A/N: Happy Seulrene day everyone. This month’s oneshot is based on Irene giving Seulgi rules of what she can and can’t do while filming secret unnie. This is taking place before the show and I’m not writing about any annoying Seulgi and Sunmi moments so please don’t ask or complain about that. This is seulrene and that’s all I know, okay enjoy!

 

The air around the dorm was tense and full of dread. It was the kind of air that spoke of bad things to come. It was the calm before the storm in a manner of speaking. Three people in particular are quite familiar with this storm and knew this all too well. Sooyoung, Yeri, and Seungwan could only stare in fear as their leader quietly read the news article about Seulgi. This wasn’t any normal article, however. The article was discussing about Seulgi starring in Secret Unnie, with the queen of the gays herself, Sunmi.

 

Joohyun might appear to be calm, cool, and collected on the outside, but the all knew much better. It was only a matter of time before Joohyun erupted and unleashed a storm. There would be hell to pay, and someone would answer for what’s been done.

 

“Oh my god, oh my god!” Sooyoung is internally panicked. She can feel how angry Joohyun is. The only other thing she can think of is how Seulgi will be in for it.

 

“Poor, Seulgi-unnie. She’s so young and innocent.”

 

Yeri as well is running her fingers through her dark locks, all the while thinking of the same thing. “Seulgi-unnie, is going to hear it.” She sighs.

 

“Um, unnie. Are you okay?” Seungwan wonders. It causes both Yeri and Sooyoung to look at the blonde like she’s crazy. Why would she bother to ask that kind of question?

 

“Idiot! Don’t ask if she’s okay? You know very well she’s not okay.”

 

The raven-haired leader finishes reading and turns with a warm, but fake smile that is further scares everyone.

 

“Guys, I’m fine, really. I trust my girlfriend.”

 

“What?” The three blink and share concerned looks. They’re not only worried but even more scared. Joohyun looks so calm, and that can’t be good.

 

“You’re lying!” The taller member shouts. Sooyoung knows better that Joohyun isn’t actual okay with any of this. She knows she was also pissed when Yeri was casted for the show too. Sooyoung didn’t have anything to worry about. Yeri just got paired with a nice older woman who treated her like a sister. Seulgi on the other hand is being paired with the queen gay Sunmi, and a lot of fans will eat that up.

 

“I’m completely fine. Now I’m going to my room, tell Seulgi to come straight there when she gets back.”

 

“Why so you can kill her in private?” Yeri wonders.

 

“No, unnie!” Seungwan begs. “It’s not Seul’s fault. You don’t have to kill her.”

 

“Just send her to me. I have things to prepare.”

 

The remaining members look on in horror as Joohyun quietly leaves the living room. They’re so sure that Seulgi is going to die, that they all send her texts to not come home. Joy is typing away like a crazy person.

 

“Unnie! Don’t come home, whatever you do. It’s better you don’t come back, at least not for awhile.”

 

Yeri is typing something similar to the bear-like girl. “Unnie, if you want to live. You’d better not come back here, move somewhere safe, like another country even.”

 

Seungwan sends Seulgi something a bit more calm, but still warns her. “Seul, you’re not safe here, Joohyun-unnie is not happy, and you know what that means.”

 

The three sigh as they complete their texts. All they can hope is that Seulgi sees, and takes their warnings seriously. Joohyun has gone into her room and they know hell will be unleashed at some point. Seulgi unfortunately doesn’t see the texts and comes home with a smile.

 

“No!” Sooyoung tries to push her out into the hall.

 

“What’s wrong with you, Sooyoung?”

 

“Hurry, there’s still time to save you.” Yeri as well has joined in the pushing of the brunette. Of course, Seulgi didn’t see their messages and now they still have to try and save her. Seulgi is just confused as to what’s happening. This seems a bit extreme, even for the two of them.

 

“Seul, didn’t you get our messages?” The blonde wonders. “We’re trying to save you here.”

 

“Save me?”

 

“Yes, from…”

 

Everyone is silenced when they can hear footsteps coming in the distance. It’s already too late Joohyun is on the way. The storm is coming, and no one has appropriate shelter.

 

“Is Seulgi home?” They all hear Joohyun ask. Seulgi tries to open to say she’s home. The taller member quickly covers .

 

“No, unnie. Your wife isn’t home.” Yeri uses the term wife as she hopes it will calm Joohyun down some. Sooyoung is halfway pushing the brunette out the door, but the leader has made it to the living room.

 

“Hi, honey!” She smiles. “You’re finally home.”

 

Sure everyone hears the sickeningly sweet tone of voice coming from the raven. That doesn’t mean any of them trust it. Even Seulgi has appeared to understand the nature of the situation, and looks incredibly nervous.

