“What are you doing?”

 

“Eating?”

 

“Of course, you are, . You know what I mean so just answer me.”

 

Mark sighs before meeting Jinyoung’s glaring eyes.“Jin, we’re at the cafeteria having lunch so I’m eating, we have Jaebeom beside me eating, and Jackson at your right side, also surprise! eating.”

 

“Let me correct your flawed conclusions. I am at the cafeteria, having MY lunch and I do NOT remember inviting any of you to join my table.”

 

“Can you guys just please shut the up and let Seunie enjoy Seunie’s lunch in peace?”

 

“Will you stop referring to yourself in third person! How old are you, four? You’re giving me goosebumps, goodness.” Jinyoung was quick to reply side eyeing the blonde boy beside him.

 

“Okay Jin.” Mark starts, trying to explain why he and his two friends invaded the raven-haired boy’s table and apparently intruding his peaceful lunch. “I know you want the table for yourself even though it’s obviously a school property which means everyone can use it –

 

“And your point is?”

 

Jinyoung cuts him off that Mark felt the need to heave a sigh. “We’re starving and Jackson is being a so we got here late and there’s no vacant table left.”

 

This earned the infamous eye roll from the one and only Park Jinyoung, he then resumes reading his book while eating. “Whatever, just eat your lunch or whatever’s left of it.”

 

Hearing that, Mark casts a glance at his food but just then, he caught Jaebeom stealing his meatballs.

 

“Dude! Really?” Mark complained, visibly exasperated at this point, to which Jaebeom just replied with a tight-lipped smile. The dummy’s mouth is stuffed with food which were probably the meatballs he basically stole from Mark.

 

********

 

As playful as how their earlier banter was, that was actually the most words Mark heard from Jinyoung all throughout the day. Truth be told, that is kinda disappointing for the blonde because they are seatmates and they’re the only ones at the back of the class, so with all of that being said, wouldn’t it be safe to assume that he and Jinyoung could have been the best of friends or whatever? But sadly, he’s not even considered a friend to Jinyoung.

 

When he transferred in the start of Junior’s year, just a couple of months ago, Jinyoung was the one who toured him around and helped him settle down; maybe this is because Jinyoung was the most fluent in English in their class plus he’s the class president and Mark is the new kid from LA. He was actually convinced at that time that Jin would somehow be his bestfriend in the new school but he didn’t expect Jinyoung would surround himself with walls that were so high, Mark’s not even sure if he can climb over them. And he doubts if anyone can, really. Jinyoung is a mystery like puzzle pieces waiting to be solved but no one was tough enough to withstand its sharp edges. Jinyoung is a book he begged to read but it was placed in the highest shelves and he’s still finding the ladder that would help him reach it.

 

“Mark, for goodness sake! You’ve been staring at that board for hours now! Come on man! We’re late for training.” Jaebeom said nudging Mark forward and they start trudging towards the gym. Classes just ended and it is now time for club activities. “You know, you always stare at that piece of paper pinned in the Lit Club’s bulletin board every time you happen to pass by it. Do you really like that poem or the writer of that poem?”

 

“Shut up, Beom! You better start running or coach will kill us both.” Mark replied as he starts to run, leaving his friend behind. He even heard Jaebeom shouting whose fault is that before he turns into a corner.

 

Jaebeom is right about the staring though but they don’t understand how he’s not just reading the piece. He’s reading behind or even beyond the lines because there’s so much of Jinyoung poured into that poem and no one tried to decode it. They just proclaimed it as a beautiful piece then pinned it down, preserving something they did not even tried to understand. That poem was written way before he transferred and if he was already here when Jinyoung wrote that poem, he would’ve asked so many questions about the metaphors used. He still wants to ask right now but it feels like he’s invading the writer’s privacy.

 

********

 

“Those who are late, 20 laps around the court! Now!” they heard Coach Choi instructing before Mark and Jaebeom was able to put their bags down. They just finished changing into their training clothes and obviously, both of them are the only late comers.

 

“This is your fault, Tuan! You better treat me with ice cream later.” Jaebeom hissed as he stretches before doing the laps. They could even hear Jackson’s giggles granted they haven’t actually seen the guy. “Fine.” Mark quietly agrees to appease Jaebeom because it’s really his fault this time. He started stretching. Twenty laps would be a to his bones and muscles.

 

But before they can start the laps, “Tuan!” Coach Choi yells calling Mark’s attention.

 

“Yes, Coach.” Mark replied facing their coach.

 

“Just do the side to side drills with Chan, He does not have a partner, Jimin would practice digging and receiving so leave the laps to Im and get your in the court.”

 

“Copy, Coach!” Mark replied clearly favoring the new instructions. He quickly jogs towards the second setter on their team who’s waiting for him with a ball in hand. Jaebeom yells a series of profanities to Mark feeling utterly betrayed and if Jackson is just giggling a while ago, well he’s now laughing so hard, even dropping the ball he was supposed to hit for a serve.

 

Mark loves Volleyball. When his parents told him they’re going to move to Korea in lieu of his father’s new job position, one thing that made him adamant about the whole decision of transferring schools is leaving behind his team. And he knows his team is also sad in letting him go. He’s an amazing setter. The medals and trophies he bagged since he started playing the sport could attest to that. But if you would ask him, it’s all thanks to his Mom who is also a volleyball player during her prime years and an amazing setter too. He watched a video of his Mom playing and he was so fascinated that by the end of the video he begged his Mom to teach him how to play and soon after, they’re at the backyard doing underhand passes. He was just 8 years old at that time and since then, he never looked back even if some boys of his age about playing a girly sport which is of course a whole bs because anyone should be allowed to play whatever sport they like and he really hates people falling into stupid stereotypes.

 

When they moved to Korea, he was not sure if his new school has a Volleyball program. It’s just that his parents see to it to enroll him in an international school so that he would not lag behind the class or feel alienated. So, when Jinyoung toured him around and he learned that the school indeed have a volleyball team, he was quick to ask the other boy where he could sign up to join and luckily the team is in need of a setter since the previous one already graduated. Now, he’s a prized addition to the team and they’re training hard for the approaching Inter High Competition.

 

After an hour of drills and practicing their serves, also Jaebeom finished the 20 laps and has long joined their teammates in polishing their skills in the service area, Coach Choi gathered them for another hour of a practice game. The team was divided into two. Jackson and Mark are playing against Jaebeom this time around though they would always switch up to better their chemistry and for setters to know the spikers’ strength. Their team consists of 12 members and they are actually pretty close with each other.

 

“Are you guys prepared to clean the gym?” Jaebeom said taunting his two close friends on the opposite side of the court.

 

“I don’t know Captain, are you ready to clean the gym after doing 20 laps?” Mark replied high-fiving Jackson before walking towards the service area.

 

“I hate you Mark! You owe me an ice cream!” Jaebeom yelled but he’s now in his position getting ready to receive Mark’s serve. That bastard is freaking gifted in Volleyball and his jump serve is very hard to stop but it is very fulfilling once you’re able to do so. 

 

Mark’s jump serve did not disappoint. His team was able to score a couple of points but Jimin, their libero, was able to receive the third one enabling the setter to organize a play and Jaebeom was able to nail a point with a down the line spike.

 

The game stretched for an hour, they played a best of 2 out of 3 sets. Mark’s team won the 1^st set with a score of 25-22. Jaebeom’s team bounced back on the 2^nd set though with a score of 21-25. The final set was intense, both don’t really mind losing to each other per say since they’re actually just part of one team but the punishment fueled the competition. They’re tired with the training as it is so cleaning is too much for them. They’re both tied at 15, prompting the set to extend. Jackson is on the service line. He’s one of the team’s best server with a floater that is hard to anticipate and true to that, he was able to score a point. The other team taught the service is too long but the ball landed just down the line. That service ace put Mark’s team on the lead and also a one point short to winning. 

 

“Guys, we can’t risk another one. Let’s just receive the ball regardless if it appears out or in.” Jaebeom instructs his teammates. He’s sweaty and panting but he got a game to finish so he willed himself to concentrate. Mark is in front of him, this means that they only have two spikers at the front, if by any chance they over received Jackson’s serve, Mark would likely set the ball to their middle for a quick.

 

Jimin received Jackson’s serve and passes the ball towards their setter Chan who in turn sets it towards the outside hitter that is Jaebeom himself. The set was perfect and just what Jaebeom likes, he took a quick glance on the opposite side of the court to map an open space. The middle blocker is already making a cross court hit impossible so he opted for a down the line hit, his specialty of the house. But as he hit, the ball was met with a wall of limbs to intercept its direction and it bounces back and landed just behind him. Their Coach blows the whistle signaling that the ball landed inside their court and it’s indeed a block point made by Mark who seemed to have a spring in his freaking knees or something.

 

“Mark Tuan!!” Jaebeom yells while Mark on the other side of the net is smiling sweetly at him like he did not just block his spike.

 

“Hi Beomie Beomie! Seunie hopes you enjoy cleaning the gym, Seunie wants it spotless!” Jackson said, appearing behind Mark with a teasing grin on his face.

 

“Hi Seunie! I’m gonna kill you.” Jaebeom hollered as he ducks at the net separating them to chase Jackson who’s now running for his life but his laugh says he’s enjoying the impromptu game of tag.

 

Mark looks at his friends and shakes his head, those two sure have an endless amount of energy while he just wants to crawl to his bed and forget the world.

 

“Are they not tired yet? I’m about to pass out myself.” Jimin, just a grade below Mark said as he took a ball out of Mark’s grasp to put it on the cart where they store it.

 

“Same. But I bet a certain soulmate is waiting for you outside to hangout after practice though.” Mark teasingly replied to the younger.

 

“Hyung! You can’t tease me like that, you’re not giving me your serves, this is upsetting!” Jimin said pouting at Mark, he’s such a baby sometimes and this is one of those.

 

“Well, that’s because you receive it perfectly and I need a point.” Mark replies ruffling the younger boy’s hair as he walks toward the bench to get his bag, his body is begging for him to shower already. Jimin just smiled then continues to collect the balls scattered in the gym, satisfied with the answer he heard.

