The crack of the door echoed throughout the ballroom right as Jackson stepped in from backstage. There was a floral scent in the air and it didn’t belong to either Jaebeom or Jinyoung. He checked his phone again before looking at them. They both had a peculiar look on their faces, something akin to shock or surprise.

“No one’s come in here, right?” He asked, mostly to confirm you hadn’t been in yet.

“Wow,” Jaebeom whispered in wonder.

His question pulled them out of their stupor. Jinyoung him. “You invited her here?”

“Her?” Jackson’s eyes widened. “Did I miss her?” Over Jinyoung’s shoulder, he spotted a black lanyard on the carpet, plastic catching the lights overhead. “_____.” He pushed past them and picked it up.

“Why in the hell would you invite her here?” Jinyoung continued, voice rising with each word. He turned to Jaebeom and tapped his arm. “Didn’t you talk to him? I thought you talked to him. I thought this wasn’t an issue anymore.”

Jaebeom covered his face with his hand. “About that…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Jinyoung spun away with a pained grimace. “You two, I swear.” As Jinyoung pulled at his hair with a loud groan, Jackson briefly felt guilty. He hated when anyone came between them, disrupting their peaceful dynamic, but it was worse when it was another member. Family was everything to him. The group was everything to him.

But where did that leave you?

“I just wanted to meet her once. That’s it.” Jackson held the badge to his heart and looked towards the door. It’d be too risky to go after you. Maybe— He pulled up your contact and dialed your number. 

“What are you doing?” Jinyoung peeked at Jackson’s phone and swore. “Are you insane?”

It rang and rang. “Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.” Why would you leave without speaking to him? Did you change your mind? Did seeing everything make it too real, too much to deal with? Were you not okay with the situation? Were you not okay with him? Your voice broke through, but it was the voicemail. He tried again, but this time it rang once before going to voicemail. “.”

“Jackson,” Jinyoung reached for the phone, but Jackson twirled away. “You’re going to ruin this for the rest of us! If they catch you talking to this woman, we’ll all go down with you. Is that what you want? All of us having to hire lawyers to go to court to try to defend ourselves because you can’t think straight?”

“I am thinking straight. If this was so bad, why isn’t he,” Jackson pointed at Jaebeom, “trying to stop me? Huh?” Jinyoung looked back at Jaebeom who was watching them, looking as tired as he felt. As Jackson said, he stayed put and watched them struggle.

“What - why?” Jinyoung continued to reach for the phone with little success against Jackson’s energy. “Get over here!”

Jaebeom closed his eyes and let out a huff. “Jin, if he meets her, he’ll stop.” He shrugged as his gaze fell to the floor between them. “If it’s just once, then what’s the harm?”

“You know it won’t be just once!” Jinyoung gave up and turned to Jaebeom fully, face twisted in confusion and annoyance. “And once is all it takes for this,” he gestured at the ballroom they stood in, “to disappear.”

Jackson quickly typed out a message:

[Jackson]:  _____? Please come back. Give me a chance to explain.

[Jackson]: Please.

[Jackson]: I want to apologize face to face.

“Does none of this bother you?” Jaebeom asked, lifting his gaze slowly until he was looking Jinyoung in the eyes. “A soulmate is a big thing. This whole thing is wrong, but we’re doing it. Why?”

“We’re increasing our fanbase and reinforcing our bond with the fans we already have!” Jinyoung whisper yelled. “You sat in on those meetings just like I did. You know why we’re doing this, so why are you asking this now?”

“Because,” Jaebeom glanced at Jackson, who was staring at his phone with a frown, “I think I’ve had a change of heart.”

“Are you ing kidding me? Now? Now? We have hundreds of fans in the next room and suddenly you have a conscience? Where was that when you signed the contract? Him included! We all knew what we were doing when we said yes to this . Now isn’t the time to change your mind!”

“I know that!” Jaebeom yelled, then lowered his voice. “I know that, Jin. I wanted to say something just now. I just don’t know what I should say. You’re right. He’s right. Hell, even she’s right!”

