[Moonbyul]

Finally. I smiled as I watched other idols walking around the stage, some playing with the confetti falling down and the others happily greeting acquaintances and friends. It was the night of the 2019 MAMA and the event was finally wrapping up. Maybe it was because of being in Japan where the atmosphere is very different, but it was very refreshing to watch idols letting loose and enjoying themselves for a change. And as usual, me and my members are keeping to ourselves; always choosing to play by ourselves instead of socializing. We may look crazy on screen but we actually prefer staying by the sides, especially in crowded spaces.

My smile got wider as I saw seven men walking towards us. BTS. One in particular I'm excited the most. Kim Seokjin. He has been silent in the chat group for a long time, only sending occasional greetings and the really out of the blue dad jokes. I haven't had the chance to meet him at that blasted MMA and now that I do, I can't say that I'm not looking forward to it. Finally catching his eyes, I instantly gave him two thumbs up to congratulate him. The amount of awards they have received that night was no joke and I have no trouble in showing how proud of him I am.

Bow.

Oh. I frowned as he walked past me, my hands slowly falling back on my sides. Is that it? No smile? A smirk maybe? Even a small curving of the lips. Anything. Anything will do instead of the same stoic bow I receive time and time again. Well, I expected that much. He's been doing that to me lately. It was understandable at first. Maybe he was just careful of showing interactions with female idols, with their fame and all. But what he did next made me change my mind and made my face heat in anger. He smiled at Solar.

Oh.

"Unnie, the stage might burst into flames by the way you're glaring."

Startled, I turned to my left and saw Wheein smiling at me teasingly. I chuckled, playing it cool. "I'm aiming for that bad chic image. Is it working?"

"If what you meant is you looking like wanting to kill somebody by the worst way possible then yeah, it's working." Whee In didn't know how close to the truth she was. My members really knew me so well. I've been wanting to punch this one guy for long while now.

I cockily shrugged and replied, "Okay, I'll take it." That instantly earned me a scoff. I laughed while she continued to whine and complain at how disgusting my actions are. But even as I smiled and continued to greet other idols, I can't help but feel bitter and dejected at what I realized. I'm being ignored.

* * * * * 

"Byul-ah."

"Hm?"

"You've been quiet for quite a while. Anything wrong?" I wrenched my gaze from the car window and looked at Solar. She offered me the box of Pepero she's been munching on since we left the venue. My stomach grumbled at the smell, since my last meal was hours before the program. I gladly took it out of her hand, munching on the sweet sticks immediately. I'm never giving this back.

"You're not answering me Byul-ah", she said while raising both her eyebrows. She tilted her head and looked at me intently, trying to figure me out. "Is this about Jin?"

"Ya!" My eyes widened at hearing her mention his name. I quickly glanced at the front to see if the others heard. I turned back to her, glaring. "Unnie, you really are tactless, don't you know that?"

"Sorry." She shrugged, looking unapologetic at all. "Don't worry, they're all asleep. And I don't think we'll even be heard by a single person in this car. Everyone has their ears plugged with earphones."

I huffed petulantly and decided to ignore her for the rest of the drive by watching the moving scenery outside. But I guess Solar has other plans. She continued, "There's no point in ignoring me Byulyi-ah. I saw your reaction when he smiled at me."

I sighed. "I really can't hide anything from you, can I?" She shook her head and smiled.

"Was I right?" I nodded and bit my lip, unsure of what to say. "Then why don't you talk to him? Ask him why he's acting the way he does with you. I'm sure he has a good reason as to why he's doing this to you." She must've seen the hesitation in my eyes as she continued, "Nothing will be resolved if you won't try."

"I know that Unnie."

"Talk to him tonight. I heard from manager-unnie that we're staying at the same hotel as they are."

I opened my phone, the light glaring harshly against the dark interior of the car as I watched the '92 liners group chat came alive with greetings and seeing his name appearing repeatedly as he sends his gratitude.

I looked at her. "Okay. But can you keep this between us?"

She nodded and grinned. "You can count on me."

* * * * *

It's times like this that I crave the most. Where we have no worries of anyone recognizing us and simply have fun. We were able to enjoy our food and drinks. It was well past 11 pm when we arrived back at the hotel. Exhilarated, tired and a little tipsy, we trudged noisily along the corridor leading to our rooms, still laughing at the jokes shared during dinner until our manager had enough and told us off. Mumbling our goodnights and a little scared of being scolded again, we scurried off to our respective rooms: Whee In and Hwa Sa in one room and me and Solar in another. Once inside our room, I immediately dumped myself, face down, unto one of the beds and closed my eyes until someone slapped my .

"What," I growled. That freaking hurt. I opened my eyes to see Solar standing beside my bed with her hands on her hips like a mother hen.

"Did you forget something?"

"No."

"Don't tell me you're stalling?" She stared at me in unbelief.

"No?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Fine." I grumbled and sat up. Opening my phone, I quickly sent a message then closed it immediately after, trying not to be nervous about it. "You happy?" I glared up at her and received a bright smile in return. I shook my head. Why did I even tell her? It would be a lot easier if I could just sleep it off. Though I doubt I would get a much needed sleep. Knowing me, this will keep on invading my thoughts. I picked up my toiletries and my pajamas and made my way to the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower can help calm and clear my mind.
 

* * * * *
 

Byulyi: What is your room number?

Jin: 1207, why?

I stared at the text for a long time, unsure of what to do next. I was crawling under the covers when I heard my phone ping. Expecting nothing, imagine my surprise when I saw it was from him. Now I'm having an internal debate on whether I should follow through my plan or not.

"Damn it." I muttered. I picked up my resolve, sent a reply and stood up. I changed into a sweater two sizes too big for me and baggy sweatpants. Might as well be comfortable. This is going be a long night.

"Unnie, I'm going!" I called out to Yongsun who is currently taking a shower as I opened the door to our room, hearing a faint good luck as I closed the door. I started my way towards the elevators, biting my lip in nervousness as I wait for the doors to open. Mumbling a silent thanks when it opened to an empty elevator cab. Pressing the number 12, I suddenly remembered something. I quickly pressed the number 12 button twice to deselect it and pressed the number 1 instead. A little detour wouldn't hurt.

I've been standing outside his door for at least 5 minutes when I turned back towards the elevators, cursing myself for being such a coward. I mean, what would I even lose by doing this?

You can lose a friend Moon Byul Yi.

I cursed again. I hate confrontations. What was I thinking? Why is this corridor so long? Couldn't I walk any faster? Ugh, this . I was halfway to the elevators when I heard a door opening ahead of me. Boisterous laughter can be heard from the open door. Thinking that the people coming out might recognize me; much worse if they were his fellow members, I quickly turned back around, trying to be inconspicuous as I gathered my purple hair to the side, bowed my head and walked slowly towards his door again. I never regretted the things I do to my hair. Not until this.

After what felt like forever but was actually just seconds, they were finally gone. I stopped walking, hesitating. Oh to hell with it.

Before I lose what small courage left in me, I strode quickly to the door and knocked. Silence answered me. I decided to knock again just to be sure. Still there was no response. A breath I didn't realize I was holding whoosh out of me. Relief like no other came over me in knowing that he was not inside. Though there was still that twinge of disappointment, I chose to ignore it. I started to turn when suddenly the door opened.

"I'm sorry, I was in the bath – " His eyes widened.