note: it was supposed to be a oneshot but i guess it’s going to be longer than i intended it to be so....here’s the first part.

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It started way back in Junior High. She had always been that campus queen ka who trudges the extra mile to be exceptional while I remain as the (most of the time) invisible student council president who they only know as strict and a wholeass spoilsport—apparently, my poor and tough life situation had to force the strictly no-fun policy in all applicable aspects, my leadership not being an exception to the unwritten rule.

I’m sure she hated me for that. I can see by the way her circle of friends would always try to rub it off in my face everytime I hand them out violation slips. You see, we live in this world separated by one ginormous wall that I couldn’t even begin to break. The occasional campus encounters allowed me to speak to her in short moments I didn’t hope to last—the consequences will all end up boiling down on me later on, I know what chances I hold; and it’s little to nothing. The way she would dart her gaze away everytime I let her eyes meet mine says everything that I need to know. It’s really not that hard to figure out. 

It’s as if I’m hoping for that one snowball to make it out from hell without melting. It’s as simple and complicated as that. God knew how much I wanted to make the remaining years of my high school to be less dramatic than my already ultra dramatic life at home. And I knew staying away from her is the number one step to that.

Now how do you ing do that, Kim Jisoo?

I started feeling like whenever gut feelings come to me in merciless assaults—it’s because I never won from them. Let’s say I owe them most of my biggest feats if not all, I admit to that. But this one hell of a situation doesn’t and will never have a goddamn winning path. Apparently, convincing myself had to come countless times before it fortunately worked.

Or so I thought.

It was Junior and High School Prom and all I’m thankful for at that is we’re nearing to the end of the school year. Thank ing God. No more Jennie Kim for the rest of my life.

Usually, the presence of the invisible—ironic—goody-two-shoes like me isn’t much needed during these kind of social gatherings. Lord knows I never deem myself worthy of attending such occasions, grand balls specifically, where I have to wear enormous and shiny ball gowns and at least five inches stilettos to blend in, or else look like a freaking donkey in a world full of unicorns. But the Almighty Lord Jesus Christ also knows what needs to happen, will happen.

That means, you and your unwritten rules, Kim Jisoo, you’re bending the out of them tonight and attending that Prom that comes only every after two years in our school, fortunately for me.

I did grace them with my superhuman invisibility power that night. And how I wish I didn’t.

Unfortunately, coming in a glimmering black dress and flat close shoes isn’t celebrating the beauty and grace of the night but actually killing it—as what the majority of students says. This is the best I allow myself to do and if they’re letting one insignificant underdressed person that is me ruin their night, then they’re just nothing but stupid birdbrains who couldn’t set their minds into something positive and beautiful for the entire night—that has to be her for me.

Oh me sideways.

She’s like this whole well put up constellation that you can only look at and admire from afar but do nothing about. Not because she makes no use at all, but the other way around, because she can do them all on her own, for her own.

That’s the kind of beauty I see through her as I watched her trudge ever so elegantly across the hall, clad in a majestic red gown that hugged her curvaceous body in all the right ways, her hair neatly falling down her exposed shoulders in big curls, the whole ensemble being held up by that little tiara on her head that fits so perfectly.

ing magical.

A regal looking Jennie from at least 20 meters away had swished swooshed all the courage I mustered to back off. And without a wand at that.

Really ing magical in all the right sense.

Fate is against me. I knew that since first year of high school when the ever loving God sent Jennie here to this school as a transferee—and I knew that when she effortlessly started sweeping me off my feet not long after.

Jennie made my high school experience a whole world of angst and self-questioning. But I didn’t complain, cause somewhere in that middle there’s fun in that. Sure I can count on my two hands the number of times I’ve talked to her—as well as the number of times she willingly did, which is expectedly lesser.

I drowned the lump in my throat with a chug of whatever beverage I had at my disposal. No, you’re not going to do what you’re about to do. No you’re not going to the last period of your junior high school up by trying to get the unreachable queen bee to dance with you.

No.

The music switched to a mellow one, as if the universe is cueing me to go out there already and myself over.

I did.

This is the last time I’m wearing my heart out on my sleeves.

That’s what I kept repeating over and over as the rest of the student council watched me make a beeline towards the table nobody outside that circle would even dare sharing with. A clique of high class people nobody could even begin to like—well, except perhaps for Jennie cause I love that girl for all the right and wrong reasons that I don’t mind looking like a total creep holding out a hand and asking her for a dance.

I didn’t mind the gasps and murmurs. I don’t even know if the crowd is watching us or if they’re even paying attention. That’s the least of my worries at the moment. A brief period of time is all I ask between me and her, exclusively.

Whether she accepts or rejects, this is the last time I’m pouring all the love I had for her in all the years of just admiring her from afar. I took my time, and then I’ll gladly let go.

Sometimes love is just as simple as that. You can’t expect all the love you give to be reciprocated, let alone, acknowledged.

The moment the tip of her fingers brushed against mine is also the exact moment I felt the heat that had been coiling up inside me burst into flames. And I let out a breath that I didn’t know I’ve been holding for a while now—a moment of dreadful suspense.

Jennie had always been the nice, sweet little lady that contradicts her tough facade. Maybe it’s one of the reasons that pushed me through—knowing she wouldn’t deny me of this little moment that I’m sure she’s starting to ponder over.

But she didn’t ask. That was expected of her. Though I wish she did cause I lack the ability to initiate the conversation about the entirety of this.

Jennie just gave me what I asked for and that’s just that; no more, no less—a silly prom dance.