is my step brother, the girls would never buy it. They would just laugh it off and tell me to stop joking. I'm sure they would. I havn't really spoken to him at home, not to mention at school. Puberty hit Taemin and i reached the age of maturity, we both figured since we always quarrels once we started talking, its best to ignore each other, not to the point of avoiding though. The fights had definitely died down, but the fire's still there.

 

"Um, i heard one of his friends called him earlier on." I lied. "Was it Taemin? Or Taesun? Wait, Taeyang?" 

 

"Well, lets go find out then." Jiyeon was already half way approaching them before i could even reply. The other girls followed behind. 

 

. 

 

'You! What are you doing' Taemin mouthed the words to me. His looked like he was constipated.

 

'Shhhh! Just play along k.' I mouthed back.

 

"Do you and your friends care to join us for lunch?" Jiyeon shamelessly offered.

 

"Sure! We wouldn't mind, would we? Anything for you girls." Whatshisface replied immediately. He was obviously into Jiyeon, trying to flirt and get her attention. Which wasn't gona work cause she already had eyes on Taemin. Like, ew. 

 

"Sushi?" One of his friends suggested. 

 

"Sounds great."

 

I sighed. Being one of the populars in high school . I was still cluecless of how i even got there, it wasn't my choice to be apart of them, it just happened. And it certainly didn't help that Taemin was just as popular as well. 

 

 

My step-brother ended up dating my bestfriend. I never expect it would come down to this. I couldn't care less about Taemin's love life, but it is weird. Taemin had never dated anyone previously before (not of any that i've heard of) and Jiyeon was not his type to begin with anyway. They're like juice and wine, its just so wrong no matter the way i see it.

 

***

 

I scurried down the alley under the dim lights. "!" I cursed under my icy breath. It was already half past one in the morning and i'm still not home yet. Dad warned

me the last time i hung out till late in the midnight, he would ground me for a month if i ever try that again. I know my dad and he is a man of his words. 

 

I was still panting as i forced down the last drip of saliva down my dry throat, trying to open the gates as quietly as possible. I got on my tipy toes and find my way through the dark porch. 

 

"Ouch god dammit!" I whispered, holding the pain in as i bumped my head into something hard. The head throb distracted me until i heard another hoarse voice cursing somewhere in the darkness. It was Taemin. My eyes windened, so did his too. 

 

"You!" We said in unision

 

"Shhhhh! Keep it down will you!?" I hushed him 

 

"What are you doing here, at this hour!" He questioned. 

 

"What are YOU doing here?" I should be the one doing the questioning here, afterall, i am older than him by two months. That, makes me his, Noona. I bet he was out drinking or clubbing somewhere with Jiyeon and his group of friends.

 

"None of your business. Now move so i can get in the house." Taemin pushed me aside. "Mom is so gona kill me if she finds out i'm here instead of sleeping in my room."

 

"Oh like my dad wouldn't." I scoffed. 

 

I eventually managed to enter first while had to close the door for being the last to get in. The door squeaked loudly as Taemin tried to close it as quickly as possible.

 

"I am putting this on you if we get caught."

 

 

I was about to run past the master bedroom but stopped when i heard faint whisperings coming from there. Mrs Lee and dad was having a conversation, about us. Judging by the tone, it must be something serious. Taemin crashed his agaisnt my back due to my abrupt stop. 

 

"What are you doing! My room is just the next door, get out of the way." He said. 

 

"Quiet. Listen." I placed my ear near the door and try to eavsdrop. Taemin gave me a look but did the same. 

 

 

"The kids are still ignoring each other huh?" My dad spoke. "I don't know what to do with them anymore. In the past, i thought they were young and immature, but convinced myself that they will grow up and understand. I guess they never will."

 

"Give them more time, Jagiya" Taemin's mom comforted him. "They are still growing teenagers, i'm sure they will come to accept the fact that we're a family. Atleast i know Hyorin will. She's a sensible child, she knows what to do."

 

I sudden pang of guilt hit me. Mrs Lee thought so highly of me, pinned so much hope on me and yet i acted so childishly over the years. She must be dissapointed. 

 

"You? Sensible? Whatajoke." I heard Taemin mumble.

 

I merely gave him a hard nudge on the rib as a reply and continued to listen. 

