It’s not like Irene to get stage fright, well, not anymore anyways. Red Velvet’s first year, however, was an entirely different story. Irene used to feel her palms sweat and her lips quake with every syllable she spoke, rehearsing scripted lines she’d memorized to huge crowds after performances or acting as MC for award shows. She often spoke softly, not because she was calm, but because she was afraid if she spoke any louder, her voice would give out altogether. There were nights where she couldn’t sleep, alone in her room and racked with the fear of the next day’s schedule, where she would have to speak in front of people and be the leader she longed to be but could never quite be like.

There was a time when Irene’s stage fright got to the point where she would wake up the next morning and Seulgi would be there, holding Irene in her long arms, for nearly a month straight. Seulgi would always slip into her bedroom and comfort her whenever she was feeling down, and would always stay until the older girl fell asleep – often falling asleep herself. Irene never figured out how Seulgi knew she was hurting. The older girl always made sure to muffle the sounds of her crying with her pillow, and she did a decent enough job of hiding her true emotions around the other girls that they never picked up on how nervous she always was whenever they stepped on stage.

But then again, with Seulgi, it had always been different. Seulgi paid more attention to Irene than any other member of Red Velvet. Truthfully, she was Irene’s anchor to the real world. The pair had grown up together in the fast-paced environment of trainee days, where you weren’t sure if you’d be seeing the person you had lunch with the next day at practice, and when you would get picked up at ungodly hours of night by your parents after rehearsals. It was more than nice to have someone in Red Velvet who she had connected with so deeply in the past. She had met Seulgi at dance lessons one day, and her eyes kept straying from studying her own reflection to watch the other girl.

 Seulgi was not only beautiful, but she was a captivating dancer. Irene saw that the girl had a raw talent difficult to find in most trainees. Irene had been the most promising dancer in her group, but she wasn’t sure how long she could brag about that with the new girl rising quickly through the ranks. Seulgi seemed to have just as much passion and drive as Irene did to perfect the choreography. Irene could see it in her eyes, how hard Seulgi was willing to work until she achieved perfection. Whenever they were allowed their break, Irene and the other trainees would gather around their backpacks, chugging down their drinks and chatting with each other politely. Seulgi, on the other hand, would swipe her Gatorade from her bag and then talk with the choreographer quietly until he called the rest of the girls back to the dance floor.

 Often, Irene would come into class an hour early to an empty room, beginning her practicing before anyone else was there. She would do the same after everyone had left, telling the choreographer to keep the lights on, on his way out with a grin. She enjoyed the privacy of it all. No matter how hard she tried, in her early years, she always seemed to stumble on something if there was someone watching her perform. It was easier when it was just her and her reflection and the music, where she didn’t have to worry about another person walking in on her. A day or two after Seulgi had joined Irene’s class, Irene walked into their practice room, early as usual, expecting the lights to be off and the space to be empty, only to find Seulgi underneath the harsh lights, blasting music and practicing by herself.

Irene would be lying if she said Seulgi wasn’t attractive from her facial features alone, though it initially was the reason why the girl had caught Irene’s eye. Seulgi had an elegant grace to all her movements, something Irene wished she had. Irene's talent only took her so far, she had to work long hours in order to be as smooth as she yearned to be. There was also something so genuine about the other girl that shocked Irene. Many trainees pandered to each other needlessly, flashing fake smiles at each other and pretending to be friends while gossiping behind their backs. It’s what made Irene so wary of making new friends. But she’d never seen Seulgi be anything but extremely humble and kind, and even though she’d only been in show business for a short amount of time, Irene could tell who was worth being friends with.

Irene let the door click shut after her, and leaned against the wall, watching the girl perfect one of the many moves the choreographer had been teaching them with quiet appreciation. Irene can still recall the song to this day, Rihanna’s Disturbia was blasti