It was a long day and the first thing that Chaeyoung did when she finally got home and lay down her body on her bed was to sigh.

She doesn’t have any energy to cook for dinner, nor to even change her clothes because again, it was a long day.

She stared at her ceiling and wondered what went wrong, where did she lack of, or why is she feeling that way.

She sure knows that she gave everything she can, figuratively and literally, so she doesn’t really think that she deserves a break up.

On that night, she sighed for the second time.

When she glanced at her study table, the left side of her bed, her clock shows that it’s 12 minutes past 9 already.

She didn’t bother to have dinner with the girl already because she has been feeling strange about her in the past few weeks and she somehow expected the reason why she wants to meet a while ago.

If she were to be asked in her situation a while ago before going to the said location, she could say that she is not nervous at all, nor expecting anything, yet right after the meeting, she suddenly felt empty.

Third sigh for the night before she glanced at the open window of her bedroom and the wind blows in her direction. She saw the bright moon shining in her whole bedroom and if it’s an ordinary night, she would gladly take a picture of it, even appreciate how amazing it is. Yet, it’s not an ordinary one, and therefore, it feels like just a background to what she is currently feeling.

What she is currently feeling, even? Fourth sigh.

“Why?”

She stared at the ceiling once again, not feeling her limbs already and her legs spread all over the bed. She doesn’t want to feel anything at all at that moment.

“I gave you everything… Everything, Mina… Yet you’re still the one who asked to break up”

The current atmosphere won’t do, so Chaeyoung pulled herself up, brought her wallet and keys, and went straight to the bar nearest to her unit.

Once she arrived, she ordered the strongest liquor the bar could offer to their customers and decided to sit in an empty area away from the crowd.

The first sip of the alcohol and she can already feel how it can kick all of her internal organs which is a good thing for Chaeyoung as she feels she can now compose her thoughts and deal with her feelings.

“You give me hope—the strength, the will to keep on”

She recalled Mina’s exact words on their 100^th day as a couple. Thinking about it now, she just thinks it’s bull, but she has a point.

They have known each other for a decade before they figured out their feelings for each other and she can remember how she’s always the one to cheer her up on bad days and the only one who stays just so she won’t feel alone.

She was always the one who gives her motivating words, being with her all throughout her journey, and never leaving her side in all circumstances.

“You’re the only one that can bring out all the best I can do and make me feel real good inside”

She continued on the 300^th day and Chaeyoung just said the same thing.

It’s true, they do bring out the best in each other as they already know one another’s strengths and weaknesses so they basically got each other’s backs.

When Mina wins in competitions, Chaeyoung will always give her a bouquet and a genuine congratulations. When Chaeyoung gains recognitions, Mina will always be the first one to recognize her hardwork and passion in her works.

At times, when they realize they’ve been celebrating a lot in life with one another, they wholeheartedly become grateful that they have each other because it has been a stressful and a rollercoaster ride in life, yet they’re still surviving every bit of it because they have each other.

That moment that it hits them that it’s okay if they experience bad times because they know they will laugh the second after as Chaeyoung is there to hold Mina’s hand or Mina’s there to say Chaeyoung did her best and it’s okay to fail sometimes.

Those little yet meaningful things can already be appreciated by Chaeyoung and it’s just one of the reasons why she’s thankful.

“You pushed me up when I'm about to give up, you're on my side when no one seems to listen”

Mina said on their 600^th day and that just proves that Chaeyoung is a good listener. Whatever rant Mina has in life, may it be the broken rice cooker, the hole in her socks, her missing earphone bean sprout, her missed activity, the bus that made her run for her life, and so much more.

And it’s not just about her daily rants, but the way she complains about how unfair life is that she needs to experience not having supportive parents nor have great friends beside her. Whenever she breaks down and thought of just giving everything up, Chaeyoung will always come to the scene like a superhero without a cape and suddenly everything will be okay again.

Chaeyoung’s presence gives so much comfort to her that Mina just want to stay with her until she can.

“I’m with you through all the way, Mina. Those years we were together, friends or lovers, I was there to support you, to give everything you need because I know how worthy you are as a person. Yet, I didn’t even realize I was building you not for myself, but for another person”

She recalled her thoughts hours ago during the break up. Her own words are the ones who want to swallow her whole, the reason why she gulped the alcohol in her glass in one go. Bottoms up. She screamed loud and continued battling with her feelings and thoughts.

She was right, though.

She was there to hold Mina’s hand, to hug her, to tell her everything’s okay, to comfort her, to assure her that she will never be alone. She was literally the one who filled the emptiness in Mina that she just realized she’s slowly emptying herself for her, and just to see her love another person more than her.

“It's your smile, your face, your lips that I miss, those sweet little eyes that stare at me. I miss all of those, my Minari. But you’re not mine anymore”

Chaeyoung said in a gibberish way while staring at the wild crowd. The liquor sure is the strongest among all the alcohol she drank in her whole life because it made her want to question her life decisions, most particularly, ask herself if Mina really is a worthy person of her.

“Goddamn it. I was so ready to risk it all, to give everything just so you can be happy, yet you still chose to love another person than me. . It hurts so much seeing you so confident that you’re already in love with someone else when I was the one who’s there with you since day zero”

Her tears then started falling down on her face and she can’t help but let it be.

“I love you. I love you the most. You were the only person I want to keep spending my days, but you hurt me. You hurt me a lot, but I still feel okay with it because I know you’ll be happy, even if it’s not because of me. I have a lot of questions, but you don’t have time for me anymore and it’s okay.”

She pants. She keeps on ranting while crying, probably the reason why she is running out of breath.

“This is the most cliché that happened in my life, but I can still say this is the best one. I love you, Mina, even if you don’t feel the same way anymore”

She stopped recording herself while crying and clicked the send button to Mina. She doesn’t even know her exact reason why she did that, when she will most likely regret about it, but she doesn’t care, as long as she eventually expressed herself, her pain she felt when the love of her life walked away for someone else.

Chaeyoung is the one that fills the emptiness in Mina, yet the latter still chose not to be with her until the end, but it’s okay, Chaeyoung understands, after all, she’s with Mina through all the way.