When Seulgi first met Bae Joohyun, all she could think about was how intimidating she looked. Seulgi couldn't speak for a couple of seconds because she was afraid of embarrassing herself, so her tongue was tied.

 

She raised her head to catch a glimpse and realised how stunning the girl was. Like a Vogue, goddess-type; jaw-dropping, kick-in-the-chest beauty. Seulgi was certain that Joohyun was the kind of girl that great poets and artists obsessed over, the kind that made you lose your mind.

 

She was simply ethereal.

 

Her voice, however, was soft and melodic, not at all what Seulgi was expecting.  

 

“Hello, I'm Bae Joohyun,” she greeted with a bow, peering up at Seulgi with deep, mysterious brown eyes. “Nice to meet you.”

 

It's no surprise Seulgi was unsettled. She was even a little envious of the girl and her effortless allure. Who wouldn’t be?

 

There was a certain magnetism to the other girl, one Seulgi found hard to deny. Her eyes were always drawn toward Joohyun, sometimes without her knowing.

 

Everyone agreed as Joohyun attracted the attention of most people around campus. So, it was hard not to be jealous sometimes.

 

Not that Joohyun cared, as Seulgi came to discover. Despite the adoration and clamour – from guys in particular – Joohyun barely batted an eyelash at them. She stared as they fumbled their way into asking her out and sluggishly squinted as if she was genuinely astonished that they would be interested in her.

 

It made Seulgi exasperated at times. Surely Joohyun couldn’t be that blind in spotting that people were into her?

 

The two were assigned to be university roommates. Seulgi had spent the entire summer before her first year obsessing about her roommate. Everyone said your uni roommate was either your best friend or your worst enemy. It laid the groundwork for the following years.

 

Seulgi only hoped they'd get along. God forbid she had someone she couldn't tolerate. But that was difficult to do, given how well Seulgi flourished with most people. Seulgi never had to go out of her way to attract people's attention. Making friends and being sociable came naturally to her. Others were drawn to her because she was friendly and couldn’t resist her charm.

 

Thus, when Joohyun entered her life, Seulgi was taken aback. Every time she saw the girl, her stomach tightened, and closed up. She believed she had an allergic reaction to something at the time.

 

Seulgi wasn’t the type to linger on her feelings and moments. She lived in the present. She merely assumed that she was afraid of embarrassing herself and making Joohyun consider her a nutcase. Nothing more to it.

 

She didn’t know what it was. Her mind went blank when Joohyun was nearby. She could speak to everyone else just fine. She was still on good terms with her exes and had no problem calling them up from time to time with no shame or regret. What was it about Joohyun in particular that caused her to hesitate?

 

For the first week or two, it was awkward greetings and hesitant speeches. They shuffled past each other in the corridor with polite “excuse me’s” and one-word questions and answers. Seulgi was more preoccupied with becoming familiar with the university and finding her way around campus than to have a proper conversation.

 

But Joohyun was always at the back of her mind.

 

It was mostly down to circumstance that they didn't talk. Seulgi was out, exploring the clubs and attending orientation week. She struck up friendships and received invitations to people’s dorms and - to her astonishment - to their early parties.

 

Meanwhile, Joohyun, from what Seulgi saw of her, stayed mostly indoors. When she did venture out, she stayed near the main university building, inspecting the lecture halls.

 

Seulgi saw her on one occasion coming out of the local shop carrying a bundle of fabric softeners. That was the scent Seulgi couldn't get out of her head whenever she walked past Joohyun. It was clean and reminded her of bathing in a field of lavenders.

 

The library, a relatively new structure, was the other place Joohyun visited. She was rarely seen without a book around their dorm, so it was natural that she would be in the library, usually accompanied by a shorter girl called Wendy.

 

Seulgi had barely entered the library. She studied mostly on her laptop rather than the slow-processing university laptop. She wouldn't be at the top of the class, but she'd pass, and that was all that mattered.

 

Eventually, Seulgi struck up a conversation that was more than mere politeness. Weird thing was that she wasn’t even planning on it. It just happened naturally.

 

She was in the living room, sitting on the couch and talking to her mother on the phone. Her mum liked to call now and then to check up on her.

 

“Make sure you're eating properly. Do you hear me, Seulgi-ah? I don't want you fainting from not eating. And make sure to wear your jacket. You don't want to be catching a cold.”

 

Seulgi rolled her eyes and huffed a laugh. “I will don't worry, Umma.”

 

“Good. We miss you over here. It's a lot quieter, I'll tell you that.”

 

Seulgi's breath caught. “I-I miss you too. . .”

 

Seulgi became choked up when hearing her mum greet her goodbye. She sniffled, feeling the homesickness creep violently upon her. She missed her mum terribly and wished she could get a train home. She still hadn’t become used to not seeing her family every day. Her room felt startlingly empty with her mother calling her for dinner or her brother grinning at her from the doorway. 

