"Your words were as beautiful as a flower

I remember the color you had"

- Violet, PENTAGON.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yuta lived his life knowing that certain people have distinct colors around them, colors that best represented each individual and their personality; glowing swirls freely tangling above air— they called it auras. Auras were supposed to be visually alike－ either black or white in shade— and they were supposed to be invisible to the human eye. However, Yuta had been able to see those colors. They vary. They were unique, had certain distinctions, not a single one was exactly the same to another. Others could see them too, but only if it was their soulmate’s, nobody else’s, not even their own. But that wasn’t the same for Yuta. He was born differently.  He could see colors floating above everyone’s heads like flies— he could see everyone’s auras. He could see even though he wasn’t supposed to. His parents said it was a gift- to be able to see what others can’t- but Yuta thought otherwise. The more the years passed, the more he learned to hate it. When Yuta first came to SM after being recruited from Osaka, he met Taeyong and Johnny. Taeyong’s aura was ethereal, Yuta noted the moment their hands touched as they gave each other a friendly shake. It was slightly silver while Johnny’s was warm chocolate. They were welcoming when he joined and Yuta didn’t have any problems. But when Taeil— yellow, slightly gold— and Ten— hazelnut— came along, Yuta knew there and then just how perfect the two newcomers would be for his friends. With how magnificently their auras mixed, Yuta forced himself to look away for the first time. He was disgusted with himself, he felt like an intruder to something that was meant to be sacred and private, only meant for two destined souls— for soulmates. The look on Johnny and Taeyong’s faces were priceless that day, eyes wide and mouths slightly ajar in disbelief. It was an unprecedented spectrum of hues, Yuta thought. Yuta was also there when Mark— his aura was red— and Donghyuck—orange— met a few years back. Goodness, when together they looked like a painted sunset. The shades that bounded them were breath-taking. It was stunning and Yuta grew bitter at the thought that he would never experience such a thing; he hated himself for feeling jealous most of all. It was pure agony; he knew who was perfect for who but he couldn’t find his. He saw everything but was blind when it came to his very own soulmate— Yuta couldn’t find them, no matter how hard he looked. Rather than a gift, Yuta felt it was more of a curse. He could see all those beautiful colors but he felt gloomy and lifeless— like pitch black and dull grey. Without his other half, it was lonely. But life goes on— Yuta learned to live with himself despite the deficiency. He was contented, at the very least. Seeing his friends happy made him happy. But there was a ache in his heart that wouldn’t go away but he refused to acknowledge it. In dawn, when he still hadn’t slept and was alone, he sometimes thought of it too, what they would be like? He thought back and forth on the possibility on who his soulmate would be. That blossoming yet hopeful feeling that he’ll meet them in the end— maybe he had, maybe he won’t. His soulmate could be anywhere, half across the globe even, or maybe just beside him— he wouldn’t know. It didn’t take long before Yuta decided he didn’t want anything to do with the idea of soulmates and tints, and kept that little secret to himself. No one knew, except for his parents, that he could see auras. He stayed quiet and lived normally, at the best of his ability. And if asked about his soulmate, he would just shrug and say that he hadn’t seen them yet— maybe someday though.     Yuta was 23 and still nothing, he grew tired and wary. Yuta learned not to care anymore.            But it was only until they met, again.           It was a year after he had left SM without a proper goodbye. NCT 127’s comeback date overlapped with his group’s debut. Yuta saw him then. It was at a crowded hallway inside MBC’s building; it was snowing outside that day, too. Yuta was supposed to head to the restroom to relieve himself before their live recording when he spotted a familiar nest of brown hair. It was by pure coincidence, nothing more. Though Yuta had seen him a bunch of times on television— heck, Yuta could vaguely remember how he voted vigorously for him just so he wouldn’t be eliminated in the show— it was very different when in person. The first thing Yuta noticed of everything else was that he had grown a lot over the past months. Even taller than when he was in SM Rookies with them. The second thing he noticed was so obvious. Yuta didn’t know what got into him, his feet moved on their own, striding with urgency, his hands reluctantly reached out and before he knew it, he had grabbed onto the other’s ar