“Please, let’s talk.”

—“You seem to be happier with her. I don’t see anything that we can talk about.”

“Hey, let’s fix this. We can fix this, okay?”

—“We can’t. There’s nothing to be fixed, alright? I don’t want any of this anymore.”

“It’s easy to say that, but have you given it another thought?”

—“How about you? Did you give it another thought before doing the reason why we became like this? No? Then I shouldn’t give this another thought.”

“Hey, listen—”

—beep… beep… beep…

It’s only the sound of the other line hanging up on the call.

It was something that bothered me recently.

It was something I regret doing.

Waking up without her by my side, I’m slowly getting used to it. I broke up with my girlfriend, Kwon Eunbi a year ago after finding out that all this time, she’s still in love with her ex. I was a fool for her.

Things have been bothering me recently, things have been reminding me of her—I knew it was a bad idea checking old text messages, but something inside me drove me to reading those.

[Please let’s talk. Let me explain.] received.

I didn’t even reply. Funny how messages older than that one made me miss her, Idiot Yena. You still haven’t moved on. I know myself, and I knew very well that I’m still not over with her.

“Isn’t she that one girl whom you dated for two weeks, and became in a relationship with for two years? She used to have a special place in my heart—but it’s all gone, or so I think.”

Nostalgia started to set in as I saw the first time she replied to my message. A flashback starts as my lips curves into a smile, reminiscing what happened before.

•••

“Choi Yena! Hey! You dropped your wallet!”

I was on a testing site for my university entrance examination, I didn’t even realize that my wallet fell as I walked around to find my the room assigned to me. I heard an unknown voice calling for my name, I’ve never heard it before, but it sounded really cute and attractive. I turned my back to see a girl a bit smaller than I am, she has a straight black hair, and she was wearing a red sweater and black jeans. Her shoes was one of those red high cut sneakers.

She had a very adult facial features—just my type.

Before I knew it, I was frozen in front of her.

“Here, you dropped your wallet in the gymnasium during the gathering a while ago. The receipt you’re going to present to the exam proctor is also there, right?” She was catching her breath.

I’ve never seen a woman as pretty as she was.

“Excuse me, miss?” She waved her hand an inch far from my face which melted the ice that froze me.

“A-Ah—Oh! I’m sorry for spacing out. Thanks a lot, miss!” I thanked her and when I was about to turn my back to continue walking forward, that’s where I decided. If she doesn’t go on the same path, I’ll ask her name and number. She didn’t.

“Uhm,” I paused to take a deep breath.

“What’s your name, can you give me your number?” I continued with a question. At first, her face showed signs of surprise, she even looked like she didn’t want to give her number, but then she smiled.

“Sure.” She offered her hand, asking me to get my phone out and hand it over to her. I hurriedly pulled my phone out of my bag—that she then quickly grabbed from my hands.

That woman, she had extraordinarily pretty hands. She emits two auras—it’s amazing how she can look cute while being hot at the same time.

She sticks her tongue out as she happily types her number on my phone, cute. She immediately hands it back to me with the same refreshing smile she had when she agreed to my request.

“Here you go, I’ll be taking my leave. I’m going to assist other students too, be careful not to drop your wallet again, alright?” She turns her back and runs forward to the hallways again. On her right arm was a red armband with Student Committee written on it.

I decided to take a look at my phone and I saw it.

Kwon “Pretty” Eunbi

xxx-xxxx-xxxx

“So she’s called Eunbi… Cute.”

I decided to send a short reply before heading inside the examination room. Wow, the nerve to call yourself “Pretty”. Are you on drugs? (LOL) I smiled as I sat on the chair, waiting for the examination to start.

•••

When I got home, I immediately went to my bed and checked my phone. I can’t help but think of her as I answered the questions, I was smiling even if the exam booklet was already taking my life and mental sanity away—but energy came rushing in as soon as I got her reply.

[What?! I’m legit pretty. Even prettier than the Venus of Milo.]

received 11:03pm

—[Are you busy? Can I call you?]

seen 11:06pm

[I just finished my homework, so... yeah sure. Go ahead.]

received 11:18pm

I jumped out of happiness after reading Eunbi’s latest reply. My hands were shaking hesitating if I should really call her or not—in the end, I still pressed it. As I listened to the dial tone, my heart pounds in excitement. Until I heard the sound that decides everything, my face turned red at the sound of Eunbi’s voice saying… “Good evening Yena.”

