From Us
To YouShe is someone I can always depend on.
She looked so peaceful.
Mina knew she was being a little creepy, watching as her roommate slept soundly, tucked under the white sheets as she lay curled up on her side. The ballerina giggled when the slightly older girl began snoring, the noise almost as loud as her voice. Though most people would probably curse at her for the habit, Mina had to admit: she was actually a bit relieved.
She can’t remember the last time she’s seen the leader sleep this well. They’ve just finished another concert and were going to have one the next day. With hours upon hours of rehearsals and recordings, it was a miracle that none of them had passed out from exhaustion. As their leader however, she knew Jihyo had it the worst.
She had seen Jihyo last for days on end with barely any sleep. And even when she did, they were fitful, full of nightmares that seem to leave her gasping for air and too afraid to fall back asleep. How she manages to keep that bright smile on her face despite the fatigue, Mina will never know.
But it was these sleepless nights that brought them closer together.
Nights spent on the living room couch, just the two of them, having conversations they would have in whispers in fear of waking the others. Mina knew she was slightly too dependent on the older girl. Maybe it was from the way she was so attentive to the her needs. It made Mina feel like she was free, made her feel like she could do anything as long as Jihyo was there.
It’s funny. They were polar opposites. Jihyo who was loud and charismatic and her, just shy and introverted. They were in no way, a match made in heaven. But they made it work. And minus the members from her native land, Mina frankly felt the most comfortable around her.
And she wished Jihyo would feel the same around her too.
Knock, Knock.
She knew it was the members behind the closed doors, waiting to be let in, waiting to surprise the leader. She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to let the others disrupt the peaceful state Jihyo was in right now.
Mina knew she could get pretty protective and possibly a bit possessive when it came to her members, but it goes through the roof when it comes to Jihyo. Her actions were rather subtle. An arm casually wrapped around her hip, pinkies hooked together to ensure that she doesn’t wander too far, a scowl when a boy group member gets to close. She couldn’t help it.
All because she wanted Jihyo to know she could depend on her too.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
The were getting impatient, she could tell and Jihyo was beginning to stir too. And they had Jihyo’s cake too, that might melt if she took too long. So she made her way to the door slowly, trying to give what last peace she can offer to the girl.
Happy Birthday Jihyo-ya. For now, this is all she could do for her.
She makes me happy.
Childlike and innocent, Momo was easily pleased.
Toys were a good example and hence, Barbie dolls and plush toys were common gifts she would receive and they were always able to cheer her right up. Dancing seemed to have the same effect on her too. Performing for the fans and seeing their delight, perked her up too. And who could forget food? After all, one way to a girl’s heart was definitely through her stomach.
But lately her source of happiness seemed to come from one Park Jihyo.
The leader was just as radiant as the sun, spreading joy and warmth wherever she went with her kind words and breathtaking smile. Even her own father agreed. Admittedly, she might have been bitter when she found out that he was a fan of the main vocalist and was willing to wait for hours just to see her but she couldn’t deny that she would have done the same.
Momo liked how Jihyo treated her as an equal. She knew people thought of her as a bit of an airhead. She wasn’t; she just gets lost in her thoughts a lot. As a result, people rarely saw her as more than an idiot. She was just the cute one who dances.
But Jihyo actually took her seriously enough to give her a chance. She had been the first to cheer her on when she was performing on Hit the Stage. She would take her dance ideas to their choreographer. She was always hyping her up whenever she began to doubt her abilities and it really made her feel appreciated.
Sure, the other members did it too. But it just felt more special when the leader did it.
Momo also loved Jihyo’s smile. The one where her large eyes formed little crescents, her nose would crinkle and her perfect teeth would peek out from behind her rosy lips. She loved how Jihyo always had that smile on her face. Even as eight bodies pounced on her and roused her from her sleep. Even when they practically screamed “Happy Birthday” into her ears. Even when they covered her face in icing. The smile never disappeared.
But Momo could tell when Jihyo was faking it. The smile wouldn’t reach her eyes.
Momo could tell that Jihyo was genuinely grateful for the surprise but she was tired and was too nice to chase the members out of the room.
So Momo pretended to be exhausted, dramatically yawning and stretching just to give them a reason to leave so that Jihyo could have her time to rest.
Jihyo shot her a thankful smile, the smile she was searching for, and Momo felt ten times better. Happy Birthday, she mouthed back before she closed the door behind her.
As she walked back to her room, she thought back to all the moments she had spent with Jihyo. She might not be the brightest or the strongest person in the world.
But she would give up anything to protect that smile.
She’s the best sister I could ever ask for.
