Song recommended: Coming Home by JJ Project

Through this long tunnel, I see the end

Just when I'm about to see the light

I will be able to see your smile.

Kibum's fingers slowly grabbed the white blanket that was wrapped around his body, protecting him from the harsh morning coldness. He pulled the blanket over his head as the morning sunlight pierced through the white curtains as he buried his head deeper down his pillow, blocking any way of light to reach his still tired eyes. He turned to his side, deciding to go back to sleep and trying to get comfortable in his empty king-sized bed. A loud groan escaped his pink, bow-shaped lips as the alarm went off the minute he was about to fall back into the darkness. He slowly opened his eyes, rubbing them and harshly kicking the blankets away from his body, exposing himself to the late November's coldness.

He reached out to his cell phone, which was lying somewhere on his bed and unlocked it, turning off his alarm as the clock flashed seven thirty in the morning. His heart ached at the view of his phone wallpaper but it also gave him the weird kind of butterflies in his stomach. He swiped his finger up to see all the notification's that he received but the butterflies went away, leaving behind the empty feeling when he couldn't find that one notification he was expecting.

It's seven thirty in the morning, he's probably sleeping till now. Kibum convinced himself, curling his legs up to his chest as his hand slowly spread across the empty side of his bed that was cold, unlike his side.

A sigh left his lips as he closed his eyes, feeling the coldness of the winter morning on his face and the yellowish shade behind his eyelid that was overlapped by the sharp, soft like porcelain face that he craved to see and touch so much, those eyes that looked at him so lovingly which could make anyone's heart race like a teenage girl's who just had her first kiss. Those brown orbs in which he could stare forever in and never get bored of. Those lips that were as soft as a rose, and the one which he craved to touch, to kiss. He opened his eyes not minding the harsh sunlight as a tear rolled down his face that he quickly wiped away, sitting up on his bed and pushing his thoughts at the back of his mind.

Kibum: Good Morning! Have a great day today :)

He locked his mobile, throwing it somewhere on the bed once again as his attention was directed towards the window. The sun wasn't out yet since it was going to snow today, making the sky look gloomy and dull than the usual without its regular bright golden shine. Kibum knew for a fact that it was going to be as usual, boring and lonely and just the thought of it, the thought of having nothing to look forward to, made him want to go back to bed once again.

Even at the times where positivity and happiness is everywhere around him, even when his life isn't exactly wrong, he didn't feel happy. There was that part of him that always felt empty. It was like a constant cycle. Wake up in the morning expecting to see him, meet him, talk to him, hug him, hold him but when he realizes he can't get any of those things today he's left with no motivation to go on with the day.

He stretched his tired body and got himself up, going through with his daily routine, particularly was slow today. He stood in front of the long mirror that reflected his full body back to him, putting on his long coat and running a hand through his freshly dyed blonde hair. He stood in front of the mirror for a little longer than it was required.

The flawless Kim Kibum was no longer flawless, not for him anymore. The hint of darkness underneath his eyes that indicated the endless nights that he stayed up, the harsh nights that made him feel lonely and cold. He ruffled his hair a bit, patting some powder under his eye before exiting his shared apartment. He pushed the door open to the building and started walking on the footpath as the cars and people rushed by going on with their daily lives, running behind their dreams and hoping to have a better life.

-

Kibum rolled his eyes as he took the first sip from his hot coffee as he waited at the stop for his bus to come. The buses were never on time and that always resulted in him getting late for his college. He was a second-year student in Art college which he always dreamed to go to since he was in High School and after a lot of struggle he, at last, got to go which he was more than glad for.

He placed himself down on the empty bench as his gaze fell on the advertisement that was on the side of the bus stop with a few girls who were giggling and taking pictures of it while fangirling. And it made him even more proud than he already was.

It was Kim Jonghyun's poster. The famous singer and songwriter. The teenage heartthrob. Who became successful in less than two years and won hearts of many people. The one whose face was everywhere, all around Korea.

He is a celebrity who is loved and cherished by millions and whose voice is as beautiful as the rainbow, so bright and colorful like a baby's laugh, the soothing sound of the cascading waterfalls which gives you a beautiful, calming sensation, the voice that takes your hand and carries you away, away from the reality and the voice as calm and assuring as a lover's kiss that you knew everything would be alright just with the beautiful giggle of it.

And the voice he craves to listen to.

The voice that makes him feel safe and loved.

