Getting Caught

            When I woke up, I was completely disoriented still, but I knew that I felt incredible.  I just didn’t know why.  My memories from the night before hadn’t caught up to me yet.  But then I felt a slender arm wrap around me and my eyes blinked open.  And there she was, lying in my bed and wrapped up in my arms.

            Ryeosuni was still asleep, sharing a pillow with me.  Her face was so close to mine, our noses were nearly touching.  I lifted my hand up to cup her face and let my fingers trace over her cheeks and jaw.  I’d never touched her like this before.  She didn’t belong to me.  I shouldn’t be.  But I found that I lacked willpower that early in the morning.  She’d washed off all her makeup from the night before and she was sleeping in my baggy clothes.  Her hair was messy from tossing and turning all night.  She’d never looked more beautiful to me than she did in that very moment.  I was completely disarmed by it. 

            I was never going to tell Ryeosuni that I was gay.  It was Yesung’s mistake to tell her something like that because I was no longer sure if it was true.  For my entire life up to that moment, I had never been attracted to a woman before.  I had to admit that it was possible that things had changed.  And Yesung had led Ryeosuni to believe she was safe with me.  She wasn’t.

            I leaned forward and brushed my lips against hers.  I felt her sigh against my lips and I grinned, wondering what she might be dreaming of.  But then her arm tightened around me and her lips pressed back against mine.  I closed my eyes and kissed her back more firmly. 

            Suddenly, she pulled away and her eyes flew open.  She stared at me a long while, taking deep breaths, but her hands tightly grasped the back of my shirt.  I could tell she was confused.  Perhaps she wasn’t sure if she was even awake or if she was dreaming. 

            I figured I ought to clarify things for her.  “You’re awake.”

            She still looked confused and I felt that I should probably explain more but opted against using words.  Instead, I moved closer, giving her plenty of time to pull away if she wanted to.  This time, I kissed her softly, pressing my lips against hers, until she angled her head and moaned into the kiss.  My hand moved to the back of her head and I held her firmly then, kissing her harder.  Her hands fisted the back of my shirt.  I had wanted to touch her like this for so long.  My only hesitation had been not knowing how she would react.  Now that it was apparent that she also had an interest in me as well, I wasn’t sure if I could stop myself anymore.

            I shifted closer to her.  We were lying right next to each other and she still felt too far away.  I needed to press her body against mine.  And as I began to lean in, letting my hand run down her back and then wrapping it around her so I could pull her against me fully, Ryeosuni suddenly pushed away from me.

            She took frantic breaths.  “You shouldn’t be kissing me,” she said, her eyes watery.

            Her palm was still resting against my chest, as she had only pushed away a little, and I reached up to lightly grasp her hand.  After sleeping with her in my arms all night, I could not stand the idea of not touching her anymore.  “I know I shouldn’t be, but I need to,” I told her.  “Do you want me to stop?”

            “I’m dating your roommate.”

            “That isn’t an answer,” I reminded her.

            A tear fell down her cheek and she sniffled.  “Kyu…”

            “If you don’t tell me no, I’m not going to stop, Ryeosuni,” I warned her, moving in again and tentatively pecking her lips. 

            “I thought you were gay,” she said.

            I knew I would have to address that at some point.  “I honestly thought I was as well, but you’re clearly my exception.  I can’t get you out of my head.”

            “It doesn’t matter to you that I’m a woman?” she questioned.

            I thought about my wording very carefully before answering Ryeosuni.  “It doesn’t matter to me which gender you are.  I’m in love with you for who you are.”

            She gasped.  More tears ran down her face and I reached up to wipe them away.  “Kyu, there’s something I need to tell you.”

            I moved closer again and brushed my lips against hers.  “What is it?”

            “I’m not—”

            There was a sudden knock at the door and then a woman’s voice calling out, “Kyuhyunnie!”  I froze at the sound of it. This was the worst possible timing for something like this to happen.  The worst!

            “!” I cursed.

            “Who’s that?” Ryeosuni whispered, looking startled.

            “My mother!”

            Ryeosuni’s face went pale as she sat up in bed.  “What?  This isn’t good!”

            “No, it isn’t,” I agreed, tossing the covers off of us.