When she’s first offered the role, Joohyun isn’t really sure what to think as she stares at the crisp draft script in her hands. She runs a thumb over the margins as she chews on her bottom lip, sifting through the venn diagram of pros and cons over in her head.

If there’s one fact here, this isn’t the type of role she ever thought she’d be offered.

Nor is it the type of movie she thought she’d ever see written and produced by the likes of the eccentric Kim Taeyeon, a relatively young, internationally famous producer known more for her introspective, action-packed, and emotionally charged films; the kind of product that gets standing ovations at the prestigious Cannes Film Festival and the like.

But a film about five young females chasing their dreams to become international K-Pop idols? Not quite in the same ballpark, and it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to call it a separate sport entirely.

“What do you think?”

“It’s… different,” Joohyun muses. It’s not judgmental, just an observation, and it seems to be the response Taeyeon had looked forward to, because the older woman simply beams.

Truth be told, Joohyun’s never put too much thought into the struggles of idols— not that she thinks idols don’t have any, she’s positive that they have their own book of uphill battles as well. She definitely didn't have smooth sailing when she’d just started out as an actress, that’s for sure. Every idol – and by extension, she supposes, every individual under scrutiny in the public eye – goes through a period of obscurity, some of which unfortunately lasts longer than others.

Joohyun had gotten lucky, breaking out into mainstream film after a successful stream of dramas. She’d scored a main role in a psychological thriller film that premiered at Cannes to critical acclaim at the age of twenty, just four years ago.

She’s lucky, she knows, especially to have the freedom to choose her next works the way she does. Most actors aren’t nearly as fortunate. The very notion makes her stomach churn with guilt every time she thinks about it.

As for idols, though—

She’s just never thought about it.

It’s a whole different experience though, reading through the rough script she holds in her grasp.

After getting acquainted at an awards ceremony a few years back, Joohyun had become a good friend of Taeyeon’s, the two young women being close in age and possessing similar personalities, and Taeyeon herself had gifted the draft over a friendly chat in a coffee shop. Joohyun in general hadn’t been given much, just a few rough scenes in early detail; just enough to give Joohyun a taste of what she’d be in for should she accept the role.

She ends up reading over one line again. And then again. Her eyes peel over the words over and over, caught on this single line.

“If I take the plunge to make my own dream come true, am I holding someone else’s back?”

The line in particular is asked by Joohyun’s potential part to another character who hasn’t been defined yet, and the question itself doesn’t have an answer written yet. The scene simply ends with the inquiry being posed.

Still, it’s more than enough to grab Joohyun’s intrigue, and it’s clear that Taeyeon’s newest vision for this idol-centric film isn’t as one-dimensional as she’d originally thought.

“That scene isn’t finished yet,” Taeyeon explains as Joohyun sets down the script and immediately takes a sip of her coffee. “There’s a lot that’s still being written. I have the base story down, now I just need to fill in the details.”

“I was wondering if you were a mind reader,” Joohyun jokes, both hands encircling the ceramic mug, and she peers down into the coffee’s creamy depths, as if searching for an answer there. She shakes her head and moves to spoon more sugar into the hot drink. “That’s a question that’s been nagging at me, actually. I didn’t think I’d see it worded so eloquently in a script about idol trainees, but then again I should’ve known you’d be looking to explore something deeper.”

“Have you come to an answer?” Her friend asks curiously. “I’ve been searching for the right words to write for the response.”

“I haven’t,” Joohyun admits, smiles ruefully. “Unfortunately, I can’t help you there.”

Taeyeon chuckles, reclining in her chair and crossing a leg with a shrug.

“That’s fine. We don’t always need to have the answers immediately, and I don’t need the script to be set in stone yet either.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ve got written at the first table read, though,” Joohyun hums, picking up a stirrer and gingerly swirling it around her cup.

“Yes, of course— wait.”

“I’ll do it,” Joohyun grins. “It’s a pleasure to be working with you, Producer Kim.”

--

Joohyun doesn’t hear anything more about the project for the rest of the month— that is, until Taeyeon sends her an updated version of the script (just a few more scenes she hadn’t read previously) with a few more notable names added.

The rest of the cast is – as the kids say – stacked.

Joohyun herself had been offered a role as the apparent “leader” of the girl group; a hardworking yet shy girl who’d never planned on being an idol, instead getting cast by the company when she’d attended an audition with a friend. It hits a bit too close to home, with her character having her own internal struggles that she works hard to hide from her fellow members.

Somehow, Joohyun knows that Taeyeon had planned on drawing her in with that specific aspect in particular.

She perks up the moment she saw that Park Sooyoung had been brought on board as well— it’s probably the casting that makes the most sense. Sooyoung’s the only actual idol to be cast in the movie, being a soloist known for her pop ballads and dance hits that always manage to top charts. Given how beloved she is in the public eye, it only makes sense that she’d eventually branched out to acting.

Joohyun is friendly with Sooyoung, having guested on variety shows together before. Naturally, it had been Sooyoung who’d approached Joohyun first, a bright smile on her lips as she’d bowed and declared herself a big fan of Joohyun before the camera had started rolling. Since that first meeting, Joohyun had come to look forward to working with Sooyoung, and without a doubt, this movie would be a fun one to shoot.

She’s not surprised by the inclusion of Kim Yerim as maknae either. Joohyun’s met the young actress before at award shows last year, Yerim winning a Best Newcomer award for her big splash into the drama scene as a child actress. Additionally – and Joohyun herself isn’t sure of how this happened but – Taeyeon has somehow become an older figure in Yerim’s life, so it’s not unexpected to find Yerim’s name listed at the bottom of the main cast list whatsoever.

Son Seungwan is a bit of a surprise though. Joohyun’s been aware of Seungwan’s existence for a long time, being quite a fan of overseas artists for a long time, but that’s just the thing— Seungwan, despite her very Korean name, is actually a famous indie artist known for her stellar vocals and based in the United States, coming down from Canada to brave the likes of Los Angeles to make music. (Rumor has it that she could have a well-deserved Grammy win coming up).