Having grown up as an only child, Sana used to wonder what it was like having siblings. She had her parents, there was no denying that they loved her wholeheartedly. But there were things she couldn’t say to them. Things her friends said they only told their siblings about. She envied them. It was lonely being the only one in the family.
So when Twice was formed, she was glad that she would finally be able to enjoy the luxury of having sisters, eight of them all different from one another. Sure, they had minor arguments from time to time, but it was nothing they couldn’t fix. In fact, those fights actually allowed them to understand each other better.
It was exactly what she expected when she dreamed of having siblings.
Nayeon and Jeongyeon, though opposites, were stereotypical older siblings. Nayeon being the bossy kind, the one that would order the younger ones around while Jeongyeon would be the one who was like a second mom and would nag at them for the tiniest of things. Mina and the maknae line were great younger siblings, sweet and precious, and Sana would never let anything hurt them. And Momo? She was her twin in every way possible.
But Jihyo was an odd one.
Despite being the younger one between them, Jihyo had often came off like an older sister, constantly making sure she was alright, helping her wash off her makeup when she was too tired to do so. It was probably in her nature to do so; the girl does have younger siblings of her own.
But there were days where Sana unexpectedly found herself stepping in to play the older sister role.
When Jihyo was hurt, she had pushed her around in a wheelchair. On a daily basis, she’ll take any chance she gets to smother the younger girl with hugs and kisses.
She always imagined herself as the cool, carefree older sister everyone would want, so she had never expected to find herself constantly worrying over Jihyo. Is she too emotionally strained? Is she eating well? Is she getting enough love? Those were the questions she pondered over while she watched Jihyo go about her duties.
Even now she was acting as the big sister.
It was raining again, as expected of the rain girl on her birthday. They had just arrived arrived at the concert venue to get ready for some last minute checks before their concert later that evening. Having been woken up early that morning, most of the members were still pretty much asleep. Their leader was no exception.
Sana watched her rub at her knees before she groggily stumbled out of the car they were in, wincing slightly as she stepped out. Ever since the surgery, Jihyo had been experiencing aches in her knees when the weather got too cold. Today was no exception.
As casually as she could, Sana slid up to the younger girl and took her by the hand. Jihyo flinched slightly, only relaxing when she saw Sana leaning in closer. “Jihyo?”she called out fondly.
“Hmm?”
“Happy Birthday.” When Jihyo grinned and looked bashfully at the ground in response, Sana found it incredibly adorable and pecked her on the cheek, prompting laughter from the both of them. One look at Jihyo and Sana knew what she would give to her this birthday.
She’ll try to be the best older sister she could be.
She always looks out for me.
They always ended up like this, with Dahyun comfortably seated on the leader's lap and one of Jihyo’s arms protectively hugging her waist as they sat in the waiting room. Out of boredom she scanned the room, eyes stopping to watch as Jihyo went over their script over and over again. The older girl had begun to chew on her nails again, a habit she does when she was deep in thought or under stress.
It must be tough being the leader, Dahyun wondered, especially with all the unnecessary pressure they were under. She might be the leader of their School Meal Club, but that was nothing compared to what Jihyo had to deal with.
But Jihyo has never let that stop her.
Dahyun remembers the morning before she had to leave for the military. How Jihyo had apologised for being unable to send her off. “Don’t cry. Don’t get hurt,” Jihyo had said to her, almost pleading, even posting it on instagram with one of the first selfies they had taken together.
And she kept her promise, the not-getting-hurt part at least (she had cried several times). But when she got back, the first thing she did was walk right into Jihyo’s arms and sobbed, listening as Jihyo told her how proud she was. It was purely out of impulse. She wanted to be nowhere else but there.
But one specific memory had greatly impacted her view of the leader.
They were practicing, going through all the new choreography for their upcoming comeback when it happened. All it took was one misstep before Dahyun found herself on the practice room floor, clutching her leg as she writhed in agony.
She had sprained her ankle and the pain was killing her. Even now, her ankle still hurt when she applied too much pressure. She couldn’t imagine the pain Jihyo had to go through with a double knee surgery that caused her to spend months on crutches.
And yet, she didn’t need to think twice when she saw Dahyun. Despite the condition her knees were in, Jihyo had simply pulled Dahyun onto her back and ran, piggybacking her to the emergency room without a second thought. It was probably one of moments where Jihyo really showed everyone why she was chosen as their leader.
But Dahyun had seen the comments before.
Why is Jihyo the leader? Jeongyeon and Nayeon are way better.
Jihyo is only the leader because she trained for so long.
She should just stop trying so hard.
