It's a cold, dark night in late December, the kind of night that shrouds the world in total darkness and chills to the bone, but Hoseok feels nothing but warmth in his heart.

Right now, he's exactly where he wants to be, in the dorm with s on an evening off, all of them warm and cozy with the heat turned all the way up, wrapped up in a pile of blankets together on the couch. The seven of them are watching a colorful kid's movie that they're barely paying any attention to; instead, they're cracking jokes, teasing each other, playing silly games, and drinking.

Ah, yes, the drinking. The forbidden activity of which its prohibition only makes it all the more fun. And Minhyuk had done well, sneaking enough alcohol into the dorm to get all seven of them satisfyingly drunk, the alcohol warming them up from the inside out, bringing a flush to their cheeks, and blurring the hard edges of the world around them into something like clouds.

Hoseok feels especially good, pressed into one of the corners of the couch with Kihyun beside him. Kihyun, who is something of a lightweight, and probably the drunkest of them all right now. He's smiling a lot, his cheeks round and rosy, and he's laying his head on Hoseok's shoulder as he quietly observes the antics of the rest of the group, laughing softly every now and then, a gentle and pretty sound that Hoseok feels against his throat more than he hears. It's adorable, and nice, and he really doesn't want to move, Kihyun a warm, comforting weight against him. It stirs something unusual and intense in Hoseok's heart; he suspects what it might be, but as always, he tries not to think about it too hard.

After a while, Kihyun starts to doze off, his eyes fluttering and slipping closed, and Hoseok decides that it's his duty as hyung to see him safely off to bed for the evening. Yes, a duty, a responsibility, that's all it is. He announces his intentions to the rest of the group, though none of them really seem to notice or care, too busy with their latest drinking game involving embarrassing confessions and friendly punches to the arm. Hoseok rolls his eyes and moves slowly from his seat so as not to disturb Kihyun, then scoops him up into his arms, Kihyun's head resting on his shoulder and his fists curled up against Hoseok's chest.

Hoseok walks slowly towards the bedroom that Kihyun shares with Changkyun, Minhyuk, and Jooheon, but at the last second, he changes direction. After all, it's probably not safe for Kihyun to be in a top bunk tonight, not when he's this far gone and could hurt himself. No, Hoseok decides that it'll be better if Kihyun takes his bed for the night, and for Hoseok, the couch will have to do.

As Hoseok carries Kihyun down the hallway towards the second bedroom, Kihyun stirs in his arms, and he lets out a soft, whimpering noise that has Hoseok's heart skipping a beat. Kihyun shifts around for a moment, his eyes still closed, then wraps his arms around Hoseok's shoulders, burying his face in Hoseok's throat and drifting back to sleep as Hoseok quietly nudges open the bedroom door with a warm smile, the alcohol in his veins making everything feel loose and dreamlike.

With great care, Hoseok lays Kihyun down in his bed and pulls the covers over him, Hoseok's heart warming with affection at the sight of Kihyun, overstressed, overworked, overburdened Kihyun, looking so sweet and innocent, like a baby, little baby Kihyunnie.

His eyes still closed, Kihyun turns over in the bed and presses his face into Hoseok's pillow, smiling and mumbling something about how it smells like him, and Hoseok blushes, thankful for the low lighting in the room and the fact that Kihyun's already half-asleep, and not willing to admit to himself that the blush came from more than just the alcohol.

Hoseok doesn't want to leave just yet, and so he sits down on the bed beside Kihyun, mindful to leave Kihyun plenty of space for his legs. He decides that he'll stay with Kihyun until the little guy falls asleep, because, again, it's the responsible thing to do, to make sure Kihyun goes off to dreamland in peace.

Kihyun has curled up onto his side, his hair hanging in his eyes and his lips slightly parted as he breathes deeply, and he looks so adorable that Hoseok can't help but reach down to gently brush a wayward strand of hair back behind his ear, his fingertips lingering just a moment too long on Kihyun's face.

When Hoseok finally moves to leave, positive that Kihyun has fallen asleep, he's surprised by Kihyun suddenly whining and reaching for his hand, eyes still closed. Hoseok laughs and sits back down on the bed again, reaching over to Kihyun's cheek.

"Kihyunnie?" he murmurs, voice low and deep, smooth like velvet.

"Don't leave, hyung," Kihyun says. Then, he slowly sits up in the bed with his eyes still closed, the blankets pooling at his hips.

There's a beat of silence and then Kihyun's eyes flutter open, and they're soft and dreamy and beautiful. They both just stare at each other for a few moments without saying anything, but it's not awkward, or uncomfortable. It's nice, peaceful, doesn't feel strange at all. Kihyun's gaze drops to Hoseok's lips, then back up to his eyes, and he smiles warmly, that beautiful, shining, glowing smile that Hoseok loves so much.

And then, without any warning, Kihyun reaches up for Hoseok's face with both hands, and kisses him right on the mouth, a soft, warm press of lips that has Hoseok's eyes slipping closed and his heart stopping in his chest.

