KIM DAHYUN’S POINT OF VIEW

When Sana was discharged from the hospital I was the only one to accompany her. On our way home I always thought it was selfish of me to turn down Jihyo unnie’s offer to drive us home. I haven’t had that much time with her and my dumb was too concerned about being embarrassed that’s why I hadn’t really asked her important questions. 

“Just to get this out of my chest…” I trail off. We were in her room, the others were busy doing their own thing. Of course, none of them suspected of anything. I think? 

“What?” She looked up from her phone, I was on the edge of her bed just sitting uncomfortably. 

“Jihyo unnie offered me to give us a ride but I rejected it because I wanted to talk to you in private.” I told her, but it felt like I hadn't really delivered my message clearly. 

“I see…” She trails off, awkwardly looking down her phone. “What do you mean by that? You know, talk to me privately.” She adds, she was as confused as I was. 

“Ah, well…” I trail off, I wasn’t prepared for questions. In my head, we were only doing this one-way thing. I didn't really think we'd exchange words. 

“You see, the way I see it, you could’ve conversed to me in the Taxi on our way home. I mean, am I right?” She asks me, she didn’t sound mad. In fact, she seemed confused, she was already looking at me. Her eyes seemed friendly so that sort of calmed me down. 

“I had no balls, I guess.” I reply weakly, I meant figuratively. Not literally. I mean, can't grow balls anyway cause I'm a female. 

“Obviously.” Sana replies mischievously. I looked at her, confused by her change of tone. Is she toying with me right now? I stared at her for a bit, trying to understand what was happening.

Son Chaeyoung’s Point of View

There hasn’t really been much for me. All I’ve ever done lately is go to University, go home, and study for my tests. Well, I also had to prepare for the upcoming school festival so that’s another thing that’s I’m still not really sure about. I’ve already completed my sponsorship letters and I’ve collected the solicitations. Now, that leaves me with my responsibilities with the committee in which I belong to.  

Things have gone back to normal. Well, too normal I guess. My life’s been quiet lately since I’ve broken things off with Mina. I mean, not that there was really something between us to cut anyway. 

What were we? Friends. Friends that had fun. 

“As you can see here, we still need a lot to work on with our committee. Remember that we’re in logistics. This department needs sharp people. I hate stupid people who aren’t quick-witted.” Says Haesoo, she’s our Senior. She had this smug look on her face. I hate that even though I sit so far away from her, I can see her dumb face. 

“This …” Trails off Tzuyu, she’s currently seated next to me. Of course, we’re in the same committee, we can’t be separated. “She doesn’t even do . How about she stop ordering everyone around and start working her too?” Adds Chou Tzuyu. She’s whispering which is a good thing, I don’t want to get in trouble. 

"Yeah, I think she does need to work on her . Girlie's got a flat ." I joking whisper back to Tzuyu. 

"I didn't..." Tzuyu trails off. "I wasn't looking at her , Chaeyoung-ah. I meant, she should try working like us too." She tries to make her point clear. I just giggle softly, hoping Haesoo and the other Seniors wouldn't notice.

“With that big mouth of hers? Impossible.” I replied back, making sure Haesoo wasn’t looking our way. 

“It would be a delight to push her off the stairs.” Tzuyu adds, she had a mischievous look on her face which made me chuckle. 

“Honestly, super gluing would be the best option.” I whisper back, chuckling a little too loud for our own good. 

“You two.” A firm voice calls our attention, it was Haesoo. “Would you like to share whatever you are talking about?” her voice was mocking. I stared at Tzuyu who was staring at the senior blankly. 

“We didn’t say anything.” Lies Chou Tzuyu without skipping a beat. 

“How come I heard your little chit-chat then?” Smiles Haesoo sarcastically. “I clearly heard you guys. I am discussing things, can you not talk over me?” She stared, it seemed as if she was about to humiliate us. 

“Honestly, if you were really passionate about talking then you wouldn’t really hear us. We were whispering, just so you know. You know what? You’re just nitpicking.” Smiles Tzuyu, she stands up and grabs me by the arm too. “If you actually did your job, things would be easier. Don’t you think so?” Adds Tzuyu, obviously she was right. Before the senior and the others could react, Chou Tzuyu then drags me out of the room. 

