Jihoon has a habit of laying on the cold floor and just staring into the ceiling as if it contains a lot of wonders that he never knows about. He simply just lets the coolness consume his back while he breathes peacefully, not having anything on his mind.

The other members, on the other hand, just let Jihoon do what he does. They keep warning him that he could get sick if he continues his habit. He doesn’t mind the lectures he get from Jeonghan whenever he does it. The producer keeps letting out a hum whenever they comment on it, not really caring.

His habit started when he was 6. He was in first grade, and he had a best friend named Seungie who was a year above him and would always seem to trip whenever he started to walk. Jihoon was so amused by his friend’s clumsiness even though their schoolmates kept bullying his childhood friend for his habit of falling. Other people found Seung weird, and as Jihoon was always with him, others also made fun of him for being able to put up with that kind of personality. Jihoon never got that being different was so wrong.

One time, Seungie slipped in the middle of the hallway as he was on his way to his class with Jihoon tagging along. He tripped, falling first and his back not so gently laying on the floor. All of students witnessed and started laughing at him, they acted as if the poor guy wasn’t there to hear them. Jihoon was so furious. He walked in Seungie’s direction, jumping beside him, imitating his friend’s actions. He felt his bottom ache when he landed, but was soon followed by his laughter.

Seungie was startled when he found Jihoon beside him, cackling.

“What are you doing?” The older asked, tears welling up around his huge eyes.

“We’re in this together, dummy.” Jihoon was able to let out those words, almost forgetting to breathe as he was laughing.

Jihoon might have said that and thought lightly about it but the second grader felt something so genuine. He realized that Jihoon wasn’t just a normal friend. He will never meet anyone like Jihoon again. I’m sorry to leave you, Hoonie.

———-

Jihoon’s habit started when Seungie left, no one to be with Jihoon whenever he felt lonely. He started laying on the floor to remind him that he once had someone who depended him and trusted him. Seungie was his first real friend. This is also one of the reasons the other members think he is quiet and scary.

Jihoon sighed. He was not blind that one of the members was the reason for this habit. He knew right away, recognizing his childhood friend’s eyes, thick lashes, and dark hair. Jihoon could not forget the time when his old friend left him behind without bidding any kind of farewell. Jihoon was alone for many years.

He was staring at the ceiling, no, more like nothing again. Everyone is in their rooms, trying to enjoy their beds, and he was on the middle of the living room, laying down, finding his comfort. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, exhaling the warmth inside. Relief is all he could think about. He laid his hand on the fluffy rug that he had moved to have space to sprawl his petite body on.

He was so sure that everybody was inside their rooms, either sleeping, or being completely restless creatures but he felt like he was being watched. He heard the couch get squished, creating a slight sound that irritated him. He was disturbed from his blank mind, the noise made his current issued and responsibilities flash back inside his mind.

The culprit, unbothered, even switched the TV on, ignoring the body which he thought was still peacefully resting on the unforgiving coolness of the floor. Jihoon, hearing no lecture from the intruder, guessed who exactly the person who joined him. Seungcheol was the only one who did not care about his unusual habit. Not in the slightest bit has he heard the leader comment on it.

“Turn it off, Cheol.” Jihoon let the stern words leave his mouth, earning a small ‘hmp’ from the older. He sighed, not minding Seungcheol’s

sulking. This has been usual for the both of them. Having each other’s presence in complete silence without being awkward or having the need to talk.

Seungcheol plopped the rest of his body down, letting his head rest on the arm of the couch. He glanced at Jihoon, his lips forming into a small smile as he observes the younger stay in position. Jihoon had always fascinated him. Jihoon was so strong, talented, and knows how to take charge.

He turned his head to the ceiling, shutting his eyes before letting his mouth do all the work. He started whistling into melodic tunes, enough for Jihoon to feel much more in peace. Jihoon never stops thinking about the leader. He would never forget the only person who has made him feel loved the most and also the person who broke his heart so easily. Jihoon took a deep breath and started.

“Cheol, could you tell me the reason why you left me before?” Jihoon says the sentence as if it was so casual. Cheol, on the other hand, stopped the sounds he was making.

“Hmm?” The older, clueless, turned his head to the sprawled Jihoon.

“Do you know the reason why I got this habit?” Jihoon’s lids moved, his eyes appearing, still looking into nothing.

“Once there was this kid who always got bullied for being so clumsy. Then he became friends with a younger kid who would do anything to make him happy. There was this one time, when the older kid tripped in front of so many people, and they started laughing at him. But the younger did what he knew would make the older feel better and tripped on purpose so that he had someone even though in that worst time.” Jihoon was starting to let out a bitter laugh. He has never told this story to anyone and revealing it to the one who broke his heart made him feel so much pain, immediately forcing water to come out of his eyes. Seungcheol was unable to move as Jihoon continued.

“But one day. The older kid disappeared. Leaving no trace, not even saying goodbye. The younger was so broken he never let other people in his life, knowing they will only leave him in the end. And now his weird habit still remains, being the only reminder that he once had someone to lean on before.” Jihoon’s gaze fell down on Seungcheol, with tears slowly running through his face. He laughed so bitterly that it sent a pang of pain into the leader.

“How could you do that to me, Cheol?” Jihoon whispered, his voice breaking as his sob got heavier.

“Jihoon, I’m sorry. I-“ Seungcheol is not stupid. He knows who Jihoon his even way before they debuted. He felt so much regret, leaving someone he loves so dearly.

  “We should leave now, Seungcheol.” His mother put the last bag inside the car. She opened the door, getting inside the passenger seat, not forgetting to take her son in her arms, sitting him down on the backseat, buckling his seatbelt for him.

  “But I need to say goodbye to Hoonie first.” Seungcheol was about to cry. He can’t leave his best friend so suddenly.

  “Cheollie, you can’t have anyone bullying you anymore.” His dad started the car.

  “We can’t afford anyone making fun of you anymore, sweetie. It’s for the best.” Seungcheol was unable to get out from the car, as it was speeding. He let his tears run down quietly. I’m really sorry, Hoonie.

Seungcheol never forgot the only person who stood by him. The first person to

make him feel safe from the others who tried to ruin him. Seungcheol felt so horrible, seeing Jihoon cry like this.

Jihoon shut his eyes, wanting to lock the liquid forcing to slip out from his eyes. He was holding all these tears back when he met Seungcheol before they started as trainees. He knows the leader is not stupid, and that both of them know the truth. The story between them.

He was sobbing quietly when he felt arms, taking him off the coldness, embrace him tightly. Jihoon let his old friend touch him like that. He has been yearning for Seungcheol.

The younger felt wetness cover his cheeks, as Seungcheol’s tears drop on him, thinking it was a sigh that Seungcheol was truly sorry.

Jihoon did not want to talk anymore. He felt so exhausted. He slowly let his arms snake around his beloved’s waist, closing their space.

He did not care anymore. They both know, that in the end they had each other again.

“I’ll never leave you again. I promise.”