“Who’s right?” A voice called out from behind them. They turned to find the other members except for Youngjae coming in. BamBam stepped up to Jaebeom and Jinyoung, waiting for an answer.

“Our ‘soulmate.’ She came here because Jackson invited her.” Jinyoung glared at Jackson.

As if on cue, Jackson’s phone chirped, signaling an incoming message:

[💚Soulmate💚]: I don’t think that’s a good idea.

[💚Soulmate💚]: Jinyoung made it clear I wasn’t welcome.

“What?” Jackson stared at your words, reading them over and over until it clicked. “What did you say to her?”

Jinyoung turned to Jackson. “Does it matter? She’s not coming back, right?”

Yugyeom went to Jackson’s side and looked at the screen. “It doesn’t seem like it.” He put an arm around Jackson’s shoulders. “After all of that hard work you put into convincing her to come.” Though his words alone could have been mistaken for sarcasm, the look of sorrow in his eyes was sincere. “I was hoping I’d get a chance to see her, maybe say hi.”

“A chance to see—” Jinyoung did a double-take. “You knew about this?”

Yugyeom nodded with a smirk. “Yep. Didn’t you notice how nice he’s been to me?”

Jackson’s mouth dropped open though his eyes never left his phone. “I’m always nice to you.”

“Hm, nicer then. He’s been nicer to me.” He shrugged.

“I thought something was up,” Mark said. “I didn’t think much of it since you two are always up to something.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yugyeom tilted his head to the side.

“That’s beside the point.” BamBam shook his head. “Dude, you’re still talking to her? I thought that stopped.”

“As did I.” Jinyoung crossed his arms. “And Jaebeom’s okay with this.”

“What?” Mark looked between Jinyoung and Jaebeom. “How can you say nothing? We all would be in trouble if he’s caught!”

“Who’s getting caught?” Youngjae asked as he took a spot next to Mark.

“Jackson. He’s still talking to that girl.” Jinyoung supplied.

“What. Did. You. Say.” Jackson gritted out. “She’s not responding to me. She never ignores me.”

“It doesn’t matter what I said! As long as she leaves you alone, then everything’s fine.”

“Everything isn’t fine! You’re being a narrow-minded jerk.” Jackson took a step towards Jinyoung, and Yugyeom shifted into a defensive stance, ready to intervene. “While the jerk part is like you, the narrow-mindedness isn’t. You won’t even hear me out!”

“Because this is ridiculous. You know what will happen if anyone besides us finds out what you’re doing! We have too much at stake to let some random outside person get close. You’re always doing dumb like this.”

“Guys, come on. Let’s calm down for a second.” BamBam moved in between the two. Jaebeom moved with him but took an extra step back so that he stood next to Jackson and Yugyeom. “W-what? Hyung, what are you doing?”

Jaebeom pressed his lips into a thin line. “If it were me, I’d want the chance to explain things to my soulmate. These things aren’t cheap. And…” He sighed, “what kind of leader would I be if I condoned lying to the one person meant for me? There should have been a clause in the contract for situations like this. Like a nondisclosure agreement or something.”

“I agree!” Yugyeom piped in. “I know we agreed to do this, but I don’t think any of us really thought about it. What if your soulmate has cancer and is dying? Why can’t we spend what little time they do have with them? Why assume we’d automatically want to date or be romantic with them? No one said soulmates have to be intimate and stuff.” Yugyeom looked down at his feet as he tugged on his sleeves. “I-I’d want to at least meet them and see what they’re like.” He looked at BamBam then Youngjae. “I think Jackson’s really cool right now. He’s standing up for her. Nothing may come of it, but he’s treating her like a human being and not a nuisance. I’d like to think I’d do the same.”

Silence settled over them. The line was clearly drawn between them.

Until Jackson broke it.

“For the last time, what did you say?” Jackson asked. The fury had lessened, but the pain was still there.

Jinyoung visibly deflated. “I don’t remember, exactly. I was angry and…” His words died off. He cleared his throat and spoke a little louder. “I called her a saesang and kind of accused her of being after your money and status.”

