hi,

i think i'm getting better at lying. i know, if i told you this a few months ago you would snort and tell me i'm just fooling myself, but it's true. i think?

you've always told me i'm a bad liar. and i agree. i never really understood the idea of deceit. but then, more often than not, i do it. though you'd figure out i'm lying. every. single. time. i still have no idea how you do that. 

ah, yes, lying. i'm getting better at it. i think it's inevitable in my case not to. i do it every day now. ever since you left. i just didn't, and still don't know what to do. how did we end up here? 

every day, i lie to everyone, pretending i'm fine when i'm most definitely not. putting up a facade. trying to look brave again. as i should. just like how i originally was. it's a wonder how i barely remember who i was before you. i recall bits of me, but nothing else. i guess you were the one who made my life worth remembering.

perhaps, this is how i was before i met you. it would make sense, right? i mean, after you left, maybe i got back to being initially who i was? just worse, i think? probably duller, gloomier, less lively, more pretentious, except i'm better at lying now. it's difficult though. i did not know lying is this exhausting.

you must have been exhausted too. i mean, you are the better liar between the two of us, right? it's stupid of me to not know you were only putting up a front. did you have a hard time when you were with me? are you better now? i sure hope so. you deserve it. 

eunbi unnie came over the other day