A bit of a wild card, in terms of the domestic box office, though. But then again, Seungwan’s inclusion is sure to generate lots of overseas buzz.

The only name that Joohyun’s completely unfamiliar about is someone by the name of Kang Seulgi, cast in the “main dancer” position.

Furrowing her brow, Joohyun swivels around in her desk chair, aimlessly tapping at her keyboard to wake her laptop up. One quick Google search is all it takes to confirm Joohyun’s suspicions that Seulgi is, in fact, a dancer— and one of the youngest top choreographers, at that.

It only makes sense, Joohyun supposes as she navigates towards YouTube, that someone like a choreographer would be cast as the main dancer.

She clicks on the top search result, watches in interest as the opening chords of Maroon 5’s “Lucky Strike” blares through the earphones she slipped in.

The black screen fades into the sight of a dance studio, impeccable in its style and monochrome aesthetic, as two male dancers bounce on the balls of their feet in anticipation, waiting their cue to start the choreography.

A lithe female figure, dressed in nothing but a cropped t-shirt, sweatpants, and baseball cap, steps into the center of the room. Her lips quirk up in a smirk so subtle Joohyun nearly misses it, although it sends butterflies fluttering throughout her entire diaphragm nonetheless, and then the beat is dropping, and—

Oh no.

Joohyun hastily slams her laptop shut, pushing herself away from her desk and abruptly heading to the bathroom to go take a shower.

--

One week later and Joohyun’s driving herself to Taeyeon’s downtown Seoul apartment for the first official table reading with anticipation ringing through her very being. There’s something inherently different about this table read, she can just feel it.

The moment she steps into the complex’s pristine lobby, a body slams into her own, a pair of arms being flung around her shoulders as she lets out a shriek of shock.

“Joohyun-unnie!”

“As energetic as ever, huh, Sooyoung?” Joohyun chuckles, returning the hug once the initial shock wore off. “And so early in the morning, too.”

“It’s not every morning you get to table read with Kim Taeyeon and Bae Joohyun,” Sooyoung grins, backing away with a skip in her step. She twirls a strand of hair around one finger playfully. “Plus, being an idol is kind of my specialty.”

“Just because you’re the only idol in the cast doesn’t mean you’re the expert,” Joohyun teases good-naturally. She crosses her arms. “What if my secret closeted dream was to become an idol and now I’m an idol maven?”

“Ah, then you should feel free to correct me whenever I say something wrong,” Sooyoung laughs, bumping shoulders with Joohyun. “I think between the two of us, we’ve got the entire K-pop industry covered.”

“Oh, definitely.”

They share a laugh, Joohyun wiping at tears of laughter from eyes with a sleeve.

“Wait,” Sooyoung says. “Make that three people, actually.”

“Three?”

“Yeah, three,” Sooyoung smirks. She juts her thumb over her shoulder, pointing to a figure standing silent behind her that Joohyun hadn’t even been able to register, in the midst of everything Sooyoung. “Unnie, you haven’t met Joohyun, right?”

Joohyun’s eyes widen.

“No, I haven’t,” Kang Seulgi laughs lightly. She takes a few a careful few steps towards them, as if not sure how close she’s allowed to be. Dipping her head, Seulgi smiles shyly.

“Joohyun-unnie, this is Kang Seulgi,” Sooyoung introduces with a wave of her hand. Joohyun nods along dumbly, as if she hadn’t been resisting the urge to follow Seulgi’s Instagram with her main account for the past week. Sooyoung sticks her tongue out mischievously. “Used to be a trainee at my company way back in the day before she decided to focus solely on dancing. Now she’s our main dancer! You’ve definitely already seen the cast list, but I figured I’d say it again.”

“No harm in that,” Joohyun smiles, snapping herself out of her stunned gaze. Seulgi’s not wearing her signature crop t-shirt or sweatpants, instead opting for a pair of form-fitting jeans and a casual hoodie, but her mere appearance had caught her off-guard nonetheless— of course it did. She forces herself back into the right state of mind, trapping all other thoughts into a mental box and squishing it. “It’s nice to meet you, Seulgi.”

She holds out a hand to Seulgi, the smile on her face genuinely lighting up at the way Seulgi eagerly takes her hand and beams.

It’s not a chance encounter, but it feels like something akin to fate regardless.

--

The five of them click within in the first five minutes, and to Joohyun, it feels like she’s gained four new best friends, sisters, and children all at once.

It’s practically inevitable that the bonding session happens over a mutual (and highly cathartic) session of teasing Taeyeon the moment they settle onto the leather couches in their producer’s comfortable living room.

“And that’s the story of how Taeyeon slid into my DMs a few months ago to ask if I wanted to be in this movie,” Seungwan concludes with a wide grin, much to the hilarity of the other four girls and Taeyeon’s ever-growing, good-humored embarrassment. Seulgi immediately reaches across the space to offer a high-five to Seungwan, her shoulders shaking from laughter.

“Okay, that’s enough of that,” the producer interrupts. She shakes her head in amusement as the five girls in front of her ripple into one last laugh, Yerim’s head falling into Joohyun’s lap as the youngest gradually relaxes into a wide smile.

“Yes, yes, time to get down to business, girls,” Joohyun fakes a cough to hide her own grin behind a fist. Time to start acting like the leader she’s supposed to be. “We should probably try to actually go through the details and read the script.”

“I guess,” Yerim drones, and Joohyun raises her script to further cover her face, smirking when Yerim half-heartedly hits Joohyun’s packet of papers with her own.

They cover logistics for the first ten minutes, Taeyeon explaining the scenes they’d be covering during the session, as well as directing them to the new addition of actual names for the characters they’d be portraying.