“Hyung!” Yugyeom locked his arms around Jackson and hauled him back behind Jaebeom.

“Why would you do that? Why would you insult her like that? She’s done nothing wrong. If anything, you should be insulting me and saying like that to me! Not her. She doesn’t deserve it. You know nothing about her. You don’t know what she goes through—”

“Jackson.” Yugyeom called out to him, trying to get through to him. “Jackson, man. Calm down. You’re shouting. Someone might hear you.”

“We should go backstage,” Youngjae said as he bit on his thumbnail. “We need to finish getting ready.”

“You don’t know her!” Jackson’s voice drowned out whatever Mark had to say. Jinyoung’s gaze fell to the floor in front of his feet.

“I know I don’t, but that doesn’t mean that you do.”

“At least I’m trying to.” Jackson spat, no longer resisting against Yugyeom’s hold. “What’s gotten into you? What’s made you be so damn unreasonable?”

Jinyoung didn’t look at him, and for a minute, Jackson didn’t think he’d get a response. It wasn’t until Jaebeom and Yugyeom had guided him back to the dressing room that he heard Jinyoung’s response. “I’m just doing what we’re supposed to.”

Jackson scoffed but kept moving forward. “You know, what you’re supposed to do isn’t always the right thing to do.”

Jackson kept calling. Over and over hoping you’d pick up. By midnight, he gave up. It wasn’t likely you’d answer past midnight. He only hoped you were able to get to sleep. His imagination ran away with him as he laid in his hotel bed. There was another meet the next day, so he still had time to try to win you over. But it wasn’t much given how packed the schedule was.

“Still up?”

In the darkness, he could barely make out the faint glow of Youngjae’s phone in the other bed. He was usually the last to go to sleep. “Yeah.”

“Thinking about her?”

Jackson bit back the automatic reply. Did Youngjae really care? He shook his head at the thought. Of course, he did. Maybe not about you in particular, but rather Jackson’s feelings. “Yeah.”

“Don’t worry too much.” The covers shifted loudly in the silent room as Youngjae rolled over to face him. “She’ll come around. Give her some time.”

“But I don’t have time,” Jackson barely let him get the sentence out. “We’re only in town for a few days.”

“What could you possibly offer her?” His words were softened by his understanding tone. “It isn’t like you have that many options.”

“But I want to get to know her! I want to show her the world and my favorite places and food and—”

“But you can’t.” Youngjae sat up. “You can’t do any of that. We have schedules and stuff. You’ll get in trouble and what if you’re caught with her? What if the label finds out? What if the staff tells on you?”

“It’s not fair. Why would I be given the opportunity to meet my soulmate and be unable to do anything about it?”

“Because she isn’t just ‘your’ soulmate. We’re all synced to her. If it’s a fluke, then you’re risking everything for nothing.” He paused, “I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but you should let it go.”

“No!” Jackson sat up and faced Youngjae who flopped back down on his own bed. “I won’t! I refuse to let it end like this. Jin-hyung said mean things and I should apologize for them. If we’re really not soulmates, if I never see or speak to her again, she at least deserves an apology.”

“Okay, but how will you do that if she isn’t speaking to you?” Youngjae picked up his phone. “She needs some time to cool off.”

Jackson hated to admit he was right. Though time was a precious commodity, he’d have to sacrifice it for her. He laid back down, rolling over to look out the window next to his bed. He searched the stars, straining to see them through the thick cloud coverage overhead. Yet, he somehow still found his special purple star. A whim struck him and he tightly closed his eyes, mentally making a wish as he poured all of his hope into the plea. When he was done, he picked up his phone and stared at your last message.

He’d try again.

Instead of typing out another lengthy apology, he tapped the record audio icon. “Hey, _____.” He swallowed hard and shut his eyes as he organized his thoughts. “I understand that you’re upset with him, with me. I’ll respect your decision if you choose to stop talking to me. It’ll hurt, but I’ll give you space. But, please, let me apologize to you in person. I hate that he got to meet you and I didn’t, that he gave you the complete opposite reception I would have. You’ve got to know that. I thought I was protecting you by not telling you how the others felt about the situation and that was wrong.” He exhaled hard. “So, maybe we could meet somewhere public, like a Starbucks or something. Give me the chance to leave you with a better impression and memory. Please?”

