Jeonghan laid on his bed, music pumping through his earphones as he flipped through a magazine. Dinner should be done soon.

“Yoon Jeonghan!”

Jeonghan jumped, an earphone was yanked out of his hear. Looking up he saw his mom, a stern expression on her face.

“Playing around again?”

“No.” He smiled at his mom. “Relaxing. Basketball practice was brutal.”

She grinned right back. Except her smile didn’t seem as nice. “You want to go to a top university? Well you need better grades. I asked around and found you a tutor. A college student who goes to Seoul National. He’s helped other students before so he can help you,” his mom said berating him.

Jeonghan frowned. He was doing all right. He was on the basketball team as a regular. But since his performance was mediocre in grades it wouldn't get him into a top university. Still, a tutor though?

He complained. Loudly and vociferously to his friends. “It ,” he groaned, almost face planting into the table. “A personal tutor.” Jeonghan wanted to just die.

Mingyu, the ever-growing tall tree laughed. “You’re about to graduate hyung. A tutor wouldn’t be too bad.”

“Especially with your grades,” Jihoon said.

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Jeonghan bit out. “Are you implying something about my brain?”

Seungkwan let out a little snort. “You’re smart hyung,” he started.

“But a bit lazy,” Seokmin said. “Your grades a good. But could be better.”

Jeonghan opened his mouth to protest but was cut off again.

“A private tutor is better than cram school,” Seungcheol said. “I’d kill for a private tutor. They cater to your weaknesses. In cram school if you can’t keep up you normally fall to the wayside. Be grateful.” He frowned. “It at cram school.”

“You’re just slow too,” Jihoon snickered. “Cram school is bit advanced if you’ve been slacking off and spending it on sports like you two do.”

“We’re not just jocks!” Jeonghan and Seungcheol shouted it simultaneously.

Their friends laughed and snorted, howling up a little storm.

“Yea, sure. But if you put your noses to the books a bit more,” Wonwoo said, holding up his own book, “maybe you two wouldn’t be where you’re at now.”

“Ugh,” Jeonghan complained, “you guys and are no help at all.”

Jeonghan walked home the first day his tutor was supposed to be there slowly, dragging his feet reluctantly. By the time he made it home he kept both the tutor and his mom waiting by 10 minutes. His own little brand of childish rebellion.

He walked in gaining a glare from his mom. The tutor, a young looking man stood up with a smile on his face and a shallow bow for Jeonghan. He looked...pretty. Big eyes with double eyelids, a nice nose, pouty lips that curved into a smile with upturned edges, and tiny beauty marks. How in the world did such pretty men exist he didn't know. Jeonghan wanted to scoff. Hopefully pretty boy knew his stuff.

“This is Joshua, your tutor. Take him to your room and tell him what you're struggling with. Be respectful or else Hannie.” The tone in his mom’s voice brooked no argument lest he wanted to get smacked.

Joshua gave him a small bow. “Hi. Hopefully, I can help you with your studies.” He grinned at Jeonghan.

Jeonghan wanted to childishly stomp his way to his room but he didn't. He walked without acknowledging the older guy expecting him to follow. Jeonghan threw his basketball gear in the corner.

He gestured to the desk. “We can sit and work over there.” Joshua nodded placing his bag down near the chair, sitting down. “I'm going to change and I'll be back. Don't touch anything.”

That sent Joshua into a small fit of giggles. “No worries,” he said in a gentle voice. But the look he gave Jeonghan as smirked and told him, “I have no interest in a high schooler’s things,” was downright insulting.

Jeonghan’s jaw dropped. Annoyed and surprised at the audacity of this guy. He grabbed his clothes and stomped out to the bathroom slamming his door in retaliation.

By the time he came back Joshua took out some things and was playing on his phone. “Oh you're back,” he said swinging in the chair to look at Jeonghan. “Get some of your old stuff out. Let's see what we have to work on.”

Jeonghan mulishly took it out letting Joshua peruse everything while he wrote down what Jeonghan apparently needed to work on.

“Well looking at all of this we don't have too much to work on. But your English skills need a lot of work. Which won't be a problem hopefully. I'm from America so it's helped in the past when I've tutored other kids.” He smiled at Jeonghan giving him a smile that made Jeonghan want to smile back. “Let's get started shall we.”

Joshua essentially helped Jeonghan with his work, gave him some more work and pointed things out where he messed up and how he should do it, gave him tips, and helped where he struggled. If he wasn’t so intent on being a brat Jeonghan would’ve said he learned stuff. But he was bratty. While they did this for a few weeks, Jeonghan would always come late.

One day he wanted to see if he could drive Joshua away. He purposely went out with his friends forgoing the tutoring session. By the time he came home it was past the hour, leaving the actual session with only thirty minutes to spare. The look on his mom’s face when he came home was thunderous. She wielded her ladle like she was going to wallop him a good one.

“Yoon Jeonghan,” she said, her voice low, her hand waving her ladle. “Where have you been? You kept Joshua waiting the last two hours?” Her voice grew with each syllable. “You want to waste the money we’re spending on having Joshua teach you?”

