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Hardship

“Where’s Jinki, Jonghyun?” Kibum’s soft question was heavy in context, even when in tone it was gentle and warm.

“Probably the pub down the street.” Jonghyun swallowed thickly. “He’s not taking being fired well.”

Kibum deeply sighed, before bending down to wash off the face mask present on his skin. After patting himself dry he gazed at the computer screen, “Have you tried talking to him?”

“He avoids me like the plague.” Jonghyun brought his legs up to his chest. “When I bring it up he just gets frustrated. You know how prideful he is. He still calls you right?”

“Every morning he calls me when I’m getting ready for bed. He sounds so tired Jongie.” Kibum’s frown deepened. “I want to be home. I never should have agreed to go to this seminar across the damn world. I need to be home with you and Jinki.”

Jonghyun flashed a tiny smile. “As much as I miss you I don’t think you being here would be of much help.”

“You’re wrapped up in bed hurt because our lover of almost a decade is blocking you out.” Kibum bluntly said, moving into the hotel’s bedroom to get dressed for the day. “I’ll talk to him. Okay Baby?”

“It won’t help.” Jonghyun mumbled, emotions leaking into his voice as tears began to form on his lashes. “It’s like he’s disconnected from our relationship Kibummie.”

Kibum’s lips were pressed in a thin line before he softened. “I have to go Sweetie, but go take a bath, use one of our bath bombs and relax. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He softly replied, a hiccup punctuating his words.

Kibum chuckled, fond of how cute Jonghyun was. “Talk to you later. Try not to overthink things. Times are hard, but we’ll get through it. We’ll get through to him.”

“I hope so.”

The laptop was quietly closed after goodbyes were said. Jonghyun in a ragged breath and frowned deeply at the condition of their bedroom. He also was a little hungry. How tense the air was at dinner made it hard to focus on eating. He glanced at his cell phone on the nightstand and wondered if Jinki would even answer if he called, or would he just ignore it to muddle through his emotions alone with a pint on the bar in front of him.

Tossing the blanket from his legs he wiggled to the edge of the bed and heading into the kitchen for a snack, leaving his phone on the nightstand face down. Not like he was expecting anything anytime soon.

—-

When he heard the front door open a few hours later he laid his phone on the bedside table and clicked off the light, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep. He heard Jinki mumbling as he moved through the apartment. The shoes being tossed off at the door, his jacket rustling as it landed wherever it was tossed and the jingle of his keys as they skid across the dining room table where he always dropped them on the way to the bedroom. Jinki let out a deep sigh as he stepped into the room, pausing for a long moment before walking towards the bathroom and shutting the door. Jonghyun turned a little to look over his shoulder at the light under the door, deeply frowning at what they had become. When he heard the water turn off and the handle on the door beginning to turn he returned to his comfy position and pretended to be asleep. He felt the bed dip behind him, the rush of warmth as Jinki laid under the covers, and the soft noise he let out as he relaxed against the pillows.

Jonghyun almost tensed when he felt Jinki’s hand on his hip, as an anchor as the man moved closer. A kiss was pressed to his shoulder, a soft slurred, “I love you,” Was said, before he returned to the other side of the bed. He to his side, facing outward from the bed and shifted for a few moments to get comfy. Jonghyun only looked over when his breathing evened out and he knew him to be asleep.

He wanted to reach out and touch him, wiggle closer and spoon him with his hand on his tummy and nose against his neck, but he didn’t. He just rolled back over and snuggled the blanket closer to try and sleep.

——–

In the morning he was awoken by the soft ringtone of Jinki’s cellphone and the soft mutterings of disapproval of the man as he was taken from his slumber slowly. His voice was groggy as he answered the phone, eyes still not fully open as he rolled onto his back. “Hello?”

“Good morning sleepy head.”

“Kibummie.” Jinki softly mumbled, a little happiness dripping into his voice. “You getting ready for bed?”

Kibum’s laughter could be heard through the speaker, even over the soft sounds of Jinki smacking his mouth. “I’m in bed already. I wanted to be comfy when I talked to you Baby.”

“Mm, what about?”