He ended the recording and sent the message along with an emoji: 🙏

“You have your dad’s temper, I swear.” Kristen jabbed her milkshake with her straw with a frown. You choked on your own drink and she looked up. “I can see being pissy at that one guy but why the others?”

You hit your chest with your fist as you coughed violently. “No, it’s okay. Watch me die.”

“I mean, don’t you have more lives? You should be at, like, five.” She put her cup down on the table and uncurled her leg from under her to face you. “_____, you should go see him.”

“Right, so I can argue with someone else over my intentions? No, thank you.” You looked down at your drink. “If I wanted to deal with my dad I’d be at home more. And,” you flipped her off, “say that again and I swear to God I’ll disown you.”

Kristen pursed her lips and you just knew you were about to walk out of the restaurant. But then her shoulders dropped. “Don’t you think you’re being a little too harsh? I mean, you hate it when you get blamed for you had nothing to do with, so why are you holding this guy responsible?”

“Because he should’ve been there waiting. And even so, the other wasn’t alone. That guy didn’t speak up either!” You crossed your arms. Why were you even bothering to keep their identities a secret? As far as you were concerned, you’d never see or speak to them again. You didn’t owe them anything.

So why did it hurt to consider betraying Jackson’s trust?

“It sounds like dude’s been through some , girl.” She laced her fingers together as her brows wrinkled. “I’m not saying what he said was okay. It’s just, from what you’ve told me, something’s missing. People regularly try to extort or blackmail them or something? Why the was that his first thought? And then the way he straight up doubled down on it and acted like you were gonna attack him. ’s weird, sis.”

“Well, yeah, but—” You hated how her questions made you hesitate. She hadn’t been there taking the brunt of his anger and insults. It wasn’t like you were there to see him. You were just trying to see Jackson. But…you knew some of the horrible idols had to deal with. And you knew Jinyoung’s role in the group. “Damn it.”

Kristen nodded her head. “I’m not gonna ask for more info because it’s your business, but if you ask me,” she leaned back in her chair, “he deserves a chance to speak his piece. What’s the worst that can happen? Is he really gonna let that guy near you again when he’s been texting and calling round the clock and apologizing? Hell, no.”

She had another point. Jackson wanted to meet up somewhere away from the group, just you two. It wouldn’t be likely that Jinyoung would be around. “I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

You ended up choosing a little mom-and-pop diner not far from their hotel and planned to meet at three in the afternoon. He had a small window of time to explore before they had to go back to the Convention Center. Of course, all of this had been arranged over text message so there was no guarantee it really was him and not someone else with his phone. You kept imagining scenarios where it turned out to be Jinyoung or lawyers and nearly got off the train to go home a few times.

But if you were wrong, it’d really hurt him. You couldn’t say how you knew for sure, but you were more certain of that than the validity of the whole meeting. You tucked your coat closer to your chest as an icy blast of air pushed against you and breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing the bright neon sign of the diner come into view.

You stepped inside the diner and looked around. Would he stand out or—

“_____!” Jackson stood up and whisper yelled with a cheery smile, waving you over. The way your heart sang and your hands itched to touch him was embarrassing. The animosity took a back seat as you smiled back and practically skipped over to him. He gave you a quick one-armed hug, and you both sat down, picking up the menus. “I’m glad you could make it.”

You scoffed. “As if I’d stand you up.” You gave him a sly grin. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Your pouty face would haunt me forever.”

He smiled back, and his knee brushed against yours. “Would that be a bad thing then? I’d always be on your mind. I like that.”

You laughed behind your menu. “Are you always so shameless?”

He ducked his head. “Only when I need to be forgiven.”

You giggled, feeling your cheeks prickle with heat. The waitress came to take your orders. Jackson ordered a tilapia and rice while you opted for a burger and fries. You’d skipped lunch and weren’t sure what was for dinner. It could be one of those fend for yourself nights.