Kihyun pulls back after a few seconds, and it's a few seconds more before Hoseok opens his eyes. When he does, he's greeted with the sight of Kihyun smiling wide again, his eyes crinkled into sweet little half-moons, and his cheeks bright red. Hoseok remembers at that moment that they're both still very, very drunk, and he feels his face heating up, dizzy in shock and...something else. He's not sure what it is exactly, but he kind of feels like he wants Kihyun to kiss him again.

But sadly, Kihyun just giggles and flops back down into the bed, pulling the covers up over his shoulders as his eyes flutter closed. He falls asleep within a few seconds and starts snoring gently, and Hoseok is frozen in place, his mind finally catching up with what just happened, his heart beating fast and hard and his lips still tingling.

He's happy, he realizes, really, really happy. But he's also terrified, terrified about what this means for the two of them now. It's been a long time coming, sure, and it's not really a surprise, but are they really ready for it, for...this?

It's several more minutes before Hoseok can bring himself to finally get up and leave, and he suddenly feels very sober, not at all in the mood to return to the shenanigans still going on in the living room. All he wants is to go to sleep, to put off thinking about this until morning when his head is clearer, and with Kihyun in his bed and the others still on the couch, he doesn't really have much of a choice except to go sleep in Kihyun's bed, at least, that's what he tells himself as he carefully climbs up into the top bunk in the other bedroom.

Kihyun's bed is smaller than his own, and much tidier, but his sheets are also softer and still carry the faint scent of laundry detergent and what Hoseok places as Kihyun's soap, and as he pulls the covers up over his tired body and shuts his eyes, he feels like Kihyun is all around him, embracing him in a soft, warm hug. He wonders if Kihyun feels the same way over in the other room, and wonders if Kihyun wants that embrace to be a reality just as much as he does.

Hoseok soon drifts off to sleep, and it's the best sleep he's had in months. He dreams of Kihyun kissing him again, and of the two of them curling up in Hoseok's bunk together after a long, tiring day, Kihyun small and lovely in his arms.

The next morning, he awakens feeling great, thankful to not have a hangover, and as the details of last night trickle back into his mind, his heart begins to race. Surely, he needs to go talk to Kihyun, right? And they should talk about last night, about what things will be like from now on. Hoseok is scared, yes, but he's also excited, can't say he hasn't been secretly hoping for this day for years now.

The other members are all still asleep, and so he's careful to stay quiet as he makes his way to the living room, knowing that Kihyun will probably already be awake and in the kitchen making breakfast, the two of them often the first to awaken in the dorm. Sure enough, he spots his beloved dongsaeng puttering around in his pajamas and bare feet, humming quietly to himself as he works. Hoseok's heart swells with fondness and he knocks gently on the wall as he enters the kitchen to make his presence known. Kihyun turns and his face lights up upon seeing Hoseok, and when he smiles Hoseok blushes bright red.

"Good morning, Kihyunnie," he says, carefully, not sure how to begin this delicate and potentially life-changing conversation. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept great," Kihyun replies, cheerfully turning back to his cooking. "Thanks for letting me stay in your bed, hyung. I guess I was really drunk, huh?"

"Yeah," Hoseok says, chuckling, "I carried you to my bed so you wouldn't get hurt on the top bunk." He steps closer to Kihyun, his heart pounding hard, the room suddenly too hot. He takes a deep breath, and begins, "About last night–"

"Hyung, you're not gonna believe this," Kihyun interrupts, laughing, "but I actually don't remember anything about last night. I must have been seriously, seriously wasted. The last thing I remember is Minhyuk and Jooheon starting some stupid drinking game, and after that, nothing."

"Really?" Hoseok says, stomach dropping in bitter disappointment. "You really don't remember anything else?"

"Nope," Kihyun replies, nonchalantly, humming again as he rummages through one of the kitchen cabinets. "Did something happen?"

Hoseok pauses, thinks hard. He sighs, sadly. "No," he says, "nothing happened, nothing at all. We all just went to sleep after a while."

"Cool," Kihyun says, not really paying attention as he throws more ingredients into the pot he's using. "Breakfast will be ready in a little bit, hyung. Why don't you go rest a little longer? You can even have your bed back now, I tucked in your blankets and fluffed up the pillows."

"Sounds good. Thanks, Kihyunnie." Hoseok replies, trying to keep the heartbreak out of his voice as he turns and leaves the kitchen to head over to his bedroom.

When he makes it back to his bunk, Hyungwon and Hyunwoo still fast asleep in their own beds, he carefully pulls back the blankets that Kihyun had neatly arranged and crawls under the covers. He buries his face into his pillow and pulls the blankets all the way up and over his head, and he feels like he wants to cry.

He's known for a long time that it was inevitable, that there would come a day, someday, when he and Kihyun would finally cross that very specific, very important threshold together. And he had hoped that, after last night, that day had finally come. But it seems that the two of them are still hopelessly stuck in that strange space between friends and something more, as always, though Hoseok hopes not forever.

He does end up crying after all, and then he drifts off to sleep, dreams again of the two of them and that very special someday.