“G-Good morni—I mean evening.” I blurted out of nervousness, both my hands were shaking and my voice was sounding a bit gibberish.

I heard her giggle, “Aww, so cute.” She said.

There was a long silence until Eunbi spoke again.

“Where do you live? I’m sorry if my question would seem really creepy.”

—“No! It’s not creepy!”

Eunbi giggles.

—“W-Well… I uh… I live in Rose Residences.”

“I live there too! Which floor and unit?”

—“Really?! I’m in 15th! 310!”

“Oh my gosh, we’re from the same floor? I live in 305!”

I immediately stood up from my bed and made my way to the door. Turning the knob, and opening the door, I saw her holding her doorknob, same as I. Our units are just facing each other.

“Oh. Hi!” She greeted, we both pressed the hang button on our phones as our eyes met.

“So… wanna grab something to eat?” She invited, I nodded. At last, I’m finally going to forget about Yuri.

•••

Romance was quick to set in, in just two weeks we were already dating, now we’re nearing our first anniversary. I even sleep in her unit if I’d want to. I love her so much, she gave me a reason to live again after getting dumped by my ex. Kwon Eunbi is a really special person in my heart.

“Eunbi, look at this. Y’know Sakura? The actress, She’s getting married with that dancer, Lee Chaeyeon!” There was a weird surprised look on her face. “Eunbi? Are you alright?” I asked, she shook her head and smiled. “I’m alright Yena, let me take a look at it.” She grabbed my hand and looked at the phone.

“She really looks cute on that wedding dress.” She was smiling as she looked at Sakura’s pictures. But her smile was as if she’s in pain.

Her phone rang. “I’m sorry Yena, I have to take this call.” She stood up, I nodded and said, “Sure, go ahead.”

•••

Fast forward to that one night, the night before our anniversary. I received a call from Eunbi, and she was crying.

“Y...Yena…”

—“Yes, Eunbi? Is there something wrong? Why are you crying? Are you in your room? I’ll go there—”

“No Yena! Don’t… I’m not home…”

—“Tell me where you are and I’ll go there, okay?”

“No… please…”

—“I don’t live my girl out in the cold! It’s already nighttime, it’s not safe for you to be out at this hour!”

“Yena… I’m sorry…”

—“You’re sorry for what?! C’mon, I’m you didn’t do anything wrong. Just tell me what happened or what’s wrong and I’ll help you out. I’m your girlfriend.”

“Yena, I did something wrong… I’m sorry… I don’t deserve you...”

I knew it, something was off. How did we even last for almost a year like this?

—“What? What did you do? Eunbi tell me, I have no idea of what’s going on!”

“I… I realized I still haven’t moved on from my ex.”

My world stopped.

—“Then? I’ll help you forget about her, whoever she is. I don’t care even if it takes more years!”

I really am an idiot for saying that.

“Yena, it doesn’t work that way…”

—“I said it right?! I do everything I say! I’ll help you forget about her! I’ll be by your side like she never did! I… I won’t leave you.”

I was on the verge of tears, but I tried to sound as if I was happy and smiling. Come think of it, she never really told me a lot about her ex, and who she is. While I told her about Yuri a lot.

“Yena…”

—“Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

I dropped the call, and still on my sweater and track pants, I didn’t even bother putting on my contacts. I went out of the building to search for her. Searching for her wasn’t even a problem, Eunbi was there, on a park nearby. She was sitting by herself on a bench.

“Eunbi!” I ran towards her, I lowered a bit to look at her face. Her eyes were puffy, and her cheeks are wet with tears. She was wearing something really formal. I don’t know, I never really wanted to see her like that, I pulled her into a hug.

As she buried her face on my right shoulder, she started crying again. “Yena, I’m sorry…” she started apologizing again.

I grabbed her shoulders and looked at her eyes, “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault that you still haven’t moved on from her.” I told her. It hurts. We were nearing our first anniversary, this is what happens?