Dahyun tried to squeeze in closer as she stayed seated on Jihyo’s lap. She hated comments like those. It made her squirmish. All nine of them had made that decision. Only Jihyo had not voted for herself to be leader, the rest of them did, and it was a decision they do not and will not regret.
“Dahyunnie? What’s wrong?” Jihyo asked, worry evident in her eyes as she turned to the younger girl.
“Unnie, you do know that no one can take your place as our leader right?” Dahyun didn’t know where all the words were coming from. She just wanted her to know.
“You’re so sweet.” Jihyo chuckled, holding the younger girl tightly against her. “Thank you Dahyun-ah.” Dahyun didn’t say anything, just snuggled in close and hoped her presence was enough.
Jihyo was their one and only leader.
She’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.
She has been with me through everything.
5
She could hear countdown begin, the numbers echoing through the room, signaling that the concert was about to start. The hall was jam-packed with fans of all ages waiting to see them perform. Once the curtains were up, it’ll just be them, the stage and the fans.
It was her favourite place to be, one she’s waited so long to be at and yet, here she was, palms were sweaty, limbs trembling, breathing hastening.
Was she nervous or was she excited? She honestly didn’t know. No matter how many shows she’s done, she was always like this before a show, with adrenaline pumping through her veins and a heart about to leap out of her chest.
4
“Jeongyeon-ah.” Through the cheers, she could hear someone call out to her. She turned to the source of the voice, only to see Jihyo posing weirdly, an arm on her hip and the other pointed up to the sky, truly a strange sight to behold.
“Dance with me?” Jihyo winked, holding out a hand for her to take. Jeongyeon took it, stifling a laugh as they began their ridiculous dance routine. They did this so often that it’s become a custom for them to dance when they were nervous.
It was initially exclusive to just the two of them, but slowly spread to the rest of the members too. To Jeongyeon however, the gesture was always more significant when it was just the two of them.
Best friends? Partners in crime? That’s probably the best way to describe the relationship they both shared.
3
She still remembers the first day they met. Jihyo had approached her first, greeting her with a shy smile and an almost audible ‘Hi’ when they saw each other. Although the actions were timid, the older girl could see her enthusiasm. Jihyo was really looking forward to being friends with her.
But Jeongyeon was afraid. She had heard of the trainee whom had already trained for five years before she arrived and the thought of meeting her was intimidating. So instead of introducing herself, ran off to hide in the practice rooms after only muttering a ‘hello.’
It took her three months to come out of her shell, but even until this day, she has never regretted her decision to give Jihyo a chance.
2
Jeongyeon knew she wouldn’t have made it this far without Jihyo.
When the group they were supposed to debut in fell through for the nth time, she felt like her luck had ran out. She stopped going to practices, choosing instead to take up random part time jobs in order to find a new interest she could go after, which she did when she worked at a bakery.
She was this close to giving up everything to become a baker, and she would have if it wasn’t for Jihyo.
“I went back to JYP.” Those were the first words Jihyo had uttered when they met for the first time after the ordeal. It had come off as a surprise. She really thought that after nearly ten years of training, Jihyo would have given up this time. “And I came to drag you back because I’m not doing this without you.”
“Thanks Jihyo. But I’m happy where I am now,” she lied through her teeth, not that she could ever lie to her anyways.
“No. You’re not.” Jihyo shot back in the most assertive manner Jeongyeon has ever seen. “I saw the way your face lit up when they gave us the chance to debut. You want this as much as I do. You’re talented Jeongyeon. This is what you were meant to do.”
“And I need you.” That was all it took. “Please, Jeongyeon.”
So she got rid of the apron and followed Jihyo back through the doors of the JYP building.
1
They’ve really gone through so much together. Their bond was scary sometimes.
They could understand what the other was thinking with just one look and are more attuned to each other’s feelings than they’ll let on. Heck, she could even jump of a building and still be sure that Jihyo would be there waiting to catch her.
So when Jihyo flashed her one last smile, the nerves just disappeared.
0
Jihyo was right. This is what she wanted.
When the curtains were raised and she saw the crowd cheering before them, Jeongyeon was glad Jihyo came back for her.
She could get through anything as long as they were together.
She inspires me to do my best.
There was a time when Chaeyoung used to think that she hated Jihyo.
After all, it was Jihyo who took her down to the Minor team and jeopardised her chances of debuting back when they were filming Sixteen. Though, she did feel a little guilty afterwards. It wasn’t Jihyo’s fault she lost. She was participating in the competition too and just did what she had to.
But the show never really gave her a chance befriend Jihyo either . They were almost always on opposing teams. It was as if fate was playing with them. But when they finally debuted and moved into the dorms together, Chaeyoung took the chance.