As soon as the waitress was out of earshot, Jackson’s face turned serious. “I want to apologize for yesterday. I should have been there. Jinyoung told me what he said to you, and I want you to know that I set him straight.”

You sipped your orange juice. “Good to know. Not that I’ll be going near him ever again. I’d like to avoid getting arrested.”

“No one would arrest you. If anything, someone might get arrested for you.” He reached across the table and took your hand. “I understand if you’re not interested in him, but some of us would like a proper chance to meet you. Yugyeom has a million questions and Youngjae has a gift he’d like to give you.”

You shook your head. “But there’s no guarantee all of you are my soulmates. Wouldn’t it be better to wait until we hear from the company before we go making life-changing decisions?”

He nodded. “I can understand that. It’s a little scary having the attention of so many people at once, right?”

“No, it’s not—”

“Please, _____. If even for a little bit, could you let us pretend? We’d like to have someone in our lives. We’d like to have you, someone who puts her foot down and stands her ground. When Jaebeom told me what you did and said, I was so impressed and proud of you. And I owe you. You went through the trouble of coming out to see me—I want to treat you to a trip. You said you wanted to travel. You could come with us.”

“Don’t you have to get permission for that? No one’s gonna okay that. And don’t get me started on Jinyoung.” You shook your head again. “Besides, I’d have to take time off from work and school. I need the money to help pay bills, and I really need to focus on my math class. I can’t afford to take it again.”

His face fell. The waitress returned with your plates. Without another word, he picked up his fork, and you ate in silence. You caught him eyeing you from time to time, like he wanted to say something but let it go. You felt bad for shutting him down, but you didn’t have a choice. You weren’t a princess who could afford to drop life and run off with him. You could barely afford to put gas in your car.

“Would you consider hanging out with Yugyeom one day? He was adamant about spending some time with you before we left.” He twiddled his thumbs over the top of his cup. “It took a lot of convincing to keep him from coming.”

You briefly imagined how crowded the small table would have been with Yugyeom there. A small part of you pouted at the missed opportunity.

“We’ll see. I can’t make any promises, though. I have work and school.” You shrugged.

He nodded. “I’ll explain it to him.” His hand slid across the cold table and gingerly touched yours. It was tentative, as if he expected you to pull away. So you didn’t. His eyes searched yours and you smiled back. His hand engulfed yours in warmth and gave it a gentle squeeze.

It felt good. Like the first of flames in a fireplace. The slow growth of warmth in an otherwise freezing home. You could see yourself huddling closer to it for comfort and acceptance. You squeezed his hand back.

“I’m really sorry, _____.” He lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles before letting go. Just like that, the flame went out the second your hands disconnected. “I wish there was a way to make it up to you.”

‘You could keep holding my hand.’ You shrugged it off. “You don’t have to. As crazy as it sounds, I forgive you.” Why did you say that? Did you forgive him for leaving you to the wolf? Looking at the sincerity in his eyes, you couldn’t bring yourself to hold it against him. Jinyoung was a person separate from Jackson. Plus, Jackson was too ing cute with his pouts. “Yeah. I forgive you.”

He broke out into a wide, beaming smile that had you choking on an “aww.” Jeez.

“Thank you! It won’t happen again, I swear. Or if it does, I’ll wring his neck myself.” He let out a breath. “So, I can stay in touch? Like, we can still call each other and text?”

You nodded. “I’d like that. I’ll need someone to encourage me to be healthy. And it seems like you need a nobody to talk to before you go to sleep.”

“You are not a nobody!” He narrowed his eyes but couldn’t quite shake that ever-present smile.

“You’re biased.” You pointed at him.

“How can I not be?” The playful look in his eyes softened to something you didn’t want to name as your breath caught in your chest. This was dangerous, a nuclear situation if not handled properly. Thinking quickly, you changed the subject to something safe.

“So, since you left out that important detail before, what do the others think about this whole mess? You said Yugyeom and Youngjae want to meet me, but what else?”

