“My dearest BoBo told me today that he is in love! I was so happy! He is a 20 years old fine, handsome, very smart and bright boy,  a freshman University student,  yet  never had a girlfriend before.
I was like ‘Finally, thank god, you are finally experiencing the wonderful feeling of love!’
But my happiness was short when he told me that he is actually in love with a memory from his childhood, someone who saved his life when he was only ten years old. 
Huh? Saved his life? After scolding him why he had never told me about it, I asked him to tell me everything in detail.

He was anxious that I'd be upset that the one he is in love with, his savior, is six years older than him.
‘Don’t worry, my sunshine,  six years is not such a huge difference, as long as there is love’, I told him,’but does she love you back?’
‘Actually he doesn’t know about my feelings, maybe doesn’t even remember me. We only met once, that day when I told you that he saved my life, then I have never seen him again. I mean I liked and admired him before , he was a straight A student, the president of the painting club, and leader of many school  clubs, theater, pop band, and many more.
But then he simply vanished in thin air, right the next day I met him. I found out later that he moved away from China, to live with his fatther’s new family  after his parents’ divorce. 

I crooked a smile, trying hard to pretend that my son had just misspelled a ‘she’ into a ‘he’, and told him that it’s not healthy to hold onto an old memory for such a long time, a memory that most probably will never come true. 

My beloved BoBo!
Why are gods so cruel to him? 
Why?!
Why?!
First he lost his mother when he would have needed her the most,  then his father is not a rich powerful man to give him a beautiful life to live and  was not healthy enough to get married again and give him another mother. 
And now this! He will get hatred from the society, he could be abandoned  by friends or even bullied. And on top of that he will never get married to a beautiful woman, he will never have children!
Oh, my sweet, poor BoBo!
Why Gods, why?!”
 

 

                                                                    

 

 

Wang Yibo wiped his teary eyes , closed his father’s diary and let himself drown in memories.

 

 

He remembered first how unexpectedly supportive his father was when he indirectly came out of closet to him. His baba never let him know that he was actually suffering for having a homoual son.
That’s why it’s a huge surprise to him what he has just read in the diary.

Two years have already passed since his beloved father’s passing away after struggling for a long time with a merciless cancer.
For some reason, it was only now when he got his father’s belongings packed in a box, from his working place, and in that box it was his father’s diary, too.

Wang Yibo is now 26 years old, but that day he told his father he is gay is vivid in his memory, even though 6 years have passed already.

Same vivid is the memory of the day he fell in love. He was just a kid, yet he  could never forget him, nor fall in love again with someone else. He tried to have several passing relationship, especially when he was still in college, but he couldn't feel what it was supposed to be the deep feeling of love. He was still holding this consuming love in his heart, even though he was aware that  his savior was now 32 years old, probably not even  liking men, most probably happily married with children.  

 

Yibo laid on his back with his father’s diary resting on his chest, closed his eyes and relived those moments again…for the millionth time…

It was not the first time that little Yibo was bullied by heartless, bad kids from school. They always made fun of him, shouting after him  with insulting names. Reasons why? Firstly because he was a curious kid about everything,  who loved to study, so he earned the ‘nerd’ title really quickly. Then, when it was found out that he was raised only by his father, they started to call him ‘the orphan’, or even a ‘bum’.
But his bullies had never gone before, as far as that December day when they followed him on his way home. He was on the bridge when they kicked him and  pushed him, over the railling, so hard that he almost fell down in the cold, deep river. They got scared and ran away, instead of helping him.
Luckily he was grabbed by his winter coat by a savior angel who popped up out of nowhere  and pulled him back in the last moment.
The angel was no other than the president of the painting club, in some incomprehensible way, because Yibo has never seen him walking on this route. He was not living in Yibo’s  neighboring for sure.

 

The 26 years old Yibo foolishly smiled while murmuring his savior’s single words ever spoken to him, while ruiffling his hair:’  Are you alright, gouzaizai (A/n: it means puppy in Chinese)?’

But his smile faded, slowly, slowly, getting replaced with a firm decision:
His father was right!
He must close this chapter of his life! It’s starting to look like a sick obsession! Time to put it to a stop and build a life! A real one!
A life that his father wished for him and deserved to have after making so many sacrifices to give his son a good life!

And at that moment, pressing the diary against his heart,  Yibo promised to honor the spirit of his father  by fulfilling  his wish to marry a beautiful woman! And give it a try to even have kids, who knows?!
 

 

                                                                   
 

 

 

“I’m leaving now, my five years old son’s getting impatient, he called me ten times already, asking me to help him write the letter to Santa.
I’m so sorry, Yibo, that  you never get free days during the winter holidays.”, said the cashier lady, the shift colleague with Yibo in the subway ticket booth he works in.

“Don’t worry Jiějiě (A/n: Older sister in Chinese), I’m already used to that. Besides, it’s normal for a guy with no family responsibilities to be selected to work during holidays like these.
But that could change  the next winter holidays, who knows?
I  understand that you will still come to work for two more days,  but still I will wish you and your family a Merry Christmas, a happy New Year and a great winter holiday, in advance!”, Yibo smiled at the woman who suddenly halted from getting dressed in her coat.

“Wait, wait! What did you say?
Did I miss something?
What did I miss?
Why would the next winter holidays change?
Santa’s letter can wait for a few more minutes, now tell me everything!
And I mean EVERYTHING! Including the juicy details!”, the middle aged woman shouted enthusiastically, pulling her chair closer to her cashier colleague. 

“Oh, calm down, Jiějiě, don’t get excited for nothing, it’s nothing but a plan, at least for now!
I just decided to get married to a beautiful woman, next year, that’s it!
I haven't  found her, yet, though, but at least I am determined in looking for her.”, Yibo smiled at his colleague, while   cashing the money from the customer from behind the booth’s  glass window.

“What about this one?”, Jiějiě whispered, stabbing Yibo’s ribs with her elbow.
She’s really beautiful, make a move on her! Now!”

“She is too beautiful, and probably too rich for my poor , just look at her expensive fur coat! She probably already has a rich husband or boyfriend.”,Yibo whispered back, while  handing the subway ticket to the beautiful, elegant female customer.

“And why does she take the subway, instead of her rich  boyfriend's Audi?
She is single, Yibo! I can feel it in my bones! Or at least, she had just broken up and now she needs someone to heal her wounded heart!
Yibo, she needs you, go, save her!”, the woman started to shout, while repeatedly poking Yibo’s ribs with her elbow, now that the customer was no longer in front of the booth and couldn’t hear her