The first thing she realised however, was that she actually envied the older girl.
Jihyo had it all. She was a skilled dancer, a gifted vocalist and now with a photo book under her name, an accomplished photographer. That was just her skills. Her beauty was comparable; simply captivating. And she was at least taller than 160, something Chaeyoung knew she could never achieve. She was practically perfect in her eyes.
But Chaeyoung also knew that Jihyo never had it easy.
The ten years of training for example, was enough to drive anyone mad. She had only trained for three and couldn’t wait for the day she would debut. That in addition to all the fat-shaming the leader has experienced, Chaeyoung really doesn’t know how she does it.
Soon time passed, and Chaeyoung began to look up to Jihyo, wanting to learn from her. And Jihyo was glad to help.
The older girl would become the first person she would show her new drawings to. They would listen to the songs Chaeyoung would find together. She would even let JIhyo read through the lyrics and raps she wrote. Then they got the opportunity to write ‘Eye Eye Eyes’ together and Chaeyoung found that they made a pretty great team. It made her want to form a subunit with the leader.
Spending time with Jihyo also made Chaeyoung realise that she secretly whipped for the leader’s compliments.
When she had first cut her hair, Jihyo had been the first to commend her, going as far as calling her handsome and even making a fantaken photograph of hers into her profile picture. She liked it so much she even got jealous when the older girl praised another group’s maknae.
But in all honesty, Chaeyoung was glad that they did manage to debut together. It gave her a chance to really get to know the older girl and also gave her a new ambition: to get on the same level as Park Jihyo.
Performing with her on the stage right now was bringing her one step closer to that goal. And when Jihyo shot her a grin as they danced, Chaeyoung just knew.
She’ll catch up to her one day.
She has come so far.
The song came to an end and the crowd cheered as they bowed. The atmosphere in the concert hall was fantastic and it was unfortunate that they only had one song left before they ended the concert, before the end of this whole tour.
As they went through their closing comments, Nayeon could feel her heart swell with pride as she watched their leader speak with the utmost confidence, leading the interactions in a foreign language no less. She couldn’t believe that this was the same Jihyo she befriended back when she first entered JYP.
Where has the timid, awkward little girl she met eight years ago gone to?
She could still remember the days when Jihyo would avoid being in the spotlight, too shy to even ask for a new fork when she dropped hers and stumbling over her words when she did speak.
Nayeon had felt the need to lead Jihyo then, to take her by the hand and protect her from the cruelty of the world around them.
When she found out that Jihyo lived nearby, she would walk her home everyday after training. When she found out that there were bullies spreading rumours behind Jihyo’s back, she grabbed Jeongyeon and the both of them gave the bullies a piece of their mind. She had even made a promise to Jihyo’s mother to take care of the younger girl whenever she could.
So when did the roles get reversed?
One day it just happened. When new trainees began flooding into JYP, they along with the other more experienced trainees were tasked with showing them with the ropes and helping them acclimatise with trainee life.
Nayeon has worried a little back then knowing how antsy Jihyo got around new people. To her surprise however, Jihyo actually did a pretty good job, maybe even better than she did. She even went as far as helping out the pretty new Taiwanese kid, using her Mandarin skills to guide her in the same way Nayeon had done for her.
It turned out that Jihyo was a natural leader, having the empathy and wisdom that everyone could appreciate and even Nayeon’s own mother would agree and had even asked the younger girl to take care of her.
But there were some days where she still has to step in to take the weight off Jihyo’s shoulders.
She would take her out, bring her to a karaoke bar where they could just let loose, just spend time together. The younger girl would still come to her some days asking for advice. The members would joke about that a lot, but just because she acted like a child half the time, doesn’t mean that she wasn’t reliable.
Suddenly the lights dimmed and while Nayeon knew where this was going, Jihyo seemed clueless. She had to stifle a laugh when Jihyo began looking around in a panic, looking for their crew until the crowd began singing and the managers brought out a cake.
Hearing Jihyo laugh as they smeared icing across her face made her smile too. That’s how their relationship worked. When one smiled, the other did too. When one cried, the other would too. They would turn to each other in the darkest of times. To think that they’ve been through so much together, Nayeon was just glad that she got to see Jihyo grow up.
She’s proud and can’t wait to see how far she’ll go.
She deserves the world.
As they crowded together to take a photo, Tzuyu felt her body move on its own, unconsciously moving towards the leader. It was automatic; a conditioned response she found herself having ever since she spent more and more time with the older girl.
Tzuyu’s first memories of Jihyo revolved around their first meeting when Jihyo had attempted to strike up a conversation with her in Mandarin. Being her first time alone in a foreign country, she was honestly terrified. So when the older girl had spoken to her in her mother tongue (even though she got the words wrong) really made her feel a lot better.