Jackson slumped down in his seat and pulled his baseball cap down over his eyes. “No,” he groaned. “Anything but that.”

“Tell me.” You tapped the table. “I need to know before they…Please.”

He peeked at you, then pushed the hat back enough for you to see his eyes. “It feels like I’m the only one who at least wants it. And I can understand it. But…I have this feeling in my gut that’s never let me down before.” He slowly lifted his gaze until it met yours. “I’m as sure of this, of you, as I am with my music and business. It feels like we’re supposed to be near each other, in whatever way we choose. And the thought of giving up on this connection makes me sick.”

You reached across the table and took his hands in yours, brushing your thumbs over the back of them. “So we won’t. Like we said on the phone, best friends forever, right?”

He gave your hands a gentle squeeze as the cozy warm feeling returned. “Right.” This time you didn’t let go. You both cherished the comforting touch in silence, amazed at how right it felt. “Your hands are soft.”

Your face scrunched up as you fought a giggle. “You’re just now noticing? I chose my best lotion just in case.”

He perked up and leaned forward, bringing his face near yours. “Wait, you wanted me to hold your hands?”

“Huh?” You flushed and couldn’t look at him. “I mean, don’t you shake hands when you meet someone? I wouldn’t be so rude to you even if I was upset.”

Judging by the goofy grin on his face, Jackson wasn’t buying your bull. “Mmhm, sure.” His watch buzzed, drawing his attention. He caught saw the time and his smile fell. “I gotta head back.”

You checked your phone. “Yeah. My train is coming. If I miss it, I’ll be stuck out here another hour before the next one comes.”

You both neatly stacked your dishes and utensils then reached for your pockets at the same time. Your eyes met and neither of you spoke. You slowly picked out a twenty-dollar bill and somehow you still slapped money down on the table at the same time.

“Are we really gonna do this?” You asked with a pointed look at your hands.

“If we have to.” He his lips. “But you shouldn’t pay. I asked you out so I should pay.”

“And if I’d listened to you before, we wouldn’t have had to come here.” You pushed at his fingers with your own but he wouldn’t budge.

“And if I’d been paying attention to my stylist, I would have been ready and waiting for you by the time you showed up.” He put his other hand on top of yours. “Please, BunBun?”

“BunBun?” The pet name was more than enough to distract you so he could slide your hand back and out of the way.

He pointed at your head. “You have the poofy buns!” The waitress came to the table, and he slid the money to her. “This is for the tip,” he handed her a black card, “and this is for the meal.”

“Thank you!” The girl smiled brightly. “I’ll bring your bill.”

You mimicked Jackson as you put the money away. “BunBun. Giving me cute nicknames.”

Minutes later, you were outside, walking side by side towards the train station. The sun was starting to set, and you were sure as cutting it close if you wanted to get home before curfew. Your hand brushed against his and that flicker of warmth returned. You wanted to hold his hand so bad that you jumped when his hand automatically filled yours, holding it with a firm but gentle grip. You looked up at him, but his eyes were focused on the path ahead of you though his mind seemed to be a million miles away. His demeanor was resolute and you couldn’t explain the sense of security he gave you.

“Thank you,” he gave your hand a squeeze, “for meeting me.”

You squeezed his hand back. “Thank you for not giving up on me. I’m really glad I came.”

His eyes crinkled. A loud horn ripped through the air, shattering the moment like a mirror. You looked at the train station and your stomach dropped when you spotted your train approaching the platform.

“! I gotta go!” You broke out into a run but stopped suddenly, as if tethered to a post. Without thinking, you ran back to Jackson and yanked your mask down. “Bye!” You kissed his cheek through his mask then took off again. You barely made it aboard thanks to an elderly couple holding the doors for you. You stepped over feet and bags and found a seat by the window. Jackson was still standing where you left him, fingers pressed to his cheek. You waved at him as the train’s horn sounded again and it lurched forward, onward to the next stop.

Once you couldn’t see Jackson anymore, you turned around in your seat with a sigh. Though you’d never admit it out loud, it hurt like hell to leave him standing there.