“Is Jonghyun in the room?”

Jinki glanced over at him gently as he pushed up further on the headboard. “Yeah, I think he’s sleeping though. Why?”

“How about you go make some coffee and we’ll talk Baby.”

Slightly confused and concerned, Jinki did as Kibum suggested. He carefully stepped out of bed, his head pounding a little bit as he rushed up too fast, and slowly made his way out of the bedroom. He placed Kibum on speaker and placed the phone on the counter as he went through the motions of making coffee. “So when are you going to explain to me why you wanted to talk to me without Jonghyun in the room?”

I thought you’d like to talk about your mistreatment of him lately without him present is all.”

“Mistreatment?” Jinki’s brows furrowed. “I know I’ve been distant lately, but with me losing my job and everything.. That doesn’t deserve to be mistreatment Kibum.”

“Do you know how many times he calls me at night almost in tears over the fact you’ve ignored him all day, made him feel guilty for wanting to know how your feeling to help, and stay out all night at the pub instead of being home with him? He’s worried about you Jinki.”

“I’m sorry I don’t want to relive the embarrassment of losing my job and the failure of it all with my partners Kibum.” The anger edging his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

“People get fired every day Jinki, but you don’t see them mistreating the man they’ve been with for a decade because of it. Stop paying more attention to your damn pride and give it to him. We’ll help you through this if you just let us. You don’t have to be the main breadwinner anymore.”

“I’m not going to sit here and be lectured Kibum.”

“Then do something about what I’m lecturing you about and the lecturing would stop.”

Jinki growled in frustration. “You have no idea what it’s like to be at a job for years and be let go out of the blue. What the am I supposed to do now? Every time he looks at me all I see is pity. I get it, I’m a failure. I don’t need to be reminded of it. Goodbye Kibum.”

The phone call was ended and the phone almost slammed against the counter. Jonghyun swallowed thickly from his place in the kitchen arch. Jinki was leaning heavily on his hands, head hung low, and body showing his turmoil. His body shook a little as the sound of his cries finally reached Jonghyun. He took a step forward, letting his presence be known. “Jinki?”

When he looked up Jonghyun’s heart ached a little. Jinki’s voice was so distraught and angry as he spoke. “Next time you feel like I’m mistreating you, come to me instead of sending Kibum to scold me like a child.”

Jonghyun’s face shifted, showing just how much the words hurt him and it made Jinki feel like utter , even more than the words Kibum had said over the phone. He knew they were right, that Kibum was as always, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit that. He pushed past him without another word and disappearing into the bedroom with a slam of the door. Jonghyun flinched as the door slammed shut, eyes squeezing shut. His bottom lip began to tremble a little, fingers shaking as he reached to get his phone out of his robe pocket, and moving to dial Kibum. Except, he didn’t need to press call. The man was already calling him. He couldn’t even get one word out. As soon as Kibum said, “Hey Baby,” The floodgates opened. “Shh, shh. It’s okay. I’m sorry.”

“He’s… so mad.. At me.” Jonghyun fought so hard to keep his volume and tears down, but it was no use. He shuffled over to the couch and plopped back into the cushions. The blanket from the back of the couch was quickly pulled down and wrapped around his body.

“Just breathe Baby. I’ll be home tomorrow morning. 6 am at the airport okay?”

“Okay,” Jonghyun sniffled, “I miss you.”

“I miss you too. He’s not mad at you. He’s just hurting a lot and picking the extremely wrong way of dealing with it.” Kibum sighed, “I’m sorry I decided to talk to him about it over the phone. I should have waited until I got home.”

“It’s okay,” He pouted, breathing still quick and a little ragged. He was about to speak again when he heard the bedroom door opening. When he looked behind him Jinki was fully dressed. His keys were grabbed from the table and his shoes thrown on. He didn’t even grab his jacket, for it was thrown over the arm of the couch next to Jonghyun. Jinki glanced at him before he stepped through the front door, before he reverted his eyes and left without a word. Jonghyun swallowed thickly. “He left.”

Kibum groaned, “I’m gonna kick his .”

“Kibummie you know he could overpower you in like two seconds.”