The voice he could keep on listening to for the rest of his life.

The voice he never wants to stop playing.

And that exquisite voice belonged to the Man he was in love with. The one who made his life beautiful, the one making him feel delighted, the one assuring him that everything will be alright and the one who completed him.

Kibum never knew he'd fall in love with his own childhood friend. Honestly, at first, he thought that's how friends felt, the affection and the attraction he had for him, but the way he felt when Jonghyun got into an accident, that's when he realized it was something more than just a mutual feeling between friends. And as cliche, as it sounds, That's when he realized he was in love with his best friend and even though it was the best feeling of loving someone as beautiful and amazing as him, it was a scary feeling. Even to this day, it is, the thought of him leaving. It sends a chill down his whole body. All these years of being so dependent on him, of being so addicted to his love, feeling the calming sensation to his voice, the laughter that brightens up his day and Jonghyun's every small detail means everything to Kibum and without those things he would be nothing.

In fact, it was impossible for him to live a single day without those things, like the way his tender and petite hand fits perfectly into his long, thin hands. His fragrance resembles the coffee he drinks so much and the strawberry shampoo that he uses. The aura Kibum could find everywhere around his house, to the point that it makes him break down due to all the memories relating to it, the way his body cuddles into his, the touch that always sends a spark through him, and the warmth that fulfills the emptiness in him. It's been 6 months since he went on tour and he can't help but miss him every single day.

Kibum sighed wondering if he misses him just how much he misses Jonghyun every single second of his day.

He got up from the bench, grabbing his things before climbing up the bus that has at last arrived. He sat down on a window seat and took a sip from his now lukewarm coffee, listening to the music that was blasting through his earphones.

He pulled out his mobile and unlocked it once again in hopes of receiving what he's expecting for.

No response.

He sulked back into his seat, looking out the window. It's confusing how nature functions. It can be sunny and then all of the sudden rain like it's the monsoon season. It's exactly like human's emotion. You can never predict it. And just like how rain could be so enjoyable and fun to watch, at times, you just randomly get emotional watching the rain. It all depends on the memories and feelings that you relate things to. The happiest thing could end up being the saddest because you have memories of it. The memories that you want to relive once again, but you can't. The precious times that would only be a memory to treasure for your entire life.

-Flashback-

"Ya! I swear I'll throw you somewhere if you end up getting sick" Kibum said as Jonghyun looked at him with his puppy dog eyes that he knew would work easily on the younger "But what's the use of winter and snow if you don't play in it?" Jonghyun gave a cheeky smile, making Kibum roll his eyes.

"I said no!" Kibum crossed his arms over his chest "...and you're just gonna make the house messy with snow everywhere and plus, you're not a kid!" Jonghyun rolled his eyes and grabbed the other's wrist, pulling him along "Yeah, yeah sure, Mom. Let's go." Jonghyun dragged the taller boy outside their apartment with him.

"I can walk by myself, you know?" Kibum argued but he was responded back with a giggle "So what?" Jonghyun grabbed his wrist more tightly, pulling the younger closer to himself "And your not letting me play in the snow so you need to compensate for me"

"Fine. What do you want, child?" Kibum mocked him and turned his gaze towards the other just to find him looking back with evilness pouring out from every inch of that beautiful smile of his. "I swear to God, if it's another one of your dumb plans, I'm going back home."

"No!" Jonghyun's evil smile turned around 360 degrees and it was replaced with an innocent one "I want ice cream." Kibum unintentionally ended up laughing, surprised at the absurd behavior of his boyfriend.

"Yeah... Guess what? I'm going back home"

"Haha, You wish boy. You have no other choice. Either it's the Ice Cream or Playing in the snow."

"No I mean, You do realize you have a tour next week, right?"

"And you do realize this is going to be our last date until the next few months, right?"

Kibum sighed, knowing he could never win over this walking cuteness known as Kim Jonghyun. He once again observed the other's expression and ended up giving in.

"Fine. But if you get sick I'm not responsible for you" Jonghyun squealed like a kid who just got a free chocolate and grabbed onto Kibum's arm, swinging it "Ah! I love you so much Kim Kibum."

"One Strawberry Milk and Choco Mint, please?" Jonghyun ordered in their favorite Ice Cream Parlor while Kibum was sitting on one of the swings right in front of the shop in the park that was now filled up with the first snowfall, making weird patterns with his feets on it. Jonghyun smiled at the pleasant view in front of him, his two favorite things- snow and Kim Kibum- together was everything that he needed.

