The car ride fill with memories as the rain pours over the vintage mini cooper. She watches the rain drops scatter as it hits the glass, masking her own tears, that threatened to fall as she journeys back to a lost love. The sound of mirth from the front seat caught her attention and she smile fondly at her granddaughter, adored and cherished by her beau, as he brings her fingertips to his lips. Hayi’s smile was contagious, and Dara could not help but mirror it. The latter looks at the handsome young man and his eyes tell of nothing but admiration for the young girl. They were indeed lucky to have found each other.

“Are you okay, Grandma?”, Hayi has turned to her and held her hand. Dara smiles and gives her a gentle squeeze. “We’re close by.”, she adds and Dara could just nod.

“I’m really thankful that you agreed to come with us, Grandma Dara.”, the man, her granddaughter’s fiancé, Mino, says while their eyes meet in the rearview mirror. Dara could just nod back at him.

Truthfully, she was surprised when Hayi first introduced her fiancé to her. Dara couldn’t help but touch the young man’s face, tracing its shape, as if she knew him long before. The familiarity wasn’t lost to the couple but they never asked. A year after they met and Mino proposed, was the only time that Dara asked about Mino’s family and true enough, the reason for the familiarity was known. Mino himself knew, that when he told Dara, he wasn’t surprised when she cried.

“Take me to him.”, Dara said between sobs and Mino couldn’t help but agree and so this trip was arranged.

The ride to a long lost love has begun, not knowing how it’ll end.

She watches as the flowers fall from the sakura tree and opens her aged hand to cradle one. She tries to smell the blossoms, only to sneeze vociferously. Laughter came from behind her and she was surprised to be joined by another.

“Were you laughing at me?”, she says belligerent, glaring at him as he sits beside her. “You are rude!”

“Sandara, how can you forget that you are allergic to pollen?”, he says. She lets go of the flower immediately, then wipes it on the sides of her dress. She holds her cardigan close to her, offended at the way he casually just said her name.

“How do you know who I am?”, she asks.

“How can you NOT know who I am?”, he says before he smirks at her. He leans closer and peers at her through his sunglasses and time seemed to have warped her back to her 20s as she cheers on the backstage for this guy.

“Kwon Jiyong?”

“The one and only.”, he says with an amused smirk before he sighs then caresses her cheek with the back of his hand. “50 years, Dara, but time still doesn’t affect you.”

“Oh, it has.”, she says with a smile. “Believe me, it has. Longtime no see, Jiyongie. I never thought I’d see you here one of these days. I never really thought I’d see you again.” Jiyong laughed and shook his head.

“I knew I’d see you again. I hoped I would.”, he turned to her, still with that playful smile wrinkling the skin beside his eyes. “I prayed I would see you again even for the last time.”

Dara’s breath got caught at the way he said those words that it rendered her speechless. Silence engulfed them for a while before he decided to break it. He slouches, bringing his ankle to the opposite knee, relaxed and happy.

“I see you’ve met Mino.”

“When I saw him, I thought he was you when you were younger.”, Sandara admits.

“Touché!”, Jiyong says before they both laugh then he looks at her, hiding the longing behind the dark sunglasses. “I hope you don’t fall in love with him. He’s too young for you.”

Sandara Park’s laugh echoed around the garden and it was so contagious, that he couldn’t help but join in. He used to love that laugh, and perhaps he still did. He remembered a time when he thought that his life’s mission was to hear her laughter every single day, but he was young, and he was a fool.

“I wouldn’t break my granddaughter’s heart deliberately.”, she says.

“So, you knew?”, he asks. “You knew that her fiancé was related to me?”

“I first met Mino when he started going out with her but although I saw some familiarity, I was never certain that he was from your family until yesterday.”, she admits. “I should have asked him sooner. I should have…”

His warm hands hold hers suddenly and a tear fell from her eye but she quickly wiped it. Kwon Jiyong removed his glasses and his sincere eyes met her regretful gaze.

“I’m here now.”, he says, and he brings her hand to his lips. “We are here now.”