“Irene,” Joohyun mumbles under her breath, testing out the name on her tongue and finding that she likes it. It’s foreign and new, but there’s an air of mystic to it that she finds appealing. It would take some getting used to, but just like any other role, it’s to be expected.

“Also! As a note, you all can use Seulgi’s real name during this table read for now, but as you can see,” Taeyeon points to the script, where the characters, Irene, [Seulgi], Wendy, Joy, and Yeri are listed, “I put her name in brackets to show that it’s just a place holder.”

“We’ll try not to get too comfortable with her, then,” Seungwan teases, earning light laughs from around the room, Seulgi included.

“Other than that, the rest of you have character names that are pretty set in stone, unless you have problems with them,” Taeyeon concludes with a shrug. “It’s subject to change at request, but in any other case, Joohyun is Irene, Seungwan is Wendy, Sooyoung is Joy, and Yerim is Yeri. If anyone has any suggestions for the name of Seulgi’s character, feel free to say something, because I’ve definitely hit a roadblock. Any questions?”

No one raises their hand. Instead, Joohyun looks up from her lines to find a similar look of knowing being passed around between her new castmates.

“Perfect,” Taeyeon claps, pleased. “Let’s begin!”

--

A few days pass, and then the Seulgi’s dance studio is bustling with a mix of nervous and excited energy when Joohyun takes her first steps in. She’s the third one to arrive; Seulgi and Sooyoung are already in the middle of the room, stretching in front of the expansive mirror with admirable flexibility.

“Have you ever danced before, unnie?” Yerim asks from behind her, where she’s walking with Seungwan.

“A bit,” Seungwan says with an amused lilt to her tone, and Joohyun tilts her head to glance at the two. “Just a little choreography for my performances. Nothing as intense at what the K-pop industry requires though, so this’ll be an interesting experience.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Yerim lets out a sigh of relief. “I’m not the only one.”

It’s comforting to Joohyun too, whose shoulders sag slightly. As an actress, dancing had never been one of the requirements before. She’s learned things for roles before – her last movie required her to get decent at pitching in baseball, and a previous drama had suggested that she learn basic programming as well – but never dancing. She’s with Seungwan on this one— it’ll be an interesting experience.

“Have you warmed up, Joohyun?” A voice breaks through her train of thought.

“Ah, Seulgi!” Joohyun blinks, head snapping to the left to find that at some point, Seulgi had finished her stretching and had sidled up to her side without her noticing. The younger girl flashes her a quick smile that Joohyun easily returns with a smile of her own.

“No, I haven’t,” she tells Seulgi, shaking her head. She pauses, then dips her head awkwardly. “Honestly, I don’t know where to start.”

“Hm?” Seulgi tilts her head patiently, waiting for her to elaborate.

“I’m like Yerim and Seungwan,” Joohyun admits. “I’ve never really danced before.”

“Oh! That’s fine!” Seulgi says enthusiastically, not looking deterred in the slightest. She winks, not trying to be subtle in the slightest, and the sight alone is enough to elicit a giggle from Irene. “Good thing I’m here to teach you, then! So, you’ve never danced, ever?”

“Unless you count whatever exercises we did in school, nope.”

“How’s your flexibility?”

“Oh, I’m, uh— I do yoga? If that means anything.” Joohyun furrows her brow, shrugging her shoulders. At Seulgi’s expectant look though, she flushes and easily slides into a split. Sheepishly looking up at Seulgi, Joohyun lets out a laugh at the expression on Seulgi’s face, a perfect mix of surprise and excitement.

“I don’t think you’ll be having many problems with learning to dance, then,” Seulgi grins, and even with all of her doubts, Joohyun can’t help but feel the slightest bit lighter.

Four hours later, and Seulgi whoops in joy as she bounces over to her iPhone in the corner of the room, hitting pause just before the chorus of Ariana Grande’s “Greedy” transitions to the second verse.

Meanwhile, Joohyun remains in the middle of the room, collapsing to the ground in a heap of limbs, breathing heavily. Dancing isn’t something that comes easy, that much she now knows. Still, a strong feeling of accomplishment has bubbled up in her chest, situating itself between her ribs and aching in the best way possible.

Dancing had just come automatically, felt like it was something she’d meant to do her whole life.

“What did I tell you?” Seulgi beams. She sits next to Joohyun on the floor, easily brushes some hair out of Joohyun’s face. “You’re a natural!”

“Joohyun-unnie, you’re amazing!” Yerim says excitedly from where she leans against the wall with Seungwan and Sooyoung.

“How’d you memorize the chorus so fast?” Seungwan asks, genuinely curious.

“I—” Joohyun pushes herself up, finding herself without a real answer. “I wish I could tell you, but I don’t know. I guess I was just having a lot of fun.”

“That’s amazing,” Seungwan merely says in admiration, repeating Yerim’s prior statement.

“There’s nothing unnie can’t do!” Sooyoung cheers, and there’s very real pride lingering there.

Joohyun rolls her eyes playfully.

“See?” Seulgi nudges her with a wide grin, hands Joohyun a bottle of ice cold water. Joohyun resists the urge to dump it over her head— suddenly, the dance studio’s hotter than she remembers it being a minute ago. Seulgi doesn’t seem to notice Joohyun’s inner turmoil though, instead opting to bump their shoulders together. “Nothing to worry about.”

--

“Okay, another suggestion!” Taeyeon chimes as she throws open the door and strolls into Joohyun’s apartment where Joohyun is lounging on the couch, casually scrolling through her social media. After years of their friendship, she’s gotten used to Taeyeon barging in at random intervals by now.

“So how does ‘Rowoon’ sound for Seulgi’s stage name?”

Joohyun merely lifts an eyebrow, and she props herself up on an elbow, a smile quirking on her lips in amusement. She locks her phone.

“As nice of a name that it is, I don’t really see it fitting someone like Seulgi.”