Kibum was so focused on the fresh snow and the patterns he carved that he didn't even notice Jonghyun, creeping up behind him until he felt a tug on his shirt with a sudden coldness, washing over his back. He turned around in a swift, still confused about what just happened but once he saw Jonghyun, his emotion turned from confused to evil.

"Haa! You thought I wouldn't know you'd do something like this Mr. Kim Jonghyun" He removed his fist out of his pocket which had a bottle of water in it.

"Your so dead today, Jonghyun."

Kibum's laugh echoed everywhere while Jonghyun ran like his life was depending on it.

"You can never catch me, Princess." Jonghyun laughed but his laughter was interrupted by him falling face first on the ground, making him buried in the white snow. Kibum ran up to him, turning him around and twisting the cap of the bottle, pouring the water all over Jonghyun's head, making him dripping wet.

"This is what you get for making the princess angry" Kibum stated, trying to catch deep breaths but ended up in a fit of laughter while Jonghyun tried to squirm his way underneath the younger boy.

"Is this the reality that you wanted?" He rolled his eyes and Kibum nodded his head.

"Nope. I expected something more." Kibum said with a smirk on his face and Jonghyun raised his eyebrows, confused at the other's behavior "Like what?".

Kibum waved his hand up in the air and looked away "You're way too simple for my expectations, Gosh." He showed fake disappointment that was soon replaced by surprise when Jonghyun grabbed his arm, pulling him closer.

"Oh really? And may I know what did you expect from me, Mr. Kim Kibum?" Even in the cold weather and the snow that was surrounding them, Jonghyun could feel the warmth of Kibum's heat and his pale skin was now having a tint of pink in it.

"N-Nothing!" Kibum muttered, trying to get out of the elder boy's grip but miserably failing.

"Well then let me try to reach your expectations," Jonghyun said, his fingers slowly leaving the grip on the other, bringing his hand closer to Kibum's flushed face and he could swear that his heart was about to jump out of its place and run away. Jonghyun carefully grabbed the back of Kibum's neck, pulling him which made him involuntarily close his eyes, knowing that the moment he always wished for, was now coming true and he had no idea why he was so nervous.

Kibum leaned down a bit and in a split second the reality vanished away. The kiss obliterated every thought. For the first time in forever, Kibum's mind was locked into the present. The worries evaporated like a hot steam. His usual mode of hurrying from one thing to the next was suspended, he had no wish for the kiss to end. In moments, the soft caress became more firm, he savored the strawberry flavored lips and the quickening of his breath that matched his own.

Jonghyun was his first kiss and at that moment when their eyes met, his heart deeply wished for Jonghyun to be the last person he ever kisses. And he knew a kiss like this was a beginning, a promise of much more to come.

-End of flashback-

Kibum stared out the bus window with a smile plastered on his face. That kiss was something which completely molded him up. It was like he entered into a world he had never seen before and never knew existed. When Jonghyun kissed him, Kibum's brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout his entire body. After that he was addicted, he couldn't bear to be without him and he could barely breathe when he was around. That kiss was his salvation and his torment. He lived for them and he would die with the memory of it on his lips. He dedicated his life to be with him from the moment of that first kiss, and he knew that if he lost him, he would lose himself. Jonghyun was the half that made Kibum the whole.

He got down, taking in a deep breath after being suffocated for half an hour on that crowded bus. The coffee was now cold as he walked down the road to his college, they were students everywhere, some with books or some chatting away with their friends. He took the last sip, making his face scrunch up due to the coldness that dominated the warmth that lingered on his tongue, making him toss his coffee in the dustbin.

"Hey, Kibum!" Kibum turned around as he heard his name and a small smile spread on his lips.

"Taemin!" Kibum waved back at the younger boy who he cherished and treated him like his own younger brother. Taemin came running towards the older boy and gave him a tight hug.

"You're hugging me as if you haven't seen me in years." Taemin chuckled, throwing his arm around the elder's shoulder. He was a one year junior of Kibum but they knew each other since they were kids and Taemin looked up to him a lot, so when Kibum took the admission in this college, it was given that Taemin had to take in it.

"So, How's your day?" Taemin asked trying to spark a conversation.

