“No offence, but you look sort of ridiculous.”

“Yeah, well, your face is ridiculous.”

Shim Changmin lifted his arms as a stylist noona ran her hands down his sides, measuring his height and waist to the perfect degree. His best friend, a young and half-asleep twenty-something Cho Kyuhyun, leaned against the wall across from him, having had done his hair and makeup tens of minutes before.

“I'm serious here. That colour on you should be completely banned. It looks horrendous. Whoever chooses your clothes need to be fired immediately,” Kyuhyun said, gesturing to the bright maroon button down shirt that was currently being fitted on Changmin.

“Excuse you,” the stylist noona sniffed as she sewed the hem of Changmin's shirt. “That would be me, thank you very much. You're blind as a bat, Kyuhyun-sshi. He looks fantastic. Handsome, if I dare say so myself.”

Changmin chuckled. “He's also as crazy as a bat.”

“Hey! Respect your elders, dongsaeng,” Kyuhyun grumbled, leaning over the stylist noona to punch Changmin in the arm, harder than necessary.

“Hypocrite,” the stylist noona mumbled under her breath as she finished putting the last touch on Changmin's outfit. “Good luck, Changmin-ah,” she smiled warmly at her friend before turning to Kyuhyun. “... You too, I suppose,” and then she walked away.

Kyuhyun moved closer to Changmin so their shoulders were brushing. They had fitted Kyuhyun would shoelifts – although there was barely two inches difference in height. “So, this is it.”

Changmin laughed nervously, looking over at Kyuhyun. The older male's hair was permed and styled to perfection, every brown curl and wave reflecting against the natural sunlight peering through the windows, bow lips pursed. “It's only a meeting, Kyuhyun.”

“A meeting to plan the show,” Kyuhyun nudged him in the arm. “It's a big deal. It could decide whether we have to kiss or not!” he crinkled his nose and Changmin felt his heart hammer furiously in his chest.

“Yeah, that would be gross,” he said the words halfheartedly. To tell the truth, a few months ago when they were first casted for the show, Yunho had joked that perhaps they would have to conceive the baby themselves.

And that changed everything.

Since then, Changmin's mind had been plagued with images of Kyuhyun pressing him against a wall, exploring his mouth with his tongue... holding hands against the firelight... waking up the morning after curled in each other's arms with the taste of each other in their mouths.

It wasn't that he had a crush on Kyuhyun. He liked girls. He liked long legs and s and pretty smiles. But it was hard not to get such thoughts in his head when they were going to be acting as a married couple for four months of filming... with a child.

“Changmin-sshi, Kyuhyun-sshi?” one of the hasty assistants called out. Kyuhyun grabbed his arm and grinned.

“It's now or never,” he said. Changmin nodded, and they were pulled into the KBS-MBC meeting room.

* * *

“... after much research we have concluded that our primary target region, teenage girls, are infatuated with roles in same- couples. As such, we would like to bring up the issue of whether Changmin-sshi or Kyuhyun-sshi would like to take on the more feminine role. Obviously, it's simply an act, and we all know you both are extremely masculine. But it would pull in more viewers and earn more money for the show, as well as reassure the other press and media that this new season isn't that a far cry from the old seasons.”

So far they had run over schedule timing, sets, staff issues, and scripting. Changmin knew that this was going to come up in the discussion eventually, but...

Silence fell between the two idols before Kyuhyun spoke up, “what qualities did you have in mind for the more feminine role?”

The writer coughed. “Well, we don't want to make you into people you aren't – this is still a reality show, even if it's a bit exaggerated and the scenes are planned out beforehand. We can't control what you nor the baby does, to an extent. We were thinking the more sensitive person, possibly defensive, quieter of you two? Possibly the more maternal in addition. If either of you could cook or enjoy cleaning, that would be a plus.”

Oh.

Well, that sounded a heck of a lot like Changmin.

Kyuhyun seemed to think so too. “Changmin, then. I can't cook for my life. The hyungs banned me from going near the kitchen. What kind of a man cooks, anyways?” He stuck his nose in the air in mock pride.

“I learned to cook from Ja...” he stumbled over his words, “my own hyungs! Cooking is practically a sport. It takes real manliness and skill to cook! There's a fire there!”

“Settle down,” one of the executives motioned with his hand to calm down. “Save the bickering for the show. The audience will love that.”

“Uhm,” the writer interrupted. “With that settled, the meeting is over. We'll meet against on Thursday to record the first few scenes.”

Wait... wait a second!

“Wait!” Changmin called, so suddenly that Kyuhyun placed a hand on Changmin's shoulder to keep him sitting down. “You told us all about the We Got Married part of the show but... what about the child we'll be taking care of?”

The executives smiled. “You'll just have to find out, won't you?”

And then they left, leaving Changmin and Kyuhyun in an empty room, in shock.