Jeonghan, about to open his mouth to lay the blame elsewhere stopped.

Joshua came to his defense. “Oh darn,” he said, his fist hitting his open palm. “I must’ve forget. I’m so sorry Mrs. Yoon.” He bowed low. “Jeonghan sent me a text a few days ago. He said he had a huge project and wouldn’t be home till late today.”

Blinking, Jeonghan nodded dumbly. Whatever got him out of trouble.

“I rescheduled but forgot. I’m so sorry for causing you trouble. Jeonghan’s innocent in this case,” his soft voice said, all contrite and .

Jeonghan’s mom cooed. “It’s ok. All that stress from university must’ve made you forget. You poor thing. Let me finish cooking. You should eat dinner with us. Have a nice home cooked meal so you can relax some.” She whipped around to glare at Jeonghan. “Next time tell me too. So, we don’t bother poor Joshua here too much.”

Jeonghan mumbled, “It’s his fault. But sure.”

“Why don’t we see what we can do in the last hour Jeonghan?” Joshua sent him a sweet smile, but Jeonghan could tell it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Jeonghan was so confused. He had from day one, acted like a little to Joshua. But today Joshua came to his rescue, and instead of blaming Jeonghan or letting his mom tear a new hole into him. Was this guy stupid or just stupidly nice?

Closing the door to his room Jeonghan side eyed Joshua. He took his customary seat on the borrowed chair, humming to himself, like nothing was out of the ordinary and he didn’t just lie to Jeonghan’s mom to save his skin.

Jeonghan asked him, “Why did you do that for me? You know I missed it on purpose.” He hissed at the guy. If he'd be giving anyone else attitude like this especially when they older they'd slap the out of him, Korean hierarchy and all. And Jeonghan was being a brat.

Joshua just sighed and shook his head. “Listen Jeonghan. I'm not here to make life difficult for you. I'm here to help you study and learn better. So you can get into a good university. If you don't want me to help I can tell your mom that I can't help you and she can find another tutor.” Joshua gave him soft eyes, ones that reminded Jeonghan of small kittens. 

Shrugging, Joshua pushed back into the chair, “It doesn't have to be me. I just hope you'll take your studies seriously enough not to mess up your life. I know thought that what university you go to here means a lot here in the workforce. The time you spend with me lays down the foundation for your future.”

Jeonghan looked down, feeling bad now for the all crap he gave Joshua. Especially since his mom was wasting money and he wasn't paying attention to the fullest. Damn it all. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

Joshua smiled at him, giving him a gentle look. “It’s all right. I remember being bratty when I was kid too. But try to give a little starting today hmm?”

Nodding, Jeonghan tamped down on the odd feeling of indignation at being seen as a child.

“Hmm,” Joshua murmured. “Maybe we’ll have to go over this again. You’re making the same mistakes on this area.” He circled the question.

Jeonghan nodded, his eyes staring at Joshua’s face. He was cute. Despite his age Joshua gave off this aura of sweet naivety, like Jeonghan should be protecting him. Other days Joshua would come to the apartment giving off this aura of a smooth, cool, chic gentlemen. The two different personas gave Jeonghan whiplash. But intrigued him at the same time.

“Good job on this one,” Joshua praised. Jeonghan preened, his chest puffing out. “It was hard and you didn’t make a mistake. That’s good.”

 His brain went back to Joshua’s personality. While Joshua would be cool and level headed, he would sometimes blurt out really dorky things or do things that made Jeonghan abruptly laugh. Like the other day, Joshua mentioned something about man eating plants and Jeonghan had choked on his water in surprise.

Joshua captured his attention. he spent more time paying attention to his books and Joshua. By the time winter rolled around Jeonghan spoke about Joshua every other day practically. He didn’t notice until Mingyu brought it up one day, asking him jokingly if he formed a crush on his tutor now.

“Talking about Joshua hyung again?” Mingyu gave him a smirk. “You talk about him a lot. Are you sure you’re not in love with him or anything?”

Jeonghan went silent. He hadn’t thought of it like that until that moment. Was he? “Maybe,” he said softly. “I like watching him a lot when he’s tutoring me.”

Seungkwan, Mingyu, and Jihoon looked at him in surprise. Jeonghan was never one to share his feelings like this.

“Hyung ~ I’m so happy for you,” Seokmin said, his face forming that bright smile of his. “Your first love.”

He sat there, letting their words sink in. He was in love. Holy .

Seungcheol the ty bastard started laughing hard. He banged the table calling the attention of some of the surrounding students to them.

Jihoon reached and smacked him a few times hissing at him to shut his trap.

“It’s something like out of a drama,” Seungkwan snickered. “A young student falling in love with their older hot tutor.”

“Use your boyish good looks to seduce him,” Seungcheol said, wheezing out another laugh.

“ off,” Jeonghan huffed. “You wish you had my face. Hyuna still ignoring you?”

That made him shut his trap quick. And thankfully drew the attention away from his little crush on Joshua to Seungcheol’s general ineptness to get the girl he daydreamed about.