“I know.” Taeyeon groans, flopping onto the other side of the couch with a sigh. She casts a glance Joohyun’s way, scrunching her nose in frustration. “Somehow, the proper name just isn’t coming to mind. It was so easy to think of the other fake stage names. I just don’t understand why I can’t seem to think of one for Seulgi.”

Joohyun hums, considering her friend and producer intently. Then she shrugs, unlocking her phone and resuming her social media surfing.

“Do you want my honest opinion?”

“I’ll take any opinion at this rate.”

Joohyun laughs at that, shaking her head.

“I haven’t known her for that long, but honestly, I can’t see Seulgi as anyone other than ‘Seulgi’, if you know what I mean.” The actress shrugs, absentmindedly pressing the heart icon on Seulgi’s latest Instagram post— the choreographer had made a cute dance cover to the Baby Shark song.

It’s just too endearing.

Joohyun smiles.

“Grass is green, water is wet, Seulgi is Seulgi."

“Seulgi is Seulgi,” Taeyeon repeats, exhaling with a light laugh. “I should’ve known. Nothing’s really felt righter than that.”

“Is there anything wrong with using her real name for her character?” Joohyun questions.

“No, there shouldn’t be, so long as she has no problems with it,” Taeyeon muses. Joohyun watches her tilt her head in consideration. “Truthfully, while I wrote the script with the five of you in mind for the characters, it’s Seulgi who I think is the closest to her counterpart.”

Joohyun nods, vividly recalling that first table read, being so endeared by how genuine Seulgi’s acting had been. Thinking back, it hadn’t been very hard to get in the headspace of Irene, but Joohyun has a distinct feeling that Seulgi had no problems whatsoever, despite having no professional experience in acting prior.

Seulgi is Seulgi, it just makes sense.

--

“I’m Seulgi!” Seulgi cheers, bouncing on the tips of her toes in excited circles around Joohyun, who sits on the practice room’s wooden floor, crisscross applesauce, with a wide grin on her face and laughter on her lips. “Seulgi, Seulgi, Seulgi!”

“You’re making me dizzy, Seul,” Joohyun jokes, flings out an arm to grab at Seulgi’s ankle, laughs as Seulgi instead skids to her knees next to Joohyun in an overdramatic fashion. Out of breath, Seulgi props an arm up on Joohyun’s shoulder as Joohyun, rolling her eyes in amusement, reaches up to push away the strands of hair that had fallen into Seulgi’s face. “You dork.”

“There aren’t any more brackets!” Seulgi says excitedly, ing the new, final script into Joohyun’s face, watching the way Joohyun’s eyes skim across the front page to find that yes, indeed, their character names are listed Irene, Seulgi, Wendy, Joy, and Yeri. “I’m Seulgi! It’s final!”

“You’re Seulgi,” Joohyun repeats with a giggle.

Seulgi beams.

There’s a light squeak as the door behind them opens, and three energetic pairs of footsteps patter against the polished floor as they enter the practice room. Seulgi immediately perks up, excitement glimmering across her features as she shouts Seungwan’s name to share with her the news.

Joohyun’s pushing herself up to go greet them when another body rams into her own, effectively tackling her into a hug.

“Hug attack!”

“Sooyoung!” Joohyun yelps in surprise, barking out a laugh as Sooyoung easily rests her chin on the top of Joohyun’s head. “What on earth— Just what is up with you and hugging me out of nowhere?”

“Wow, you’re pretty small, unnie,” Sooyoung muses, completely ignoring Joohyun, her arms still firmly wrapped around the older girl’s torso. “I didn’t realize before until now. Like, wow.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Joohyun scrunches her nose.

“Dunno,” Sooyoung hums, hugs Joohyun tighter. “You seem so much more larger-than-life on screen.”

“Is that bad?”

“Not at all. Sometimes it’s better to be small. You’re easier to hug.”

Joohyun doesn’t know what to say to that.

Sooyoung doesn’t seem to mind.

“I was doing an experiment,” the taller girl continues. She finally retracts herself from her position draped over Joohyun’s figure, backing up with a of her head. “You didn’t react the same way Seungwan did.”

“How did she act?” Joohyun asks curiously.

“She got all blushy and shy.” Sooyoung puffs out a cheek. “And then she tried to curl in on herself in embarrassment or something.”

“Or something,” Joohyun jokes, trying to bite back the smile creeping across her face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Sooyoung-ie,” Joohyun chuckles. For someone so perceptive, Sooyoung could be rather dense. Joohyun mentally takes a note of it, tucks it away in the back of her head for a later reference. “Don’t worry about it.”

--

“The company’s debuting a new boy group next month,” Joohyun says softly, her lips upturning in a frown. She leans against the counter, staring out over the living room, to where Seulgi sits, cross-legged on the couch. “Jongin is finally debuting. He was over the moon when I saw him at the company building today.”

“That’s good.” Seulgi’s smile is small and her voice is hoarse. She doesn’t meet Joohyun’s gaze, staring absently at some patch of the wall. “He deserves it. I’m happy for him.”

“Johnny didn’t make it through, though.”

“Oh.” The dancer heaves a deep breath.

“I’m sure he’ll make it next time,” Joohyun insists.

“Will there be a next time?” Seulgi wonders, and Joohyun flinches. She knows the younger girl doesn’t mean anything harsh about it, but she also knows that the sting of rejection from the last girl group’s pick still lingers. “Seungyeon and Chanmi quit last week. I heard that Seungyeon wants to go into acting instead.”

“There will be,” Joohyun says insistently, far fiercer than intended. She crosses the living room in three strides, dumping herself onto the couch and tugging Seulgi into a hug. “There will.”

“I’m losing my voice, unnie,” Seulgi says, her voice breaking mid-sentence, that small smile never leaving her lips. “I can’t practice singing.”

“Then we can dance until it comes back,” Joohyun declares.

“We?” Seulgi questions, but the look in her eye has already brightened.

