Nebula

"Taeminnie, come here."

If he were less exhausted and more awake, Taemin would have picked a fight with Kibum. Yes, Kibum is his hyung and future bandmate and he does lots of nice things for him, but he's also supremely annoying when he's constantly getting in their faces about the silliest things. He trudges over to the narrow balcony where Kibum is standing, already showered and dressed in his usual impractical-for-the-weather circus clown clothes. "What?"

Kibum points at the neighbour's balcony. "There's a flower."

There is. Of the several potted plants on that equally narrow balcony,  one of them has borne a single white blossom. It's so small and unremarkable, and so random a thing, that Taemin can't understand why Kibum called him over with such excitement. "Yeah." 

Kibum claps him on the shoulder. "It means the new year is finally here." 

Technically, the new year began on the 1st of January, but Taemin knows what Kibum means and this morning, he's not catty enough to pretend otherwise.

"Do you think it will be a good year?" 

To be asked that by Kibum, who is both older and smarter than him, is a surprise. There's none of the usual benign condescension in it, and no trace of sarcasm either; it's just a genuine question from one person to another. Jonghyun's answer would be something both wise and poetic. Jinki's would be something practical, or perhaps something encouraging. That Kibum is asking him, instead of those two, feels like a rare honour. "I think... it will be what we make it." It sounds painfully simple to his ears, but Taemin thinks that Kibum's earnestness deserves honesty in return. They've been worked hard this winter, and in the coming weeks they have photoshoots, MV shoots and magazine cover shoots lined up. That they will debut is an inevitability; all that remains to be decided is the actual date. 

"Hmm," says Kibum. "What sort of year do you want to make?"

What does Taemin want? He's often wondered himself, especially these days. They're all already half-famous, at least among the trainees, their schoolmates and the fans of other groups that camp outside the SM building. They are famous enough to have outlandish rumours spreading on Cyworld, like the one about Minho being from a family of mobsters or the one about him being Heechul's sibling. Now that he's met them in person, does he dare to want to be as famous as DBSK? It is not something he can admit aloud to Kibum - not yet, at least - but it is indeed what he prays for every day and night. "The best year." 

*

Narcissus

"Oh, look at that!" 

Taemin peers through the blinds of their practice room, wondering how it is that Kibum has the energy to notice things after such a frustrating session. They've had to restart the song countless times because Minho and Jinki kept screwing up the Japanese lyrics, and then Jonghyun started doing it too, forgetting that some of his lines are now Taemin's. Kibum is the only one who hasn't gotten on his nerves today. 

Outside, the world is drab and grey. 

When he was younger, Taemin used to imagine that Tokyo was the height of modernity, consisting solely of glass-and-steel skyscrapers and endless conveniences designed to evolve humanity into its most efficient form. When they had started touring in Japan and all he saw was stadiums, hotels and local attractions, he had thought of it as a picturesque, almost-too-familiar-to-home type of place. Now that he has to live here, for what is starting to feel like eternity, he finds Tokyo cramped and dull. The streets outside are barely wide enough for two cars to pass side-by-side, and as a consequence it always feels like the buildings on opposite sides of the road are looming over each other. In this particular neighbourhood, time seems to have stopped a good decade before Taemin's birth. It feels like stepping into his grandmother's house; well-kept, but painfully dated. Along the pavement walk people who aren't usually pictured in his favourite anime and manga; office workers of the lower income variety, grim-faced and dressed in ill-fitting suits, truanting teens with cigarettes in their mouths and their shirts untucked, and deliverymen rushing to and fro. 

"Look at the tree," Kibum specifies. 

"What about the tree?" asks Jonghyun, appearing out of nowhere to ruin Taemin's quiet break with Kibum. "Oh, it's flowering." 

Now that Jonghyun has mentioned it, Taemin can see the little buds dotting the still leafless branches of the tree. The year is early, still still cold, so it is an unusual sight. A sudden cold snap could easily kill these flowers-to-be. 

Kibum sighs. "Time goes by so fast."

"Not fast enough," Jonghyun adds. "This day is too long already." 