“Thanks for putting me out of my misery.’’ I whispered as the both of us walked inside the campus. She stared at me, and then she just shrugged. “You must be tired too, huh?” I ask her. 

"Your misery is mine." She Chuckles. 

"Well, thank you for that." I laugh at her. "But don't you think she's going to be pissed the next time she sees us?" I ask her. 

"I can buy her and her friends." She jokingly replies.

"Jesus, I know you're rich! But I never thought you were that rich." I laugh nervously. "Please don't take me out if ever I do something bad to you." I jokingly add.  

"I would never." She winked at me. “Anyway, I’m always tired, it’s like I never catch a break.” She chuckles as we both take refuge in a shade. We sat there and stayed silent for a while, it wasn’t a problem not saying anything when I’m with her. It’s as if she and I are one. It’s a good thing to have her in my life. 

“How have you been? Why does it feel like I don’t know anything about you.” I chuckle, trying to make a connection between us. 

“I also feel the same way, knucklehead. It feels like I know you but I entirely don’t.” Tzuyu adds, stealing glances at me. “We’re the youngest among the others, of all people we should be the closest.” She stared. 

“You are the closest to me. I mean, like, you're second to Nayeon unnie for sure.” I tell her honestly. 

“That’s a relief.” replies Tzuyu, she’s smiling while looking down at her shoes. 

Being inside the dormitory used to be something that’s nice and peaceful, but after everything that has happened between me and Mina, the dormitory has become a suffocating place for me. Lately, I’ve been spending more time at cafes. I only go home at nighttime to sleep. 

Sometimes I feel as if I am overreacting. Mina hasn’t really said anything, it’s as if me breaking the connection between us was a blessing for her. Honestly, I felt cheated and used. It’s ridiculous, when I’m all by myself I feel resentful towards her. But whenever my eyes meet her at the dorms, I just soften up inside. 

I think it’s unfair. I wish I could at least be mad. But I can’t. It’s outstanding how stupid I am. 

I was at a cafe in downtown Seoul, it was far away from the dorms. The further I am from my place, I feel more at peace. Going out makes me not think about her, my noisy head becomes silent for the time being and I think it’s wonderful. 

The scent of coffee filled the air, mellow songs played on the speakers and the best thing is this cafe isn’t mainstream. It’s wonderful because there aren’t many people around. I ordered a drink that’s not too serious, hot chocolate. 

I’m not much of a coffee drinker. 

It’s week four since my last conversation with Myoui Mina, things haven’t been really well for me. There are nights when I would dream about my first encounter with Minwoo but with a twist. In my dream, I would meet him but instead of shaking my hand, he would grab me and put me in a chokehold, and then everything would go dark. 

I’d wake up crying, with tears streaming down my face. I would first feel disoriented because the dream felt real and the first thing I’d do is look for Minwoo. I would look for him in the hopes of actually ending his life. 

I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him bad. 

There are nights when I’d feel not as scared and there are also nights when I’d be absolutely terrified. I wanted to hold someone and tell someone everything, but why does it feel like I am alone? Why does it feel like if I tell anyone in the dorms of what I am going through, I’d just be a burden to them? I don't want to push people away. 

I hate that I always choose to go through things alone. 

“Chaeyoung-ah.” a familiar voice calls my attention, I knew who it was. 

“You’re here.” I look at her, taken aback with her presence. 

It took me a few minutes before I was able to look at her in the eyes, it felt weird and awkward. I mean, for me at least. She sat right across me with such ease and that made me a little comfortable. 

“Yah, ttalgi. Drink  your beverage or it will get cold.” She warns me, she had this look on her face which annoyed me a little. 

“Are you sure you didn’t follow me?” I asked her, she chuckled. 

“First of all, why? Of all the people I could pry and follow, why would it be you?” She replied sarcastically. 

“I hope you trip and fall, Kim Dahyun.” I moodily sip on my cup of hot chocolate. She just laughs, she isn't really serious as she sips on her drink. 