“It’s more fun to dance with you,” Joohyun chuckles, little circles into the back of Seulgi’s hand with a hum. “Besides, you’re better at dancing than me, which means you can teach me.”

“It’s a good thing I don’t need my voice to help you, then,” Seulgi jokes, garnering a laugh from Joohyun.

“Good thing, indeed,” she agrees, resting her head on Seulgi’s shoulder.

“And, CUT!” Taeyeon’s voice resounds through the set, and a buzzer rings, signifying the end of the take. She claps her hands in delight when she steps out from behind the director’s monitor, making her way over to where Joohyun and Seulgi are detangling their limbs while holding back giggles. “Great job, you two! We’ll take a short break and review the tape before doing another take.”

After a month of constant dance practice and memorizing lines in their free time, filming had finally begun.

“God, I feel so embarrassed,” Seulgi laughs, trying to duck behind Joohyun. “I haven’t acted in front of a camera in years.”

“You were amazing,” Joohyun promises. She reaches out, squeezes Seulgi’s knee, their gazes connecting and Joohyun’s not sure what possesses her to do it, but she does anyway—

She winks, a coy smile curling at the corners of her lips.

“You’re a natural,” Joohyun whispers, and she takes pleasure in the way Seulgi’s eyes widen ever-so-slightly; in the way Seulgi’s mouth parts to say something in return, but before any noise can escape, Seungwan, Yerim, and Sooyoung’s excited voices fill the space and drown anything else out.

“Seul, that was amazing!”

“It was like I was on an emotional roller coaster!”

Seungwan and Yerim are as encouraging as ever.

“I could literally feel the !”

Sooyoung’s compliments come packaged in her own special way.

Joohyun laughs regardless, catches a glimpse at Seulgi’s reddening face, and then immediately schools her expression back into something pensive at Taeyeon’s call for a second take.

--

In all truthfulness, Joohyun’s not ever sure she’ll get used to flashing lights.

Filming a movie is one thing on their own. She can act out an intimate scene with a co-star as if the camera isn’t even filming. She’s gotten compliments about that before; been told that it’s the close-quarters, emotional scenes that make Joohyun shine.

And in her humble opinion, photography cameras are another thing entirely— the flash is surprising, thoroughly intrusive, and completely inconsiderate of personal boundaries. She supposes it’s partially because she’s gotten so used to getting tailed by the paparazzi, given how they’re certain not as subtle as they think they are, with their large cameras, bright flashing lights, and deafening shutters.

Press conferences are full of shutters and lights and paparazzi, and Joohyun’s learned to just deal with it. She’s not the biggest fan of the stand-and-look-pretty parts, but the actual conference portion is always good fun— she likes discussing her upcoming films, the types of scenes she’s looking forward to, as well as the types of characters to expect.

It’s first time she calls herself Irene in public, and the audience coos in the way Joohyun immediately covers her face with her hands as curls around the words, “Hi, I’m Red Velvet’s leader, Irene!”

“Our leader’s a bit shy,” Seungwan chimes in mischievously, smirking at the way Joohyun shoots her a playful glare. “She’s not used to suddenly having four other girls to take care of yet!”

“Don’t worry, Irene-unnie,” Seulgi says, immediately picking up her mic and flashing her a huge smile. “As second oldest, I’ll do my best to look after the others too!”

“But when you get with Sooyoung and Yerim, you’re one of the kids!” Joohyun protests through giggles.

“Hey, I can be responsible too!” Seulgi insists. “I carried Yerim on my back the other day because she was tired!”

“Well, I have been cooking her food every day for the past week!”

“Joohyun-unnie cooks very well,” Yerim adds helpfully.

“We get it, you’re Yerim’s moms!” Sooyoung interjects, though her words are in good fun and carry no weight. “Now stop flirting, I’m getting jealous!”

Joohyun only rolls her eyes, winking at Seulgi as the MC moves on to the audience questions.

--

They get the rest of the night off, and while Joohyun had initially planned on going home and sinking into a warm bed afterward, she instead finds herself clutching her sides in laughter as she sits on a couch in a karaoke room, watching Sooyoung try (and honestly, mostly succeed) in singing NCT Dream’s “My First and Last” at double speed.

“Man, I’m so glad to have met you all,” Seungwan says the moment the song comes to a close and Sooyoung plops back down beside her, all out of breath. Seungwan reaches up, pushes some hair out of Sooyoung’s face, and chuckles. “I’ve been having so much fun with you guys. Touring on your own can get a bit dull, I guess I forgot what it was like.”

“Well, now you’re stuck with us!” Yerim declares, and she chooses that moment to tackle Seungwan into a hug that Sooyoung and Seulgi easily dogpile onto.

Joohyun hums before leisurely making her way over and patting their backs, not feeling like adding another body for Seungwan to be crushed under.

Still, the feeling of having such a group of friends is a warm one, and it courses through her body, starting from the depths of her chest and spreading outwards, warming from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.

She decides that she loves feeling, and she wonders if all girl groups felt this sort of camaraderie all the time.

--

They’re still at the karaoke place when articles released about the press conference, siting the movie to be “an intriguing dive into the lives of trainees and idols of the entertainment industry,” and that “it’s a movie that will be for all ages, and a lovely diverging from Taeyeon’s typically more action-packed style”.

It all sounds very promising, and Joohyun can already feel the pressure to do well slowly sinking on her shoulders.

But then an arm wraps around her waist, and Seulgi is there, handing her a mic and asking Joohyun if she wants to sing So Chan Whee’s “Tears”, and well, who can say no to that?

Joohyun allows herself to sink into the happy atmosphere, feeling her worries fade away as their voices resound loud and clear.

--

“Thanks for driving me home, unnie,” Yerim tells her from the passenger seat, later that night. “Sorry if it’s causing you any trouble.”

It’s well past midnight now, and while Seulgi had her own car, and Sooyoung had uncharacteristically stammered some excuse about Seungwan staying over her apartment instead of the usual hotel room, Joohyun had insisted on driving the youngest of their group home.