It's a bit rich of him to complain, Taemin thinks; a thought he keeps to himself. They've all been on edge since moving here to prepare for their Japanese debut. Jinki and Minho are struggling with the language and the food, Jonghyun is terribly homesick and Kibum's moods swing for no discernible reason. Hanging over their heads is the is the awareness that as their preparations drag on with no end in sight, they risk losing their hard-won Korean fanbase. Minho constantly talks about how Lee Soo Man is a genius to market them as DBSK's successors before other groups can take advantage of the split, going so far as to compare their Japanese debut to a prince taking the throne of a conquered kingdom. In his mind, it is beyond question that their fandom will grow, not shrink. Sometimes, Taemin wants to believe him, but sometimes, it seems like they're abandoning a stable kingdom of their own to chase after castles in the air. 

Kibum and Jonghyun bicker good-naturedly about something, and their voices fade into the background as Taemin contemplates the fragile buds outside. 

For all of his complaints and fears, he doesn't mind being here. Their Korean fandom has swelled since the days of Replay, but they're no longer the novelty they once were. Album sales have more or less plateaued, and between Lucifer and Hello the company seems to be creatively exhausted when it comes to their musical direction. Japan represents a new market, like Minho says, and more importantly, to Taemin at least, it represents an avenue for growth. 

After all, Taemin has much, much greater ambitions than wearing pastel colours, singing about noonas and doing aegyo. Like the buds on the tree, he hasn't even started to bloom as an artist. 

*

Rise

"We should do a segment in a park, and use captions to draw a parallel between the blooming flowers and young love blooming between our couple." The head writer for WGM is a bottomless pit of cliched romance tropes; they've been here for hours as she's brought up then dimissed idea after idea after idea. 

Son Naeun's manager is quick to agree, at the same time that Taemin's manager objects. "It depends on the location and timing of the filming, as I have been saying. Unless it can fit into our schedule, we should stick to what has already been scripted and agreed upon." 

Taemin is dying of boredom. He's ceased to care how distinterested he comes off, sprawled in his chair staring at the ceiling, but Son Naeun - still a rookie - keeps glancing at him nervously as if his rudeness will infect the PDs' perception of her. She's not at all the partner he pictured when he signed up for the show. No pain, no gain, he reminds himself. If he wants people to see him as something other than a too-pretty-to-be-a-boy idol, he needs to cut his hair short, go to the gym regularly and participate in scripted nonsense like this with rookies he cannot begin to understand. 

"Can't we fit it into the theme park episode?" his manager asks. 

That draws Taemin's attention. The theme park episode is the one where Kibum and one of the A-pink girls will be guests on the show. It hasn't escaped him that for all of his whinging to have some solo work for himself, now that he has it, he wants nothing more than for Kibum to be on it with him. Kibum made the housewarming episode so easy; his natural wit and intelligence cut their filming time down by half, and it was actually fun to banter with Kibum as opposed to his co-star, who is so concerned about her image that getting her to react to anything is like wringing blood from stone. "Yes, let's do that."

"We have too many things planned for that episode already," the head writer says. 

"Let's do all of them. We can make it a two-parter," Taemin pushes. "It will save time and cost for everyone." 

"Gosh, you are so unromantic," she complains. "Naeunnie, what do you think?" 

"I don't mind," Son Naeun replies. 

Thus cornered, the head writer and PDs turn their attention to scripting the theme park episode. Taemin excuses himself to use the bathroom - in reality a smoke break; it's a habit he picked up during Sherlock promotions and one that isn't as easy to kick as he had assumed - and his manager comes with him. "That Son Naeun is really pretty," he comments, helping Taemin light his cigarette. "Is she your type?" 

"I'd rather marry Kibum." The remark is out of Taemin's mouth before his brain can filter it.

His manager bursts out laughing, slapping his knee as if Taemin has told the joke of the century. It irrirates him somewhat, though he can't figure out why it would. It's only when they return to the conference room and he feels a touch of contempt at the sight of her face that he realises that there had been a grain of truth in his statement. He would be much happier partnered with Kibum on this show. The realisation irritates him even more. Kibum will steal the spotlight from him for the two-parter episode and he will be abejctly grateful for it. 

The year has barely begun and it is already intolerable. 

*

laurë 

The worst of the heat has passed by the time the managers have checked the entire group in, allocated the rooms and arranged their schedules for the next day. The rest of the night is theirs; from tomorrow onwards, it will be the usual mad dance of getting styled, filming, getting re-styled, filming, editing and so on and so forth until their director certifies that he has enough material with which to craft several MVs. But tonight, they are free. 