 

There was a slight shuffling. The wooden floorboards made it easy to know if someone was there.

 

Seulgi glanced up, hurriedly wiping her face. Joohyun stood with a hesitant expression, as if she didn't know whether to stay or go, a bottle of hot chocolate clutched to her chest. She wore pink furry slippers, causing Seulgi to smile at the sight.

 

“I'm sorry, Seulgi,” said Joohyun softly. “I didn't mean to disturb you. I can go if you want?”

 

Seulgi shook her head, wiping away the last of her tears. As she realised how much of a mess she probably appeared to the other girl, a slow heat crept on her face. She became conscious of the stain on the bottom of her shirt and the state of her hair.

 

“Oh, er, no - it's fine, really. Stay if you want,” she replied, waving her hands in a no manner. Her eyes fell to the bottle. “Are you making hot chocolate?”

 

Joohyun nodded as she stared at her. “Yeah.” She bit her lip then, “Would you like a cup? I find that it lifts the mood.”

 

Seulgi blinked, surprised. “Oh. . .” she said as Joohyun fidgeted nervously. Cute, she thought. “Yeah, I-I would love some. Thank you.”

 

Joohyun smiled shyly, with full teeth and a glimmer in her eyes, and Seulgi wouldn't admit it then, but her breath hitched and her chest warmed pleasantly.

 

After that, it seemed like an uncontrollable connection formed between the two of them. Their friendship was smooth going.

 

Seulgi texted Joohyun most of the time. When her attention waned during a professor’s lecture, she'd whip her phone out under the table. Her texts asked questions most of the time:

 

“Want me to grab you a coffee?”

“When are you having lunch?”

“How is your day going?”

"When are you coming home and do you have your key?"

 

Joohyun’s replies were short and clipped. Though it sometimes took a while for her to answer, Joohyun made her reply to every sentence, which pleased Seulgi immensely.

 

Joohyun studied Literature and wanted to become an Editor; her favourite colour was purple; she didn't like coffee and only ate vegetables in a bowl of soup. But the weird thing Seulgi discovered was that she didn't like eating chicken because she got sick when she was young.

 

“You do realise how weird that sounds, right?” asked Seulgi, a look of disbelief on her face.

 

“How is it weird?” demanded Joohyun, rolling her eyes at the hundredth time Seulgi asked her that. “I don’t like chicken. What’s the big deal?”

 

“Who doesn’t like chicken? An insane person. It’s just so weird.”

 

Joohyun narrowed her eyes, lightly smacking her arm. “Oh, as weird as your pringles obsession, I suppose. Honestly, I saw a horde of them in your room, Seulgi. You can’t seriously live like that.”

 

Seulgi laughed in delight at her twisted expression. It was always fun winding up Joohyun.

 

Seulgi, however, studied Business Administration; her favourite number was 20 because it looked very pretty; she sometimes drew in her spare time; she also played the guitar, much to Joohyun’s rapture, who insisted she plays her a piece.  Seulgi couldn’t refuse, especially after the pout Joohyun threw at her.

 

“Wow, you’re so talented, Seulgi,” said Joohyun with wide-eyed admiration after Seulgi had strummed the last note.

 

Seulgi looked away, rubbing the back of her neck. “Thanks, Hyun.”

 

Joohyun became quiet and closed . “Hyun?” she asked curiously.

 

Seulgi cringed mentally. It seemed moved faster than her brain. “Sorry, slip of the tongue. I meant Joohyun.”

 

Joohyun shook her head with a shy smile and gently grabbed her wrist. “No, no. I liked it. You can call me Hyun, but only if I can call you Seul.”

 

Seulgi agreed. And if her wrist, the part where Joohyun touched, tingled afterwards, well, that was between her and a higher power. 

 

Some nights, after coming back from their lectures, Seulgi would cook and other times Joohyun. Each became familiar with the other’s eating habits and dietary requirements. 

 

They also enjoyed watching films together while curled up on the one sofa with Seulgi's teeny laptop propped up atop a pile of books. Joohyun would force Seulgi to sit through Dear John or the Notebook. Both had cups of hot chocolate grasped in her hands, which seemed to have become their signature drink. 

 

Quite early on, Seulgi discovered that Joohyun made the best horror film buddy if only for her golden facial expressions. Joohyun was less than pleased to watch it, of course, but after much pleading from Seulgi she gave in. She screamed when the scary parts had barely begun - fiercely clinging to Seulgi’s arm for dear life - and anything set her off.

 

Seulgi found herself watching Joohyun rather than the film.

 

Seulgi also found herself doing things she normally wouldn’t do. She’d read a book simply because Joohyun recommended it and found she enjoyed it. She even went and sat with her in the library because she liked Joohyun’s company.

 

So, it was safe to say, Seulgi’s never had a friend like Joohyun before. Despite her cold aura, she was always warm, always comforting, heating Seulgi from the inside and leaving a pleasant ache in her chest.