 

“I should get going, Hyunnie. I’ll see you…”

 

Joohyun pushes her way to the taller girl, and links arms with her. “Nonsense, Seulgi-yah. You just got home and I’ve missed you. Can I get you something to eat or drink?”

 

“No, please resist, Seulgi-unnie.” Sooyoung tells her. “It’s probably going to be poisoned and you will die!”

 

“Never mind, just come with me.”

 

“Mom, don’t hurt mommy!” Yeri pretends to sob, but she does hope Joohyun doesn’t kill Seulgi. It’s hardly her fault she’s going to be on secret unnie next.

 

“Seul, scream the safe word if you need help.” The blonde tells her. Seulgi barely has time to ask about this alleged safe word. The next thing she knows she’s being dragged into Joohyun’s bedroom. She normally wouldn’t be scared of this. However, when she hears Joohyun has locked the door.

 

“Uh, Hyunnie.”

 

A pale finger reaches out into the dark to silence her lips. This is starting to feel more like a horror film, Seulgi is just wondering where is the part when she dies.

 

“You know why you’re here, right?”

 

“Yes, but can we at least put the lights on? This is kind of creeping me out.”

 

“Oh, sorry, Seul.” Joohyun apologizes and does turn the lights on. She is honestly very upset that Seulgi is casted for that show. There’s no way it won’t be gay in content because for one it’s an all female team, which is also an amazing thing, but she knows the gay content will be through the roof. It’s making her angry to think about.

 

“Hyun?”

 

“You’ve been casted for secret unnie.” The raven says knowingly. Seulgi sighs, as she wanted to tell Joohyun this first. She didn’t want for her girlfriend to find out before she had the chance to tell her. The bear-like girl knows how her girlfriend can be. She does get jealous about situations like this.

 

“I know, I didn’t know they would cast me after they really just had Yeri on the show.”

 

In reality, Joohyun was also a little surprised to about this news. Only when she thinks more about it, why wouldn’t a show like that cast another member of their group. Why wouldn’t they cast Seulgi? She is so well loved and a dream casting.

 

“They just had to pair you with Sunmi. Seul, she is the queen of the gays.”

 

Seulgi tries not to laugh at how ridiculous the raven sounds, although Joohyun isn’t wrong about Sunmi being the Queen of the gays. She stops laughing immediately when the older girl is looking at her with raised eyebrow.

 

“I’m sorry, Hyunnie.”

 

“Of all the unnies, they pair you up with her! I’m not happy about this, Seul.”

 

Oh does she know Joohyun isn’t happy. Seulgi tries to wrap her arms around her in a comforting embrace, but it’s rejected.

 

“Hyunnie,” Seulgi tries being cute and pokes her stomach. It doesn’t work and Joohyun pushes her away.

 

“Oh, come on Hyunnie. You know you’re the only one for me, right?”

 

“Oh, I had better be!” The raven thinks to herself angrily. She knows Seulgi loves her, as that has never been in question. It’s always been other bold women who think they can make moves on her bear. Joohyun hates getting jealous like this, but at the same time she really can’t help it. Seulgi finally succeeds in wrapping her arms around her waist. Joohyun sighs and leans back against her other half. She also promises she is fine, but she’s most certainly not fine. It was foolish of Seulgi to even think it was.

 

The following morning Seulgi couldn’t even get out of bed. Joohyun has a huge list in front of her, and the monolid woman wonders what the hell is going on.

 

“Hyunnie?”

 

“While you were sleeping I composed a list of what you are allowed to do, and things you’re not allowed to do.”

 

“This is a long list.” Seulgi gestures to the huge list that is damn near to the bottom of the floor. She can’t imagine the kind of work and time that probably went into the creation of such a list. Seulgi knew her girlfriend would be jealous. She just didn’t think it would be to the point of this.

 

“Well I have to protect what’s mine.” The older girl says.

 

“Hyun, is this really all necessary?”

 

“It’s completely necessary, remember it’s not you I don’t trust. It’s all these thirsty women that think they can just come onto you. Now number 1, you must not under any circumstances touch Sunmi.”

 

Seulgi thinks it’s a bit much to say she can’t touch Sunmi. There is bound to be some sort of interactions, as what’s the point if there’s no interactions.

 

“Um…”

 

“Are you questioning my rule?”

 

“Oh, uh…” Seulgi pauses, and runs her fingers through her hair. She doesn’t dare question Joohyun, girlfriend or not.

 

“Well?” The raven raises an eyebrow to her. Seulgi smiles charmingly and hopes it will appeal to Joohyun’s soft side.

 

“It’s just going to be difficult to not touch her at all. I’m sure we’ll be interacting, just like Yerimie did with Chaeyoung-unnie.”

