Doojoon Hyung and Kwangie were out for an early schedule. The rest of us were left behind awake three in the morning. Talking nonsense and sharing maybe a false rumor but, even though I have much fun talking to the members I couldn’t bare myself watching them, talking to them for my emotion were at the edge of its outburst.

I know it was pointless, being jealous for nothing like Yoseobie and Junhyung sitting together. I was controlling myself to pull Junhyung and sit beside me but I can’t. I just can’t look at both of them so, I focused my gaze into Dongwoonie maybe that way I could not notice them.

I’m really jealous of Yoseobie but that doesn’t mean that I hate him. If I have to name the person who I hated the most, it would probably be Junhyung. He was insensitive and immature.

He WAS like a brother to me; we ate, watched, slept and occasionally bathed together. As time passed our relationship maybe didn’t stay strong that’s why our treating for each other grew old faster than the short period time passed.

I didn’t know why but it just happened and he moved closer to Yoseobie. From that day onward he was witty and outgoing; in my dictionary he became more immature. I may think of him like that but why do I feel so jealous?

When we were always together he doesn’t express too much. I always decide what we play and do next. Maybe that’s the reason he changed.

Maybe I’m jealous of Yoseobie for he was the one who let out the real him, the real “beast” that was hidden beneath his façade. I think I don’t hate him but rather myself for not bringing his true self out. Maybe this jealousy is a sign that hate isn’t the right word to say it but rather…

LOVE… I wished I realized soon. I could have made the first move.