“I know this, it’s the thought and intent that matters here Baby.” When Jonghyun softly giggled Kibum made a little noise. “See you tomorrow lovely. I love you. If you see him, tell him I love him too the doofus.”

“I love you.. And I will.”

——

Around dinner time he received a text message. The little whistle tone Jinki had recorded for him told him that it was the man, and his heart was lodged in his throat. I’ll be home soon. I went to the lake. I’m okay. I love you.

It wasn’t what he expected, but it made him feel a little bit better that Jinki took the time to make sure he knew that he was okay. He wasn’t sure what to respond with, or if he should at all. After a few minutes of internal debate he decided on, Be safe.

He tossed the phone on the couch and returned to making dinner. He wasn’t sure when Jinki would be back, but he made the same portion he always made: enough for 3. Leftovers were never a bad thing in their home. The fact they were going to probably talk later, confront the fight hanging over their heads, made his stomach uneasy. But Jinki had said he loved him, which usually meant he wasn’t mad anymore. He pressed his lips together and thought about calling Kibum, but he should be getting on his plane soon, and he didn’t want to bother him. So instead, he focused on dinner and maybe that bath Kibum suggested he take the night before. The present bath bomb did look really pretty earlier.

———

The bath water was warm and almost cozy, causing him to sigh deeply as he sunk further into the sparkly, colored water. His toes were almost prunes, just barely sticking up at the end of the bathtub. He was debating getting out or not when he heard the distant sound of the front door opening. He swallowed thickly, thoughts running through his head at what he was going to say. Was he still hurt because of Jinki’s actions? Was he mad at Jinki for how he handled things? He wasn’t completely sure. The only emotion he could pinpoint was fear of the uncertainty. Their relationship was lengthy, and it had its ups and downs, but never to the point of being two against one as it was that late morning.

Jinki’s voice was warm and soft, tell tale signs he was exhausted, as he came down the hall looking for him. “Jonghyunie?”

Jonghyun bit his lip for a moment before saying, “In here, Jinki.”

A moment later the man’s head was popping into the bathroom, a gentle smile on his face. Jonghyun could tell by his puffy eyes and red lips, that he had been in turmoil and pain the time he was away. Jinki always did bite his lip when he was guilty or nervous, and Jonghyun wasn’t sure which emotion, if not both, was the cause of the rich color of his bottom lip now. “Um, I have a lot to say and explain to you, but finish your bath Baby and I’ll be waiting out here.”

“Okay,” He gave a little smile and his stomach did a little flop when Jinki returned it, as if relieved he wasn’t denied from speaking at all. Jinki left the doorway, probably out to sit in the living room to wait for him. Jonghyun relaxed against the back of the tub with a big sigh, staring up at the ceiling for a minute as he thought about what was going to be said whenever he got the courage to get out of the bath and confront it all. Jinki’s appearance, and how hurt he looked, tugged at his heart. He knew Jinki, knew just how much of a sweet and amazing guy he was, and that his behavior wasn’t apart of his code. He wasn’t naturally an , but he was prideful. Could he be mad at Jinki for shutting him out, when in a way, he always had?

Jonghyun pressed his lips together annoyed. Jinki never was one to share his emotions and talk through things. That’s where they differed in things. If Kibum was home it would be easier, he thought. Kibum understood the way Jinki dealt with his emotions, and was a little bit of a buffer between the two contrasting ways him and Jinki had. With a huff, Jonghyun heaved himself out of the bath. He quickly dried himself before shaking his hair in the towel to get it less soaked as well. Once done, he went to put on a pair of socks, boxers and one of the big shirts the three of them share a lot of the time when sleeping. He sat on the edge of the bed staring at the slightly open door for what seemed like an eternity before realizing he had loved Jinki for 14 years. They should be better at communicating by then.

When he shuffled out of the hallway it didn’t take him long to find Jinki. Even with the man hunkered over himself, head in his hands, he was easy to find in the otherwise empty living room. Jonghyun saw the movement in his back and shoulders and before he knew it he was stepping from his spot and going around the couch. He touched Jinki’s shoulder softly causing him to unfold himself and look up. He had been right, Jinki had been crying.