 

Joohyun frowns. Those are not words she wants to hear. It’s bad enough that show has taken her daughter. She will damn sure not lose her wife too, or someone’s going to pay.

 

“Okay, fine, but keep the touching to a strictly professional basis. Also, don’t you touch her first. I’ll find out if you did.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am!” Seulgi salutes. Joohyun sighs, and gets onto the second rule.

 

“Rule 2, feel free to casually mention me at any chance you get.”

 

“Why?” The monolid girl wonders. Joohyun uses the time to hit her upside the head, anytime Seulgi says something idiotic she will be hit, or punished through some other means.

 

“Ow!”

 

“Do you want to ask me that question again?”

 

Seulgi really doesn’t, as she really would rather not be hit again. She smiles and nods that she won’t question her girlfriend again.

 

“Rule 3, this is super important okay, Seul.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am!”

 

“I know you’re going to have to share a b-bed…” the leader stutters out uncomfortably. The very idea of Seulgi sharing a sleeping space with another woman is upsetting. When it’s one of their friends that’s a different story. Joohyun can’t bare to think of Sunmi sleeping next to her bear.

 

“Hyun, everything’s going to be okay.”

 

“Yes, it will be, as long as you make sure there’s enough distance between you two. I mean it Seul, don’t sleep but so close to her.”

 

“I won’t, I promise.”

 

“I really mean it. You need to act like there’s a wall between you both.”

 

Seulgi nods and mentally reminds herself to keep a healthy distance between herself and Sunmi. The last thing she wants to do is make Joohyun angry when there’s no need. It’s why Seulgi tries again to appeal to her girlfriend. The brunette gently takes a hold of her hand and gives it a squeeze.

 

“Hey, Hyunnie. You know you’re the only one I want to be sleeping next to, right?”

 

The soft way Seulgi says this to her, and the way she is caressing her knuckles makes Joohyun internally swoon. She tries her best to not get too lost in the charm that is Kang Seulgi, and reminds herself that this charming thing of Seulgi is what makes all these women fall for her.

 

“Quit that, when you do stuff like that it makes all these women fall even harder for you!”

 

“All what stuff?”

 

It’s another endearing quality about her girlfriend. Seulgi isn’t some player type girl, who is purposely trying to make women go crazy. She does know what the fans want, like any good idol does. At the same time her bear-like girl isn’t out here intentionally trying to hurt or flirt with people. Joohyun knows how weak girls get over Seulgi, and her sometimes unconscious sort of charm she’s not aware of. Joohyun herself can get pretty weak for Seulgi too, although she wouldn’t just admit such a thing so easily.

 

“Never mind, now onto rule 4…”

 

Seulgi begins to zone out as Joohyun continues on with the major important rules on her list. The brunette just looks so attentive as her other half continues to talk. In reality she has stopped listening sometime time after the the 10th rule.

 

“Did you get all that sweetie?” Joohyun says it so sickeningly sweet that there’s no way it’s sincere. Seulgi stands up and hugs her shorter girlfriend then. She might as well try to make Joohyun calmer. That’s why she leans down to gently kiss her fully on the lips. The smaller raven doesn’t hesitate to return the kiss. She leans up and wraps her arms around Seulgi’s shoulders. The kissing is nice and almost fully distracts her from what she was originally saying, almost but not entirely.

 

“Babe,” Joohyun stops the kiss soon. She has to make sure Seulgi fully understands.

 

“Listen, there will be serious consequences if you don’t follow the rules.”

 

“Hyun, I’ll follow the rules.”

 

“Good, I still don’t want you to go, but I understand.”

 

Joohyun is trying to be a good sport here. She knows that there are schedules that the group will have as individuals, some they don’t have much choice on, but it will benefit the group as a whole. It doesn’t mean Joohyun has to like it, but as her girlfriend she will still support Seulgi. The taller girl wraps her arms around her tightly.

 

“Don’t be upset, you know you’re the only unnie I actually love, right?”

 

The soft way Seulgi tells her this makes the raven smile. She knows Seulgi really loves her, but it never feels old to hear this. She could listen to the monolid girl tell her she loves her all day long. It would never be tiring to hear.

 

“I love you too, oh wait. I have a few more things before you have to go.”

 

“No, not more rules, Hyunnie. I promised I’ll be good already.”

 

“No, it’s not that. I’ll show you.”

 

Seulgi waits patiently for her girlfriend to return, and when she does it’s to hand over a specific piece of clothing that is quite familiar indeed. It’s none other than Joohyun’s pajama set from the Bad Boy music video. Seulgi is wondering why Joohyun is handing it over to her when the question is answered soon enough.

 

“Wear this when you go there.”

