Wintertime

----x 

Six Years Back 

Her eyes wandered around the desolate streets, filled with white blankets of snow and released a small sigh which creates a fog in the winter air. She waited for minutes, sitting on a wooden chair outside the cafe and absentmindedly sipped her caramel latté. Suzy stared at how the street lights changed its colors and how the vehicles passed by the streets and how people seemed to be in their own world at that moment. How could she be a part of that scene and felt like she's just a speckle of snow falling from the greyish skies. 

Pursing her lips, she fished out a note and a carton box of strawberry milk from her tote bag and smiled as she remembered how she got it. Every day, she received a sticky note on the front door of her unit paired with strawberry milk lying on the floor. It was from an anonymous person, yet with just few words of encouragement and inspiration, her smiles brought back to her face, ever since her mother's death. 

Staying in the cafe, Kyle looked at the girl who possessed a pair of spring eyes. It was a refreshing sight when their eyes meet on hallways and until now, he kept on sending her sticky notes. It started when he saw him crying under an old abandon waiting shed, carrying a dried bouquet of lilies and carnations. 

----x

Present 

Holding the bouquet tightly, Suzy walked through an uphill sidestreets. Despite the coldness of the November winter, she embraced it and felt a bittersweet chills for when it's wintertime she spent those days with him. 

The clouds parted were parted and the sun basked the grounds with glimpses of rays. She gaze up and put a small smile on her face and whispered words in the air. 

"How are you?" she murmured as her eyes watered. She bit her trembling lips and blinked hard. 

----x

Six Years Back 

Kyle tripped on his untied shoelaces when he heard a gasp from behind. Holding the strawberry milk, his eyes widen in shock and was caught off-guard upon seeing her standing in front of him whose crouching on the floor. He straightened up and his grip thightened on the strawberry milk carton box. 

Suzy was surprised upon discovering the identity of the guy who kept sending her sticky notes with random words and strawberry milk carton box. 

Lowering his gaze, he reluctantly the strawberry milk carton box to her, embarrassed of how he got caught-in-the-act. 

"I'm sorry. Are you expecting someone?" he asked, almost a whisper. He shuddered a bit when cold winter air blew. He was wearing a loose cotton shirt, hair's a mess from the bed and eyes chinkier than before. 

"Thanks." she said instead. His eyes looked up, meeting her steely spring eyes and her shy smile. Her cheeks beated red, maybe from the cold weather. "Do you know that simple things could rescue someone?" 

A chuckle escaped from his lips. A relief. She was like a glimpse of sunshine of his winter season.

 

---- 

Five Years Back 

"I like it when the city looks so magnificent and peaceful at nights. It reminds me to take a breathe for a while. Do you think so?" she said as she absentmindedly traces a building. The city seems to glow in different colors of lights and looked like it holds the weight of the people that night. 

He nodded and leaned on the ridge, admiring the city below them, yet he admired her even more now that her eyes brightened up like the hidden stars in the sky. “I like it more when I'm with you everytime my eyes wandered through the city lights. It reminds me of you." 

"How?" A small smile spread from her face. Kyle has been Suzy's refuge these days and even nights of weightlessness and the sunshine despite the cold winter. They looked up when snow fell from the sky and touched the ground. He reached her silky hair and traced its strands covered in bits of snow. His eyes stopped on his soft brown eyes. 

"You seemed to look at the lights instead of the darkness enveloping the alleys." When he's about to cough, he hugged her and closed his eyes as he felt her warmth and scent that calms him. 

That night, he couldn't sleep and just stared at h is palm covered in blood. 

----x

Four Years Back 

"Promise me . . . "

"No! Please! I don't want to hear it. You kept on saying I will keep on living, right? Why would you?" she trailed of, tears blinding her vision as she held his frail hand. 

The IV. The bag of blood. The hospice smell. The white sheets. It blurred in front of her eyes and sobbed on his pale hand. She felt like her chest was burning in pain and grief and she couldn't fathom how to put it off. 

"Promise me, you'll live. You will keep on living. Even without me.” She kept on shaking her head, tears flowing down on his wrist. Kyle cried silently seeing her hurt because of him. Thousands times he thought of giving in and giving up, but she won't and his heart was crumpled of the inevitable circumstance. For the last time, he dragged his words and tightened his grip. "Promise me, you live for yourself. Promise me, you'll let go." 

"No . . . Kyle." she said weakly. She was like seeing a mirror breaks in front of her and pieces of it pierced her 

"I'm tired. I want to sleep." 

----x

Two Years Back 

A bus stopped and its door opened, inviting passengers yet Suzy remained underneath the waiting shed. 

Eyes devoid of emotions and she realized that weightlessness was the heaviest thing she carried. As snow fell unto the buildings, the cobbled pavements, the surroundings, a familiar pang in her chest reappeared along those sweet and happy memories with him. 

 

 

----x 

Present

She placed the bouquet on his tombstone and put on a smile she usually gave to him everytime they met in the cafe. 

“I did, Kyle." she said to him, pertaining to the promise. "I couldn't say I am, fully but I'm on it." She brushed the tears b her eyes. 

"But I couldn't promise I'll stop because you still have a special place in my heart." 

She used to wake up finding a note and a strawberry milk carton box every morning and meeting him in the hallways in his usual black and white tracksuit. That shy smiles on his bright face and how it seems all bearable for her as long as he's by her side. His random kisses on her cheeks. His warm hands enveloping her trembling hands. How his eyes lights up despite the chaotic winters and the nights they admired the fast-paced city. 

Suzy found herself standing in front of a stark tree, letting the snow filled the grounds and dust off some snow on a blossoming flower. She stayed there for hours until a glimpse of sunshine peak through the cottonball clouds. 

“I promise you. I will keep on living.”

 

---x