 

But most of all, Seulgi felt as if Joohyun understood her deep inside. She knew what Seulgi was thinking before she knew it herself. She could sense her moods and made Seulgi feel refreshed within her soul. Seulgi was glad and lucky that Joohyun came into her life and hoped with all her heart that she'd stay there indefinitely.

It was Joohyun's nature to be studious. She always seemed to be in a trance every time an assignment was due, or a test rolled around. Joohyun would barely eat apart from energy bars. All that existed for her at that moment was the essay, everything else was tuned out.

 

It worried Seulgi that Joohyun would put her health aside for a stupid essay.

 

One day, in mid-November - when the sky turned dark early - Seulgi came home to her dorm after her late afternoon lecture to find Joohyun on the kitchen table cramming for a test. The room was dark, and the curtains closed.  

 

Seulgi took in Joohyun's appearance fully: her face seemed extra pale in the soft light coming from the lamp on the table, and there were papers scattered on every available surface within arms’ reach. A notebook crowded with ink lay in front.

 

Joohyun was asleep, her head resting on the desk and her pen still gripped in her hand. 

 

“Hyun,” she whispered, her heart clenching at the sight of Joohyun scrunching her nose. But Joohyun slept on. She was too tired to even comprehend Seulgi being there.

 

Seulgi sighed and moved closer, making sure not to bump into anything that could accidentally wake up the other girl. She stood in front, then carefully removed the pen from Joohyun’s grip, which was surprisingly strong for a girl who looked delicate.

 

“Come on, Hyun,” she murmured. “That’s enough studying for today. Let’s get you to bed.”

 

Joohyun didn’t protest. How could she? She was fast asleep, dead to her surroundings. If it wasn’t for the gradual rising and falling of her chest Seulgi would assume she was dead.

 

It was times like this that Seulgi was grateful for her upper strength. Her toned arms were more than capable of lifting Joohyun into them and carrying her to bed. Joohyun rested her head on Seulgi’s shoulder - probably thinking of her as a soft pillow - and dozed away. Joohyun’s chin lay on Seulgi’s shoulder, and she lightly snored into her ear.

 

Joohyun smiled and nuzzled Seulgi more deeply, her breath touching the side of her neck. In sudden amazement at the hot breath, Seulgi nearly fell, but she swiftly righted herself, lightly cursing. A tiny shiver ran down her spine.

 

She went to Joohyun’s room and placed Joohyun gently in her bed as if she were as fragile as porcelain. Seulgi tucked her in, putting her in the corner padded with pillows she usually slept on.

 

Seulgi watched as the girl her side peacefully. The crease on Joohyun's brow made Seulgi huff with laughter. Even asleep, Joohyun looked like she was in charge. It was an aura she inhibited, which caused Seulgi to be intimidated at first.

 

“Why can’t you look after yourself more, Hyun?” she asked quietly, thankful the other girl was asleep.

 

Joohyun muttered dreamily in her sleep. Seulgi looked down at the peaceful, content look on her roommate’s face and felt her heart stop for a moment. Something rose within her, a surge of emotions.

 

A feeling that was hard to brush off, even for Seulgi, who was a master at ignoring her emotions. This was too strong to overlook. 

 

Seulgi, for a moment, felt a stake of fear pierce through her heart; she didn’t know what it would lead to and what would happen because of it. For a moment, she sort of wished that she didn’t feel the way she did.

 

She looked away and was about to walk out of the room when a smooth hand grabbed her wrist, halting her on the spot. Seulgi swallowed and looked down. Joohyun’s eyes squinted blearily up at her.

 

“Seul. . .” she slurred. “Stay. . . please.”

 

Seulgi sighed, a sense of resignation washing over her. Like always, she couldn’t deny Joohyun anything.

 

“Okay, Hyun. I’ll stay just this once.”

 

Joohyun smiled in satisfaction and then closed her eyes.

 

Seulgi also had manic, obsessive episodes as well. Hers, however, were more physical. She worked out at the gym and did some boxing. Often, she’d box for so long that her knuckles turned red and the flesh would scrap off.

 

She couldn’t help it. It made her feel in control and allowed her to tune out her mind at the same time.

 

Joohyun would pursue her lips and her eyes flashed when they settled on Seulgi’s fingers. She'd grumble under her breath and force Seulgi into a chair so she could clean it.

 

So, Seulgi eased off on the punches to help Joohyun relax and remove the worried look from her face.

 

But then Seulgi would come home with aching limbs after driving her body to the point of exhaustion. She threw her bag on the floor and slumped into the uncomfortable sofa, face first into a pillow, too exhausted to even walk to her room. As soon as she closed her eyes, she was gone.

 

When Seulgi awoke the next morning, she felt a heavy covering across her body as the golden light of dawn filte