“Of course, Yerim,” Joohyun flashes her a smile before focusing back on the road. “It’s no trouble at all, really! I’m more than happy to make sure you’re getting home safely.”

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent.”

“That really means a lot to me, unnie,” Yerim says sincerely.

“Think nothing of it,” Joohyun replies softly. “You feel like a younger sister to me, Yerim. I’d be glad to drive you anywhere you need.”

“A younger sister,” Yerim muses. She lapses into silence for a minute, and although Joohyun can’t see the look on Yerim’s face, she can tell that the younger girl is deep in thought. Then— “I’ve never had a big sister before, you know? I’ve always been the oldest in my family, so it’s been my responsibility to take care of my younger siblings.” She pauses. “The youngest two especially, since I have such a big between from them. Truthfully, it’s like I’m another parent.

“These days, though,” Yerim continues, “It’s like I’ve gained four older sisters. They all take care of me really well, and even though they tease me sometimes, I always feel like they really love me.” Yerim twiddles her fingers in her lap, and from the corner of her eye, Joohyun sees her try to smother down a wide smile. “I’m really grateful. It’s the first time I’ve had big sisters.”

Joohyun carefully navigates them to the side of the road, stopping right outside the lobby of Yerim’s apartment. Shifting the gear to park, she casts Yerim a knowing smile.

“How are you liking having four new big sisters?”

Yerim beams.

“I love it a lot!”

--

The text from Seulgi that Saturday afternoon had come as a surprise.

It’s a rare day off from shooting, and Joohyun, not one to go out without a purpose, had found herself restless in her apartment for the better portion of the morning. There hadn’t been much to do other than cleaning and doing the laundry, and as soon as the afternoon hit and her chores came to a halt, Joohyun had found herself struck with an odd sense of emptiness.

It hadn’t occurred to her before then that she’d gotten much too used to the boisterous noise and high energy from her time with the other girls. When she was with them, she seemed to merely feed off of their excitement, smiles coming easier to her than ever before.

To be without them is… striking.

She’d been about to get lost in thought again when a ding rang through the room, and then Joohyun was unlocking her phone.

She’d read the message, eyes wide, before hastily replying a swift yes please!

Now she enters the dance studio that had become a second home with a spring in her step, eagerly pushing open the door to find just the person she’d been looking for already waiting for her in the lobby.

“Joohyun!” Seulgi beams, eagerly leaping to her feet and jogging over to her. “Are you ready to practice?”

“More than ever,” Joohyun giggles, more than amused at the way Seulgi keeps bouncing in enthusiasm from one foot to the other. “What are we working on today, anyway?”

“A dance I choreographed,” Seulgi says immediately, and Joohyun’s not sure if she imagines it, but she thinks she sees a hint of nervousness flash across Seulgi’s face. “It’s for an additional scene I talked with Taeyeon about back when you first started learning to dance. We were technically supposed to start working on it on Monday, but I was getting restless back at my place.”

“Oh!” Joohyun smiles, already turning to head to the practice room. “That sounds like fun! We’ll have to catch the other girls up to speed later, then.”

“Um, that’s not necessary,” Seulgi flushes, reaching up to scratch the back of her head. “This one’s only for us, actually.”

Joohyun stops in place just as the world comes to a halt.

“Us?” She spins around, wonders if the earth has tilted off its axis while she’s at it. Is this what it feels like to fly? “Like, just you and me?”

Seulgi nods slowly.

“Just Seulgi and Joohyun.” If even possible, Seulgi’s face blushes an even deeper shade of red. “Is… Is that okay? Taeyeon said it would be a really nice addition to the film, since our characters are the oldest two who’ve known each other the longest, but I can always ask her for the scene to be removed if you don’t—”

“It’s okay!” Joohyun interrupts enthusiastically, hopes that Seulgi doesn’t notice the way her voice has risen an octave in her complete exhilaration. “It’s more than okay!” Alright, maybe that’s a bit too much. She shakes her head, a smile crossing her lips. “Teach it to me, Seulgi.”

Seulgi immediately brightens, nods her head quickly.

“Of course! But first, we need to grab some chairs from the closet over there.”

By the end of the day, Joohyun’s never been more in love with a dance in her life.

--

The filming of any movie comes with a routine of sorts, although Joohyun decides to use the definition of “routine” loosely in this case, considering how there’s just no telling what will go on during her days of practice and filming. She's never been so enraptured by a routine before, it's a new feeling.

Nevertheless, she can always be sure that someone will get into shenanigans— be it Yerim pranking Sooyoung by filling her trailer full of rubber ducks, or Seungwan managing to talk Seulgi into sneaking little drawings of cats onto Taeyeon’s notes, or Joohyun herself getting bored and opting to see how many snacks she can sneak off the snack cart and stack on top of each other before someone notices.

Seulgi’s surprisingly vigilant, catching Joohyun more than anyone else. She never says anything, merely takes an extra bagel or donut or muffin to add to Joohyun’s stash.

“One of these days, you should try stealing from Yerim’s collection of melon bread,” Seulgi tells her once. “Then you’ll be in trouble.”

Joohyun takes it as a challenge.

“Only if I get caught,” she says with a smirk perfectly matching the glint in her eye. “We’ll see how long it takes her to notice. I’m guessing more than four hours.”

“Bet,” Seulgi says.

(The answer is six hours, and Joohyun whoops victoriously as Seulgi hands over a few bills after they’ve filmed the last scene of the day.)

--

There are always those kinds of questions that interviewers ask during their press tours: What scene was hardest to film? How well do you and your co-stars get along? What was your favorite scene to film?

And if Joohyun were to answer that latter question, it would definitely be this:

A dark auditorium, two chairs, a velvet curtain, only a single, moving camera. Nothing but Joohyun, Seulgi, and the rhythmic beat of their cover of S.E.S’s “Be Natural” thumping through the speakers.