 

A week later

 

Mark is frustrated very much so. It’s been weeks and weeks but his conversations with Jinyoung ranges from short answers to one-sided conversations. Why is he so interested about the school’s hot nerd is beyond him? He does not fancy that title his schoolmates and classmates gave Jinyoung to be honest, he’s hot of course but the nerd part infuriates him and his friends can’t understand where this is all coming from but to be honest, even he, himself couldn’t.

 

“Beom, tell me how do google defines a nerd?” Jackson asks his friend who’s glued to his phone probably chatting with his boyfriend being the sappy fool that he is. They’re at the small but cozy ice cream shop near their campus. The school hours were long over and so is their practice but since it’s Friday they’ve decided to indulge themselves with their comfort food or better yet, Jaebeom’s comfort food, before going home. They’re at the corner table hidden from the front, the one they claim as their spot because it’s cool that way according to Jackson of course.    

 

“Why can’t you do it yourself? I’m busy.” Jaebeom replied not bothering to look away from his phone.

 

“Beom, do you remember when you told your parents we’re having a group study in our house but you actually went on a date and remember who covered your troubled when they called?”

 

“According to google-” Jaebeom suddenly answered, typing fast in his phone. “Jesus! I can’t have peace and quiet in this household. Are we talking about Mark’s crush on Jinyoung again?”

 

“Just go back to whatever cringy stuff you’re doing Beom, I don’t have a crush.” Mark puts in a dire attempt to swerve the topic away from him.

 

“No, no, no! We are talking about this, this is by far the most interesting Mark has ever been.” And of course, Jackson would insist.

 

Jaebeom puts his phone down, tuning in the conversation. “He’s worked up Markie, and that is scary. The last time this happened, he abolished a school rule.”

 

“School rule? Tell me about it.” Mark asks curiously.

 

“Oh, you’re going to hear a heroic deed Markie, buckle up and ready your hanky.” Jackson replied with excitement and Mark is just relieved to shift the conversation.

 

“Well,” Jaebeom says rolling his eyes before continuing the story he must have relayed for so many times but still the fondness towards his bestfriend’s antics is there. “He barged into the school board meeting, it was funny he looks so ready to protest with a signage and a black hanky tied around his head.”

 

“What’s written in the signage, then?”

 

“Oh! It was poetic Markie.” Jackson interjected.

 

“Hair coloring freedom movement,” Jaebum was quick to supply while keeping a straight face. “No, not poetic. Anyway, he interrupted the meeting, plugged in his flash drive, then played his power point about how the school should allow their students to color their hair.”

 

“I spent hours Markie, H - O - U - R - S, just to gather researches and scientific findings to prove that hair coloring does not affect school performance and how enforcing that rule is a backward thinking. Hence, they should allow the students to show their creativity and be comfortable on their way of expressing themselves, thus, improving their confidence level to promote self-love!”

 

“That’s so bold of you and also smart, I must say. So, I should thank you that I am allowed to go to school with blonde hair then.”

 

“Well, I do my best. No problem, Markie.”

 

“See! If he is this passionate about studying in general. You’d be in the same class with me and Mark.”

 

“Why would I be? It’s boring, and I don’t like your section I can’t spread my wings in there. Anyways, Mark how did that talk about wanting a pet with your parents go?”

 

“Now that you ask, actually it went pretty well. They’re supportive just I need to make sure to handle the responsibility and so on.”

 

“Your parents are pretty chill. I know they would allow it. When do you plan to go to the shelter then? Jaebeom would be really happy to accompany you.”

 

“Why me?”

 

Jackson narrowed his eyes, looking at Jaebeom like he committed a crime for forgetting something, “Well, Seunie sacrificed every weekend to fencing so connect the dots.”  

 

Before his two friends strangle each other by the neck, Mark intervened saying how his parents also offered to go with him but he wishes to go alone. His decision is final and the two knew it so they did not prod any further and stirred the topic to something stupid Jackson did at practice. 

   

“Hey! Let’s get going. Bamie’s practice just ended. I’m going to walk him home.”

 

“Well aren’t you a romantic, Im Jaebeom-ssi?”

 

“I still can’t believe you toyed with me during the friendly match.” Mark replied, gathering his things and walking towards the exit with the two boys in tow.

 

“It was nothing but hilarious! The best comedy skit ever!” Jackson said, laughing as the memory of the said friendly match resurfaces to his mind.

 

“Dude! I was really alarmed. It was an intense 5 set match with the rival school, then we won and suddenly Jaebeom is in a trash talk battle with the other team’s middle blocker. I panicked because they seemed to be seconds away from throwing punches so I held Jaebeom. He managed to escape from my clutches, meeting the other guy but instead of punching each other, lover boy here is massaging Bambam’s palm and kissing it.”

 

“Yeah and your face though!” Jackson outright guffawed at the memory even Jaebeom and Mark can’t help but laugh alongside him.    

 

They talked and entertained themselves until they reached the bus stop where they exchanged goodbyes and a cheer of a happy weekend ahead.

 

On his way home, Mark is thinking about their conversation at the shop. Jackson’s really something and he’s glad they stirred the topic. He wants to know more about Jinyoung but he wants to do it without the biases of others who have known the guy for years. He wants to see him and get to know him on his own view without outsiders’ opinions first. Also, he should maybe do his research about the shelters nearby since he’s planning to adopt a puppy. He can’t believe he’s doing this. The death of their family’s golden retriever named Ollie still brings a pang to Mark’s heart. He grew up with Ollie by his side, walking and playing with him at the park and he’s thankful that his family and friends understands how personal this is to him and that he wants to go to the shelter alone. 

 

********

 

“Good Morning, this is Jisoo of Asan Shelter, how can I help you?”

 

Mark is holding the phone receiver tightly, he’s nervous but also determined to do this.

 

“Oh, hi umm… Good morning too?” And of course, his nerves got the best of him stuttering and sounding unsure. He took a deep breath to compose his self and be coherent or this Jisoo would think this is a prank call. “This is Mark Tuan, I am calling to ask when the shelter is open? I am interested in adopting a puppy.”

 

“That is very nice of you Mark. The shelter is open from 9am to 5pm on weekends and 8am to 6pm on weekdays.”

 

Mark did a quick glance at the clock behind him, it reads 25 mins passed 11 and based on his research the night before the shelter is about 20 mins away from their neighborhood. But before he could reply and ask, the woman from the shelter supplied the information he needed about the adoption process.

 

“So, you can go in here whenever you want but you can’t take the pup on the same day you file the application for adoption. Our vet here still needs to check the pup and also we require an interview before the shelter approves your application.”

 

“How long does it usually take?” Mark asks, the nervousness he had a while ago is now replaced with a spark of excitement.

 

“About a week or two. But if you want, you can visit today and see if you have a prospective pet! But I assure you that would be very hard because every pet in here is cute and lovely.”

 

“That would be nice, yeah I can visit today.”

 

“Great, then you’ll see me at the reception and since it’s near lunch you can even help feed the cuties if you want while you go around and meet them.”

 

“Sure! Thank you and have a nice day!”

 

By twelve noon, Mark was already at the shelter, walking through its hallways. The woman he’s talking to the phone a while ago was even energetic and lively in person and was very much willing to cater him. But since she can’t leave her post at the reception and according to her, the volunteer that is supposed to walk him around is busy feeding the animals, he was instructed to just join them in the room at the end where the dogs were kept. Honestly, he doesn’t have any idea what to expect. He’s just excited to meet the pups. When he entered the room, the puppies are walking around, playing with each other. They are indeed very cute. He is confused for a second seeing that there is no one going around feeding them but the pups excitedly swarm around him, curiously blinking and sniffing. He squats to pet the puppies and a cute little poodle took that as an opportunity to him all over his face and that made him giggle. He really missed this kind of affection and that made him certain about adopting. He scooped the little poodle in his arms while the other pups seemed to already lost interest in him and is now back at playing with each other. The door at the back opened and someone came in to the room but he can’t see clearly because of the cages obstructing the view. But when the person came into view, he was rendered speechless. Park Jinyoung was in front of him fixing his apron, the Park Jinyoung who is the hottest nerd, the prim and proper class president is surrounded by cute little puppies and he can’t believe his eyes. A bark and some wiggling in his arms brought him back to reality, and this also made Jinyoung notice his presence.

 

“What are you doing here?” Jinyoung asked but the puppies around him is clearly demanding his attention. This seemed to remind Jinyoung of the task he had in hand.

 

“Wait, I need to feed them first. Do you mind?”

 

“No, it’s okay. I also came here to help.”

 

“Good.” Jinyoung instructed him and showed him how to do the job and they worked quietly, ensuring everyone gets the food and water on their bowls.

 

“So, what brought you here?” As the dogs were happily having their lunch, Mark and Jinyoung sat quietly in the corner. Observing and watching, he was somewhat engrossed in the scene in front of him that he almost missed the question directed to him.

 

“I was planning to adopt a dog so, here I am. You volunteer in this shelter?” He can’t help but ask. Seeing Jinyoung here interacting and feeding the pups is a concept he still can’t grasp.

 

“I’ve been volunteering here for 3 years. My friend wants to volunteer so I went with him so he’s not alone.” The cute little poodle found its way towards Jinyoung who’s now petting and feeding it with his own hands. “You’re such a baby, huh!” The raven-haired boy said to the puppy fondly scratching the little poodle, obviously endeared and Mark is probably endeared actually, totally endeared by the interaction. He wants to ask Jinyoung about the friend he mentioned since the boy always keeps things to himself at school and he did not see anyone with him too but thinks it’s probably rude to ask if he has a friend so he just keep his mouth shut.

 

They fell into silence, cleaning after the puppies then playing with them afterwards. Before he knew it, he’s been in the shelter for 3 hours and Jinyoung is ushering him towards the office for the application.

 

“So, do you have a pup in mind which you want to adopt?” Jinyoung voiced out as they settle in the office waiting for the vet’s assistant who would walk Mark through the process.

