Taemin was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the person who was asleep next to him. He knew what was going to happen when Minho wakes up. It was always the same old thing. The rapper goes out, gets drunk, returns and searches for the maknae, sleeps with him say some kind of loving words and when he wakes up in the morning he leaves Taemin’s room and acts like nothing happened, at times not even talking to the younger boy. Taemin knew that he shouldn’t give up to Minho because this had happened way to many times, but he couldn’t stop the rapper. It was too late already. The maknae was head over heels in love with him.

Taemin was very hurt about the rappers behavior. Every time when Minho was  being “friendly” with other people in front of him was leading to the dancer crying later in his room. The other members were very worried about the whole situation. Truthfully they’ve tried to talk to Minho. Give him some advice. Question him about his behavior, but the flaming charisma was hard to talk to. He would always remain silent and ignored what’s been said. And discussing it with Taemin was no good either as the maknae would start crying only when Minhos name was mentioned.

“Taeminnie you know it’s up to you. Don’t do it anymore. He’s taking advantage of you” Key tried to talk to him again.

“I can’t hyung. I love him. I’m afraid that I’m going to lose him if I say something. But I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t endure it any longer. I feel like my heart is going to burst and there is something stuck in my throat. I can’t breathe anymore” Taemin was in tears again. He ran to his room and lay on the bed, placing his head on the pillow. It smelled  like Minho.

The maknae went to his laptop and played the song that he listens every night. The song that resembled all the things he couldn’t say to the flaming charisma

If I could tear you from the ceiling
And guarantee source divine
Rid you of possessions fleeting
Remain your funny valentine

Don’t go and leave me
And please don’t drive me blind
Don’t go and leave me
And please don't drive me blind
 …

You don’t believe me
But you do this every time
Please don’t drive me blind
Please don’t drive me blind

Taemin closed his eyes. The door of his room opened. The windows were opened and the wind blew through the room. Everything was pointless. Minho entered and went to the maknaes bed. Taemin pretended that he was asleep. The rapper got close and saw the tears on the younger boy’s cheeks. He touched them gently trying not to wake him. He got up and prepared to leave but something held him back. He turned back and saw a fragile hand holding his shirt. Taemin was silent he wasn’t saying anything. Just looking at Minho’s eyes. The song changed.

It doesn't hurt me.
You wanna feel how it feels?
You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?
You be running up that hill
You and me be running up that hill
…

You don't wanna hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.

Tears were now streamingdown the maknae’s face.

“Stay. Just once. Stay.” Taemin uttered.

“I can’t Taeminnie. I can’t stay. It’s going to hurt more if I stay” Minho said coldly.

“That’s not possible. It already hurts like hell. If you don’t love me I’ll die. Without you I’m nothing.”

“Taeminnie listen to me. I can’t change. Being with me will only hurt you.”

And for once Minho wasn’t drunk. He was sober but being in this stated there were no sweet words for Taemin. No love.

This was the last time the flaming charisma entered his room. Taemin regretted every word he said to him. He preferred suffering than being without him. He wished he was blind. He wish he could close his eyes and never open them again. There was a strange pain in his heart. He wished he didn’t have a heart. But then again the pain made it real. The pain lets him know he’s alive. The pain helps him close his eyes when he sees Minho…