Don't say we were meant to be
When you say good bye
You'd need that phrase again

Everything was going so well between the two of them, there was no sign of trouble. Or was Siyeon too blind in love to see it?

It took her by surprise when Handong said it to her that morning—Handong, in all her dazzling beauty, who still looking graceful even with her messy bed hair.

"Siyeon, I think… I think we should take a break."

Her hand that was brushing Handong’s arm stopped moving.

"What do you mean?" Siyeon let out a nervous laugh, trying to mask her confusion. Her voice cracked a little. She hated how Handong's words affected her that much.

Siyeon gazed into Handong’s eyes. Trying to make sense of the sudden proclamation. All she could see was Handong’s steely gaze. The one that’s hard for Siyeon to figure out.

Handong looked into her eyes, reaching out to Siyeon and tucked her hair behind her ear. She hesitated for a moment before saying, "I can't stay here, I need to go back to China. I don’t know when I’ll come back here.”

China. Of course. Of course, that would be the reason. It’s not like she didn’t expect this would come. But she thought their love was big enough.

"But… We could…" Siyeon tried to swallow the lump in , tears threatening to spill out, "...we can still be together. We could make it work."

"...I don't want you to wait for me."

And that was the moment Siyeon could hear her heart broke a little. She could feel cracks forming inside her chest as Handong said those words.

-

The next time she felt like someone ripped her heart away was when she's standing at the airport, bidding farewell to Handong.

"Can't you stay?"

"Siyeon, you know I can't."

"Can I follow you? I can buy the ticket right now." Her heart pained at the thought of being away from Handong.

Handong wiped the tears away from Siyeon's cheeks, she didn't even realise she was crying. "Siyeon, we talked about this," Handong gave her a weak smile. The one that she gave out of sympathy, the one that didn't really reach her eyes. "I promise I'll call you when I got there, okay?"

Siyeon wanted to scream. Please don't promise me things.

But all she could do was to nod in tears, as she gave Handong her last hug. She took a deep breath against Handong’s chest, trying to catch every whiff of Handong’s scent. Hoping she could save it in her heart forever.

She watched Handong walked past the security. Both of them waved their hands until Handong turned her back and walked further away. Handong’s back blurred before her eyes. Siyeon could feel her heart breaking into pieces as Handong disappeared from her sight.

-

Siyeon spent her night waiting for Handong's call. The call that never came.

Yet, she hung on to Handong's words because she said she would call.

One day, two days. Days turned to weeks. The call never came.

She put aside her pride and begged Elkie—Handong's cousin—for Handong’s Chinese phone number. But when Elkie finally gave it to her, she didn’t know what to do with it. She wanted to call but would Handong even want to hear from her?

So she deleted the number and hoping that maybe Handong would call.

Siyeon spent her time stitching her broken heart. She cried and cried. Some days were better than the others. Some days were just painful.

Some days she found Handong's belongings under her couch, inside her drawers, or tucked away deep in her closet. And the flood of emotion that came was unbearable.

Her friends were nice enough to help her through this mess.

Minji with her loving eyes as she hugged Siyeon in her warm hugs. Yoohyeon listening to her drunken rant, nursing her hangover the day after.

And then there's Bora with her tough love.

"Siyeon, it's been months. The call is not going to come, she's not coming back." Bora said to her one day when Siyeon refused to get out of her bed.

"You don't understand," Siyeon said, still wrapped inside her blanket.

"Well I've been trying to understand but I’m telling you, Siyeon, this is unhealthy. You need to let it go, move on."

She hated Bora at that moment. She resented her. But she knew Bora was right. Bora was right all along.

When Bora said their relationship was moving too fast, Siyeon brushed it off. Because for a long time, she felt the happiest with Handong. Handong was perfect for her.

Bora was right but Siyeon's pride was too big to admit it.

Then Siyeon got tired of waiting. Of hoping. And so, Siyeon learned to let it go.

To stop hanging onto the sliver thread of hope. To finally heal her broken heart.

She stitched her heart back up.

She started going out, having fun again. Watching movies with her friends, and not thinking how Handong would love this movie.

Eating chocolate and not thinking Handong would love this, even though it would make her sneeze like crazy.

Going out to eat malatang with Minji and not thinking it's Handong's favourite food and maybe she should come with Handong to this restaurant later.

Seeing how a year passed and she's now doing okay, she would say she's doing a great job at healing her broken heart.

She’s not helplessly in love with Handong anymore.

-

Siyeon was watching TV when she heard the beeping sound of her door passcode being entered. It wasn't unusual since her close friends knew her passcode and they pretty much walked in and out of her apartment freely.

She thought it was probably Yoohyeon since she left her phone last night.

At the sound of the door being opened, she yelled from her living room. "Yoohyeon, is that you? Your phone is here!"

A second went by with no answer.

She turned her head and saw a familiar face smiling at her. The one that she missed the most. The one that made her crying through the nights. The one that once made her the happiest woman in the world.

The blonde hair that was once short is now striking red and had reached below her shoulder.

"Hi, Siyeon." Her cheekbones went up as she smiled.

"H-Handong?" Siyeon couldn’t believe her eyes.

"I'm here, Siyeon. I'm back for good."

Throwing away all the pain she went through, she ran towards Handong, pulling her into her embrace.

And here she is once again, in Handong’s embrace. Giving her scarred heart to Handong and willing for it to be broken by the same hands twice.

Because they’re meant to be after all.