the whole school sees bae joohyun as confident; it's a well-worn mask. she walks in the halls with her head held high, shoulders are drawn back. she makes eye contact with anyone who approaches her. when she speaks she only says things that need to be said, she doesn't ramble unnecessarily. she's not stuck up like some people would like to say, it would be dismissive of her great personality. she smiles and compliments people to break the ice, and she cares for everyone even the ones that wronged her. jealousy is a disease that follows her around, people pay attention to her because of her looks, and her family. she knows what's going on, but you never really can tell if she does. students whisper behind her back asking each other if she knows what people say about her, what they call her. she doesn't let it bother her, she moves on from those comments like they are nothing. that's what the students see when they look at her. the only person who really knows her is seulgi.

seulgi's always besides joohyun. she's more of a friendly face than joohyun, and welcomes all with wide smiles. people question why would someone as nice as seulgi would date someone as curt as joohyun but they are inseparable. they walk through school holding hands and some even would call them couple goals to the dismay of others. seulgi has a lot of other friends but none of them can say they hung out with her outside of the school. she's private, you can know her for years and still, she'd only tell you what she wants you to know. the smile always fools you that you know her. she's active, she's in the photography club, art club, and a member of school's soccer team, joohyun always comes to her games to cheer her on.

no one knows the story of how they met but it happened when they were little, joohyun being ten and seulgi nine. both were chosen to present essays they wrote for a contest, having done an exceptional job at writing. seulgi read hers easily, not really caring about the whole thing. her parents filmed her 'performance' on a video camera and gave her a standing ovation when she was done. she even did a v-sign for the camera.

joohyun was another story. right from the start, she was nervous. as she waited for her turn all kinds of thoughts were running through her head. she knew no one came to cheer her on, she was alone there. she felt weak and sick when they called her name. she stood with shaking legs as her, barely there, voice made noise. her arms were numb, pins and needles were going down her hands and her heart was beating way too fast. she felt everyone's eyes on her as if they were heat lasers, her skin flushed deep red. she couldn't finish, she just couldn't do it. she felt the urge to run away from there, to hide somewhere where no one could find her. she couldn't see her essay through the tears in her eyes. it's like her body separated from her mind. she wanted to complete the task, read the essay and receive her award but she just couldn't no matter how much she tried. she didn't know what was wrong with her. she burst into tears and gathered all her strength to leave the stage in hurry.

seulgi was curious as a child, she always experimented with things, went where she shouldn't, and did things her mother told her not to do. like talking with strangers, petting stray dogs, and climbing high places. she - being herself - followed joohyun as she ran. she watched her crawl under a table and curl up in a ball so she was not seen. acting as if joohyun was a cat - she had experience with cats because her family owned two - seulgi slowly walked over and crouched down, staring at quietly sobbing joohyun. seulgi blinked at her, wondering what was she crying for. she shuffled closer, and sat besides her, their eye contact never breaking. joohyun sniffed and seulgi without thinking, on an instinct, took her hand in hers. she held her hand while joohyun cried, while adults were searching for them, while they sat in the dark. never once she made fun of the way joohyun was behaving, all she did was sit silently in comfort and offered her strength to joohyun, who never had that happen before. it's like they were suddenly both fluent in the same language, that only the two of them knew. they didn't need to speak a word, they understood each other. seulgi didn't want to fix her per se, she wanted her to be better whatever that meant. if sitting down with her helped then that's what she was going to do.

joohyun's parents were demanding, they wanted a perfect child, one that seemed more like an adult than a kid, if they couldn't have that they didn't want a child at all. she had to be perfect at studies, perfect in behavior, perfect in afterschool activities. she wasn't. she got scolded a lot, given a cold shoulder. she felt as if she didn't have anyone in her corner, everyone was mean and angry. and now here sat seulgi with a kind face, held her hand while she was scared and waited until she calmed down. she didn't want to let go of that, ever. so she simply didn't. she stuck to seulgi like glue and seulgi just rolled with it. she didn't mind joohyun's presence at all, the girl was cute.

it was the beginning of their love story, seulgi would say. she would tease joohyun that the moment she saw her there under the table was the moment she fell for her; when in actuality joohyun was the first one to fall. years after, when they were older and a lot closer to each other than before, it scared her to death that she would lose seulgi because of her feelings but they were so strong she couldn't not do anything. she prayed their friendship was strong enough to withhold the rejection if it were to come.

she and seulgi were at the playground - they hung out there a lot back then - passing time by the swings. joohyun kept glancing at seulgi, hypnotized by her beauty. seulgi was talking, complaining about one thing or another; joohyun wasn't listening at all. it was evening and it was about the time they went home, but they stayed a little bit longer. warm summer's wind blew, moved the swings they were sitting on. in her head joohyun could only think about the feelings she was hiding. she didn't want to be only her friend anymore. seulgi was her safe space, she always sat with her during her 'episodes' as her mother called them. she was always gentle and welcoming with her, she loved her more than the world itself. she was the most important person in her life and seulgi needed to know that no matter what. she deserved to know that she's loved like that, that she's important.

"seulgi, i love you," joohyun had blurted out, stopping seulgi in her rant. "i'm in love with you." she felt like she could tell seulgi everything, but she didn't know if she could tell her this.

seulgi stayed quiet for a moment. seulgi was only fifteen, joohyun wondered if it was too soon for these kinds of words for them. maybe she should've waited until they were older. she waited with a bated breath, it was the scariest seconds joohyun experienced in her life and she was afraid of basically everything.

"i like when you're around, i like looking at you and i like holding your hand." seulgi said. "i think i love you too."

they started dating. just like that. nothing really changed, they only started being even closer than before if that were even possible. joohyun grew bolder in her touches, wherein before she would hesitate to link arms with seulgi, she would attach her whole side to her now. joohyun also liked playing with seulgi's thick hair and it always made seulgi sleepy.

they had their first kiss a month into dating. they were having a sleepover; they were having a lot of those. seulgi started acting strange. she would pace the floor, crack her knuckles (despite joohyun telling her to stop), and avoid eye contact with joohyun. joohyun was afraid something bad happened, that maybe seulgi wanted to break up with her, and didn't know how maybe she grew tired of her. her tendency to overthink really didn't do her any favors. it ended up being none of the things she thought about - with a shaky voice seulgi asked if she could kiss her. she said she always saw couples kissing at school and wondered if they could start doing it too. it was the first kiss for both of them. seulgi had cupped her cheeks and leaned down, pressing her lips against joohyun's. they kissed for a moment, not going any further than awkward mouth movements. it was innocent for a kiss, both pulled away all giggly and blushy.

dating seulgi didn't diminish the want in joohyun to please her parents, however. she still wanted to be a daughter they'd accept and love. she started eyeing the debate club flyer looking for new members. she knew her condition wouldn't really allow her to be good at it, but she had seulgi now and with seulgi everything is possible. she can't be scared of everything all the time, she had to step up at some point, right?

"i think you should do it." seulgi said right into her ear, appearing behind her. joohyun startled. seulgi wrapped one arm around joohyun's waist as they both looked at the flyer.

"i don't think i can."

"i'll be there for you." seulgi brushed joohyun's hair aside so it won't tickle her face.

joohyun took a moment to think, "you think i can do this?"

"worst-case scenario - we'll our wounds and heal."

it didn't go like joohyun thought it would. she did a