 

Mark took a while before replying, the cute little poodle came into his mind but Jinyoung was clearly fond with it so he’s not sure if it’s okay to adopt the puppy. Jinyoung must have sensed his hesitance and the reason behind, “Do you have the poodle in mind?”

 

Mark felt like he’s caught stealing or something. He was ready to deny and also to adopt a different pup but before he could even begin denying, Jinyoung was now talking.

 

“Hey! It’s okay if you want to adopt him. I actually would be glad you know, at least I know who will take him and that he is in good hands.”

 

“Why did you not adopt him then?”

 

“I can’t keep him with me, I actually want you to take him. But only if you want to!”

 

“I- yeah. You’re right about me thinking about adopting the poodle. What is the cutie’s name then?”                 

 

“I umm… we did not name him. I was supposed to, I also adored the pup’s mom her name is Mee. I took care of Mee and helped when she’s in labor but Mee did not make it. I did not name him because I don’t want to get attached when I know I won’t be able to adopt him. He’s the last one you know? His siblings have found a home already.” Mark can’t believe that this Jinyoung talking to him is the Jinyoung who is his seatmate because he’s been blabbering and initiating conversations and this is by far the most words, he heard from him.

 

“If you would name him then, what would it be?” He asked, eyeing Jinyoung curiously.

 

“Milo? Yeah, that would be a cute name for a cute pup.” The younger replied fondly.

 

“Then Milo it is.”

 

The assistant entered the office and they walked into the process of adoption. He was briefed about the policies and protocols that were needed to be addressed. Also, Jinyoung helped him and having someone from the shelter who knew him also ease and speed up the process that by the end of the day he already had a slip and a signed application. He can take Milo after he’s checked by the vet that is 3 days from now.

 

“So, I could take Milo home with me on Wednesday.” He said, breaking the silence between then as they wait at the bus stop.

 

“Yeah.” Jinyoung replied, and Mark was sad that they’re now back to one word replies and one-sided conversation.

 

“Well, we have a class. So, do you want to go with me?”

 

The younger was taken aback by the offer but his face shows he did like the idea. “Yes, I want to say goodbye to Milo. Thank you.”

 

“You don’t need to thank me, I am the one thankful you know, for helping me. My Korean is still not that good.”

 

“Hey! But it’s way better compared to when I showed you around campus.”

 

“Stop teasing!”

 

“Well, here’s my bus so I won’t be teasing you then.” The younger was now walking towards the bus but Mark called for him before he can move farther.

 

“Hey Jin! It’s not a goodbye you can still see Milo, just tell me when you can.”

 

And that’s the first time the blonde saw Jinyoung smile, the genuine one not the polite one that he’s got no problem in showing everyone at school.

 

    

It was the day before Mark officially adopts Milo and take the pup home. He’s definitely excited but doubts and worries plagues his mind. He can’t concentrate on their Math discussion. He keeps on ruminating about not being able to take good care of the pup. He sighed and willed his self to be attentive in class. These worries should be minded when he’s at home in his bed. It’s already enough that it is the reason why he’s sleep-deprived, which is apparent during their volleyball practice.

 

“That’s your 27^th sigh for the entire class period.” Mark’s seatmate said. He turns his head to look at the male but Jinyoung is still facing the black board taking notes as if he did not make a rather accurate comment.

 

Looking at Jinyoung right now adds to his list of worries. The younger had been very helpful when he went to the shelter and was even on board with the idea of Mark adopting Milo. Failing to take good care of the pup means disappointing Jinyoung or worse he may get angry, for the pup is very close to Jinyoung’s heart after all. But still he knows backing out is not an option. Milo is such a cute dog and Mark is smitten. He is determined to do his best but intrusive thoughts, although very much unwelcome is still swarming in his mind. This earned the 28^th sigh and also Jinyoung finally looking at his direction.

 

“Okay, that’s really creepy. I usually don’t mind your weirdness but this is borderline creepy and you’re staring at me looking like a constipated dog.” Jinyoung said snapping Mark out of his thoughts.

 

“Oh, umm nothing.” He quickly replied after gathering his thoughts, when he turned to listen to the discussion, their Math teacher is talking about submitting something next meeting and that only made him want to bang his head on his desk so bad.

 

As soon as their teacher leaves, he sees Jaebeom walking towards his desk with a smile on his face suggesting he’s up to no good.

 

“Markie! The lesson is very confusing, I did not catch a thing. I’m going to the cafeteria to buy some sandwich, my brain cells need food. Are you coming?”

 

“No. You can go ahead so you can feed your brain cells.” Mark replied, not even fazed at Jaebeom’s antics when he had witnessed far more embarrassing one’s.

 

“Okay, I’ll go drag Jackson out of his room, then.”

 

Mark hummed in reply, there goes his chance of finding out what the homework is all about and how to do it. He can feel Jinyoung looking at him curiously, he’s usually out and about during breaks because he does not fancy sitting for longer period, so his unusual behavior piques the interest of his seatmate who is glued to his desk when he does not have reasons not to.

 

“Are you worried about the adoption thing?”    

   

And of course, Jinyoung and his annoyingly perceptive self would figure it out. He was about to deny but before he could utter a word, the younger seemed to have sensed his dilemma.

 

“Oh, I think it is. What are you worried about, though?” Jinyoung casually asks while eating his snacks which he always have with him since he must have fancy spending the break period sitting.

 

It took a while for Mark to gather his thoughts, filtering and choosing his words to ensure that what’s on his mind is properly relayed. And though lying and giving excuses is tempting, he opt for telling the truth and just come out clean then pray that Jinyoung will not judge him.

 

“I’m scared.” Mark confessed looking down, he can’t bring his self to look at Jinyoung directly and not stutter. “I’ve been thinking what if I would fail Milo just like how I have failed Ollie.” He paused gathering his thoughts or courage to talk about something that is deeply stored in his heart, a constant ache that resurfaces every now and then. Jinyoung was never pushy, he patiently waits for Mark to talk. “I have a dog Ollie when I was younger, we grew up together and he’s my bestfriend. I don’t have friends outside the guys I play volleyball with as a kid. My parents sent me to a school with the best program so I live far compared to others who were neighbors. Boys my age would tease me about how I’m playing a girly sport and I don’t get it and most importantly I don’t mind. I have Ollie who plays with me and fetches my ball at the park. But as I grew older, I can’t help but think how I must have neglected Ollie or I don’t know, my parents have been telling me I was the best pal to Ollie too but I was not there when he closed his eyes. He waited for me you see, and I, I was just not there. I’m sorry to dump this out of a sudden. I usually ---”

 

Before Mark could start rumbling Jinyoung cuts him off. “Hey, it’s okay. I don’t mind. Actually, I am glad you are being upfront with this, you know.”

 

“Are you sure? Aren’t you worried or something? I’m adopting Milo after all.” Mark replied, looking at Jinyoung directly this time.

 

“I’m actually relieved. You being worried and wanting to give Milo the best home means you are taking this seriously. There are people going to the shelter wanting to adopt does it out of curiosity and for the aesthetics of it and they came unprepared with the responsibility. So, it’s okay if you’re feeling nervous just as long as you’re sure and know what you’re getting into.” Jinyoung said looking at him kindly and he felt eased knowing that the other understood where he’s coming from.

 

Mark nods at the other male, “I’m glad, I did not really look at it in that point of view. But yeah, I’m really certain about adopting. I really like Milo. I’m just having doubts about my credibility.”

 

“Is it okay to ask, what do you mean about not being there for Ollie?” Jinyoung asked softly not wanting the question to sound intrusive.

 

“Hmmm, I was at another State, playing for finals. I rush home after the game but I was too late still.”

 

“Hey, It’s not your fault. You did try your best to be with him. You need to let go of that guilt you have with not being there for Ollie. I was not there to witness your bond but I’m sure your family was there to witness how much you mean to each other and you made each other happy being there when no one else is.”

 

“Yeah, he’s my bestfriend. Thank you, it’s weird hearing these words from someone other than my family. Like you said not everyone understands how much Ollie means to me and how he shaped me into the me that I am right now, it’s hard dealing with kids who seem to have it to bully and tease you as their day to day goal on my own but I have Ollie. He barks and chases the mean kids away for me.” Mark can’t help but smile remembering those days playing with Ollie at the park. “So yeah, others don’t really understand how big Ollie’s role is in my life, they would just say it’s just a dog you can adopt or buy a new one.” It’s so easy opening up to Jinyoung, he doesn’t know what prompted this onslaught of honest words and deep feelings but Mark knew he needed this, needed to let it all out in order to really accept the changes in his life.

 

“But, he’s irreplaceable.” Jinyoung cautiously supplied and Mark nods in agreement. “Mark, I think you’re not just worried about being responsible enough to Milo. You’re also feeling like you’re failing Ollie because you’re replacing him.”

 

Mark was suddenly speechless, he stared at Jinyoung who’s looking back at him with caring eyes. “ I-i-i haven’t really - -”

 

“Hey, it’s okay. Listen. Whatever it is, you are not replacing Ollie. He was with you during the time when you needed his company the most. He walked with you and helped you and seeing you like this makes me realize how important Ollie is and I think it’s safe to say you’re important to him too. I’m sure those barking and chasing away the mean kids is a testament to how he doesn’t want to see you sad and hurt. But it’s time to welcome a new companion then, that would walk with you just like how Ollie did, that would protect you this time around.”

 

Mark did not realize how he needed to hear those words because he’s choked up with emotions. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes to contain his tears because he doesn’t want to cause a scene in their classroom also to cause an unwanted stares and concern from a few of their classmates who’s in the room with them. Jinyoung, bless the sympathetic soul that he is rubs his back gently but also discreetly to not raise anyone’s brows out of curiosity. Their small moment was broken by the ringing of the school bell indicating the end of their break period.

 

Mark managed to utter a, “Thank you Jin, I really did need to hear that.” which Jinyoung responded with a genuine smile.

 

Jaebeom entered their classroom with Jackson in tow soon after, they made a beeline towards Mark’s table dumping some snacks and a couple of banana milk. Before he could ask what is this about, his friend’s cheeky expressions reveal that they are up to no good.