 

"But it has been thirteen years, thirteen long years Jagiya! How much time do they need. Isn't thirteen years long enough?" I heard him sigh, followed by Mrs Lee's 

soft sniffings.

 

"We should've put our marriage into more consideration in the beginning, shouldn't we?"

 

At that point, i wanted to cry too. I had no clue we were giving them such a hard time. I looked over at Taemin, his face showed no expression. He was thinking. 

 

I got up and pulled him to the dining area. "We need to do something." I said before he could start. "We need do do something about us, something about our

relationship."   

 

He gave a puzzeled look at first but soon understood what i meant. "What do you have in mind? I mean, we both know we can't stand each other."

 

"Lets pretend to get along." I bluntly said. 

 

"Thats a crazy idea. I'm out." He started to walk away.

 

"Do you want to see your mom suffer?!" 

 

Taemin stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Fine." He hesitantly agreed. "But only for my mom and Mr Jung."

 

"Thats needless to say. Did you think i'm doing this because i actually want to get close to you?" I said as a matter of factly. "Over my dead body."

 

"Good."

 

"Good"

 

"Fine!"

 

"Fine!"

 

***

 

We were great actors and actresses. We acted sweetly infront of the adults after the talk that night. We pretended to help each other with the house chores, pretended to work on our science projects together, we pretended to like each other. 

 

Dad and Mrs Lee took notice of our sudden 360 degree change, and were very pleased at what they're seeing. The conversations at dinner had become more lively and the air seem to lighten up alot. Of course, these was all, pretend. 

 

The year flew by quickly, everything had not changed except for the fact that this year, i was put in the same homeroom class as Taemin. Suprisingly, it didn't bother me as much as i thought it would. Taemin did not seem to mind either. Strange. 

 

School was pretty much the same. We continued our little act at home and only took off the mask once we're in school, like complete strangers. Taemin carried on with his life with Jiyeon as her boyfriend while i lived mine as her bestfriend. It might sound as if like we're decieving her, but trust me, i wouldn't want to lie to her if i had a choice.

 

But somehow, inbetween all these fakeness, Taemin and i had gotten so comfortable which each other's presence that we forgot that we were supposed to be just acting. He would start asking me questions on homework during  lessons and would give me small smiles from time to time. And each time he did, i would try to ignore but always fail misarably at that. As time passes, i realised he wasn't such a bad guy after all. I found myself getting upset when i know i can't talk to him in school. I felt lonely when 

Taemin is not at home on occassional nights. I hated the fact that i am slowly opening my doors to him but can't do anything bout it. 

 

I would constantly remind myself that we're only doing this all for our parents, nothing more. However all that self reminders would dissapear everytime he flashes that goofy  grin of his. He might not be aware, but his smile can make everything seem alright, even though it isn't. Taemin is everywhere and it is driving me crazy. 

 

 

"So hows it going with you and Jiyeon?" The question popped right out of my lips one night while i was flipping through a magazine on his bed. We were supposidly, 'studying together'. I mentally slapped myself for asking such a question suddenly.

 

"Um..great" He paused, not shifting his gaze away from the computer screen. Taemin hesitated for awhile before continuing, "Nothing special." He was CS-ing. "Why'd you ask?"

 

"Nothing. Just asking." I said sounding as cool as possible and burried my face in the magazine. That was so embarassing.

 

It was that familiar awkward silence again. The last time we had gone through that was when we just started to get close with one another, not used to talking instead

of shouting in each other's faces.

 

A knock on the door saved the whole atmostphere. "Are you kids hungry? I can whip you guys some supper if you want." Mrs Lee asked from outside. 

 

"Its okay Mrs Lee, we're good!" Honestly, my stomach was growling but i wasn't planning on letting Taemin know about my late night hunger issues. We just ate dinner awhile ago. 

 

"When are we going to stop this act?" Taemin spoke half heartedly.

 

"Huh?" I didn't know how or what to reply. Just when i thought we were actually starting to accept each other for real, he had to ruin it. I felt a gust of anger and sadness rise in my body. I wanted to be alone, i could've yelled at him and stomp right out of his room. I did not. 

 

"I think i'm done 'studying' for the night. Its getting late, i better be going back to my room." Was all i said. I held my tears in before getting up from his bed. I guess he sensed that i was upset because he grabbed my hand, demanding to tell him what was wrong before leaving. 

