They were best friends, at least that's what Minseok thought. It didn't happen all at once, it came slowly and painfully like small waves of pain before the giant crash of realization and despair. Seeing the first and the only person that he ever fully opened up to fade out of his life…he wondered if there was anything that he could have done to stop it. When he first realized that his friend was drifting from his side he acted desperately he wouldn't message Baekhyun for a day. They talked every day so that must be a sign that something is happening on his side right? He was always the one messaging him first so he would like to see Baekhyun message him first and when he did get the message it made him so happy, he was still there in his friend's thoughts. But it happened again and once again Minseok tried doing the same thing but he never received a message back. It hurt. It hurts.

Looking at his phone every few seconds wanting to see if there's anything that Baekhyun posted. He knows this his friend is hanging out with a new group that he recently met and he did invite Minseok to meet them too but Minseok couldn't keep up with the conversation they were talking about things that only Baekhyun and they knew about. His friend still invited him to every chat that he joined and he tried so hard to fit in with the group of new people but he couldn't.

The messages between them decreased overtime and the days without interaction would turn into weeks and then finally into months.

Minseok woke up one night suddenly aware of how little he talked with the person he still considers his best friend, even if they never met in real life and all the memories they shared came rushing back to him and soon the first drop fell. Should he blame his pride for not reaching out to his friend enough? Why can't Baekhyun just message him first? Minseok used to start and end his day with Baekhyun, those days where it would just be them talking about every detail of their lives, how they would make jokes and even the ships people would make when they saw them interact…he misses those days so much. The memories were so overwhelming that Minseok had to do something. He had to let go. He didn't want to hurt anymore, he was selfish and prideful but most of all he hates how he knows that relationships don't last forever and that this one that lasted almost 4 years has come to an end. If Baekhyun wants to talk to him then he knows where to contact him. In order to properly put an end to all of this, to get some closure Minseok grabbed his phone and went to the notes section, taking a deep breath he poured out all his feelings. He typed out their beginning, the things he did when he got desperate which included giving a unique nickname to their friendship one that is not easily thought of and whispering the name as he typed it out a small smile spread across his face because this is something that will only belong to Baekhyun, to them. He typed it all out and by the end of it, he felt an invisible weight lift off his shoulders and he went back to sleep.

There did come a time when Baekhyun came back only to say that he is starting to fall in love with Jongdae, one of the only people that Minseok actually talks to from the group that Baekhyun introduced him to and one that he started having feelings for as well. His feelings weren't there yet when Baekhyun first told him and instead he cheered on Baekhyun but as time passed and Jongdae kept messaging him, kept making him smile and feel special he started to realize that this is not good. He wanted to run something that Jongdae noticed and pointed out and so with his tail in between his legs he came back, they're conversations were light but they did argue once and it was the first time Minseok was ever in an argument with a friend and once it was settled he felt closer to Jongdae and during one of their late-night conversations Jongdae talked about how low he was feeling and Minseok not wanting to see his friend sad and wanting to talk about how amazing he is admitted to liking him. Once he realized what he just sent Minseok quickly tried to change the focus but it was too late, Jongdae said what Minseok thought he was going to, the small signals that he felt coming from his new friend…Jongdae said that he liked him too.

Minseok doesn't believe in love though, it can't last and the only person he can trust with his heart romantically is himself, after experiencing so much loss with romance that was the conclusion he came up with. Yet, he found himself hopeful, what if Jongdae is different?

They didn't start dating right that second because Jongdae says that he and Baekhyun have already discussed their feelings and decided it was best not to date. Minseok didn't expect that and he was so curious to know what exactly happened between them but he was scared of the truth, and that night instead of feeling happy that his feelings were being returned he wondered if he was just a replacement for Baekhyun. He knows better than anyone else the good qualities his friend has and he had to face a truth that must have been in the back of his mind this entire time, he felt inferior to Baekhyun. Once he realized that he couldn't stop thinking about it. The conversations with Jongdae continued with an added sweetness and they began to call each other daily now and though their time zones were vastly different that didn't stop them. One day when Minseok was out he received a message and being with his friends he tried not to let his expression drop when he read what Jongdae sent. Jongdae felt terrible about everything about not telling Baekhyun and even though they were not officially dating it felt like it and it is not like Minseok didn't understand, he knew all too well. Typing out his reply he said that he felt the same but that he needed to know two things and he needed Jondagae to be completely honest. "Am I replacement for Baekhyun?" Sending the first question made his stomach turn, he needed a perfectly honest answer no matter how harsh it was. Waiting for the reply was hard and he tried his best to focus on his friends that were talking to him and once the break in the conversation came he checked his phone to see the reply and once again hid the anxiousness that welled up in the pit of his stomach.

"No, you're not. I liked you before Baekhyun."

Breathing a sigh of relief Minseok smiled at the response glad to have his own identity and typing out his next message he got serious again. "Then, do you want to end it?"