"My day just started." He knew Taemin was trying his best to start a conversation just to cheer him up because he knew what Kibum was going through at this point but the latter didn't feel like doing anything or talk to anyone. He just wanted to be in his room and do nothing. He felt empty. But this feeling, this emptiness was so mutual to him now, it felt comforting, the feeling of not doing anything, the hollowness. He knew this hollowness would be filled up with just one tap on his phone, but that hollowness would only be filled with water, one hole and everything drains away.

The thought I wish he would miss me once and the hollowness, the emptiness, the loneliness is back. It was something that would never go away, something he really can't do anything about but just go along with, because he was in love.

"You know what I mean, Hyung. Did you talk to Jonghyun?" That name caused a weird sensation for him, it sounded so familiar yet so unfamiliar, He wanted to call that name out loud, that name felt so unrealistic that he wanted to call it as much as possible.

Kibum slowly shook his head, causing Taemin to sigh. "You need to call him."

"Yeah...I don't want to." Kibum stated firmly, walking away. Taemin ran up to him and grabbed his arm, turning him around.

"But why? You need to call him and tell him everything. Just because he's busy doesn't mean he wouldn't call you and ask how you are." Taemin spat, making Kibum's gaze fall. He knew Taemin was completely right but the selfishness that was filled up in Kibum's heart said otherwise. He knew he had the complete right to call him, scream at him, be angry with him and scold him but he didn't want to. He truly wanted to know how long Jonghyun can go without him.

"Why should I call when he doesn't even reply to my text?" Kibum exclaimed, snatching his hand away from Taemin's grip and continued walking.

"Kibum wai-"

"I'm late for my lesson. See you in lunch."

Kibum's vision started to get blurry as the tears he has been holding in, was ready to spill. He didn't want to cry, He didn't want to come out to be weak. But he knew he was too late as his hands that tightly gripped his leather jacket started trembling. He knew he was about to fall off the cliff any moment now. His brain was clouded up and he just wanted to get away from all this crowd.

It's okay.

You're going to be okay.

It's fine.

You can get through this.

Kibum convinced himself as he tried to make his way through the crowd that was surrounding him. He was claustrophobic and especially at times like these, he just wanted to disappear, he felt like everyone choked him, squeezing the last breath out of him and the mix of fragrance with sweat made him nauseous. He just wanted to run away. Away from this filthy place.

He sighed in relief as he saw a washroom on his right and without thinking twice he pushed the door open, not minding about the other people he just startled as he rushed to a cabin, slamming the door behind him. His legs finally gave in as he slid down against the door and the disgusting feeling in his stomach reached his throat as he bent down, gagging his guts out as tears freely flowed down his face.

Kibum was a mess and he could do nothing but fall apart more.

He leaned back on the plastic partition that separated the two cabins and covered his face with his hands as tears freely rolled down his porcelain-like skin. His throat was burning. His heart felt like it was on fire. He wanted to snatch his heart out and flush it down the toilet just like all the toxins he just threw up, he wanted someone to cut open his heart and remove it. He wanted to stop feeling anything.

Breathing in as much as oxygen possible, he left a long breath before opening his eyes that were filled with tears, making his vision a complete blur. He pulled his sleeves down, wiping them away.

Kibum felt the weight of his phone in his pocket and he closed his eyes once again, breathing in another puff of oxygen before his trembling hand fetched out his mobile from his pocket. He held onto it as a set of new tears flowed down his already stained skin. He swiped the cold glass of his phone and Jonghyun's beautiful smile greeted him.

That smile.

He had the kind of smile that pierces through all the sadness in your life, spreading the light brighter than the sun in the darkest room. The way his ends curve up, making his eyes squint. It portrayed his soul. The soul so pure and white that even the snowflakes would retire. His smile is the type, assuring you that everything will be okay, the one that proves you that humanity still lingers somewhere in this cruel world. The innocence of that smile for which Kibum would fall over and over for. Whose smile is brighter than the stars twinkling in the midnight sky.

Kibum wanted to see that smile. He missed it. He wanted to see Jonghyun smiling at him like the way he did, pouring all the love and affection.

He choked out a sob as he taped on the messaging app, he in a breathe as he saw that name on top of all the people he texted. The name that made his heart skip a beat. He wondered how a name could emotionally affect a person this much. His heart selfishly asked for so much more. He closed his eyes once more and he knew what to expect but his heart still had that tiny hope in him.

