After getting home and eating pizza, Sooyoung’s mood took a turn for the better, the conversation she had with Yeri earlier is almost forgotten and she no longer thinks she needs to solve all of this right now. It’s not like anyone’s confessing to her to force her into understanding whether or not she has an interest in romantic relationships. 

    “Hey,” Wendy says, making Sooyoung look up from her shoulder where she was resting her head while they watch a movie, “I need to ask you about something.”

    “Okay,” she moves so now they are sitting face to face, “go ahead.”

    “I don’t want things to get weird between us, it’s just that… I don’t even know how to get this into a sentence.” seeing how nervous she sounds, Sooyoung places a hand on her knee as an attempt to comfort the other, Wendy puts her hand on top of her’s and starts playing with her fingers. She takes a deep breath and continues, “You know how people are always asking if we are dating?”

    “Yeah, even Yeri brought it up today.” 

    Wendy nods, “At first it didn’t get to me, but lately I started thinking about it and,” she let go of Sooyoung’s hand, “what if we were?”

    “What if we were…?”

    “Dating.” Wendy takes another deep breath and looks into Sooyoung’s eyes, “What if we started dating?”

    “You want to date me?”

    “I believe that I do, yes.” Wendy can no longer look at her, so she moves her gaze away, “Do you want to date me?”

    Sooyoung is in absolute panic now, today out of all days she had to have some sort of epiphany about her uality that brought so many more questions and now Wendy wants to date her. How can she answer when doesn’t even know if she is interested in romantic relationships at all? This is definitely not the best moment for someone to confess to her, but it’s Wendy, who is so precious to her and she can’t bear the thought of doing anything that could hurt her.

    “You don’t want to.” Wendy says, the disappointment in her voice piercing through Sooyoung’s heart.

    “It’s not that simple,” Sooyoung finally says, she takes both of Wendy’s hands into hers, “I… I don’t even…” 

    “No no, it’s fine really,” Wendy interrupts, shifting uncomfortably on the couch, “I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”

    “You didn’t let me finish, rude,” she attempts to tease, “and don’t ever apologize when you did nothing wrong.”

    “Sorry,” Wendy realizes she’s apologizing again,“for interrupting you, I mean.”

    “I wanted to talk to you about something that happened earlier, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

    “,” Wendy’s eyes grow wide, “someone confessed to you first.”

    “What?” Sooyoung didn’t expect that to be the first thing Wendy would think, “It’s not that at all, I just had a conversation with Yeri about you and it led to some complicated stuff.”

    “Oh? That’s why you were upset earlier?”

    Sooyoung nods, “She asked me about us, more specifically she asked if I would like to date you and if I was attracted to you,” she doesn’t know how to approach the next part of this, but Wendy’s expression showed such worry that she had to find the words, “that led to a conversation that made me find out I’m aual.”

    “But didn’t you date people before?” she asked, genuinely confused.

    “I did, but I guess it was just because that’s what is expected after a certain age,” she didn’t have the time to ponder about these things yet, “to be perfectly honest I didn’t know what attraction really meant before today.”

    “Are you saying this just so you don’t have to reject me more directly?” 

    “No, of course not,” she touches Wendy’s face gently, making the other look at her, “I would never lie to you.”

    “So you really just…” her head drops and she continues sounding defeated, “I never stood a chance.” 

    “That’s not what I said.”

    “You should probably explain it then,” she stands up from the couch, back turned to Sooyoung, “I can’t tell if this is some joke for you or not.”

    “I said I would never lie to you,” Sooyoung’s tone shows her frustration, “we’re both adults, if I wanted to reject you I would do so.” Sooyoung rests her head on the couch, eyes looking up, “I’m sorry if this isn’t what you expected, but it hasn’t been an easy day for me and I really don’t need you doubting me right now.” 

    Wendy sighs and moves back to the couch, “I’m sorry,” her voice sounds small, barely above a whisper, “I didn’t mean to… I know you wouldn’t lie.”

    “I haven’t had the chance to think about any of this properly yet.”

    “And then I made things worse by confessing to you.”

    “You didn’t know, I shoul…” 

    “I would like to know,” Wendy interrupts, “as your friend.”

    “Are you taking back the confession?” she turns her head to look at Wendy, the older woman’s face clearly showing her inner conflict.
 

    “Not exactly? I mean…” she furrows her eyebrows trying to find the right words, “I can’t take it back, but I won’t be… like, pressuring you or anything. You’re still my friend no matter what."

    Sooyoung pulls Wendy into a hug, her chin resting on top of the other’s head, “I really like you, I wish things were simpler for us.” 

    They stay like that for a while, neither of them saying anything. Sooyoung because she’s trying to find a way of explaining what’s going on inside her head, Wendy out of respect for the other woman. 

    “Until today I thought that ual attraction was when you think someone’s really pretty, I had no idea people can look at a stranger and suddenly feel like having with them.”

    “That’s not how it works.” Wendy chuckles.

    “What?”

    “You need to know the person first, you can’t just be attracted to a random person.”

    “Okay, it’s not like I’m an expert or anything, but Yeri did give me a lecture on types of attraction today and I think you should take a look at this” Sooyoung gets up from the couch and goes to her bag, getting the notebook they were using earlier, “I’ll make some tea while you read.”

    A few minutes later she comes back to the living room with a fuming mug in each hand and a pack of cookies held between her teeth, “I thought we could use some snacks as well,” she says after setting everything on the coffee table, “So, what do you think?”