 

“Um?” The brunette blinks a few times. “You want me to wear this?”

 

“Yes, because it will show right away that you’re mine.

 

Seulgi nods as that makes sense. She thinks it’s going to stop at the pajamas. The next thing Seulgi knows is Joohyun is suddenly dragging out her luggage. The same expensive luggage that the raven had bought for her before.

 

“You don’t want me to wear that too, do you?” Seulgi jokes to make light off the tense atmosphere. Joohyun is frowning at her with disapproval.

 

“No, but I bought this luggage for you. In this way I’m with you, get it?”

 

“Yeah, but don’t you think it’s a little much?”

 

“A little much?” Joohyun repeats. For the older girl this is not enough. She could think of way more things. Joohyun feels like she’s doing a very good job at being calm. Seulgi just smiles in hopes her girlfriend won’t hit her. It’s no wonder she hasn’t suffered any sort of brain damage from all the hits she has received.

 

“I’m sorry,” Seulgi apologizes. “I’ll bring the suitcase.”

 

“Good girl.” Her girlfriend beams.

 

Seulgi knows it’s best to just do whatever Joohyun wants. She’ll wear the pajamas, carry the luggage, and she will even casually mention Joohyun as much as she can, or when the opportunity arises. The brunette just hopes it makes Joohyun feel more secure.

 

“Okay, so I have the luggage, pajamas, your list. Is there anything else you…”

 

The monolid girl is cut off by a sudden kiss. It’s better than being potentially hit, and so she gladly kisses her back. Joohyun will hate it when Seulgi goes to film the show. She’s going to miss her so much. Who’s she going to cuddle up with late at night? Who is she going to kiss and makeout with if her other half isn’t with her? Joohyun feels sad just thinking about it, so that’s why she puts those thoughts out of her head.

 

“Hey, I love you, and have fun.”

 

“I will.”

 

“Not too much fun though. I just want you to have the professional, scripted type of fun. I don’t need you falling in love with her or anything.”

 

“Hey, that’s not going to happen. This,” Seulgi places Joohyun’s hand over her heart, “belongs only to you, Bae Joohyun.”

 

Once again, Joohyun tries her absolute best to not swoon. She looks calm on the outside, but in truth she is most certainly swooning. This is her sweet, loving, cheesy bear.

 

“You’re so cheesy!” She mock complains, yet promises that her heart is also only hers too. Seulgi quietly says she knows, and that even though she’s going on this show. She will still be thinking about being back with her as soon as she can. The sound of loud knocking at the bedroom door startles the raven in particular. Joohyun almost jumps out of her skin and into Seulgi’s arms.

 

“Oh my god! Joohyun-unnie, did you kill Seulgi-unnie in there?” Joy asks. “Seulgi-unnie bang on the wall three times if you need an ambulance.”

 

“This kid.” Joohyun mentally facepalms.

 

“Mom, I told you not to kill mommy. Do I need to put out an advertisement for a new mommy.” Yeri questions in a non-serious tone of voice.

 

“No! I only have one wife!” The leader loses her composure for a second. She doesn’t miss the loud cackling from both Joy and Yeri on the other side of her door. She also doesn’t miss Seungwan apologizing for the younger two, and trying to get Joy and Yeri to give the couple some space. Seulgi simply hugs her in order to help the raven calm down.

 

“They’re just playing, Hyun.”

 

“I don’t care. I’m this close to being done with both of them.” She sighs, and then reaches for Seulgi’s free hand.

 

“Do you feel better now?” The taller girl wonders and kisses the top of her head.

 

“Yes, but we’re going out for breakfast. I’m suddenly stressed and not for dealing with those kids right now.”

 

“Sure, I’ll treat.” Seulgi offers as a way to also make her feel better about the whole secret unnie thing.

 

“Okay, remember though, don’t break the rules!”

 

“I won’t, I’ll follow all 200.”

 

“Hey!” The raven smacks her in the arm. “It wasn’t that many.”

 

“Um, have you seen your list?”

 

Joohyun looks again to be certain, and although it’s not exactly 200 lines on that paper. It’s also a lot of numbers on the list too.

 

“Okay, fair point.”

 

“Don’t worry, you’re the only unnie for me, cross my heart.”

 

“Good, because if I ever catch you with some woman who isn’t me, there will be hell to pay somehow.”

 

“Yes, Hyunnie, I know. Now, come on you crazy bunny. Let’s go and get breakfast.”

 

Now that sounds like an actual plan. Joohyun thinks she can trust her rules to be followed, as Seulgi knows what’s good for her if it’s not.

 

A/N: I apologize for this lacking oneshot. I don’t have the time or energy to really do a good one. But I guess it’s okay, happy seulrene day!