Unfortunately, they didn’t get to speak much after that with Jihyo being in the more advanced classes and Tzuyu just starting out. Though they did get closer when Sixteen came around and they lived and trained with each other. But it was only after they had been chosen as Twice members that she realised she had formed an attachment with her.
Right before they had debuted, Jihyo had taken her to her home and treated her like family. They spent the night getting to know each other, looking through Jihyo’s baby photos and going as far as showering and sleeping with each other. She had even met Jihyo’s family, her sisters who were both mirror images of the older girl as well as her parents who seemed to have taken a liking to her.
In a way, they were like a family.
They teased each other a lot, making fun of each other’s quirks and features. Tzuyu would make her eyes look like they were bulging out of its sockets when she imitated the older girl and Jihyo would copy the maknae’s speech. Their dynamic also thrived on the fact that Tzuyu was somewhat of a tsundere, taking every opportunity she had to turn down her leader’s affection and refusing to tell her unnie she was pretty or “I love you” when they were face to face.
But Tzuyu also knew that they had each other’s back. Among the members, Tzuyu was probably the most comfortable when she was around Jihyo. It was one of the times where she felt like she could truly be herself. And though she acted like she hated the affection, she loved it when Jihyo would cling to her, resting her head against her shoulder.
Then, she realised she was lost without Jihyo around.
She was only aware of it during their trip to Switzerland and Jihyo couldn’t go with them due to her knee injuries. It was the emptiest week she has ever experienced and despite the fun she was having, there was an odd longing in her heart for the older girl. And when they finally managed to find the time to call her, Tzuyu found herself inching closer and closer to the phone as the call went on, just to make sure that they could see one another.
It scared her to think that Jihyo would hate her, that one day her jokes would go to far and she would unintentionally hurt the older girl’s feelings, and the trust they worked so hard to build will just shatter beyond repair. She really did care for the older girl.
She just didn’t know how to express herself.
With one last bow, the members officially completed their Japanese tour. As curtains closed and they moved backstage, Tzuyu made her move, taking hold of the leader while the other members made their way to the waiting room.
“Thank you. For everything.” She finally let go of the words she wanted to say, holding Jihyo close as the leader just chuckled and clung on. There was no other words to say, they just stood there in each other’s arms. And Tzuyu was glad Jihyo wasn’t going anywhere.
She wasn’t going to let her go just yet.
They are my world.
It came from nowhere. She had tried to hold it in but little by little her walls tumbled down. Her lips trembled, her shoulders shook and before she knew it a lone tear had already traced down her cheek, the floodgates opening as she sobbed.
It just hit her, how lucky she was.
She had a loving family that has supported her dream since the very beginning, friends she could always count on and even a job that she’s always dreamed of having.
And then there were her members.
The eight girls she was responsible for. Sure, they were a noisy bunch and could give her migraine from time to time. But, they had gone through thick and thin together. They’ve cried together, laughed together, even succeeded together. They loved her as much as she loved them.
What more could she ask for?
She continued to cry, the torrent of hot tears never ending. “You really are our crybaby,” she hears and soon she’s in someone’s arms, pressed up against their chest. The others join in, keeping her in the centre of the huddle and it only makes her cry harder, soaking the shirt the person holding her was wearing in tears.
They just stayed like that, without a need to exchange words. No one disturbs them for a while until a knock on the door echoed through the room.
Knock, Knock.
“Jihyo?” A familiar voice calls from behind the door, which Jihyo recognises as her mother’s. She knew her family was there, waiting to take her out for a night, to celebrate the last hours of her birthday together as a family. But she still doesn’t move away from the hug. She doesn’t want to.
“Must be your family,” Nayeon pointed out from beside her, sighing as she did so. Jihyo nodded in response. “I should go. Can’t keep my parents waiting,” she told them but the members made no signs of moving away. In fact, Jihyo could actually felt resistance when she tried to pull away.
Her members were easy to read. There were things they needed to tell her but couldn’t, Jihyo could tell that much. But they didn’t need to tell her anything, she already knew.
“We’ll talk back at the hotel,” she reassured them, shooting them a smile in hopes that it would be enough to make them let go. And it did, though with much reluctance. She slowly made her way to the door, greeting her family with a grin as soon as it opened.
“Are you ready to go?” her father asks and she nods, linking arms with her younger sisters as they headed towards the building’s exit. Before she did leave however, she took one last look at her members, watching them with much fondness.
She knew she had a role to play in each of her member's lives. And no, it wasn't easy.
But she wouldn’t have it any other way.
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