“But…” Jiyong shook his head and smiled at her. He let go of her hand and sat back, the same relaxed way he did a few moments past. “Mino and Hayi are getting married.”, she continues.

“So, it seems.” He sighs. “Hayi reminds me of you, although she tries to act mature for her age, I could see your playfulness in her. It comes out naturally when she’s with him, just as yours did when you were with me. When I met her, I knew she was perfect for Mino, just as I knew you were perfect for me.”

Dara laughed. And he turned to look at her curiously.

“If we were perfect for each other, then why were we not together?”, Dara spoke.

“Because we always missed our timing.”, he says. “But this time, I wanted to bend some of fate’s fingers and try to make a way for us.”

“Ji, its been 50 years and you still think I’ll fall for your sweet nothings?” Jiyong once again meets her gaze and turns to her. He touches her face and she didn’t flinch at his touch.

“I’m here now because I want to be with the woman that I loved.”, he says genuinely.

“She already died, Jiyong., she says, holding his hand and putting it down away from her skin.

“No, she didn’t.”, he says, and he cups her face again. “I never told you, Dara, but I thought I’d make things right.”

“Don’t say anything you don’t mean, Jiyong. We’re already too old to be lying to each other!”

“Why would I lie to you?”, he asks and she holds his hand, while her eyes searched his for the truth.

“Did you know?”, Sandara suddenly asks and the smile on his face vanished when he caught on what she was asking. “Did you know that I loved you when you were Mino’s age, Jiyong?”

Flashback to 50 years past

“Dara, that’s enough!”, Bom reaches for the bottle of tequila she was holding but failed. Dara was quick to escape. She took another drink, pouring the bitter liquid into until it burned before it gets yanked out of her grasp.

“Hey!”, she glares at the Tequila thief. A shadow looms over her, and at first, she was scared but when she put a name to the face, she laughed and threw a punch at his arm. “Yah!”

“You’re drunk. Happy hour’s over, Sandara Park.”,

“Hey, Jiyong! Don’t be such a party pooper! You’re no fun!”, she says while swaying before she begins to with one of Bigbang’s songs, “Ain’t No Fun”.

Dara was the real VIP. Hell, she was VVIP. She knew every song of the group, those released and those that weren’t. She had every merchandise they sold to their fans. She even had her own version of those limited-edition hoodies they wore backstage. She always had the best seat in their concerts, and she could even see them backstage. She was living every fangirl’s dream!

And it all started with a promise she made to herself after she watched their first broadcast.

“I promise to always cheer for you, Jiyong and Bigbang, of course.”, a young girl of 18 says to a sleeping boy, while his head was cradled on her lap. “I’ll be your number 1 fan, no matter what happens.”

“Thank you, Noona.”, he says and grins at her. Dara was taken aback before she hits his forehead and he sits up with a yelp. “Ouch!”

“I thought you were sleeping!”, Dara stands up.

“Well, I was but you were so noisy!”

“Not funny, Jiyong!”, Dara says before she leaves the giddy boy.

But now they were older and Jiyong has out-grown his infatuation for her. Jiyong watched as she leaves him, probably making her way to the bar to get another drink. He wanted to follow her but before he could take another step, a hand pulls him back.

“Don’t.”, Seunghyun tells him. “We’ll take care of her. Just go back to your friends.”

“Seunghyun hyung…”, Jiyong says then he noticed Bom’s glare before she walks past them. “Why is Bom noona angry at me?”

“I think it was the “joke” you both pulled on everyone a few weeks ago.”, Seunghyun answers then Jiyong laughs. “It’s not funny, Jiyong.”

“Of course, it was!”, he protests. “Dara couldn’t see a thing if I didn’t guide her all the way to the club and the people around us couldn’t even stop me. It was the perfect prank! Everyone thought we were dating!” Jiyong laughs some more but then he noticed that Seunghyun wasn’t laughing with him. “What’s wrong, hyung?”

“Didn’t you think that maybe, because you said that it was a joke, perhaps it was turning other people’s feelings into one as well?”

“What?”