 

“Jackson made a dramatic show about how you’re not with us because you’re sick at the cafeteria so you know your fangirls - - - “

 

“and fanboys gave us some snacks for you to replenish your energy and fight your sickness.” Jackson adds cutting Jaebeom’s words. They’re really a duo of chaos, Mark’s sure of that.

 

“See, Mark, they’re very sweet and generous so you better eat this all up and get well soon.” Jackson declared, very much proud of his antics then goes out of their room after to go to his homeroom with a cheeky goodbye to him and a cheerful one to Jinyoung who just shakes his head in disbelief. With Jackson gone, he turned his gaze to Jaebeom asking for further explanation.

 

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. Also, we helped you eat some of the snacks you know because you won’t be able to finish them all for sure!”

 

“Okay fine, thank you and get out of my sight.” Mark says with a sigh.

 

“You’re welcome!” Jaebeom replied with a laugh in his voice, fleeing the scene quickly and walks towards his desk.

 

Mark turned his gaze towards Jinyoung who’s seemingly entertained with the turn of events.

 

“I always feel like I am in a front row at a comedy show watching all of you being a chaotic mess.”

 

“I feel like I am in one too.” Mark replied

 

“Do you perhaps want to go shop for Milo’s things? I know a few good places to buy those stuff.”

 

Mark’s face brightened at the idea. He was actually at the crossroad about asking his friends who he thinks does not know a thing or two about affordable pet finds. Also liking the idea of spending time with Jinyoung outside their school.

 

“I would love that, please! Did you see Jaebeom and Jackson? I don’t know if we would accomplish anything other than a dog food that is probably organic enough for Jackson’s liking for sure.”

 

“Yes of course, I’ll wait for you outside the gym after my club activities or you wait for me there if you finish practice early. I’m doing this to ensure Milo is safe from your weirdness.”

 

“Hey! Correction, from Jacks and Beom’s weirdness I’m pretty cool myself.”

 

“Let’s see about that.”

 

“Do you want choco pie?”

 

“Are you bribing me? You’re not allowed to eat. Break time is over.” Jinyoung responds taking out his textbook for the next class.

 

“Well, does not hurt to try, geez some president you are.”

 

“I can hear you and also see you eating!”

 

 

“Sit!” Mark instructs with his hands pointing downward in front of Milo while the other is holding the snacks. They’re at the park near their neighborhood walking Milo and also inserting little training here and there. Milo immediately responds eyeing the snack at Mark’s hands. “Good boy.” He supplied giving Milo the snacks while ruffling the pup’s soft fur afterwards.

 

It’s been a month since he adopted Milo from the shelter and thankfully the pup’s seems to be adjusting well. Jinyoung visiting him and playing with him very now and then also helped since he was someone the pup’s familiar with. Sometimes, he thinks that Milo likes Jinyoung more than him to be honest but he doesn’t harbor any ill feelings with that, and if the reason is a mystery to him then it is a mystery no amount of prodding and suggestive stares from Jackson and Jaebeom can fix that. It does not help that his parents somehow had caught up with his friends’ antics since they’ve been asking him about Jinyoung. Not to mention that they’ve also gotten closer with the younger male when he comes over to play with Milo after school sometimes. It is also the very reason why he’s meeting the raven haired male at the park this Saturday morning. He can actually see Jinyoung walking towards him. The younger male looks so soft in his dark green hoodie.

 

Milo was quick to sprint towards Jinyoung as soon as he saw him walking towards them, wagging his tail. Looking at them, Mark can’t help thinking if Jinyoung considers him as a friend now. Sure, they have hangouts after school when he’s done with practice and Jinyoung with his club activities and school paper responsibilities but it all involved Milo. Still though Jinyoung does not bat an eyelash now when they sit with him at lunch. But even with this time spent together Jinyoung never opens a topic about himself. All that he’s learned about him is based on his observation.  And Mark thinks he’s getting better at it these days. It’s weird how everyone at school sees Jinyoung as the aloof and cold-hearted prince, and since they like the persona he somewhat gives off it is also safe that everyone has a soft spot for him or a huge crush. Now, that he’s somewhat closer to him, he can’t fathom the idea of Jinyoung being cold-hearted because that guy carries dog and cat treats in his backpack’s water bottle pouch. And if you ask the old Mark about why he did not see this before let’s just say that Jinyoung himself is distracting. He was snap out of his thoughts upon hearing Jinyoung’s little laugh.

 

“Don’t you think Milo likes you more than me?” Mark voices out, Jinyoung is walking towards him with Milo’s leash in his hands.

 

“Don’t be silly, of course he likes me better.” Jinyoung replied, sitting at the bench beside Mark. “Here Milo, catch!” Jinyoung throws one of the toy’s they bought when they shop together and the pup was quick to heed Jinyoung’s instruction, running to fetch the toy.

 

“Well, I’m the next favorite then I guess.”

 

“I think Jackson’s giving you a competition on that one, with all the treats he’s bribing Milo with.” Jinyoung bites back, the corner of his eyes crinkling from smiling.

 

“Thank you for that valuable intel, I’m banning that guy from Milo’s line of sight.” The chuckle from Jinyoung’s mouth sounded music to his ears. If anyone from school who thinks of Jinyoung as someone aloof would see him right now, he thinks they would have fainted on the spot.

 

“Hey,” Mark starts, getting the other’s attention “Can I ask you a question?” Jinyoung hummed in response, still playing fetch with Milo. “I was just really wondering why you can’t adopt Milo or any of his siblings. I think you’re very much overqualified to raise one.”

 

Jinyoung waited for Milo to run towards the toy again before replying, “I can’t keep them, my Dad is allergic to dog’s fur.”

 

“That actually makes sense, but you’re volunteering at the shelter, aren’t you just bringing him fur back home?”

 

“Well, I bring some clothes with me to the shelter then I would drop by at the laundry mat to wash the clothes I wear inside the shelter before going back home.”     

 

“I applaud your dedication then, Park Jinyoung.”

 

“That’s why I quit volunteering once Milo got adopted, I love all the angels at the shelter but with the senior year fast approaching, I don’t think I can handle that kind of schedule.”

 

“You must really adore animals then for you to do all of that for years.”

 

“Hmmm, I don’t know. Youngjae just guilt tripped me to do it with him at first though.”

 

Before he could ask further about anything, Jinyoung is now busy playing tug of war with Milo. The poor fluff must’ve been tired of fetching the toy and refuses to give it back to him. So Youngjae’s the name of that friend Jinyoung talks about when they were at the shelter then. He rakes his brain with anyone named Youngjae at school, but he came up with nothing. He admits that he’s not the friendly kind at school and is not good with names but still this Youngjae is Jinyoung’s friend so he would’ve made an appearance if he goes to the same school with them. That concludes Youngjae not being their schoolmate then.

 

The following week is a blur of strained muscles, tons of energy drinks and rolls of kinesio tapes. They just finished the first leg of the Interhigh Meet and it was tough. Still, they were able to clench a spot for the semifinals which is scheduled next weekend. Today is Monday that gives them 4 more days to prepare and train. Although they want to celebrate for qualifying the semifinal round, they know that the competition will get even more challenging since they would be facing teams outside their district with similar standings.  

 

“Listen boys!” Coach Choi instructs as he gathered everyone. Classes were long over and they’re still at the gym practicing and polishing all the areas they came short of during the qualifying round. “Congratulations again for making it to the Semis!” The boys hollered and cheered at that. “But we know this also means facing stronger teams, though I am rest assured especially with the performance we had. Even I am really amazed by the even distributions and smart placement of plays, Mark you really played well.”

 

“I’m just doing my part Coach. It’s all thanks to the stable reception and digs.” Mark responds, ruffling Jimin’s hair who’s beside him.

 

“Of course, our Jimin is the best libero.” The male addressed just shyly giggled earning endearing smiles from the other team members. “But everyone really did great. I know it’s the first meet for some of you too. Our middles are exceptional with regards to the blocking department plus the amazing numbers coming from the wing spikers. So, when I said I am really satisfied with your performance team I really mean it. Also, the Captain did amazing, not losing his temper.”

 

“Coach!” Jaebeom whined while the rest of them laughed, “Why would I lose my temper when everyone’s on their best performance.”

 

“Well then, we still have a few more days to prepare but I don’t want you guys overworking yourselves. Please be mindful and careful during practice, we don’t want any injuries plus I don’t want to go to the match with exhausted players, understand?”

 

A chorus of “Yes Coach!” echoes at the school gym. “Good! Now get out of my sight and go home! No funny business!”

 

 

Days passes by rather quickly, the next thing Mark knows it’s already Saturday, the day of the scheduled match. He’s sitting in the school bus driving towards the School that will host this year’s Interhigh Games.

 

“Hey, are you nervous?” Jaebeom elbows Mark to get his attention since he’s watching the scenery outside with music blasting from his airpods.

 

Mark turns his head towards his friend, “Hmmm, not really. Just thinking about some stuff.” Before Jaebeom asks more he shoves some snacks towards the other male, which were given to him by some students who Jackson dubs as his fans before he boarded the bus. Though thankful for their support and thoughtfulness it’s kind of weird for him since he’s just really playing the sport he likes.  

 

His mind keeps drifting towards the conversation they had at lunch the day before.

 

“Hey Jinyoung, the school paper will cover our game right?” Jaebeom asks, Jinyoung is the paper’s editor-in-chief.

 

The male addressed nods then he answered Jaebeom after. “I’m going to cover your event.”

 

“Really? But you don’t really do this right? I mean you don’t like missing classes and since other club members willingly agrees to get the job done.” Mark supplied.

 

“Yeah, but I guess I want to do it this time since you’ll be playing against Youngjae’s School and I can meet him then.”

 

Jackson bless his soul dropped the drink he’s holding, flooding their table with his energy drink.

 

“Aish! Jacks! What the heck!” Mark yells, grabbing some tissues to wipe the table. But Jackson was kind of frozen in his seat, mouth agape like his in disbelief. Jaebeom laughed his off while Jinyoung is smirking looking at the blonde guy. “What’s wrong with him?” Mark asks to the other two.