He tapped on the name that made his fingers freeze on the screen and his eyes stared, unblinkingly. He felt all the energy drain out from his body. He felt nothing. He brought the cold gadget closer to his chest, closing his eyes. He grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled them in frustration before locking his phone and shoving it down his pocket. He got up, wiping away all the tears after unlocking the door and slamming it shut.

He walked up to the sink. His gaze focused on his reflection and he sighed, realizing how much of a mess he looked like, with his hair all ruffled up and his dark circles even darker than before and the light tint of pink on his nose and cheeks from all the crying.

He opened the tap, splashing the water on his face and patted his hair in place before stuffing his hands into his pocket. It's fine Kim Kibum. He convinced himself once again before smiling at his own reflection and walking out the door. 

 

Kibum: Good Morning! Have a great day today :) 

Read 


 

But he can't help but miss him, he feels pathetic, he's not supposed to be like this, he's not a teenager anymore to feel miserable over an ignored text so why can't he help but feel so hurt?

He wanted this harsh reality to vanish, He wanted to vanish. He knew he looked pathetic and lovesick and it was completely against his conduct, his style, his personality. He was never hopelessly romantic, in fact, love was never a thing for Kibum but Jonghyun completely changed it up for him, He changed him from head to toe. He was no longer the Kibum who he knew before. He was just like a puppy, craving for his owner's love.

-

Kibum blankly stared at the cold burger that was kept in front of him. It was his only lunch, just the smell of it made him lose his appetite and he didn't feel like leaving the campus and going outside but he was considering taking a half day and going back home because everyone around him made him feel nothing but more terrible than he already felt and he just couldn't take it anymore.

He got up from the hard cafeteria chair, throwing his bag over his shoulder, making his way through. He just wanted to go back home and just sleep this day off, he just wanted to get a long sleep so he could forget about everything.

His gaze fell on Taemin who was with his group of friends and the sudden wave of guilt washed over him, he got angry on him when he was stating facts but Taemin looked fine right now, so let him be, Kibum thought before making his way through the cafeteria doors and walking through the empty hallways.

He pulled out his headphones and plugged them in, blasting music through them. He just wanted to forget everything for a while. He walked on the same footpath he walked on a few hours ago. The same routine. The same road. He was so bored of it, he honestly wanted a change in his life. Everything made him sick to his stomach. Without another thought, he turned to his right, taking a new route. He didn't know where his home was and he knew that his home, his room would again give him the sick gloomy vibes that he didn't want to think, or feel. He wanted to go on and on until he felt numb to think, to feel.

But he knew where he was headed, he knew this whole neighborhood. Every single lane, every single route. He sighed when he spotted a familiar place, but the end of his lips curved up. It was the park. He walked towards the swings that were empty, the whole park was empty because mostly everyone was in school or work and the weather was too cold for anyone to even step outside.

Kibum placed himself on one of the swings and stamped his legs on the ground, pushing himself into a swing and closed his eyes, feeling the cold air rush by him. Suddenly, he felt something wet on his face, making him open his eyes as he blinked twice as the white flakes continued falling on him. He raised his hand and a snowflake fell on his palm.

It was the first snow.

Streetlights were misty in the light snowfall. Ice gently blanketed the sidewalks and streets. The snowflakes danced in the cold air. The snow was beautiful but it was cold. It made him cold and as much as summer makes him warm and cozy he loved winter because he missed the coldness and loneliness it provided him. Kibum missed the white blankness with the coldness, making him numb to the core.

He pulled out his mobile once again with his shivering hands and swiped, making the messages pop up since he forgot to close them.

This is it.

Kibum glared at his mobile like it was a dirty criminal, deserving to rot in jail. He honestly wanted to throw his mobile far, far away. He started typing without any second thought. In fact, he had no idea what he was typing. His mind was a blur but he didn't care. He wanted this weight on his heart to shred off. He didn't want to carry it all alone. It wasn't even his fault so why? Why did he have to feel like this?

He stopped his fingers for a while and left a deep breath.

What am I doing? He thought to himself as he rolled his eyes. He felt pathetic and dumb. This would only make him look stupid. He re-read the whole message once again as he cringed. Even though all his feelings were poured out, it looked dumb and it was of no use sending it to him. It would again get pushed away. His feelings would be pushed away and that was the last thing he ever wanted.

But the other half of him wanted to send the text, he wanted to clear all his feelings. He wanted to let go of this laden on his back. He wanted to shred off all his worries.