“Never mind I said that.”, Seunghyun says before he leaves Jiyong. “Just, go back to them. They’re looking for you. She’s looking for you.”

End

Present time

“I still cringe when I remember those drunk messages, I sent you. Didn’t you receive them?”, she continued when Jiyong remained quiet. “I remember that you replied once and told me that I should just sleep because I was so drunk. I was almost always drinking every week because of our lack of activities, fear of disbandment and most of all, because of a broken heart. Back then, didn’t you really know?”

“Dara…”, he says, and he looks at her. Instead of seeing the hurt girl that he expected, what stared back at him were eyes full of wonder and, wait, was that acceptance? “I wasn’t exactly expecting that this was the part that we’ll be reminiscing the first time we saw each other again.”

“We’re senile and we’re running out of time, Jiyong.”, Dara grins at him. “Weren’t old people forgiven for being straight forward and honest? I also thought about what I can say to you when we saw each other again. This wasn’t what I wanted our conversation to be about after 50 years, as well. But if I were to be completely honest, I have always wondered…”

“Wondered?”

“Why was I never enough for Kwon Jiyong?”

He stared back at her wide eyed, but she just smiled at him.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not angry or bitter. I’m just really curious.”, she admits. “I just wanted to know what I was so scared to ask you before. Why was I never enough?”

Flashback

He arrived at a dark apartment; vases and frames lay broken.

As broken as the girl on the floor, while her sobs echoed around the living room.

“Dara…”, he says while he knelt beside her.

“It hurts.”, she says as she hugs her knees closer to her chest. “It just hurts.”

Her phone lights up beside her and he takes it. He knew her password by heart and instinct told him that whatever it was that hurt, could be in this contraption. The phone unlocks and he was greeted by a message from Kwon Jiyong, cordially inviting Dara to his wedding through a text message.

“That son of a…”, he moved to stand but then he felt her arms cling to him.

“Don’t…”, she pleads and looks at him. “Please don’t, Seunghyun. It’s clear to me that he doesn’t love me, and he never will. We can’t force him to. I can’t force him to.”

Seunghyun’s knees weakened at the sight of her and he could just gather her tiny body against him, hoping he could absorb all the pain that she was going through.

“I want you to arrange a proper stag party for him. I want you to be beside him when he watches her walk down the aisle.”

“I’m not going. Dara, how can you possibly expect me to…”

“Because you are his friend, Seunghyun.”

“I’m not.”, Seunghyun argues. “I stayed by his side because you told me to! I took care of him because you told me to. What I am to him was all because of you, Dara. If there was anyone loyal to him, it has been you all along! If it were up to me, I wouldn’t even be in the same room as he is without punching him!”

“You only say that out of your loyalty to me.”

“You were the only one who stayed with me even after people condemned me for something I was not. How can I not be loyal to you?”

“Don’t you think, he thinks the same way?”, Dara says and Seunghyun pulled back to look at her. “Jiyongie and you, you are so similar. You were both condemned for something you didn’t do. Different times, but similar circumstances.”

“We are different.”, Seunghyun tells her. “I’d never hurt you the way he does.”

“Seunghyun hyung…”, Jiyong says after a while. After she asked that question, they both could just stare at the horizon, as if they were seeing the same memory. “I knew he loved you.” Jiyong turned to her again but she was just smiling at him.

“He didn’t at that time.”, Dara says. “Seunghyun knew how I felt then. He always loved me like a sister.”

“I can’t believe that. I refuse to believe that!”

“He did.”, Dara smirked at him. “You were comfortable with the idea that Seunghyun and I were together, and we probably loved each other. But, he stayed with me out of duty. You see, after everything that happened to him, Seunghyun became a broken man. I could just try to put the pieces back together. There came a point that even his art couldn’t comfort him anymore and so he tried to take his life. So, I pleaded with him, to find that will to live because I couldn’t lose him too.”

Kwon Jiyong wanted to disagree but those same words have been said to him before by Seunghyun and he couldn’t find it in his heart to think that his good friend, his best friend, would lie to him on his deathbed.

“So, its true?”