 

“He malfunctioned.” Jinyoung responds, helping mark wiping the table clean.

 

“Is he going to watch the game?” Jackson asks after the little commotion he caused in their table. Jaebeom is still laughing but he’s texting someone in his phone, probably sharing Jackson’s dilemma to Bambam.

 

“Who? Oh, Youngjae? probably.” Jinyoung’s nonchalant answer seemed to scare Jackson with how his face contorts awkwardly. Jinyoung sensing Mark’s confusion adds, “He’s my friend, the one I accompanied to volunteer at the shelter.”

 

That’s why the name sounds familiar, Jackson and Jaebeom seemed to be acquainted with this Youngjae but before he could ask the bell rings signaling the end of lunch period.

 

He was brought to the present with Coach Choi’s loud voice demanding everyone’s attention. He did not even realize that the bus has stopped already and they’re at the destination. Their Coach gave them final instructions consisting of behaving well and to not cause trouble but also to play their best and show them how they prepared for this.

 

All that is plaguing his mind was forgotten as he gets off the bus. He’s got a game to play and win plus the nervous energy in the air helped him grounded and focused with the event that is about to unfold.

 

The team busied themselves with stretching and drills as soon as they were allowed to. Though they’re generally a fun-loving group they’re also driven to qualify for the final match wanting to redeem their team finishing with silver last year. The buzz about a new setter from the States also boost the team morale since other schools were kind of intimidated with that not to mention their amazing stats at the previous round.

 

Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttttttttttttttt!

 

The whistle blows signaling the end of the match. After shaking hands with the opponent and all the after-match etiquette Mark dashed towards the restroom, he really needs to relieve himself.

 

He’s now washing his hands when a blue haired male enters the restroom but instead of going towards the cubicle he stood behind Mark.

 

“Hey! Congrats! I’ll be rooting for your team this finals.” The guy says with a beaming smile that reminds Mark of sunshine and rainbows, seriously it felt like you can’t get angry or even say no to him when he smiles.

 

“Oh, thank you.” Mark starts, noticing that the other is wearing their opponent’s school uniform he adds. “Your school’s Volleyball Team made it really hard for us to pass through.”

 

“Come on! Don’t be humble dude, they were not able to even stretched the game up to 5 sets.” The other replied chuckling and shaking his head. “Though I must say your team is pretty solid this year, must be because they have found the setter that compliments them.

 

Mark’s confused as to why the guy seems to know things, his confusion must have been evident in his face since the other seemed to realize something and murmuring about how rude of him to not introduce his self first.

 

“I am not sure if you have heard about me, but I’m sure as hell I have heard a lot about you. I’m Youngjae by the way, Choi Youngjae.”

 

“You’re Youngjae that friend of Jinyoung.” Mark gasps in surprise, he was so focused with the match that he totally forgot about Jinyoung and the friend studying in this school.

 

“The one and only.” Youngjae replied, smiling smugly at him. “So, you actually heard about me huh, that jerk has been very amusing lately.”

 

“Well, um I’m Mark.” He said as an introduction merely out of formality than actually informing the other.

 

“Nice to finally meet you.” Youngjae said, extending his arm for a hand shake which Mark complied uttering a small you too. “Actually, is it okay to humor our little club for an interview? You see, our club interviews student athletes across all programs and it just happens that you won the poll for the volleyball players this time posted at our club page.”

 

Mark made a mistake of looking at the others’ pleading eyes, it’s now impossible refuse the simple request so he just nods his head yes.

 

“Thank you!” Youngjae looks very much delighted, he extends his phone to Mark, asking for his number so that he could arrange the interview. “It’s a good decision to ask directly to you, I know Jinyoung would not allow me to ask if he’s here.”

 

He returns the phone and was about to ask Youngjae why but their conversation was then interrupted by a loud voice calling for Mark.

 

“Mark!” Jackson’s voice echoed as he made his entrance, Mark mentally face palmed at how embarrassing his friend is. “Here you are, I was ready to plunge you out of the toilet bowl, dude you took so long! If I didn’t know any better, I would think you did that one-two play at the end because you can’t hold your pee.” The blonde’s rumbling as he walked closer to where the other two is, Mark shakes his head in embarrassment while Youngjae laughs.

 

“Shut it Wang, I’m just talking to Youngjae here.”

 

His friend seemed to froze at the mention of the name and as if on cue Youngjae turned around to address the intruder with a smile.  

 

“Hi Seunie! It’s been a while, sorry for not greeting you guys before the match just don’t want to bother your concentration is all.”

“U-um H-hi! Y-yeah it’s been a while.” Jackson stutters looking everywhere except for the male he is addressing.

 

“As much as I want to catch up, it’s weird to be doing all that in the restroom.” Youngjae supplies while Jackson still frozen in his spot.

 

“Yeah right, let’s go to the bleachers.” Mark replies dragging Jackson out who’s looking and acting weird, not that his concerned cos when did the other act like a normal human really.

 

The team is still celebrating hugging each other as he approached their bench, when the boys noticed he’s back he was quickly enveloped with sweaty limbs and louder cheer. And this moment right now is one of the reasons his thankful to his past self for taking the risk of moving to the other part of the world because he found a new family and the other one is sitting at the bleachers behind them giving him a smile with crinkling eyes and a thumbs up.

 

 

 “You really went to that interview Youngjae arrange.” Jinyoung says as he settles at his desk.

 

“Good Morning to you too.” Mark replies

 

“It’s just morning and nothing is good. Why are both of you so secretive? What did you talk about?”

 

“I forgot your hatred towards Monday mornings.” Jinyoung glared at him with his response, clearly not tolerating his early in the morning.

 

He promised Youngjae that he’ll do the interview when he asked him at the semi-final games, it’s been a week since the interhigh ended with their team winning the championship. Their school was in a festive mood with the Team’s accomplishment, finally beating their rival high school. Youngjae was very patient with waiting for his schedule to clear up since it was really hectic as they prepare and train for the finals so when he got a weekend with no extra training, he contacted Youngjae and they finally meet for the interview at a cafe. He was nervous days prior but when they finally meet the blue haired male was so easy to talk to that at some point, he forgot that it’s an interview. And when he thinks about it now, Youngjae said it was for his club where they interview student athlete, but the questions he asked about volleyball were just roughly 3 out of 10.

 

“Actually,” He starts eyes locking at Jinyoung who’s still glaring at him waiting for his questions to be answered. “He asks like 3 questions about volleyball I think and others were sort of unrelated to the sport more like personal one and when I manage to ask him that it’s kind of unrelated to the student-athlete life he just shrugged and told me that the interview already ended and we’re just hanging out then.”

 

“That’s why you should have told me so that I could come with you.” The raven-haired reply, he’s not glaring anymore. “What unrelated questions he threw at you then?

 

“Just think of the questions you would ask when doing a background check.” He replied, to Mark’s relief the school bell rang and since Jinyoung is their Class President he needs to check who’s absent and who’s late but his eyes have a certain glint in them like his not done grilling Mark.

 

He shouldn’t have told Jinyoung about meeting Youngjae, but what’s done is done so he’ll just deflect all the nosy questions that his seatmate asks and hope that he’ll lost interest. He got suspicious when Youngjae stopped asking questions about volleyball but he still went through it and indulge him with information since the questions is kind of endearing too. When their topic reached to Mark adopting Milo the other seemed to drop his guard and they both gush about their dogs. He learned that Youngjae also adopted a white Maltese he named Coco when he volunteered at the shelter with Jinyoung. Youngjae used to attend their school hence why Jackson and Jaebeom knows him but he needed to transfer schools due to their family business a year before Mark moved to Korea. As their conversation lengthens, Youngjae confessed that he’s actually part of their school’s cooking club and that there’s actually no interview. It’s just that he wants to know more about Mark and it’s his way of looking out for Jinyoung. He was worried about Jinyoung when he transferred leaving the other alone knowing that it’s really hard for his bestfriend to open up and make friends. It’s been a year so he kind of lost hope that Jinyoung will actually make new friends but then one day he talked about the guys and how he’s been hanging out with him. Youngjae added that he’s happy hearing this from Jinyoung but still he wanted to make sure his not bad news.

 

“You’re a good friend, looking out and worrying for him even if you’re the one who’s going to attend a new school.” Mark says, taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“It’s a second nature to me when it comes to Jinyoung I think I would always worry like I’m his mom.” The other laughs before continuing, “I’ve known him since we were snotty little kids running and playing at our neighborhood’s playground, we’ve been each other’s support system and ally so I think it’s natural to look out for my bestfriend.”

 

After hours of spacing out, staring at the board while their teacher talks about  battles and heroes who were long dead, it’s finally their lunch break. Mark is waiting for Jackson and Jaebeom at the hallway reading that poem Jinyoung wrote yet again.

 

To.Star

  Park Jinyoung

 

The feeling autumn left

The chilly wind that hints winter is coming soon

I can still feel your warmth

So I know fall and winter would be painful

 

The one I love without a reason is disappearing

Remembering our memories I'll cherish them

My time with you I realized was a treasure

My Love, you're leaving me now

 

 

The river reflects off so many stars

Among one of them is a pretty little star

This star can get a little close

But once it drifts, it's gone forever

 

The playground we used to play at

Now makes it even harder to forget you

The young me is a warrior now I don't have courage

Instead of supporting you, I now write poems

 

He must have read this poem for a hundred of times already even his friends would testify to that, and he have always wondered who is Jinyoung’s star, the one he dedicates the poem to, the one who left. His mind supplies a name though and pictures a smile that reminds him of sunshine.

 

Lunch was a chaotic affair, Jinyoung is busy with school paper stuff so they were left to their own crazy devices. Jaebeom is arguing with someone from the table next to theirs, arguing who loves cola more. And that somehow is measurable by who can drink a whole can of it the fastest according to Jackson of course. He’s watching the event unfold before him with Jimin snickering at his side. Apparently, it was Taehyung ‘Jimin’s self-proclaimed soulmate’ proving to Jaebeom that he loves cola the most.

