SooShu Eyes Full of Love
Captured On FilmShuhua's POV. Written by someone mature, deep, and wise.
=============
Dear Soojin,
My beautiful and sweet Jin-Jin. When you had asked me to start calling you Soojin, I had agreed— simply because you asked me to, and I would honestly call you anything you wanted. But I hold so much attachment and affection for the name Jin-Jin, that just saying your name or greeting you with “JIN-JIN-AHHHHH!” over text brings me so much joy. As I reflect on the past few weeks, our 5+ year relationship, and the cumulative impact you’ve made on me, I will attempt to unpack the deep meaning and emotions that you and your name stir up within me.
You’ve always been there for me, ever since the first day I walked into Cube. I know you said that you didn’t have any real friends as a trainee, but even then, you gave so much of yourself to others. I fondly remember you back then and now as someone who was extremely supportive, kind, and empathetic. A natural cheerleader. Someone who’s a good listener. Someone who gave me confidence and encouragement when I confided in you about my insecurities of not getting into a girl group and my lack of talent. Honestly, there were moments when I wondered what I gave you in return, if anything. You were almost always the one asking me questions about how I was doing, what was new in my life, gassing me up about my singing skills, and making grand, luxurious travel plans with me.
The fact that we’ve only grown closer throughout the years is a testament to our relationship, and the rarity of it. Our relationship is so rare in many, many ways. Actually, perhaps more accurately, you are rare.
Jin-Jin, you are an enigma. You are incredibly selfless and generous. You think of ways to spend your hard-earned salary on your friends, rather than on yourself. I admire your philosophy and approach to life—to live bravely and fully. I’ve never seen anyone directly face their fears like you have, whether it’s getting up every month and dancing in front of all our teachers, confessing your feelings to a girl you like, or embracing any hurt that accompanies happiness. Although you know (probably more than anyone) how much I deeply loathe myself, you still relentlessly tell me I’m beautiful. And for some reason, when you say it, there are times when I believe you. The more things I learn about you, the more I like you. You share with me the flaws you see in yourself, the things you view as inadequate, and the things you wish you could change about yourself. But I genuinely wouldn’t change a single thing.
Jin-ah, I truly like every single part of you. Your hair, whether it’s short or long. Your beautiful face. Your soothing voice. Your rosy lips. Your legs. Your hands. Your sense of humor that matches mine. Your gentle and soft nature. The way you smile at me and the way you look at me like I’m the only thing that exists in that moment.
I want you to know that I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret the two months we’ve had together, all the memories we’ve made, and that night we kissed. I wouldn’t change a single moment, text, or FaceTime cal
Comments