He carefully took a seat on top of the glass coffee table in front of the recliner Jinki was currently sitting in. His knees were between Jinki’s as the man shifted to get closer to him. The tension between them that was filling the room could be cut with paper at this point, and neither knew how to start the conversation. That’s when Jonghyun noticed the vase of flowers to the left of Jinki. He smiled sweetly, “Are those for me?”

“I’m sorry.” Jinki whispers. His hands are shaking as he reaches over to take Jonghyun’s into his own. He presses a warm kiss to his knuckles before continuing, “I love you so much. So so much Jonghyun. I’m sorry I’ve neglected you, and shut you out, these last couple weeks. I didn’t want to face my failure of you and Kibum, the disappointment I have in myself.. And I handled it all wrong. I’m so sorry I hurt you Baby. I’m sorry I left you alone so much these last couple weeks. I’m sorry I made you cry. I hate making you cry.” Jinki’s eyes fall from his face, tongue running over his lip, and tears silently falling down his cheeks. His thumbs were moving over the back of Jonghyun’s hands as he continued. “I shouldn’t have hung up on Kibum like I did. I broke our main rule, to never run away until the fights over.. Until we have gotten through it. By ending the call and earlier, but I couldn’t face you with the guilt crashing into me. You were always so proud of me every time I told you about a project I was working on, or a promotion. I thought I was getting one and you were so happy and proud of me, and then I went into that office and was told to clean up my office and I had no purpose anymore. I had failed you and Kibum, failed myself. All those years working toward something and it all crashed down around me in a matter of seconds.”

“Hey,” Jinki’s head was lifted by Jonghyun’s soft touch on his chin, after he had removed his hands from Jinki’s hold. He smiled warmly, lovingly, as he moved his hand to cup his cheek softly. “You aren’t a failure Babe. Not to me, or Kibum. Not to yourself.”

“I’m a 35 year old man without a job and no sense of where I’m going.” Jinki sniffled, voice shaky in it’s foundation.

Jonghyun softly pushed his chest, making him lean back in the chair. With sure movements he climbed into Jinki’s lap, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle and nuzzling his nose into his neck. Jinki in a ragged breath, surprised Jonghyun was ready to comfort him after being so hurt, but soon enough he was returning the embrace. “We’re your support system. Don’t shut us out. We’ll help you in any way we can, because we love you. We didn’t fall in love with you because of how successful you were. We fell in love with you because of who are are underneath it all. The warmth of your hugs, the deepness of you laugh, the softness of your touch. The stupid puns you say when we all go to the store together. You could be anything you wanted now. A complete fresh start.”

Jinki swallowed thickly, eyes closed as he breathed in Jonghyun’s scent. Hesitantly he confessed. “You shouldn’t forgive me so easily. I was an .”

“You were.” Jonghyun hummed, enjoying the warmth for a moment before lifting his head and bumping the tips of their noses together with a soft smile. “But I can tell you feel bad about it and that your apology is meaningful. You feel guilty and you know what you did was wrong. I love you. I won’t make you feel worse about it.”

“I do love you.”

“I know,” Jonghyun grinned, pressing his lips to Jinki’s softly. “My little doofus.”

“At least I’m still yours.”

“Always,” Jonghyun cooed, running his fingers through Jinki’s hair. “Fourteen years and you’d think you’d never not be mine.”

Jinki’s cheeks were a little pink as he shyly said. “I was worried.”

“Well, I hope you aren’t worried now.” Jonghyun’s eyes flicked to the bottle of wine on the table. “Do you want to pop that open and drink it?”

“Does that involve you getting up?”

“Just for a moment.” Jonghyun chuckled when Jinki whined a little as he moved from his lap. The pout on the man’s face was a strong one for someone his age. “I’ll be right back.”

Jinki was still pouting when he returned a moment later, but his expression shifted to one of confusion at the lack of wine glasses in his hands. The neck of the wine bottle was covered by his hand as he walked across the room and climbed back into his lap. “Are we guzzling it, because I’m not in my college condition.”