 

 

 

Mark is just lounging in their living room, it’s finally winter break. After exhausting trainings preparing for Interhigh to grueling end of the term exams it’s finally winter break and he vowed to do nothing but stare at their ceiling and not move.

 

“You know that you look really ridiculous right now, right?” Mark’s Mom states as she passes by the living room. Mark did not reply no matter how ridiculous or hideous he looks right now he will honor his vow and yes, he’s not moving. Soon after her Mom settles at the couch beside him carrying a plate of cookies she offered to Mark.

 

“Mom, if you were to write a poem where would you take inspiration from?” it’s been weeks since and Mark still caught up with Jinyoung’s poem. His friends have been looking at him like he’s grown two heads because of him spacing out more often at school. He’s just lucky it’s exams season and everyone is on the rush so they did not mind him that much since he’s exam scores is nothing that should merit worrying.

 

“I can write a poem thinking of the people I love, or the things I adore, events that left an impression, or even just by looking at that stupid mini wine bottles your Dad loves to collect. You know how I despise those little bottles because of how they accumulate dust in our space but your Dad is so fond of them.” His mom sighs looking at the said bottles displayed in their living room. “But you know, I would be having the sun as my inspiration but the reader would always interpret it in their own way. You see, the phrase “the sun shines” can mean different to everyone regardless of how the author actually means. It can be a literal translation the sun is shining or it could mean a new day, a beginning, or warmth to others. We have different perspectives and you can’t just assume something out of someone. Ask them and stop over thinking.” She ruffles Mark’s hair pinching the male’s cheek after. “When did my son grow up huh? Here! Give this to Jinyoung.” His mom passes a container filled with cookies to him.         

 

“But I’m not meeting Jin today though.” He replied still taking the container in his hands.

 

“Well now you do and bring that gift you got for him its accumulating dust in your room already.” His mother cheekily replied winking at the flustered Mark.

 

He texts Jinyoung then asking if he’s free and he got an address in response, it would be the first time going to Jinyoung’s place, they usually hangout at his or outside.       

 

 

“Sorry, I really don’t like going out during this season, it’s too cold for my liking.” Jinyoung shares as he opens the door for Mark. “Come in, you can hang your coat here.”

“It’s fine, I should be the one apologizing for coming in short notice. You might be busy with something.” He replied following Jinyoung inside his place.

 

“Why would I be busy, I’m literally doing nothing just staring into place. I’m having hot chocolate. Do you want one?” 

 

“Yeah sure, thanks.” he settles on the couch while Jinyoung fetches the drinks in what he assumed to be their kitchen. He let his eyes roamed around the place, it looks pristine with black couches and grey walls. It felt like a bachelor’s pad with how the place were decorated.

 

“Here.” Jinyoung offers a steaming mug, the heat warming his frozen hands.

 

“Oh, mom asked me to give this to you.”

 

“Cookies, tell your Mom I said thanks. Her cookies is the best. What is this?” Jinyoung asks taking a wrapped box out of the paper bag.

 

“Gift? You know it’s Christmas.” Mark replied, taking a sip of the hot chocolate to avoid explaining.

 

“Thank you, you should have told me so I could get you one too.”

 

“No, it’s okay.”

 

“Can I open it?”

 

“Yeah go ahead.” Jinyoung carefully opens the gift, gentle enough to not ruin the wrapper, Mark chuckled looking at the other. “You should tear the wrap you know or you won’t be receiving any gifts in the future.

 

“Not true, I do this everytime and I still receive one every year. How did you know I love hoodies? My mom always gifts them to me every occasion she thinks worthy of one.” Jinyoung says hugging the hoodie, “it’s so soft, thank you Mark.”

 

“You’re welcome, you always were one. But I might have also over-analyzed at some point, I thought you’re hiding some marks or something because you always wear hoodies, jackets, and cardigan. This is the first time seeing you wearing a tee baring your arms free.” he utters sheepishly rubbing his nape.

 

Jinyoung looks down at his arms then looks up at Mark chuckling afterwards realizing what the other means. “You’re really something.” The other remarks between laughs. “You can just ask me. Well, I love them and also need them. I can’t stand the cold temperature so I always wear one. See, the reason I told you I don’t like going out this season. The very reason why my Mom gifts me all the sort of clothing with sleeves, and I love wearing them because she took the time of picking and buying it for me.”

 

Mark nods, “That actually makes sense. Your Mom seemed lovely”

 

“Yeah she is. And I find it comforting too, wearing them felt like my Mom is hugging me.”

 

“Are you alone here?” Mark asks.

 

“Yeah, my dad is at work.”

 

“What-” he’s about to ask what about your mom but then suddenly everything clicks like how their place looks like and Jinyoung never sharing anything about his mom until today.

 

“My parents divorced and I’ve been living with my dad since then.” Jinyoung states. “Stop looking sorry or something, you did not offend me. It’s just how it is and it’s been ages so it’s fine.”

 

Mark smiles looking at the other male, if Jinyoung is okay then he should not act like he’s sorry it would feel like he’s invalidating him. He silently thanks his Mom for all the anecdotes he was forced to listen. “Your dad works even if it’s Christmas? I mean it’s not a major holiday here but you know still.”

 

“He’s a doctor and he’s needed there.”

 

“How long can you tolerate the cold?”

 

“Hmmm why?”

 

********

 

“Mom! I’m home!” Mark yells as he steps inside their home.

 

“Oh, Jinyoung dear. You’re here. You can go play with Milo. Dinner will be ready in a few.” Mark’s mom says ushering Jinyoung inside.

 

“I’m your son!” Mark whines.

 

Christmas Dinner is considered as a family event in Mark’s household. Ever since he was young his parents have made extra effort preparing food and gifts to celebrate the holidays. So, it was odd for him when Jaebeom said that Christmas in Korea is usually celebrated by going out on a date with a partner. He brought Jinyoung with him because it does not sit right with him to have Jinyoung celebrate the holiday alone no matter how much the younger assures him that it’s fine. As he watched them, Jinyoung laughing along to his dad’s jokes and his mom urging him to eat more he feels this is way better.

 

 

A day before New Year Mark finds himself walking towards the cafe Youngjae and him went. Jinyoung texted him the day before, asking him to hangout which he finds out of character for the male since he now knows how the other dislikes going out in this weather. When he dragged him out to his house last Christmas, he was met by a grumbling Jinyoung complaining about how cold it was when he was bundled like a new born child. But still, he agreed to meet the younger besides the fact that he can’t actually say no to him.

 

Jinyoung was not yet there when he arrived at the cafe so he ordered hot chocolate for the both of them and he settled at a seat by the window. He was about to text the other to let him know but someone sits in front of him. He roamed his eyes around the cafe and noticing that there’s only a couple of customers around so why did this stranger sits in his table.

 

“I’m sorry but I’m waiting for someone.” He says informing the stranger.

 

“Yes, I know. That’s me.” The stranger replies, crossing his arms around his chest. He glances at the mug placed in front of him that Mark bought for Jinyoung. “Oh, you got me hot choco! Nice! You just earned 2 points from me.”

 

Mark is now confused. The stranger is sipping Jinyoung’s hot choco. “Really dude! Who are you? That’s rude.”

 

“Oh! I texted you last night, that’s why you’re here.”

 

“Jinyoung did, and clearly you’re not him.”

 

The other chuckles, “That’s me, I used Hyung’s phone.”

 

“Hyung?”

 

“I’m Yugyeom! Jinyoung hyung’s younger brother. Nice to meet you!”

 

“I’m Mark.”

 

“I know.”

First Youngjae ambushing him to see if he’s any bad news to Jinyoung and now this, Jinyoung’s younger brother. What’s with them and why can’t they ask someone to hangout like a normal human being? Mark sighs, “Why can’t you ask me to hangout like a normal being? I’m not going to scare you away.”

 

“You won’t but Hyung will so this is better.” The other replied happily drinking his hot chocolate.

 

“How old are you?”

 

“Younger than you, can I call you Hyung?”

 

“Yeah sure kid, I should’ve known Jinyoung would never ask to hangout when it’s practically frozen outside.”

 

“Yeah you should, but I’m happy you did not connect the dots I have free choco.”

 

“So Yugyeom, I did not meet you when I went to your house last week.”

 

“That’s because I’m not there, I live with Mom. But I always spend New Year with Dad and Hyung. New Year is more fun in Seoul than in Jinhae. Youngjae-hyung told me my hyung made new friends and I’m really excited to meet them, but hyung don’t want to so I find other ways.”

 

“If Jinyoung finds out you’re dead.”

 

“He won’t, right?” Yugyeom replied giving Mark a pleading look. “Hyung, you play volleyball, right? That’s amazing my cousin plays the sport too.”

 

“Cousin?”

 

“Yeah! Wait you’re in the same team as him!”

 

“I am? You’re telling me Jinyoung has a cousin in our team?”

 

“Jimin hyung! Park Jimin!”

 

“You’re related? Why did I not know that?”

 

“I don’t know, why would you not? I think everyone knows though.”

 

“Park Yugyeom! You’re dead!” A voice pipes up behind Mark making Yugyeom’s eyes big in surprise then fear. Mark turns his head and he saw Jinyoung glaring at his younger brother with a smiling Jimin beside him.

 

********

 

“I’m so sorry about him.” Jinyoung says watching Yugyeom and Jimin exit the cafe. “He told me he’ll be hanging out with Jimin here, but then Jimin went to our place asking for Yugyeom since he’s not replying to his texts. I thought they missed each other but then Jimin said they don’t have plans. He just went to check if Yugyeom wants to go with them to the theatre.” Jinyoung explains.

 

“It’s okay Jin, I had fun, he’s a very excitable kid.”

 

Jinyoung smiled at that, “Yeah he is, he’s like a puppy.” The raven-haired chuckles. “How did he rope you into this?”

 

“He texted me using your phone asking to meet here.”

 

“God, I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

 

“It’s fine really. I did not know you were cousins with Jimin.”