It referring to their state of limbo and when he got the message he figured as much. Jongdae says he doesn't know and that Minseok should decide, the thing is he is not sure too and their limbo state continued. The daily calls turned to video calls and it was the first time Minseok video called someone so much, not even Baekhyun would do this much with him and it felt nice because he could see Jongdae and not just hear him. Now Minseok was starting and ending his days with Jongdae but those feelings of guilt still ate at him and finally he mustered the courage to message Baekhyun. Of course if he messages Baekhyun first he will get a reply, the replies are just echoes of what they used to be and soon enough even when discussing things that are important Baekhyun disappears on him without messaging him until Minseok messages Baekhyun again. It hurts his pride, to be honest, sometimes he wonders if this relationship is worth throwing all his pride away for, but then what kind of person would he be? As they talk Minseok just reinforces his idea of cutting the limbo relationship with Jongdae and he was determined to do it that night but just talking to Jongdae melts him instantly. He can't bring himself to, he wants to be selfish, he wants to be happy.

More time passes and one morning as Minseok is getting ready to leave and he is about to say his goodbyes to Jongdae he hears a sniffle and stopping dead in his tracks he looks at his phone screen, Jongdae is covering his mouth to muffle the sounds but he can still hear them. Jongdae is crying and Minseok is wondering, asking why and Jongdae says that he doesn't feel the love anymore. This confuses Minseok because he thought he was acting the same as usual, what did he do wrong? He comforts Jongdae as best he can but when the call ends and as he drives away he really starts thinking back on his past actions yet he can't figure out. He really has been acting normal so why? Jongdae cries one more time and now Minseok is really worried. If he is making him cry now then if they officially start dating how would it be like then? Can he really make Jongdae happy? He's not sure…and he at comforting others but he knows someone who's good at it, someone that Jongdae talks to daily, Baekhyun. That piece of information has always bothered a corner of his mind and he's not upset at Jongdae for talking to Baekhyun since he knows that Baekhyun is a really fun person and he is someone who can make people feel at ease. Someone who can comfort others.

Baekhyun is everything Minseok is not.

One morning Minseok receives a call from Jongdae and it starts off normal enough until Jongdae asks how sure he is when it comes to their relationship. He doesn't want to hurt Jongdae and tell him that he is thinking about ending it at least three times a week, instead, he says that he's 80% sure of their relationship but that 20% bothers him a lot and when he returned the question Jongdae said he was 50% sure. It did sting a little but he's not instead he decides that now is the time that he should tell Jongdae what he has really been feeling and rolling around on his bed he settles into a more comfortable position and begins.

"You know I think you will be better off with Baekhyun."

He was met with silence but he had to say it all before he gets too cowardly, he has to let Jongdae know what he's feeling, he has to be honest.

"Baekhyun can talk to you more, he's around more and unlike me, he can comfort you better. I don't know what happened between you two but I'm not sure if I'm the right choice."

There, he said it!

"Baekhyun lives farther away than you…" The soft reply came but Minseok shook his head, the distance didn't matter because they manage to talk more, Baekhyun stays up late (something that he always tried to have him change, because sleep is important) and that means that he's there during Jongdae's daytime while Minseok is only there during the early morning and nighttime.

"That doesn't really matter, does it? You guys talk way more than we can." The subject was dropped and they returned back to their daily yet now Minseok really knew, he was starting to get jealous of the friendship between Baekhyun and Jongdae. He has asked Baekhyun so many times to call him like the old days and Baekhyun simply said that he was too busy but then he has to hear from Jongdae that they call each other every day? When he goes to the messaging app that took his best friend away from him he sees Jongdae and Baekhyun having matching profile pictures, something that he used to do with Baekhyun or he'll see that they switched profiles or that they are together in a chat talking to each other so sweetly that people think they're together, something that Baekhyun clearly likes hearing and yet he can't do anything about it. He is upset and he wants to show it but he can't because he knows that he's in the wrong too.

But why is it so wrong to like someone?

Time passes and Minseok finds a book that he and Baekhyun adore so he messages Baekhyun to tell him that there's a new part to the series and they talked about it for a bit but as usual the conversation dies. A few days later Minseok sees that Baekhyun changed his profile picture to the book and that Jongdae has his set to it too and now Xiumin is starting to get upset. There is a movie that goes along with the book, did Baekhyun watch it with Jongdae?

"We watched the first part together, why didn't he tell me about it? I gave him that idea! I brought it up again!" He was angry and his mind tried to find a reasonable answer that justified why Baekhyun didn't tell him about the profile change when he knows just how much Minseok adores the series, that all came to fading stop as he just sighed closing the messenger.

The answer is simple, they are no longer what they used to be. He wants to give up, he doesn't want to see Baekhyun anymore but at the same time, he still longs for his friend from the past. Xiumin doesn't want to feel like this anymore, it hurts. As much as he likes Jongdae, he doesn't want to see himself fall to such a low level that he is reduced to nothing but a ball of jealousy that can lash out at any moment and he hates the guilt that he feels towards his friend that he wants to end everything with.