    “I was not as well informed about uality as I thought I was,” she takes a sip of tea, “I guess I just assumed everyone else experienced things the same way I do.”

    “We can only ever experience life as ourselves, it’s easy to forget that other people are not the same as us,” she puts her arm around Wendy’s shoulder, pulling the woman closer, “Wanna tell me about how it is to be you?”

    The feeling of being each other’s safe space returned, they feel like they can talk about anything with no fear of being judged. Sooyoung didn’t like how things were earlier, the idea that they could grow apart so easily scared her. Having Wendy snuggled on her side, munching on cookies like a cute little hamster. She feels this is how things are supposed to be between them.

    “I just always thought I was gay, I mean… not like… always, but ever since I got a crush on a girl when I was like 13 or 14. As far as I knew if you were a girl who only liked girls that meant you were a lesbian.”

    “And now you don’t think that anymore?”

    “Not exactly? Like, I’m still very much into girls, but I don’t think I ever got interested in someone without knowing them for a while,” she starts playing with the strings on Sooyoung’s hoodie, “so maybe demiual? I don’t know.”

    “We don’t have to figure everything out today.”

    “I know, but,” she moves to look at Sooyoung, “we could do some research together?”

    Twenty minutes and a lot of snacks later they are deep into research. Sooyoung has her feet on Wendy’s lap, a comfortable silence surrounds them, only broken when they read something worth mentioning to the other. 

    “Oh, I found something interesting,” Wendy says excitedly, making Sooyoung raise her head to look at her, “alterous attraction.”

    “What’s that?”

    “It’s a form of attraction that is like… not romantic but also not platonic. I don’t know if I’m making sense, I just started reading about it.”

    “Kinda?” Sooyoung looks confused, “Maybe if you give an example?”

    “From what I was reading I guess you’d feel a need to be really close to someone, but…” she puts her phone aside and bites her bottom lip, “like… not in the same way as you feel about your other friends.”

    Sooyoung gets up and walks towards the window, “Like a best friend or something?”

    “Not really… are you okay?”

    “Yeah, just wanted to get some air, it helps me think,” she holds a hand out, silently asking for Wendy to join her, “if it’s not like a best friend, then what?” she says when Wendy walks to her side and holds her hand.

    “I guess you have a different kind of attraction for that person, as in… like…,” she concentrates on reading something on her phone, “you would be okay with having them as a partner as much as you’d be with having them as a friend.” 

    “I think that’s how I feel,” Sooyoung says quietly, looking at the train tracks that used to annoy her, “I just didn’t have a way to describe it before.”

    “We can do some more research, I…”

    “Did you get what I said?”

    “Yeah? You think you experience alterous attraction?”

    “And do you understand what it means?” she closes the window and turns, so her back is against it, looking directly at Wendy, “What it means to us?”

    “No?”

    “Who’s the person in my life with whom I have a close bond that is very different from what I have with other people?” Wendy’s face turns from confusion to realization, “That’s you.”

    “Are you sure?” her eyes move away from Sooyoung, “There’s so much going on for you today, I don’t want you to feel pressured to figure everything out right now.”

    “I’m not feeling pressured,” she gently holds Wendy’s chin, making the shorter woman look at her, “I felt attracted to you from the first time I saw you, at least in all the ways I experience attraction.”

    “You… You were attracted to me?”

    “Yep, and still am,” she chuckles at Wendy’s surprised face, “you are beautiful, kind, I always feel safe around you, and there’s something about you that just makes me want to cuddle you all the time.” she pulls Wendy gently by the waist into a loose hug as she says the last part.

    “I’m not sure what this means.”

    “It means that I would also like us to be something other than friends.”

    “Oh…”

    “But I get if you don’t want it now that you know about me being aual and all of that.”

    “I don’t want to force you into something just because I confessed.”

    “You’re not forcing me,” Sooyoung starts drawing circles on Wendy’s back out of anxiety, “I always knew I didn’t feel the same way about you as I feel about my other friends, but I never thought much about it.”

    “And now that you have thought about it, you want to be with me?” Wendy looks up so her eyes meet Sooyoung’s, “As in no longer denying we are dating when people ask?”

    “Yes. But again, I get if you don’t want it anymore.”

    “Why wouldn’t I?

    “Because it won’t be what you expect of a relationship.”

    “You don’t know that,” she holds Sooyoung’s face, “any kind of relationship with you is exactly what I want. I don’t care if we’re not like other couples.”

    “Really?”

    Wendy nods enthusiastically, a wide smile on her face, “We can learn how we are as a couple with time, find out the things we’re both comfortable with. Sounds good to you?”

    “Perfect,” Sooyoung’s smile mirrors the one in front of her, “You know how I like to have physical contact with you right?”

    “I might have noticed it sometime between the first and the thousandth hug.” 

    “Can I try something new?” Sooyoung looks down, trying to contain her sudden shyness, “Can I kiss you?”

    “Are you sure? We don’t have to do that.”

    “I am, that’s something I’m actually really curious about.”

    “Ok, but if you feel uncomfortable we don’t have to do it again, I really don’t want you to feel press…” 

    Sooyoung interrupts her with a kiss and it might be her new favourite way of getting Wendy to stop rambling.

A.N.: Insomnia is now officially completed. I would like to edit it in the future, but as of now I think this is the best I can do with my writing abilities.

Thank you to everyone who read it. Hope you guys enjoy the ending.