“I’ve never been to this cafe, okay? I thought it would be edgy to visit a cafe that’s not mainstream.” She smiles, I just nod. Not really saying anything. She stared for a short while but I did my best to always look away whenever our eyes meet. 

“Stop staring before I poke your damn eyes.” I tell her, I see her chuckle. 

“Son Chaeyoung, is something wrong?” She asked me, she sounds serious. I know she’s concerned and honestly, I’ve known her the longest. 

“When is there nothing wrong?” I nervously chuckle and just sip on my drink. She stares at me for a few seconds. 

“You’re so passive-aggressive. Did I ever tell you that when we were still together?” She asked. 

“No, you were all loving and soft. You were whipped.” I told her, she stared at me. 

“You’re gross.” She replies. 

“You’re gross too. We’re equally gross, Dahyun.” I tell her. 

She stared at me, I knew she wanted to tell me something. She does this all the time, the thing when she calculates my mood if ever I’d be fine if ever she wants to talk about a certain thing. 

“Sana told me you haven’t been home lately.” She finally gets straight to the point. I don’t know if I should stall and redirect our conversation or just give her the answer she wants. 

“So you and Sana are getting along fine, huh?” I choose to redirect our conversation. She sighs as if the topic is something that’s sensitive to her. “Oh sorry, did I hit a nerve or something?” I jokingly asked her. 

“I don’t know.” She hardly replies. “How about you and Mina? You guys getting along just fine?” She asks me, she sounds concerned. She doesn’t sound sarcastic which I found a little refreshing, I think?

I just stared at her, I felt my face becoming hot. I didn’t want her to see me like this so I just look down and pretend as if I’m scrolling through my phone. We both stayed quiet for a few seconds when she suddenly asked me. 

"You hate the cold, Chaeyoung-ah." She declares. I stare at her knowing that she's about to expose me. She's good at that.

"Your point?" I ask her back, refusing to give in.

"It's almost winter and Sana says you often stay out late these days. If the air is cold, that means Son Chaeyoung will stay indoors." She says this like she's talking to a child. "That means, you're staying out late on purpose." She finally cracks the code.

"Ha-ha very funny. You're a genius." I reply back. 

"Are you by any chance, avoiding someone in your dorm?" She asked me and I knew I can't keep on swerving anymore. I just stare at her, I wanted the conversation over but then I realized this is me pushing people who are trying to help me. 

“Did you hurt Mina like you hurt me?” She didn’t hesitate when she asked me this, as if it was a pleasure for her to blurt out that I love hurting people. I stare at her and just sigh. 

“I’ve learned my lesson, Kim Dahyun. I’ve vowed to never hurt anyone like that ever again.” I tell her honestly. 

“Well, I guess I’m the casualty here.” She chuckled and I couldn’t help but just roll my eyes. “So why haven’t you been at home that much? You know you’re not supposed to be going around without anyone.” She tells me this like she expected that I knew better. 

I don’t even know what I’m doing with my life anymore. 

“You know, I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done to you. I was cowardly and I didn’t have faith in whatever we had back then.” I tell her this. She just stared, she was obviously listening carefully.

“Well, that’s all in the past now.” She replies in a way that made me feel like she’s truly happy with where she is at right now. Again, we became silent for a short while. My thoughts and worries bubbling inside me. I stared at her and I knew, I just knew that even though she’s nosy, I can trust her. 

“I think I’m paying for all the things I’ve done to you.” I blurt out, putting all my trust in her. 

“What?” She was worried, I can tell by the sound of her voice and the look on her face. “Son Chaeyoung, what is wrong?” She asked me. 

“Dahyun-ah, I think I’m receiving my bad karma already.” my voice broke when I said this, I didný even notice that tears were already falling from my eyes. 

All the emotions that I’ve been bottling these past few weeks have finally spilled and I am glad that it’s Dahyun who I am with right now. These gods above are funny because out of all the people I could confide in, they chose Dahyun to be that person. Why Dahyun? I don't know. It just happened that way, I guess. The gods above are funny like that.

“Tell me everything.” She reaches for my hand and gave it an assuring squeeze. That was all I needed for me to tell her everything that had happened between me and Mina, of course, I had to omit some things. It felt nice that I finally got to tell someone what I am going through, it felt refreshing and liberating. 