 

“Why? Everyone at school knows?”

 

“No one told me though?”

 

“Well we are, anyways, what did that brat tattle?”

 

“Just that he’s you’re younger brother, lives with your mom in Jinhae.”

 

“I’m 10 years old and he’s just 6 when our parents divorced so he went with mom and naturally I stayed with my dad.”

 

“Naturally? I mean you’re still a kid yourself though and since your dad is a doctor, he must’ve been busy.”

 

“Hmm but if I won’t stay with Dad. He’ll have no one with him and I think it’s not fair. Hey let’s get you home, I’ll walk you home and it’s about to get dark that means it’s going to be even colder outside.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“Shut it, Yugyeom must’ve been really annoying so I’m doing a good deed in return.”

 

 

********

 

 

They’ve been walking for about a minute, the cafe is just a 15-minute walk from Mark’s house but he wished that it was a 30 minute walk or more instead, not wanting this moment to end. It’s been hard denying to everyone and especially to his self that he does not have any feelings for Jinyoung. He’s walking with Jinyoung shoulders brushing and arms linked, the younger insisted about walking within close proximity with each other because of the cold weather. He feels like his heart is going to beat out of his body, Jinyoung’s sweet smell makes him dizzy and listening to his voice talking about a book he recently read brings warmth to his freezing ears. So, in conclusion, he likes Jinyoung; likes the crinkles in his eyes; his laugh even if Yugyeom says it’s the worst laugh he heard Mark thinks otherwise; his kind heart, his intelligence; he’s an amazing person and so much more. And here comes the dilemma of confessing. Is he going to burden Jinyoung with this new found feelings he has for the Class President? But Jinyoung likes Youngjae right? Wait, his mom told him about not assuming and just ask instead. He stopped walking making Jinyoung automatically halt in his steps too, he noticed belatedly that they have reach the park so they have about 5-minute walk left.

 

“Jin, your poem, the one pinned in your club’s bulletin board?”

 

“The one you always read whenever you pass by?”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“I can see you inside our club room.”

 

“Really?” Mark’s flustered with the new found information, that is so embarrassing. Jinyoung knows he’s been reading the poem over and over.

 

“It’s cute, you look concentrated scrunching your eyebrows reading the words.” Jinyoung supplies chuckling at Mark’s now red stained face.

 

“Who’s the star?”

 

“Who do you think it is?”

 

“I don’t know? Youngjae? Mom told me I should just ask and not assume.”

 

“Mother’s knows best really huh, it’s not Youngjae silly. You’re surely oblivious, have you not seen me teasing Jackson enjoying myself watching him lose his mind everytime I mention Youngjae’s name?

 

“What?”

 

“Are you for real? You’re asking me why you don’t know things when you’re this oblivious? You’re like literally there everytime Jaebeom and I .”’

 

“That actually explains a lot! He can’t even talk straight during semis when we met Youngjae.”

 

Jinyoung snickers shaking his head, “My mom, her name is Byeol.”

 

“To.Star, to byeol? It’s for her.” Mark utters looking at Jinyoung who’s eyes was glued to sky.”

 

“Hmm” Jinyoung hums confirming Mark’s statement. “Mark? Do you like me?”

 

Mark was stunned hearing those words from Jinyoung. He doesn’t know what to do, of course he’s sure he likes Jinyoung, so much.

 

“Don’t act surprised. You’re oblivious but you wear your heart on your sleeves. Actually, I’m not certain about it but looking at your flustered face right now confirms that.”

 

“I’m that obvious huh? Well, I’ll just come clean then. I like you Park Jinyoung, so what are you gonna do about it?”

 

A sad smile bloomed in Jinyoung’s face, he’s looks teary eyed and unsure. For the first time Mark saw Jinyoung hesitate. The Class President closed his eyes and when he opened it, he zeroed his gaze towards Mark. The hesitance it shows before is now replaced with determination. Mark doesn’t know what to think but there’s hope blooming in his heart, maybe just maybe he’ll be given a chance to read the book at the top of the shelf, maybe he’ll be allowed to use the ladder to access the book in the first place. 

 

“I can’t, you can’t. I’m sorry Mark I don’t keep love around.”

 

“Don’t keep love around.” Mark echoes, “Do you know there’s a song by Troye Sivan with that title, DKLA it’s like your song.” Mark smiles, returning Jinyoung’s gaze, he wants to just curl underneath the safety of his blankets and cry but he doesn’t want Jinyoung to feel even bad because he understands where that hesitation and stubbornness is coming from, Jinyoung is scared. “Jin I’m oblivious yeah but you forgot I’m also persistent and very much competitive, I’m a champion setter, the play maker inside the court. So, no worries we’ll have you listen to another song, Mine by Taylor Swift.”

 

 

********

 

Jinyoung just dropped Mark at his house, he was about to insist and stand his ground about not wanting any non-platonic development to them but their conversation was interrupted by a call from his younger brother who’s really testing his patience this day. Yugyeom called to inform him that he needs to drive them to Jinhae tonight.

 

“Why are we going to Jinhae again?” Jinyoung asks to no one in particular, he just want answers.

 

“Auntie’s restaurant was supposedly booked tonight for a birthday celebration but the celebrant’s grandfather was rushed to the hospital an hour before the event. They said the patient is stable now but the family is not in the mood to celebrate anymore because of the scare so Aunt Byeol called us to consume the food.” Jimin kindly explains to the older, he’s the one sitting beside Jinyoung at the front seat while his brother is busy discussing some online games with Taehyung at the back.

 

“Jiminie, when your teacher asks you what is attach to the hip just give yours and Tae’s name as an example and they’ll understand.”

 

The younger giggles at Jinyoung’s remarks, “What about you and Mark hyung?”

 

“What about him?” Jinyoung replies glancing at the other for a split second, “Stop distracting me, I’m driving.”

 

“Mark hyung is distracting huh.” Jimin replied cheekily.

 

“You’ve always been throwing pointing eyes at me during lunch, I know what you’re thinking Jimin. No.”

 

Jimin not listening to him as usual continues, “Mark hyung is really nice. You know as a teammate he’s the one I respect and trust the most inside the court.”

 

“Jaebeom would not like that Jimin, he’s your Team Captain.”

 

“It’s fine, he feels the same way.” Jimin replies, “Mark hyung got this air around him like he’s got it, he’s got you just get the ball in the air and he’ll manage to create play that would land a score. So, when we’re playing, the team is at ease. When we make mistakes, he always assures us and he never hold it against us.”

 

“You speak highly of him, do you like Mark hyung Chim?” Taehyung pipes up behind them. He’s been listening to the two talk for a while, Yugyeom is fast asleep in his seat.

 

“I’m selling Mark hyung to my cousin Taetae, I want him to be part of the family. Now sleep and don’t disturb our sales talk.” Taehyung smiles his boxy smile and leans back closing his eyes following Jimin’s orders.

 

“You two is impossible.” Jinyoung snickers.

 

********

 

After filling their stomach with food at his mom’s restaurant, they decided to stay the night, it’s not feasible to travel late with the weather since the roads is not safe also his mom won’t allow them so they settled at their home. It’s weird calling his mom’s house at Jinhae his home, he never really stayed in here for more than a month.

 

The younger trio is at the living room, they’re planning on having stranger things marathon. They want to watch the entire series but he’s sure they’ll be sleeping on the 4^th episode.

 

He opted to settle in his room for the night, though the drive tire him out, he can’t seem to sleep, his mind wanders to the confession Mark did or he forced out of him. He felt bad being that blunt towards the blonde but he doesn’t want to give the other false hope, he’s just not someone cut out for that things, they’ll just leave him at the end. It’s frustrating how Mark is so confident even though the hurt is evident in his gaze. A knock at his door wake him up from his stream of thoughts. He muttered a small come in knowing fairly well who’s behind the door.

 

His mom stood in his doorway for a couple of seconds holding a steaming mug that he assumes contains hot chocolate before crossing the distance between them setting the mug on the bedside table.

 

“My son is so handsome.” His mom says. “Looking like a mini version of his Dad. You should visit your mom more, without Yugyeom and Jimin helping me I won’t be able to send sweaters that fits you.”

 

“Just buy the biggest size, you know oversized clothes is a trend these days.”

 

“Nyoungie,” Jinyoung closes his eyes hearing that nickname roll out of his mom’s mouth still brings a pang in his heart, “You know Mom is very sorry she can’t watch you grow and be there for you. But Nyoungie has always been a smart kid, I’m thankful for you being so mature and understanding even in such a young age. Sometimes, sometimes I can’t help but think that maybe we forced you to mature early, that you should have enjoy being a kid longer.” His mom says caressing his hand.

 

“Mom, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

 

“I would always worry no matter how old you and your brother get, I’m just a Mom after all. Yugyeom told me he met a friend of yours earlier this day, a friend that is not Youngjae.”

 

“Why is everyone so excited about me having a friend that is not Youngjae?”

 

“We’re just happy you’re letting other people in.”

 

“Hmmm, I don’t know he might stop being friends with me soon.”

 

“Jinyoung-ah, it’s okay to be scared but don’t let fear weigh more in your decision.”

 

“It’s okay, I’m used to people leaving.” Jinyoung said absentmindedly, a habit he formed when consoling his self to the hurt he was force to endure. The words just come out of his mouth he forgot that he’s talking with his mom. “Mom,” He gasps, “It’s not like that, I’m sorry.”

 

His mom smiles, a sad one, caressing his cheek this time, “Why are you sorry? I should be the one apologizing, I haven’t been a good mom to you. My child is having a hard time.” She adds, tears streaming down her eyes.

 

“Mom, I’m sorry. I’m being unfair, I, I was the one who choose to stay.”

 

“Hmm, then can you tell me Mom, why you asked to stay that time?”

 

“I-I don’t want to leave Dad on his own, it was a hard time for both of you and Yugyeom, he needs to stay with Mom because he’s just a baby so I stayed with Dad instead.”

 

“But you know that it’s okay, right? Your Dad would understand and he’s going to be busy at the hospital too. Mom was so worried you’re alone, I’m thankful Jimin’s mom was there to check on you.”