“We married because of our obligation to our family and we had one child, Hayi’s mother.”, Dara tells him. “We grew old together, and I took care of him until he died. With his last breath, he told me to seek the truth from you. Why was I never enough, Jiyong?”

“Its not that you weren’t enough, Dara.”, Jiyong says. “I was stupid.” He laughs to hide the tear that fell from his eyes. “Those drunken messages, I always read them, but I never responded except once. I always thought I didn’t deserve the love…”, he leans forward to hide his face and keep his silent cries. “I thought you were perfect.” Jiyong sits up and faces her. He reaches out a hand and wipes a tear away from her eyes and she leans her beautiful face on his palm. “I couldn’t love you and I’m sorry. It was I who didn’t think I deserved the love that you willingly gave because I hurt you too many times. I didn’t deserve you. I never gave us a chance. I was too caught up in the lies I lead myself to believe, even when Seunghyun hyung tried to wake me from it.”

Dara pulls Jiyong towards her and he leans his head on her shoulder while her arms soothe his back.

“I did love you, Dara.”, Jiyong confessed as he held onto her tight. “I just thought its always been too late.”

“Maybe in another life, we wouldn’t be so stubborn, right?”, she interjects with mirth but Jiyong couldn’t even smile. He looks at her and touches his lips to hers.

“In another life, I’ll love you more.”, he says with a promise. “And for the last time, let me say it to you.”

“Maybe in another life.”, Dara says and smiles. “I love you, Kwon Jiyong.”

“I love you, my Sandara.”

Her age-old fingers reach out to touch his equally aged ones as she wakes from that beautiful dream. She wipes her tears away and she does the same for him. Its been three days since her granddaughter’s fiancé brought her to Kwon Jiyong, who happened to be his grandfather.

“Ji, don’t cry.”, she says from beside him. “I’m here. It seems we’ll never get away from each other.”

“Grandma Dara, why don’t you lie down as well.”, Hayi says. “Mino asked for another bed, but you were fast asleep, so I didn’t disturb you. You’ll be more comfortable…”

Dara looks at the young woman beside her then shook her head. “I can manage, Hayi. I’ll stay beside him. He might wake up and I want to be the first person Jiyong sees.”

“I never asked you before who Kwon Jiyong was to you.”, Hayi sits in front of Dara. “I thought he didn’t exist until I brought Mino home and introduced him to you. You said that he looked so much like your first love. Is he really your first love?” Dara just nods and touches Hayi’s cheek.

“He was the first and the last.”, Dara admits to the young girl. “But we were both stubborn and we didn’t think we deserved each other. So, don’t make the same mistake we did. When you love someone, don’t be scared to let him know. For all you know, he loves you just as much. I can see he does.”

“He does.”, Hayi says and grips on Dara’s hand. “He loves me so much, Grandma. He never fails to tell me otherwise. Mino said that his grandfather taught him a lot but what he could never forget, were his teachings about love. Grandpa Jiyong insisted that if Mino loved me, then he should say it, no matter where and when. I was thinking that maybe if his grandfather was just honest with what he felt, you could have been so happy too.”

“There’s no use cying over spilt milk, Hayi. My love for Jiyong will remain, had he felt the same way or not.”

“I know.”, Hayi says. “I wish my love is as big as yours, Grandma.”

“It is.”, Dara tells her. “And Mino’s lucky to have you.”

“You can’t really escape from each other, could you.”, Hayi says with a smile. “I mean, what were the odds that the guy I would fall for would be your first love’s grandson, right?”

Dara could just nod and they both sit up when they hear the door open. Mino arrived with 2 more, a man in a doctor’s coat and a nurse.

“Is it time?”, Dara asks, and Mino could just nod. Hayi stood up and the couple helped her to stand. Dara looked back at their hands and she kissed those aged fingers one last time before she allows to be guided back.

“I’m sorry, I can’t stop it. Its in his will.”, Mino says, while he supports her. Dara nods then looks at him and Hayi. Hayi also holds onto Dara’s other side as they watch Kwon Jiyong sleep forever.