THIRD PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW

That night, Son Chaeyoung decided to come home early. Maybe it was the conversation that she had with Kim Dahyun that had made her finally realize that she shouldn’t act all reckless at a time like this. Even though Kim Dahyun seems cocky, she’s very sensible too. Chaeyoung was thankful that Dahyun lives close by, she felt like drowning, and to her, Kim Dahyun is her floater at a time like this.

When she stepped into the living room, she was greeted by her roommates eating together in the living room. Son Chaeyoung froze, shocked because of the unexpected stares. She felt , why were these people staring at her?

“It feels like I haven’t seen you in ages.” Huffs Nayeon, a little disappointed that Son Chaeyoung has been going home late. 

“What the hell are you doing? Don’t just stand there, come here and eat dinner with us.” Says Tzuyu as she grabs a plate and gestures for Chaeyoung to sit next to her. Chaeyoung immediately sat beside Tzuyu, wanting to avoid contact with Mina. 

“Are you avoiding us?” asks Nayeon jokingly, which not surprisingly makes Chaeyoung uncomfortable. Everyone stares at Chaeyoung, waiting for her to answer. 

“Do you want some tangsuyuk?” Asks Tzuyu, trying to redirect the conversation. 

“Please.” Smiles Chaeyoung,  she was uncomfortable but she tried her best to not seem like she’s affected. 

“Anyway, that was a joke. Jeez, none of you guys can take a joke.” Nayeon complains as she takes another bite from her own plate of food. “But I was serious when I said that it felt like I haven’t seen you in ages.” She clarifies. 

“It’s because I’ve been busy unnie, I have tons of things to finish.” Son Chaeyoung chuckled, of course, she was lying. Exams were over, sure maybe she had readings to finish but those readings are not difficult. 

“Exams over?” Asks Sana, she’s been eyeing Chaeyoung since she came home. 

“Yeah, which is a relief.” Smiles Chaeyoung as she received the plate from Tzuyu. The room grew silent for a few seconds, it wasn’t that awkward since the television provided some background noise. That relieved everyone, no one really had to say anything. All eyes were glued on the television, it was a lazy dinner for sure. There weren’t much the girls could talk about anyway. 

The presence of Son Chaeyoung made everyone inside the room smile, they haven’t seen her as much for weeks. Well, except for Chou Tzuyu since they go to the same school. 

Mina couldn’t explain the relief that rushed through her body the moment she saw Son Chaeyoung walk inside the dorm. She’s been worried about the girl, she knows she doesn’t have the right to say that she’s concerned but she couldn’t help it. She felt as if she was partly responsible for why Son Chaeyoung has been avoiding everyone. Before the confrontation, her heart was constantly at peace. But ever since it happened, the night of Momo’s birthday, she couldn't help but tear up whenever the conversation would play inside her head. She knows she doesn’t have the right to be sad, all of this was her fault. She did this, so she has to endure all of this. 

But it was difficult, trying to ignore the younger girl. 

Mina after the confrontation would always end up awake at night, unable to fall asleep. It’s the thought that Son Chaeyoung always goes home late at night that unnerves her, she was concerned. So to make herself feel at peace, she made it a habit to stay in the living room and peek at the windows to see if Chaeyoung is almost home. Whenever she does see the younger girl enter the gate, she calms down. She then would hurriedly tip-toe back to her room. She now knows Chaeyoung has arrived safely and this makes her fall asleep faster. 

“How have you been?” The words seemed restrained, but it happened. Mina asked Chaeyoung the question. The other girls are obviously not aware of the tension between the two, that’s why none of them really cared. 

Chaeyoung stared, not sure if what she heard is right. Then, later on, realized that she did hear right. “Oh. I’ve been well, unnie. ”

Unnie. 

Mina hates it. She hates that Chaeyoung addresses her like that, she feels awful. 

“That’s good.” Replies Mina almost inaudibly, munching on her food like she didn’t even start the conversation in the first place. She thinks pretending like so would benefit her. 