Jeonghan’s brain went into overdrive. He didn’t realize he started crushing on Joshua, at all.

“Jeonghan,” Joshua said, his voice thick like honey. “What do you want me to do?” He looked at Jeonghan with seductive eyes.

Jeonghan’s voice died in his throat. He could feel his straining in his pants, wanting to get out. Joshua looked ing hot and , , damn.

Chuckling, he titled his head. “Want me to help you with that?” He smirked, lightly running his fingers down Jeonghan’s .

He nodded silently, quickly.

Fingers made their way to his zipper, slowly moving it down. Jeonghan swallowed loudly. He watched as Joshua took out his hard .

“It’s bigger than I thought,” Joshua said with a little laugh. “I wonder if it’ll fit.” He winked at Jeonghan once before putting his pouty lips around the head, engulfing it.

Jeonghan groaned, pushing up into Joshua’s warm mouth. He whimpered. his inexperience. It felt too good.

Joshua simply hummed and took more of it in his mouth, running his tongue down Jeonghan’s shaft, .

Grabbing onto Joshua’s hair, Jeonghan moaned. He was going to come. He gripped Joshua’s hair. “Joshua,” he croaked out. “Please.”

But Joshua slid off his , his lips stained with spit and Jeonghan’s precome.

“Jeonghan oppa!” A large knock rang through. “Wake up already! Mom said your tutor is going to be here soon!”

Jeonghan shot up off his bed. He winced as he felt a wet stickiness in his pants. . He had a wet dream about Joshua. If he was in doubt about crushing on him clearly the dream he just had was proof. He groaned, a little bit in pain and half embarrassment. .

It seemed impossible but as time went by Jeonghan fell more and more in love with Joshua. And he had more dreams about Joshua…the sort that involved and Jeonghan doing things to Joshua, like putting his into him. But fantasies aside, Jeonghan fell deep.

 So much so that as his graduation neared he knew Joshua’s time wouldn't be needed anymore as he successfully helped Jeonghan study for his college exams and results would be out; it made his heart ache. He didn’t want Joshua to leave him.

“Can I ask you something?” He said out of the blue at one of their last tutoring sessions.

“Hmm,” Joshua said looking at his paper. Jeonghan knew that even if Joshua stared at his work, he was listening to him. One of the many nice things about Joshua; he always made you feel like the only thing in his world when he gave you his attention.

“Can I get a reward?” Jeonghan blurted out, nearly stumbling over his words.

“A reward?” He asked turning around to face Jeonghan. “What kind of award?” Joshua gave him a slightly suspicious face. “What for?”

“I’m graduating soon. And my results will be out. If I get into all of the universities I applied for. Will you give me a reward?” Jeonghan bit his lip, looking at Joshua, his eyes begging. “Please?”

Joshua stared at his face, likely looking for some sort of lie. But he gave in. He gave in to Jeonghan a lot. Which was nice for Jeonghan. “Depends on what you want. No alcohol. Nothing weird or wild. Nothing dum—”

“A kiss!” Jeonghan gripped the arm rests on his chair. “I want a kiss,” he blurted out.

“From someone I know?” Joshua gave him a quizzical look. “I can get a girl I know to give you a kiss but is that something you really want? I would think you’ve been kissed already or something.”

“No,” Jeonghan said. “I want one from you.”

Eyes nearly falling from their sockets, Joshua stared at him. “What?” He pointed to himself, his large fingers hitting his upper chest. “Me?!”

“Please,” Jeonghan said quietly. “Just the once.”

“I—” Joshua sighed. “All right. It’s just the one time anyhow.” He pointed a finger in the air. “Only if you get into all of them.”

Nodding vigorously, Jeonghan agreed. A kiss. That would cap off his senior year wonderfully. And maybe he would be able to confess too.

“Mom!” Jeonghan bounded into the house, his hand waving papers excitedly. “I got in!”

“Which ones?” She smiled at him. “The ones you wanted?” She had backup plans of Jeonghan’s favorites in case he was rejected and had to be comforted.

“All of them!” He jumped in the air, shouting. “Yes! I can’t wait to tell Joshua!”

“Oh honey.”

“What?” Jeonghan came down from his high.

“He’s not in Korea right now. He had to go home on an emergency. He’s not sure if he’ll be back either depending on what will happen.” She gave him a concerned look. “He didn’t have time to tell you.”

“He’s gone?” Heart dropping to his stomach, Jeonghan felt something thud hard in his ribs.

“For the foreseeable future yes. He said to say he was sorry and that he owed you.” She said each word softly, like she could tell just how hard Jeonghan was hit by the news. “Jeonghan?”

“I-I’m ok,” he said quietly. “I got to go tell the guys. I’ll be in my room mom.”

“He would’ve been proud of you.”

Jeonghan nodded, not looking up at her.

He threw himself on his bed. . He was gone and he didn’t even tell Jeonghan. That was so unfair. He knew it was an emergency and likely Joshua didn’t have time to tell him, but his heart felt like it was being ripped to pieces. Was this how his first love was going to end? Without him being able to get anything at all? Damn it all.