 

“I heard your talk with Grandma,” he starts, voice just barely above a whisper. “She said it’s going to be hard for you to look at me now, I look a lot like Dad and you’re going to just remember him in me and all the pain he caused you.” His mom sobs hearing those words out of Jinyoung. It was painful to have a then 10 years old child hear those words, her mom was never fond of Jinyoung’s dad but how could he just let Jinyoung hear all those words it’s like saying his mom wanted nothing to do with him.

Jinyoung don’t know what to do, his mom is crying in front of him so he hugs her rubbing comforting circles in his back. “It’s okay Mom, I understand. That’s why I stayed you see; I don’t want to hurt you. I want Mom to be happy and move on.” His mom tightened his hold to Jinyoung hearing his son trying to comfort him. When his mom calmed down, he wipes the tears in his mom’s eyes, reaching for the forgotten mug in the bedside table urging his mom to take a sip.

 

“I end up drinking the hot chocolate I prepared for you.”

 

“It’s okay you can just make me one the next time I stay the night.”

 

“I hope that is soon.” his mom says smiling at him even if her eyes look red and tired from all the crying. “Nyoungie, listen to Mom, okay? When your grandma said that do you know what I replied to her?” Jinyoung shakes his head, he remembered little Yugyeom asking him for his sippy cup so he did not hear anything further. “I told her that I’ll be happy looking at you then, because you’re my son no matter how much you look nothing like me, and when I will look at you yes I will remember your Dad same as how I remember him looking at Yugyeom and the mannerisms they share but instead of the hurt and the pain I will be happy because he made me happy when we’re together. The happy memories we created is far more significant to keep and cherish compared to the painful ones. We didn’t work out in the end but it’s okay to not settle to things that will make you happy if there are things that will you the happiest. So Jinyoung-ah, stop being scared you’re just hurting yourself, let them in, and if they hurt you cherish the happy times then, let yourself heal. Mom is here for you, Mom did not leave you behind, call her or come home to her when it gets hard, you can even demand her to come see you and she’ll be there for you always.”

 

“Mom.” Jinyoung hugs his mom then, letting a couple of tears escaped from his eye as he lets himself bask in his mother’s embrace.

 

“Do you not think your Dad is the happiest right now?” his mom asks caressing his back.

 

“I think he’s the happiest right now.” Jinyoung replies “Appa makes him the happiest, I’m just sad their away from each other because of Appa working in Japan. But they make it work visiting each other as soon as they find the time. How about you Mom?”

 

“I’m the happiest right now, I have you and Yugyeom and I’m finally doing the thing that I love. See? It all worked out in the end.” Jinyoung hums in reply.

 

 

********

 

“Happy New Year!!!”

 

They all cheered at the top of their lungs as they welcome the new year. When Jinyoung walked him home, he was ready to welcome the new year curled up in his bed knowing his parents won’t stay late since they have a flight to LA the next morning to celebrate his sister’s birthday and also because they miss their grandkids. So, it was a surprise to open his door and see a smiling Jackson, Jaebeom, Bambam, and to his wonder Youngjae is with them too holding various bags containing snacks, firecrackers, and drinks that is strictly non-alcoholic to Jackson’s chagrin, they’re minors after all. 

 

“You confessed to Jinyoung?” Jaebeom yells getting the other guys attention.

 

“Yeah I did.”

 

“Wah, Mark Tuan, my child, all grown up confessing to his crush already.” Jackson butts in wiping fake tears under his eyes.

 

“I bet he told you to stop liking him or he doesn’t like you like that.” Youngjae says joining in the conversation.

 

“Yeah he did.”

 

“He what?” Jackson shrieks shaking Mark’s shoulder in disbelief. “But I think he likes you too though?”

 

“Why do you look okay? I mean, if Jaebeom would tell me those lines I’m gonna sulk then have his face receive my quick attacks the next time we face each other inside the court.”

 

“That’s why I like you so much Babe.” Jaebeom declares smooching Bambam’s cheeks. “You better be.” the boyfriend replies.

 

“Mark just got rejected and your shoving your affections to each other in his face.” Jackson states teasing the lovebirds.

 

“He likes you too, just give him time and don’t leave his side. He’ll come around.” Youngjae said comforting Mark.

 

Mark smiles, “Thanks, but yeah I think so too.”

 

“Why?” Jackson asks the blonde curiously.

 

 

“He was wearing the hoodie I gifted him earlier.” he replied earning a laugh from Jaebeom and Bambam and a confused look from Jackson but as he looked at Youngjae he knows he understands. Jinyoung never wears jackets that is not given to him by his mom until he wore the one from Mark.

 

 

The next morning, Jinyoung with Jimin and Taehyung in tow is getting ready to return to Seoul. Yugyeom is grumbling on the side not liking that his trip to Seoul was cut short since their mom is not allowing him to go, classes is about to start in a day or two anyway.

 

“Be careful and drive safely Jinyoungie.” His mom reminds him for the nth time. “I packed you some side dishes be sure to eat those and visit me soon, okay?”

 

“Yes Mom.” Jinyoung replied ruffles Yugyeom’s hair before turning to his mom hugging her before walking towards the car. The other two has been settled inside waiting for him.

 

“You know Hyung,” Jimin voices out as he drove away from the house. “My mom would always say how you look like an exact copy of your dad but with your mom’s like vibe or personality and Yugyeom being the exact opposite, it’s cute.”

 

“I’m cute, you’re cute, everyone’s cute.” Taehyung butts in from the backseat.

 

“What’s wrong with him?” Jinyoung asks eyes glued at the road ahead.

 

“He’s sleepy, don’t mind him. You know hyung, you always joke around me and Tae being attached to the hip. But you know, it’s not that hard just ask them to stay and make the stay worthwhile. Some stays some don’t and that’s just how it is. Don’t hold their actions against you.”

 

“When did little Jiminie grow up?” Jinyoung smiles, ruffling the younger boy’s hair for a second.

 

“Hyung! You’re just a year older!”

 

 

********

 

After dropping the pair off their houses, Jinyoung decided to go and see Mark while blasting Taylor Swift’s Mine on his car’s stereo. Maybe it’s the right time to take the risk or the right person to take the risk with. He can’t help chuckling to his self-hearing the lyrics of the song, “Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts, really?”

 

But when he reached Mark’s driveway it was not the scene he had in his mind. Mark’s Dad is loading a suitcase in the cab, waving a quick goodbye to Jackson, Youngjae, Bambam, and Jaebeom then the cab drove away soon after. Mark is not in sight, he’s probably inside the cab already with his mom. Are they going back to the states? Why did Mark not say anything to him? Was he leaving that’s why he confessed? But thinking about it he was the one who confronted the blonde the night before, is that the reason why Mark did not confess to him? Because he’s leaving? A million thoughts and questions plague his mind, but a single thought is blinking brightly at him. Mark left.

 

He feels his heart constricting at the thought Jimin’s words echoes in his mind “ask them to stay” he said but he did not even get the chance to say goodbye or see that beautiful face with a radiant smile for the last time.

 

A knock on his car’s window jolts him away from his thoughts. He can’t believe his eyes then, maybe he just wants to see Mark so much that he’s hallucinating.

 

Mark is standing outside with a squirming Milo in his arms. The Mark outside then let Milo run free towards their friends and knocks at Jinyoung’s window for the second time now looking worried. Jinyoung did not waste any time then, he opens his car and flings his self to Mark hugging the other tightly to the blonde’s surprise.

 

“Please tell me this is real, that you’re real.” Jinyoung says in a frantic whisper. Their friends looking at them curiously but with maniacal grins in their face. Mark ushers them inside which they thankfully comply with Youngjae dragging everyone inside.

 

“I’m here Jin, it’s okay I got you.” Hearing those words Jinyoung sighs in relief. All the tensions seem to deflate from his body. “Hey, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” Mark asks softly, rubbing smoothing circles in his back.

 

“I saw your parents getting on the cab with suitcases and all.”

 

“You thought I’m with them and I’m leaving.”

 

Jinyoung hums in affirmation while Mark laughs softly.

 

“Why don’t you want me to leave?”

 

“Because I’m tired of denying myself greater happiness. I’ve always thought that loving someone means giving them power, power to hurt you in the most painful way and I refuse to feel that pain but someone made me realize that I’ve been inflicting that pain to myself and it’s time to let others in. But Mark?” Mark hums for Jinyoung to continue, “I’m still scared, so scared that I would be stuck somewhere waiting.”

 

Mark untangles himself from the hug and takes Jinyoung’s face between his hands looking at his eyes directly. “You don’t have to wait for me, I’m here to stay. It’s okay to be scared, I’m scared too but let’s not let this fear hinder us from loving each other Jin. I love you and I will spend each waking day proving to you that I’m here to stay.” tears drop from Jinyoung cheeks, he can’t help but shed some looking at Mark’s eyes full of sincerity and affection. He can’t help but question if he deserved it all but he’s determined to keep Mark this time no more pushing away. Mark wipes the tears with his thumb carefully smiling at Jinyoung.

 

“Jin, I like you so much.”

 

“I like you too, but I’m not sure about the so much part.” he replied smiling smugly. Mark kisses him then, gently but with so much unwavering affection and everything just feels right. Their moment was broken by the clapping and wolf whistles from their friends. They even have sparklers in their hands much to Jinyoung’s amusement.

 

“Stop embarrassing my boyfriend!” Mark yells to them which earned even much louder reactions.

 

Boyfriend, Jinyoung likes the sound of that he laces his hands with Mark’s as they join their friends entering Mark’s house.

 

“We have the house to ourselves, my parents are visiting my sister in LA.”

 

“Stop thinking dirty thoughts Tuan! We’re literally here!” Jaebeom comments making everyone laugh and Mark beet red chasing Jaebeom around because he does not mean it like that.

 

Jinyoung glances at his bestfriend who’s smiling at him like a proud Dad. Why did he deny himself of this for so long? But he’s glad that it’s okay it all works out now.

 

 

end