“So, Sana-ssi.” Starts Nayeon, she thought this would be the best time for them to tackle Sana's problems since they’re all complete. “What are your plans?” Asks the older girl. 

“I’m just taking things slowly as of now. I’m honestly still confused as to what to do next.” She seemed a little shy when she said this. 

“Well, I’d like you to know that we’re right behind you no matter what happens.” Mina Smiles. 

“Thank you.” She replied a little too awkwardly. 

“Unnie, if you’re really in need of jobs I can give you recommendations. You know, for the meantime as you  wait for the next thing you want to do.” Says Tzuyu. Everyone nodded, they all listened.

Sana stared at her, she didn’t really want to get too emotional. So she just looked down and sighed. Everyone became quiet after that, no one really had something to contribute to the conversation. That’s when suddenly Mina’s phone rang. She immediately picked it up, it was unusual for her to receive a call from her parents at this time of the day. But whatever the reason was, she picked it up and answered. 

At first, she greeted her mom, it was in Japanese. The girls had basic knowledge about the Japanese language, they could understand basic hi and hello. Mina’s face lit up when she first heard her mother’s voice but her mood suddenly shifted not more than five seconds later. Everyone in the room couldn’t understand what she was saying but she sounded distressed, of course, Sana was the only one who understood. 

“Sana, what’s going on?” Asks Nayeon, Sana just stared and shook her head. She probably does not want to get ahead of Mina. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung just stared as it became apparent that the call wasn’t made in order to give Mina a piece of good news. 

Mina turns her phone off. 

She had this blank look on her face as if she couldn’t believe what she just heard. Sana instantly sat beside the girl and started to comfort her and that’s when Mina started crying. This time she sounded really pained but the other girls didn’t understand what was happening. Sobbing, that was all that we heard. Sana was hugging Mina, soothing the girl. 

"What's wrong?" Asks Tzuyu, she sounded really concerned but Sana just shook her head. 

"Please, Mitang. Answer us." Nayeon was practically begging, the sight of Mina shedding tears like that was unusual for her. 

"What's wrong?" Asks Caheyoung, putting their differences aside.

“My brother was involved in  a terrible accident.” Says Mina when she has finally collected herself, but still she sounded pained and distressed. “He’s undergone surgery and hasn’t woken up yet.” She adds before anyone could ask anything. 

It was as if they were in a movie where tragic things just kept happening to them, it was awful. No one in the house could ever catch a break. 

SON CHAEYOUNG’S POINT OF VIEW

I couldn’t get the image of Mina crying out of my head when I headed to my room. All night long I kept twisting and turning, I kept questioning myself whether I should go to her room and comfort her. But it felt off, I knew Sana would be there. I also don’t think I could provide much comfort so I thought it was best to just leave her be. 

But that was the thing, the fact that I kept battling with my decision left me restless last night. I don’t know, I probably even had some lucid dream about her but I just can’t remember it. Maybe that’s the reason why when my phone rang so early in the morning, I picked it up immediately. I sprang up and answered. 

“Hello?” I answered. I wasn’t really sure who I was talking too because I didn’t look at the caller ID.

“Chaeyoung-ah. I’m sorry for waking you up.” It was Sana unnie, I could tell from her voice that it was her. She sounded really concerned. 

“Wait, what time is it?” I groggily asked and stared at my wristwatch.  “Jesus, it’s only five in the morning. Also, why are you calling me?” I ask her. I had lots of questions inside my head. 

“Chaeyoung-ah, please listen to me carefully.” She sounded serious which made my ears perk up. “I need you to take a bath and get dressed.” She carefully instructs me. 

“Is this a prank?” I was a little awake now, I hope she’s just ing with me. 

“And then go to Incheon International airport.” She abruptly adds, completely ignoring what I just asked. My eyes widened and I felt off. 

“What the hell is going on?” I ask her. 

“Just please do what I say and hurry. I need you to be here before seven o’clock.” She instructs. 

“This better be worth it.” I mumble under my breath.

“And oh, Chaeyoung-ah.” She calls my attention once more. 

“Yeah?” I reply. 

“Please don’t forget to bring your passport.” She reminds me one more time before hanging up.