Jonghyun snorted, before taking a small swig of the wine and passing it to Jinki. “Why dirty glasses?”

With a grin Jinki tipped his head back and his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed. The wine bottle was placed on the table carefully. Jinki’s eyes were tired, but he looked soft and content as he always used to. His palms were warm on Jonghyun’s bare thighs, thumbs moving over the tan skin softly, as he almost mumbled, “How about you catch me up on your weeks I’ve missed in my ness, okay Baby?”

“Okies.”

—–

As the very beginnings of sunrise began to filter through the windows they’re eyes widened. Jinki yawned, smacking his mouth a little as he gazed at Jonghyun lying on his chest. “We’ve officially pulled an all-nighter. I remember it being a lot harder than this.”

“Mmm,” Jonghyun hummed sleepily, cheek nuzzling on Jinki’s chest, “We have to go pick Kibum up.”

“Ah. yes.” Jinki whined when he continued, “I have to apologize to him for hanging up on him.”

“It won’t be that bad. He told me to tell you he ‘Loves you the little doofus’ when I called him after you left yesterday.” Jonghyun moved so more of him was on Jinki, chin on his hands as he looked up at Jinki with a soft smile. “He loves you just as much as I do.”

“He’s had a 12 hour flight to seep his anger at me without the use of Instagram and cute dog videos, Jonghyun.”

“Well,” Jonghyun’s eyes fluttered a little as Jinki played with his hair with a few fingers. “He did say he was going to kick your because you hurt me.”

Jinki made a face of disbelief. “He’d last two seconds. You know I do the chivalry protection in this relationship.”

With a little bit of wiggling Jonghyun managed to press their lips together. “But you’re also a big softie for the both of us.”

“Yeah, you got me there.”

——

When they spotted Kibum coming through the gate Jinki swallowed thickly. His eyes were cold and calculating, cutting straight through him as they found him. Jonghyun was gently kisses, swooped up to his side with a sweet smile. Jinki didn’t move from his spot like Jonghyun had, instead fidgeting with his sweater sleeves and hoping Kibum wasn’t too mad at him. He looks up when he hears Kibum softly ask Jonghyun, “Do I have to attempt to defend your honor?”

Jonghyun smiles so warmly as he shakes his head, “No, we talked it out.”

And then Kibum grins. So wide and happy as he rushes forward. His hand goes to cradle Jinki’s head, his other on his lower back as he tugged forward. His hair is kissed before Kibum quietly says, “I’m so happy to hear that. I only wanted to hug you baby. I’ve missed you so much, Baby.”

“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Jinki whispers, worry still dripping from his voice and how small and vulnerable he looks as Kibum pulls away slightly. “That I hung up.”

“Oh, you sweet thing,” Kibum’s hand was so big his fingertips were going into his hair as he cupped his cheek. “I just wanted you to allow Jonghyun to comfort you. To get you out of this thick head of yours.”

“You aren’t mad at me?”

“I was a little annoyed, but I know how much that job meant to you. We just have to work on your handling skills a bit better,” Kibum smiled softly, “Come, I’ve been wanting to be squished in a cuddle sandwich since the moment I boarded the plane to leave in the first place.” He turned a little to open his other arm to invite Jonghyun in. Once against him, Kibum asked, “Do you think you two can help with that?”

Jonghyun gazed over at Jinki, at his happy, breathtaking smile, as they both said, “Yeah. I think so.”

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Al-Qamar #1
Cutesssss lOvE it!!
creepyjuliet88
#2
Chapter 1: ohhh, how nice this story isss~~ i really like it. really really like it

thanks for the amazing story author-nim, keep going on making Jonghyun fic. Im supporting you! Jjang!!!!
#insert sarang here <3
Hyuuga_Heibe
#3
Chapter 1: You know why I avoided to read this? Because I was scared that this was about to choose between the pair at the end.. But, God blesses you! You indeed make it worth to read :D
I love it!!
lesleyluna #4
Chapter 1: I love this!!
taratata #5
Chapter 1: Its lovely.... ♡♡♡♡♡
chriself #6
Chapter 1: I will never get this OT3 out of my head or my heart. <3