"YA! KIM KIBUM!" Kibum jumped out of his skin when he felt a sharp pain in his back. He turned around frantically with wide eyes and saw the same brown haired boy he saw in the morning. He rolled his eyes, placing his hand on his chest "Taemin, you scared me!" Kibum stated as Taemin came and sat beside him on the empty swing, kicking his feet and swinging high.

"What are you doing here in the cold? I was searching for you everywhere." Taemin stated and Kibum's attention focused on what he was doing and his eyes widened. He quickly unlocked his mobile and stood up in a swift, covering his mouth with his hand.

"What's wrong?" Taemin asked, worried and confused while the elder boy just stood in front of him with blood drained from his face and mouth opening and closing like a fish with no sound coming out.

Taemin snatched the mobile away from Kibum's cold fingers and looked at the screen with furrowed eyebrows but he relaxed after a couple of minutes. "And, I guess, this is sent to the correct person?" He asked and was responded by Kibum slowly nodding his head, causing Taemin to fall back on the swing with a fit of laughter "Oh God, Kibum relax. I never knew you were this poetic." He continued laughing, making Kibum give him death glares. "It's all because of you! Who told you to scare me like this?" Kibum exclaimed, making Taemin laugh more "Whatever, my lover boy."
 

Kibum: I know you're busy that you don't even have time to reply to my text but I miss you okay? and I know you don't really miss me but I just... I want you here... I want to hold you. Hug you. Kiss you. And it's been a year! We didn't even talk on the phone for 2 weeks, at least you could've called me. When I call you, you say you're busy. I don't even know how you're honestly holding up because guess what? I'm not. You totally forgot I even exist. How could you actually ignore my good morning text??!! Are you just gonna have a world tour and forget that you have a boyfriend??!! Is that how your gonna treat me Kim Jonghyun??? Ughhhh I wish I could slap you and kick you and ughhhh. STOP MESSING UP WITH MY FEELINGS JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU !

Sent
 

"Should I break up with him?" Kibum blurted out his thoughts as they walked down the road, now covered up with snow.

"Are you slowly going crazy or something?" Taemin asked, rolling his eyes at the elder boy.

"No, I mean, This is too embarrassing. Ugh, what was I even thinking?" Kibum pulled at his hair, ruffling them up. "You're acting like a teenager, Kibum." Taemin crossed his arms over his chest "I KNOW THAT!" Kibum exclaimed but left a groan and continued walking.

"I want to kill myself."

"Just shut up and keep walking, Kim Kibum."

-

They reached the intersection at last after getting lost a billion times because of the snow and traffic. Their houses were on the opposite side of each other so they had to get separated from here and Kibum honestly didn't want to because he knew he would go crazy at this point but Taemin was waiting to go home and sleep.

"Call me if you're going crazy," Taemin said, yawning.

"Yes, I am going crazy right now. Take me with you. I don't want to go back home and be alone." Kibum pleaded.

"Yeah... Not now. I want to sleep. Bye." Taemin waved and started walking towards his home, leaving the whiny Kibum behind.

Kibum sighed, contemplating what to do and honestly he was pretty tired too so the best thing he could actually do is to go back home and sleep. He took a deep cold breath, digging his hand deeper into his pockets as he started walking.

The technology is so advanced but how he wished he had the option of deleting texts that so unnecessary and just erase them from the face of this earth but life is never that easy and you have to face the consequences of your actions no matter what.

The walk to his home felt eternal. Like he was walking continuously in circles, going nowhere. He was so deep in his thoughts he didn't even realize the time until the darkness took over him, the streetlights shined upon the white snow and the sky lit so brightly with stars, brighter than usual. It was beautiful and he still wasn't ready to go back home, he wasn't ready to be indulged into his thoughts again, miss him again but he was too tired to even walk at this point.

He took a right and his house was right at the corner. His head fell low and he started walking again. Every day, for the past year, he wanted to go back home and be welcomed by the warmness of Jonghyun. He wanted to go and announce that he's home just to have Jonghyun receive him. He wanted to go back home at the thought of relaxing with him. But he knew he wouldn't be experiencing that anytime soon.

He started climbing the stairs of his apartment instead of taking the lift as he stood still in front of his door still contemplating about going inside.

Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice, so familiar that he doubted his own senses and his hand started trembling while clutching the keys in his pocket.

You're going crazy, Kibum.