He's sharing a chalet with Kibum. Memories of their first tour of Japan resurface; at that time, they were still assigned to shared rooms - one of the first things they negotiated for their second tour was single rooms - and he had found himself, to his surprise, favouring Kibum over all other options. Jonghyun had been the worst because of his night owlishness, while Minho drove him up the wall by trying to get him interested in whatever football, softball or other-ball game he's watching. Jinki wasn't bad. Kibum, though, had been fun. He'd slap a mask on, order wine and play music; and not once had he complained about Taemin takking his pick of his masks or demanding particular songs. 

"Ohhhh, Taemin-ah, come and look at this!" 

They haven't even unpacked. Kibum had wandered out into the garden - where they're supposed to have their own private pool - not a minute ago. Bemused, Taemin goes out to him. 

There is indeed a pool. The water looks so cool and tempting; there are a few white flowers and some leaves floating on its surface, and the trees from which these flowers come from is what seems to have caught Kibum's attention. Taemin doesn't know what trees or flowers these are, nor what significance they have to Kibum or whether he just finds them pretty. 

"Are you going to swim?" he asks. 

Kibum ignores his question. He plucks a flower off the tree, sniffs it and tucks it behind his ear. "Frangipani."

"Eh?"

Kibum rolls his eyes. "The flowers. Remember the shower gel you stole? That was the scent." 

He's stolen so many shower gels that he can't remember which particular one Kibum is talking about. There is a vaguely floral scent in the air, but it's overpowered by the smell of chlorine from the pool and he can't link it to any shower gel he's used recently. "I borrowed it," he protests, undaunted by the accusation because he knows very well that he did steal it. "Anyway, it suits you." There's no lie in that statement. Kibum's shimmery green hair is something he can't look away from; sometimes in admiration, sometimes in jealousy. He had preened over his own gradient purple hair until Kibum had turned up with a colour he's never imagined could exist, let alone seen before. 

"You can't flatter your way out of theft," Kibum retorts, but he's so pleased by the compliment that his voice is without its usual bite. 

Taemin manages to retrieve a pair of basketball shorts without unpacking his entire suitcase and jumps into the pool without bothering with sunscreen. The water is, as he had predicted, cool; a relief after from the still-lingering tropical heat. The sky is deeply orange by the time Taemin completes a couple of laps and washes away the stiffness of travel. The scent of flowers is stronger now. 

He closes his eyes and lets himself float. 

Life is good.

Even though SHINee never reached the heights of popularity that DBSK and EXO have, they're winners nonetheless. They've won a great deal of independence for this album - each song on the album had been chosen by the members, as well as the sort of promotions they're going to do - and their concept is something new, something unprecedented. His own solo album had been a runaway success in every metric and SM has promised him a greater budget and greater creative freedom there too. He's already begun work on it. Jonghyun is about to have a solo release too. Kibum is throwing himself into stage work and getting acclaim for it.  They've survived their debut years and the debut of groups more popular than them and not only are they still here, they're thriving as a group and on their own too. 

A splash. 

Taemin is unbothered, confident that the noise is Kibum joining him in the pool. He's proven right when Kibum hisses and says "Why is the water so cold?" 

"It's nice," he replies, dipping underwater to prove his point. 

"You shouldn't be soaking dyed hair in chlorine," Kibum tells him when he comes up. "Your stylist is going to throw a fit tomorrow." 

"When is she not angry at me?" He swims over to where Kibum is, at the shallow end of the pool, and treads water by his side. "It's practically a holiday, chill a bit." 

Kibum scoffs. 

They sit in silence for a while, until Kibum says "If I had my own place-actually, when I have my own place, I'm going to keep frangipanis. The scent is so strong, you wouldn't need any air fresheners or anything." 

"Hmmm." Taemin cracks an eye open, looking at the trees and then Kibum. "If I have my own place, I'd keep you." 

He doesn't know where it came from.

Kibum guffaws. 

There are flowers in the pool. It's too early for flowers in Seoul; here there's nothing but heat and blossoms and Taemin kissing the laugh out of Kibum's mouth and Kibum kissing back. 

Notes: 

Nebula: 2008

Narcissus: 2011

Rise: 2013

laurë: 2015

Well... I'm not sure what to say. I can't say that I thought I'd never write for SHINee again, but I also did not plan a return at this specific point. I guess the best explanation is that Taemin's return gave me feels that I could only cope with by writing. As always, I appreciate your comments on ths.