From somewhere offstage, Seungwan, Sooyoung, and Yerim are watching with unbridled anticipation, mostly because Seulgi had done her very best to keep the choreography a secret up until that moment, having not even let them sit in on their practice sessions.

Years from now, Joohyun will recall this moment like this:

Despite the auditorium being virtually empty, Joohyun looks at Seulgi from across the stage and feels the atmosphere start to heat up. It brings a redness to her cheeks that’s certainly not the blush her makeup artist had sprinkled on. Between them, the air seems to pulse with the bass of the opening.

And then it’s her cue, and Joohyun takes her chair and drags it into the spotlight, to where Seulgi is already waiting.

One take is all they need.

One take is more than enough.

Joohyun treasures every second of it.

--

She finds herself alone with Sooyoung one night, the two of them hanging back in Sooyoung’s Seoul apartment, another day of not having any scenes to feature in. They lounge on opposite ends of the couch, a bowl of popcorn shared between them. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind had just finished playing on the TV, and now they’ve channel surfed to some channel airing a re-run of past idol performances.

They both get a good laugh when Sooyoung’s own solo performance flashes on the screen; an old thing from back when Sooyoung had just debuted a few years ago, back before the young idol-actress had achieved such fame in the world of dramas.

“Joohyun-unnie, did you know?”

“Hm?”

“I debuted as a soloist so that I wouldn’t be held back by anyone,” Sooyoung tells Joohyun, her face open and honest. Her eyes then leave Joohyun’s, coming to focus on something on the floor. She scuffs the rug with the tip of her toe. “At least, that’s what I told myself. In reality, I think I was just scared. I had a lot of doubts about myself, and I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone else.”

Joohyun furrows her brow, frowning. She reaches out, wordlessly places what she hopes to be a comforting hand on Sooyoung’s shoulder.

Sooyoung’s resulting smile is small but grateful.

“I desperately wanted to debut,” she says softly, tips her head back to stare up at the bright, bright lights. “I desperately wanted to be an idol. But the thing is that unless you fight for yourself, and unless you have the confidence, you’re not going anywhere. So, one day, I steeled myself up and created some narrative that I wanted to depend only on myself. My company sure believed me, so that’s what I did.

“And I mean, if I was going to fail, at least I’d be failing on my own.” Sooyoung shrugs one final time. “So I debuted solo.”

“How was it?” Joohyun asks, quiet.

“Lonely,” Sooyoung laughs, but there’s no humor behind it. She shrugs, something soft and sad. “Acting is fun because I get to finally play off other people. Being alone in a dressing room, though… it’s just lonely. I think that’s why I’m so drawn to Seungwan. She says she’s lonely, but she has such a big heart. She’s so… light. I saw her for the first time and wanted a piece of it.”

Joohyun nods. She thinks back to that karaoke session, back to when Seungwan had pulled them all into a group hug, had said so genuinely that she was thankful for meeting them. And then she thinks of herself, alone in her apartment, and the elation she’d felt when she’d received that text from Seulgi, asking if she wanted to practice together; thinks of “Be Natural”, the way they’d so easily put their hands on each other, seamlessly going through the motions, every movement meaningful.

She thinks of Seulgi, thinks she knows what Sooyoung thinks of Seungwan.

“I know the feeling,” she tells Sooyoung with a small smile. “That feeling of wanting a piece of that light.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” Joohyun laughs gently. “I really do think we could all just be a group of lonely people, brought together by some higher power who was tired of all of us being mopey.”

“Honestly, that sounds about right,” Sooyoung chuckles. “We’re all lonely together.”

“You know what? I really like the sound of that. Maybe one day we won’t be lonely anymore.”

Joohyun has a feeling that that day might come sooner than she thinks.

“Maybe this is the second chance that us lonely people need.”

--

Her character’s emotional is one of the last to be filmed. Apparently, it had been the scene that Taeyeon had struggled with writing the most, and Joohyun can’t really blame her. Nevertheless, Joohyun had anticipated and dreaded this the most.

In a way, it’s like she’s having to confront her fears. She’s not sure whether this is a good or bad thing until Taeyeon snaps the clapperboard shut and finally calls the first ACTION!

When she’d peered at the script and saw that it was Seulgi who’d she be sharing the scene with, she’d tipped her head back and laughed, because of course it would be Seulgi. She really should’ve guessed.

They film at nighttime, atop a Seoul rooftop garden under the blanket of a dark sky, the only companion of theirs being the city lights illuminating the outlines of their faces.

“If I take the plunge to make my own dream come true, am I holding someone else’s back?” The waver in Joohyun’s voice isn’t forced.

“But what about everyone else who’s jumping with you?” Seulgi fires back. “What about the people who are holding your hands? Or the people who want to see you succeed? The people who want you standing by their side?”

Joohyun watches the way Seulgi swallows and the older girl heaves a breath. Their faces are close together, and it’s way too intimate, and suddenly she forgets all about the cameras filming them, forgets that they’ll probably have to do another take of this scene because one is never enough, forgets that one day the world will see this conversation and the way they’re looking into each other’s eyes.

Right now, it’s their moment— Joohyun and Seulgi’s.

The lines are scripted but the way Joohyun’s heart races is not.

“I want you by my side, Irene,” Seulgi says, her tone quiet and genuine. “I know we all do— Wendy, Joy, and Yeri too. But I just wanted you to know. I want you to stand next to me onstage. And there’s a lot you can do as an idol; a lot of change you can make, especially once you’ve made it big. You’ve worked so hard to get here. So you’re not just debuting for yourself, even if it sometimes feels that way. We want you here too, Irene. I want you here too. And soon, the world will as well.”

--

“Seulgi!” Joohyun calls as Seulgi’s starting to walk back to her stylist, who’s motioning to fix Seulgi’s hair and makeup. Taeyeon had just called for a short break, deciding to take a look at all the takes they’d managed to film so far, all of them just as emotional as the rest.

