A dark cloud appears on my face as I hear the words I fear most being spoken. “You say that meeting you is inevitable and fate has tied us together, that this is no mere random meeting. I want you to know that whatever binds us shall eventually be broken by my strength. I will stop this accursed fate even if in the end I shall be met by Death. I will view it as a kind friend as opposed to this now. Why can’t you leave me alone? I will show you as much distress and sorrow as you have done to me,” he screeches and leaves abruptly.

Tears slowly start to run down my cheeks. I take off my red glasses to wipe off my face and look up at the sky. I feel so alone, I just want to scream. He is right about one thing, this is an accursed fate. Raindrops start to land on my face as if sharing my pain. I slowly start to walk and as I exit through the park gate, I see a car that’s very familiar to me. Next to the car is a man that I know all too well, looking cold and disconnected from the world. He holds an unusual umbrella. One with a crimson colored base and the phases of the moon on it. He spins it around so quickly that the raindrops look as if they are dancing. However, that stops as soon as I try to pass by him. He grabs my wrist and stops me. Sadness starts to well up inside me as I snap my head back and stare at him. He looks right back at me, unfazed by my teary eyes.

“I did what you wanted, over and over, but this was the last one. You don’t need me anymore so let me go... Just let me go please!”

I start to cry again. As soon as I do, he bends downs and whispers, “Nevertheless.” Surprisingly, he stretches out his hand towards me. I shouldn’t take his hand, the hand that ruined me, but as if someone else is controlling me, I grab it. His hand feels cold and it feels as if I am grabbing porcelain. Completely mesmerized by his hand, I did not realize that I had been lead into the car and am now sitting next to him. Still holding his hand, I look up to see a smiling face and like a deer in headlights I freeze. My face begins to turn so red I feel as if I am a tomato by now. He lifts my hand, starts to intertwine our fingers, and it feels so much warmer than before. With his other hand, he lightly brushes his fingers on mine and starts to reach higher. He gets up to my shoulder but hesitates as if he can’t, or rather isn’t allowed, to go any further. He grimaces and retreats both his hands back to his sides. I lift the hand that was just being held and feel a sense of loneliness well up inside me. As I continue to stare at my hand, I feel a slight chill. Something keeps telling me not to look at him, but I do anyway. A menacing smile greets me, the air arounds us grows cold. He opens the car door as well as the crimson umbrella but this time he doesn’t extend a hand. I open the other door and he furrows his eyebrows.

There is a sea-like green that spreads out further than the eye can see. For all this fauna and mountains, there was hardly any noise. It is eerily quiet, even with the rain, it seems as though no other lifeforms are here besides him and I. He quickly pulls me under his umbrella as if they rain is acid. The doors to what looks to be a temple of some kind, open. I notice the guards of the temple are silent and frozen as if they are petrified into place. We walk into a room that just has a table, two pillows, and a few other things that I can’t focus on. The wall is a real distraction for me. The main color is crimson with a painting of smoke forming around it as if it is engulfing the two animals inside; a raven and a butterfly, such an unusual coupling. Above that are the phases of the moon. It is such a stunning piece, it looks so real, but I don’t understand what one has to do with the other.

As I am observing the painting, he sits down at the table and starts to make tea. He is so graceful and delicate with the turquoise teacup. I know that he won’t overly whisk it. He uses one hand to pour the tea and the other to turn the cup. He puts the cup down and pushes the other somewhat plain cup, considering everything else, to me, the only other plain object in the room. He turns his hand, palm facing upward and fingers pointing to the glass. He now possesses a sad, forlorn expression on his face. “Drink this, please, so that you may be safe and that you will not remember any of this. I just want to tell you this one thing. Well, many things, but I only have time for one. This place is safe but it won’t be for long,” he says hesitantly. I am confused, this man has done so many things to me and made me do so much that I deeply regret, but he wants me to be safe? I am not safe with him, I was safe before him. As I am about to scream, I look at his face. This is the first time I have seen Kim Jonghyun crying. He starts to beg, “PLEASE DRINK,” and gestures to the cup once more. I want to yell and scream, but I’m stuck because this is a side I have never seen. I still have no idea where I am, there are guards everywhere. I don’t like it but I have no choice to drink it, or so it seems. I pretend to drink the contents of the cup and try to regain my composure. I pretend to sneeze and grab a napkin on the table. I slowly ball up the napkin and keep it in my lap. Jonghyun’s gaze is still on me, unwavering, and he begins to chuckle a bit.

“Do you think people always stay the same? Do their motives? People are a lot like the phases of the moon. During each phase, something changes within that person, whether it be outwardly or innerly. With each new phase, something will be different, even if you go through what appears to be the same phase. You will be different because there will be events, glorious moments, or horrific, fearful moments that will happen to you. Just like how meteors crash on the moon and new craters are formed, something of you will be lost but something new will be added. You will continue to go through those phases. Yes, just like the moon, this is the fate people are condemned to. They have it easy, however, you and I have a different burden,” he pauses midway through his sentence. He looks up as if he could see beyond. He quickly grabs me closer and uses one of his hands to touch my face. “I want so much more time with you, but it seems our time is up. I know you hate me, I made it so because it would be best if you did. I love you so much,” he utters. He uses his hand and pulls my face to his and begins to kiss me. His tongue is warm and I feel my body yearning for him? His kiss goes deeper and deeper and then I feel myself swallow something. “I knew you wouldn’t drink the tea. Trust me, this is best for you. You shouldn’t have to remember any of this, me included.” He cries. I almost instantly feel the effects of the drug. I want to ask him so many things.

“Ah, but why?!” I shout and move away from him. I’m unable to stand and I slowly lose control to function my limbs. I start to cry and my vision gets even more blurry. I use my whole strength to shout, “I hate you! I swear I will get you. This is not the kind of love I need!” He comes to me and puts my head in his lap. He combs my hair with his fingers. I start to fade out of consciousness. I’m frightened because I don’t want to end life like this. It hurts way too much. There is nothing memorable about it.

“Nevertheless,” he states calmly. I can’t fight it anymore so I let go of my consciousness and fade.