She never thought the words “I love you” could change her life forever. From the first time she uttered those words to the last time they left . She could never thought it would mean so different to her now than it was when she first declared those words to her. 

If someone were to ask her what she thinks of love years ago, she would say happiness and forever but all she thinks about now is pain and lost. 

Miserableness and forlornness. Desolation and emptiness. She had stuck in this empty void for years that she cannot go back no matter how hard she tried.

If there was a time machine, she would go back to when it all started.

🌻

“Let’s break up, Seulgi. I can’t do this anymore.”

The world stopped spinning, her ears ringing and her heart skipped a beat. Blood drained from her face and her hands shook so much she tried to keep them still in her lap.

Blinking a few times, she picked up the cup of coffee and drank the bitter content down . After drinking its whole content, she put the cup down and dabbed with a napkin nonchalantly while trying to calm her raging heart.

There was so much she wanted to ask but all she could muster was: “Why, Hyun?”

A hesitation smile was thrown at her direction. Joohyun—her girlfriend of more than a year—fiddled with her own cup of coffee then heaved out a heavy sigh and looked at her straight in the eyes.

“I’m not happy, Seulgi. Haven’t been for months really. I’ve really tried to make our relationship worthwhile for me but I can’t do this anymore.”

She shook her head not believing everything she just heard. “You’re not happy with me? B-but I thought we were fine. D-Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Seulgi. You did nothing wrong and it’s not about everything you did or didn’t do but it’s who you are.” Joohyun gave a sad smile to her.

“What do you mean by that?” She was taken aback and widened her eyes asking for an answer.

“Don’t get me wrong. You have some very strong qualities b-but... you’re... I don’t know if I should say this because I don’t want to hurt your feel—“

“Just—just say it, please! You’ve already hurt my feelings when you wanted us to break up.” She closed her eyes and breathed slowly through her nose. She can feel a massive heartbreak was about to occur.

“This will hurt your feelings but I need to be honest with you. You’re just plain and boring. So rigid and not spontaneous. You don’t ever challenge me for my opinion and belief and you just follow everything what people tell you to do. You’re spineless, Seulgi, and you don’t take charge of your life. Yes, I admit that you’re a very attractive woman and I fell for your looks but oh my God, you’re boring the heck out of me.” 

The attack and harsh words felt like bullets piercing through every inch of her skin burrowing deep inside her flesh and cells. Blood that coursed through her veins suddenly felt like they stopped moving. She felt like all her oxygen had been out of her with every word that came out from Joohyun.

Slumping hard on the chair, she fell deeper and deeper into the deepest pit of numbness.

Joohyun looked at her sadly. “I’m so sorry, Seulgi but that’s the truth. I wish I could lie and give you other reason but that won’t be fair to you. I wish our relationship can last longer but I just can’t lie to myself and you anymore and I’m really sorry we have to end this way. But if you think there’s any hope for us to remain as friends, I will only be a call away. For what it’s worth, I liked you, Seulgi. I really did.”

Joohyun gathered her stuff and left her alone after giving soft taps on the top of her hand. Her jaw tightened and she willed herself not to look at Joohyun’s retreating figure.

So this was it. Their last goodbye. Not even a chance to save their relationship.

A few moments passed before she finally let tears rolled down her cheeks.

🌻

A lone figure standing straight beside the wide window overlooking Han River. The view was mesmerising especially at night when the colourful lights twinkle like distance stars in the sky and it was honestly one of her favourite views ever.

Taking deep breaths before releasing them slowly, she thought about all the things that had happened in her life for the past six years. Some good, some bad yet she would not change anything as they taught them life lessons and shaped her into the person she was today.

As she was mulling over her life, soft knocks were heard which brought her back to her present life. Clearing , she faced the door and said: “Come in.”

A head peeked in and when the person on the other side of the door saw her, they smiled and asked: “Hey boss, why aren’t you going back home yet?”

It was Kim Yerim or better known as Yeri—her secretary. She took a peek at the watch on her left wrist and saw it was close to 8.30pm.

“I was about to actually before you knocked on the door. But why haven’t you?” She reflected the question back to her secretary.

“Tsk. You’re not a very good liar, you know that, Seulgi? I haven’t just known you for days, we’ve known each other for years. I just know you were mulling over your sad love life again, aren’t you? And you won’t go back home until 10pm right?” Yeri waved her right index finger while squinting her eyes.

She and Yeri go way back. They used to live in the same housing area when they were young and they became close even though Yeri was a few years younger than her but they did not let the age difference hinder them from having a friendship. Sadly, they lost contact when Yeri’s family moved to Busan. 

Life has a funny way of reuniting old friends because they met again when they were both fighting for that last bottle of Coke in one convenience store almost three years ago. Turns out they lived close to each other. That day, they spent the whole day reminiscing their friendship and sharing their life stories.

Yes, Yeri knew about her past with Joohyun but no, she did not know how she looks like or anymore about her than she wanted her to know other than the facts that they were both once so happy then suddenly everything just went south. Never did once she asked to sympathise her or harbour any hard feelings towards her ex-girlfriend.

If she had a chance to meet her ex-girlfriend again, she would just to say “Thank you”. When they first broke up, she did hate her for leaving her without giving her any chance to defend herself or improve her herself for the better or save their relationship but surprisingly, she did not have any resentment towards her now. She sometimes thought about how their relationship would be now had she stayed but all in all, she would not change it any other way. 

People would to turn their heads whenever they see her now and envy her everywhere she goes but they did not how miserable and lonely she felt when she was alone at home. However only