Joohyun had been so immensely proud after the first take alone. Having not acted since her days as an idol trainee, Seulgi had come into this film with more nerves than the rest of them. Not once throughout the months of filming had Seulgi ever slipped or slacked in her performances.

Seulgi and her hard-working personality has always been more than enough to make Joohyun’s heart ache in her chest.

And now Seulgi pauses, looking over her shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“This is a weird time to ask, but—” The pounding in her chest doesn’t stop. It rings in her ears, her palms feeling clammy as she clenches them, “—Would you like to come over my place later?”

Seulgi blinks in surprise, and Joohyun waits with bated breath as she watches a myriad of emotions that Joohyun just can’t place play over Seulgi’s face.

Then—

“Of course,” Seulgi smiles, nodding eagerly. “I’d love to!”

--

“Taeyeon let it slip earlier that you were the one who helped her write the end of that scene,” Joohyun says, sinking into one end of her couch with a glass of wine. She nods in quiet appreciation at Seulgi, who sits on the other end of the couch, fostering her own glass.

“I did,” Seulgi chuckles lowly, taking a small sip. Neither of them are much of a drinkers. “The question was something I thought a lot about back when I was a trainee. Did you know that I didn’t debut because someone who’d trained for a shorter period of time was chosen for the group instead?”

“That’s…” Joohyun frowns, not knowing what to say to that.

“I tried to be bitter for a while,” Seulgi laughs. She shakes her head. “But I really just couldn’t. That girl who took my position… She had a dream too. She’d put in so much hard work in the short time she’d been a trainee, and it had paid off. I can’t really hate her for wanting to achieve her dreams so desperately.”

“That makes sense,” Joohyun says softly.

“Everyone has their own dreams and aspirations,” Seulgi nods, and then she tilts her head considerably. “That girl… I’d wanted to stand onstage with her too. So did all the other members of her group. We’d all been friends, after all. It was only after I thought about those facts that I realized that there are always people who want you somewhere, no matter where that is.”

“I always feel guilty,” Joohyun murmurs. She places her glass down on her coffee table. “When I get a role after auditioning, there’s always a nagging part of me that’s guilty. Someone else who’d auditioned might’ve wanted that role just as desperately as me, and I just took it.”

“Then that just means that you’ve got to do the best you possibly can for all of the people who support you,” Seulgi smiles. “There will always be people who want you in that place. I will always want you in that place, Joohyun. No matter what you want to do in your career.”

“Should I continue my acting for you?” Joohyun questions, feeling the smile start to grow on her face.

“Maybe not just for me,” Seulgi chuckles, but then she pauses, backtracks, smirks. “But yes, for me.”

Joohyun laughs.

“You’re not what I expected, Kang Seulgi.”

“I didn’t exactly walk into this movie expecting to fall head over heels for you either, Bae Joohyun,” Seulgi returns with a grin.

Joohyun hums, nodding.

But then Seulgi’s words hit, and Joohyun’s jaw drops.

And it seems that Seulgi hadn’t realized the weight of what had just left her lips either, because then the younger woman’s eyes are going wide, mouth opening and closing with nothing tangible to be heart.

“I-I—” Seulgi sputters. “Wait a minute—”

By some miracle, Joohyun’s the one that recovers first.

“You fell for me?”

Seulgi takes the nearest throw pillow and buries her face into it. Nevertheless, she nods, refusing to let Joohyun see her face.

“So you have been flirting…? And the dance…?”

“I really wanted to dance with you,” Seulgi mumbles, peering at Joohyun from behind the pillow. “When we were teaching you all how to dance, and I saw how natural you moved despite having never danced seriously before, I think that’s when I knew.”

Joohyun nods wordlessly, suddenly at a loss for words.

“Please just let me sink into a puddle!” Seulgi groans, trying to hide in on herself again. “Acting in a feature film is easier than whatever this is!”

“I slammed my laptop shut the first time I watched your choreography,” Joohyun blurts out. She’s not sure why she says that humiliating fact that in particular, but there’s this need to fill the space with something. She supposes that a part of her feels the need to even the playing field. “It was the ‘Lucky Strike’ choreo. You were wearing a croptop, sweatpants, and baseball hat.”

“Wh—” Seulgi’s eyes go wide, and parts and closes yet again, ever like a fish.

“I slammed my laptop shut the first time,” Joohyun repeats, slower this time, feeling her face heat up as she ducks her head, thoroughly embarrassed. “And then I went to take a really, really cold shower.”

Seulgi stares at her in wide-eyed silence.

Joohyun wishes she could let the ground swallow her whole.

And then—

It starts out quiet, but then it grows and grows and then suddenly Seulgi’s laughing, bright and loud and clear and it swirls up, up, up to the sky and past the setting sun, and now Joohyun’s the one that’s wide-eyed and in awe, because despite any and all embarrassment, it’s all worth it if she gets to see Seulgi’s eyes disappear into beautiful crescent moons; if she gets to hear Seulgi’s laughter that swirls around, makes the world a lighter place.

“Go on a date with me,” Seulgi says as soon as she’s calmed down. Her eyes are brighter than before, and her big smile makes Joohyun feel like she could touch the sky. “Once we’re all done with filming the movie, will you go on a date with me, Joohyun?”

“I’d love to,” Joohyun says, the corners of her lips being tugged upwards in wide grin. She points at Seulgi dramatically. “But only if you’re my date at the premiere.”

Seulgi nods eagerly, placing her own glass on the coffee table, hardly any wine having been drunk, before lurching across the couch to catch Joohyun in a tight hug that she playfully tries to wriggle out of.

“It’s a done deal, Bae Joohyun!” Seulgi declares with a grin as Joohyun tries to squirm away. “You’re stuck with me!”

“Oh no,” Joohyun laughs. “Whatever shall I do?”

“Keep dancing with me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

 

 

End.