 

A sudden rush of electricity flowed through my arms and slammed agaisnt my heart. His eyes widened, he must've felt it too. We stayed in that position, his hands still holding on to mine. 

 

"I.." It came out as a ter. "I..I'm tired. I'm want to sleep now. Go-good night!" With that, i rushed out of his room. I ran back and leaned agaisnt the inside of my room door, my heart was pounding. I tried to stop it by splashing water on my face, but it only made it worse. 

 

I did not catch any sleep that night. Everything happened in such a blur and it was hard to catch up. We are siblings but what just happened? I squeezed my eyes shut

and screamed into the pillow. 

 

Morning arrived sooner than i thought. I scurried down the stairs, hoping Taemin would still be sleeping. I shoved the toast down my throat as soon as i heard footsteps 

marching down the stairs, i wanted to get out of the house. To avoid him was the best way to escape, or that was what i thought.

 

I intentionally shifted my seat all the way to the front in class, it makes me giddy having to stare at his back all day without having thoughts i shouldn't have on him. Breaks and lunches were the toughest to get through, Jiyeon would occassionaly drag Taemin along to sit with us. And i had to often pretend not to notice him. Maybe, just maybe if there was no Lets-pretend-to-like-each-other plan, things would be different.

 

How long i kept that up? I lost count of it myself, too. 

 

Compressing my feelings was not half as bad, it was the fact that Taemin did not notice my turn of behaviour towards him, tore my heart apart. 

 

***

To my lovely daughter, Hyorin.

 

Mom will be gone visiting some relatives with Taemin's dad in japan over the week. This might take awhile because your uncle is very ill and needs our company. We'll be back as soon as he gets better. Sorry for informing you so suddenly hon, please pass this message to Taemin too. Take care of yourselves and don't stay out too late  at night. I've prepared some Kimchi and side dishes, they are in the fridge, just heat it up when you feel hungry. And here's $400, its for emergency so spent it wisely. 

 

Love, mom.

 

I sighed and placed the note back on the kitchen counter. So that explains why the house is empty.

 

"Hyorin." It was that husky, yet soothing voice i hadn't heard in awhile. 

 

I didn't want to look at him, i didn't want our eyes to meet. Cuz if i did, i was sure i would cry. "Yeah?" I replied as i continued to being busy with where i left off.

 

"We need to talk." He said sternly. 

 

"Talk? We having nothing to talk about."

 

"Its about us."   

 

I was positive my heart skipped a beat. Us? It took him a year to finally get it, twelve freakin months.

 

"Us? What about it?" I faked a smile and played the innocent card. 

 

"What is wrong with you? I thought we were way past the cold shoulders.." Taemin's question hit me. I had no clue why had i acted that way either. "I thought we're

cool with each other now. I thought we're, friends." His voice sounded so sad. 

 

"Friends?" I scoffed. "Sorry to burst your bubble brother, but we we're never friends in the first place. We are only doing this of your mom and my dad." I wished i 

could hug him ever so tightly till we both suffocate to death and tell him, i don't wana just be friends. 

 

I stood firmly on the ground as i watched Taemins hands clutched into a tight fist and he walked closer, and closer. He grabbed my head pushed it near to his, till the  edges of our nose touched. I never noticed how beautiful he looked, his soft brown eyes, his flawless skin, his smooth pale lips, all fits into place. Taemin was close to  perfection, how is it that i called him ugly before.

 

"Tell me" The words came out like an angry whisper as he gritted his teeth. 

 

"Tell you what?" I barely trembled even though i thought i was gona pass out any moment. 

 

"Everything. I want to know why were you acting so strange for the past year, why aren't we talking again." Tear were forming in his eyes. 

 

"I told you already, there is nothing wrong, i'm just acting like how this whole stupid act hasn't started before." I looked away.

 

"You're lying!" Taemin raised his voice. 

 

"Why, what does it concern you anyway!? Why do you care?! Huh? Isn't this what you wanted, to stop acting and go back to our normal selves!" I was on the verge of cracking. I had to let it out. 