He thought to himself before fetching the keys out of his pocket and as he was about to unlock the door, he stopped in his tracks.

"Kibum, I'm home."

Kibum could feel a chill run down his spine, as he turned around swiftly on his toe. His breath hitched and there he was.

The one he missed.

The one who was on his mind every day. Every second.

The one who he wanted to hug.

The one who he wanted to kiss.

The man he loved was standing right in front of him.

"J-Jonghyun?" Kibum choked out a response as tears filled up his eyes. Jonghyun took slow steps, closing the gap between and stood before him. Kibum stared deep into the brown orbs that he missed so much and they shined just as bright as always with a gloss created by his own tears. The eyes he craved so much for, were back to him, it had the same light in them.

Kibum raised his hand slowly as his trembling fingers hesitantly touched the other's face like it was the most delicate masterpiece, like a mistake and it would shatter into millions of pieces. The touch sent sparks through Kibum's body, causing his tears to freely roll down his face.

"Jonghyun..." Kibum choked out the name that he waited so long to call out.

"Yeah, Kibum?" Jonghyun placed his hand on top of Kibum's, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of his hand.

"I-I..." Kibum choked on his words, pulling the elder boy into a hug as he felt two hands wrap around his neck.

"I missed you too, Kibum." Jonghyun left a chuckle as he snuggled his face deeper into Kibum's neck, taking in a deep whiff of Kibum's fragrance. "I missed you so, so much." A sob left Kibum's lips, making Jonghyun smile and he felt complete, he was complete, he was back home.

-

"I can't believe you could surprise me like this," Kibum stated as he handed a hot coffee mug to Jonghyun who was completely cuddled up in blankets. "And I can't believe you changed your door's lock. I was standing outside in cold for nearly 2 hours." Jonghyun said, shivering that made Kibum chuckle. "You deserved it though".

Jonghyun opened up his blanket and patted it on the sofa next to him, offering it to Kibum, which he gladly accepted, placing himself next to Jonghyun and resting his head on the other's shoulder, closing his eyes and wanting this moment to stop forever.

"By the way..." Jonghyun started, making Kibum raise his head and face towards the other. "I didn't know you missed me that much." Kibum felt his heart skip a beat and all the blood rushed up to his face, making it red. "Y-You read it?" Kibum stuttered and Jonghyun nodded, making the other wanting to dig up his own grave. "Then..." Kibum trailed off as his gaze fell on the floor "Why did you ignore my texts?" His fingers wrapped around the warm mug unable to face the other because he knew he was overly sensitive the past few days but he couldn't help it. "I swear I didn't mean to... I didn't have wifi on the plane and when I reached here... My battery died." He quickly removed his cell phone, handing it to Kibum as a proof. "That's why I didn't reply."

Jonghyun placed his finger underneath Kibum's chin, raising his head up so he could look at the other's dark hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kibum" Kibum waved his hand, disapproving it and smiled "Don't be. I was just overthinking stuff. I'm sorry... I swear the message was sent by mistake- like I didn't want to send it... like- I don't know what I was thinking honestly.  Really. I-" He was stopped in between by Jonghyun, who placed his finger on Kibum's bow shaped lips.

"I love you, Kibum." Jonghyun blurted out, making Kibum's face more blushed than it already was. He snuggled his face into Jonghyun's chest, making him giggle "Forget it. You're too boring for my expectations." Jonghyun teased and Kibum looked at him with a raised eyebrows. "Oh really, now?" Kibum smirked and Jonghyun rolled his eyes, faking a huff.

"Well, then let me try to reach your expectations." Kibum slowly placed his hand underneath Jonghyun's face and pulled him, closing the gap between them. He stared deep into his brown eyes and cupped his cheek that was slowly turning red. Kibum smiled before finally leaning into him. He kissed him and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. Kibum's hand rested below Jonghyun's ear, his thumb caressing his red cheek as their breaths mingled. Jonghyun placed his hand behind Kibum's neck, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and he could feel the beating of the other's heart against his own.

Kibum broke the kiss and their foreheads met, where he drew in long breaths and finally muttered the words that he was waiting to say for a year.

"I love you too, Jonghyun." He again gave him a small peck on his lips, making Jonghyun's blood rush up to his face "I love you so, so much, Kim Jonghyun."

Jonghyun giggled, wrapping his arms around Kibum's neck and snuggled his head into the other's neck.

"I love you way more than you know, Princess."