“I’m really sorry… for all these years I wasn’t really sure if I love—” I didn’t want to hear it. I don’t have to. I sealed her lips with a kiss. She tries to push me away, but I bit her lower lip to gain access to . Pulled her up from the bench with my hands on her waist. We were standing face to face when I pulled out of the kiss.

“Yena, I’m so—” I pecked her lips. “Don’t apologize, do it again and I’ll kiss you.” I rested her head on my right shoulder. “C’mon, tell me what happened. Just don’t apologize for the same thing again. It’s not your fault.” I caressed her head with my right hand.

“Sakura invited me to her wedding. She was my ex.” When Eunbi calmed down, they sat on the bench and decided to talk about what happened.

“When I saw them being so sweet… and touchy… that’s when I realized I haven’t moved on from her. That I still love her after all these years.” She explained.

Right. I sighed, I turned to face her. I pulled her close to my chest, and covered her ears. I started crying. It hurts. It really hurts! I loved her, but she didn’t. Just like with Yuri.

The clock struck twelve, I took a deep breath to wipe my tears with the sleeves of my sweater. I cupped Eunbi’s cheeks with my hands to look at her.

“Yena, are you… crying just now…?”

“No, I uhm…” I tried to smile as real as I could, “I’m just happy that we were able to last for a year. I love you Eunbi, happy anniversary. I hope we could last longer.” I closed the gap with a kiss and a hug. I really love hurting myself… huh?

•••

I covered my eyes with a used shirt from yesterday as I lay on my bed, tears came flowing out again and I had no choice but to let them come out. I hurt myself that time, I forced myself to someone who can’t love me back—am I even sure about this part? Then why didn’t I listen to her explanation that time? I’m a pure .

I continued scrolling through the messages, those messages with I love you’s mixed with doubts. I loved her, I really did. But I was doubtful whether or not it was working, if what I was doing to make her forget about her ex was working. I was doubting if those were genuine I love you’s.

I continued reading through those messages.

•••

It was a sunday, we weren’t together since I have to work at my father’s café part-time, while she has to run some errands for her organization.

“Yujin! Chaewon and I will be going out to buy eggs, flour, and to throw the garbage away. Can you watch the counter for me?” I called my co-worker who then stood on the counter. “Yeah, take your time Yena.” She smiled before I slid the door close.

“So Yena, how’s your relationship with Eunbi?” Chaewon asks, she’s on the same school organization with Eunbi.

“We’re doing good. Why do you ask?”

“Did she tell you that she has something to do for our org so she’s going out today?” She asked again.

“Yeah, she told me something like that.” I raised a brow.

“I saw her by the station this morning, she looks like she’s waiting for someone. I don’t remember Kang-sunbae giving her something to do.”

“Eh… really? I’ll ask her later when I get home.”

But in reality, once we got back to the café, I immediately left.

I tried searching for her until the night came. I didn’t even bother to eat lunch or to even drink water. I was trying to catch my breath, walking around the sidewalks I’ve passed several times today.

I stopped when I passed by a dimly-lit park, the same park where she told me the truth eleven months ago.

She was standing there, with Miyawaki Sakura, one of my seniors in university. They were smiling at each other, wow they look so happy. I was catching my breath as I watched them, I searched for Eunbi almost the whole day and I see her like this, she’s happy. Treasure this moment Yena, you never saw her smile like that when she’s with you.

“I'm happy that we finally got to do it.”

“Yeah, I'll finally be able to smile freely again.”

They took a step closer to each other, they hug.

“Take care…”

•••

—“Good evening Eunbi. How’s the thing you did today?”

“It’s all good. I got to seal the deal.”

—“Is that so? As expected of Eunbi. Are you in your room? Can I drop by? I bought something and I’m sure I can’t finish it by myself.”

“Sure thing. You know the passcode right?”

—“Yeah, I’m outside your room. Uhm, can you open the door for me? My hands are full.”

“Okay! Wait a second.”

The door opens, there was Eunbi on her yellow sweater and black cycling shorts, her phone on her left ear, and her right hand opening the door. I dropped the call and greeted her with a smile. “Good evening, Eunbi.” I put my phone on my hood’s pocket and entered the unit.

W