 

"I-" He was lost for words

 

"Why do you think i'm acting this way?! You ing theif. You are the liar! Ofcourse, Jiyeon is more important than our stupid agreement!!" Before i knew it, i was bawling like a broken tap. "Ha! Friends. If we were really friends, you would not have popped that question. Have you ever thought of how i felt?! You ruined everyth-"

 

I was cut of before i could finish. I felt Taemin's lips crushing agaisnt mine, his touch was rough yet undeniably soft. Everything around me seemed to be twirling, fading until we were the only ones left. I-

 

"Hyorin" My bestfriend, Yoonhye interrupted.

 

I gave her a look, "Oh would you let me finish?" 

 

"That didn't really happen back in your middle school, right." She said, not in a question form. 

 

"Nope."

 

"I thought so. I knew i read this somewhere before." She clicked her tongue. "Ah- You totally ripped the story from that fanfic! Aish. You need to really get some originality Hyorin ah." 

 

"Yah! I so did not rip it off, i just merely, borrowed it." I defended myself. 

 

"Yea whatever. Taemin would never look at you anyways." Yoonhye half joked. Which i knew clearly how true that is. A guy like Taemin would never give a damn about a nobody like me. 

 

I whacked Yoonhye on the arm and stuck out my tongue, escaping quickly as i know i will be done for if i'm caught. 

 

"YAHHH KIM HYORIN!!!" Was all i heard before i dissapear in the corner. 

 

Panting heavily by the time i got to the front door of my apartment. I look to my both sides to double check to see if there's any sign of that crazy bestfriend of mine. 

 

"Mom! I'm home~" I called out, kicking off my sneakers and shuffling across the floor as i plant my on the couch. The house was filled with a delicious aroma. "Mmm, Beef kimchi stew and teokbokki! My favourites." 

 

Noises of pots and pans clanking agaisnt each other were heard before i was greeted by my mom in an apron and a spatula in her hand. 

 

"Oh Hyorinnie, you're home! Great. We have guests today. Remember Mrs Lee? She will be visiting with her son later this evening. I heard that he's of the same age as you and even goes to your school!" She said all at one go. I could tell that she has been busy in the kitchen for quite awhile now and still have tons of dishes to  complete. Must be an important guest, wonder how long has it been since she made her special gourmet. 

 

"Hurry up and wash yourself up, you're still in your school uniform." She called out from the kitchen. 

 

I was too lazy to move from my comfort spot, that is on the couch and infront of the television. Especially since i've just ran a marathon. "Ahhhh but mom..laterrr" I whined. SHINee's Hello Baby re-run was on and i'm so not gona miss it.

 

"Thats an order!" 

 

"Fine. That beef stew better be worth it." I murmured before grumpily rolling myself off the couch. Unfortunately, it was loud enough for my mom's ultra sensitive ears.

 

"You. Bath. NOW!" She warned.

 

Halfway sleazyly dragging my feet towards the bathroom, the doorbell rang. I growled aloud, now i have to drag myself all the way to the other side of the house again. Who the hell could be here before dinner time?! Then mom's reminder earlier about guests coming flashed out. "Oh" I sighed. 

 

I opened the door, not expecting the last person i would ever thought of appearing at my door step. My eyes widened to its maximum, threatening to pop out any moment. My mom came dashing out from the kitchen, sincerely welcoming Mrs Lee and Taemin in, ushering them to make themselves comfortable while she finished her business in the kitchen. She gave me a look and signaled me to go entertain the family. 

 

Mrs Lee and Taemin stood up and introduced themselves. Mrs Lee shook my hands and gave a heart warming smile before sipping into her tea, while the latter merely stared blankly at my face. 

 

I felt a strong sense dejavu happening. 

 

"Hi." Was all he said, still not changing that cold expression of his. Taemin's stare was not that intimidating, but more of as if he was searching for something, something in me. 

 

"Have we met before?" He asked. I couldn't tell if he was using it as a pick up line or he was sincerely curious.

 

"Well, we might. Its not surprising since we attend the same school, right?" I answered carefully. Or not, he's so popular and all..while i'm just, just a regular invisible student like everybody else.

 

"Oh." 

 

"Well nice to meet you, I'm Taemin. Lee Taemin." 

 

"I know." A smile crept up my face. "Call me Hyorin." 

 

***

 

Posted on, 15.12.2010