It hurt. The seering pain of Minghao's back aches, but he always puts on a smile. A smile for everyone to see, a smile so that everyone around him will worry less. Minghao always thrived on his own, he never once complained and will never do. He'll endure the pain as long as he can. He was excused from other group activities, but he didn't want to cause any problems for the group. Every time that he rests, he makes sure there's an improvement on his back. He makes sure that he is getting better,it pains him more if people around him worry. Going through interviews, live shows and award shows, it was hectic as it is, yet he pushes himself further. 

Minghao looks through the window in his shared bedroom in the dorm. The leaves from trees are nowhere to be seen, his ears wiggle at the thought of the crisp sound of the said leaves, making contact with shoes. He could almost see his breath and the weather, as cloudless as it seemed, it got colder. He winced at the sharp pain of his back. Colder temperature is never forgiving to his injury. He tries to ease the pain by lying on his own bed. He was in room arrest, the members thought it will help him heal faster if he just lazed around the whole day. 

It was already night time, Minghao's ear twitched as the door opened. Finally, someone he can talk to. He's been alone the whole day, bedridden and bored. He looked up to see who entered, only to find his ears going red as the site of Choi Seungcheol enters the room. Minghao immediately buries his face to his pillow, he is the last person he wanted to see right now.

His relationship with Seuncheol was complicated.... to say the least.

He didn't know when he started to be conscious around him, but he knew perfectly well how everything lead to his heart thumping so loudly whenever he was around. Minghao didn't want him to see how weak he was, he just didn't want him to worry. Minghao wants to look his best in front of his precious hyung but right now, he wants to hide in plain sight. 

"How are you feeling?" Seungcheol's voice made him shiver, curling  his toes in the process. 

"I'm doing great." Minghao lied. Face still stuck to his pillow, he had hoped that Seungcheol would leave as soon as possible.

Seungcheol could feel the struggle in Minghao's voice. 

"I thought you might be lonely, so I came here to accompany you." 

"If you guys just let me move around the dorm then I might not be lonely anymore." There it is, Minghao's sharp way of talking.

Then, silence. Neither one of them were angry, just one wanting to care for and the other wanting to hide. Seungcheol felt a bit apologetic, as a leader he couldn't help his injured member that much, rather than giving encouraging words, the typical medicinal aid and the like. But as a man, Seungcheol wants to make up for it.

"You've been so distant to me lately." Seungcheol finally opened up the topic.

"Well, I'm injured so..."

"No, you've been distant to me emotionally. When I look into your eyes, I feel like you're avoiding me."

"......." Minghao followed, "I'm not." He could feel his heart withering inside his chest, the pain from his back then moved to his chest. 

"Liar." Seungcheol only said one word but it made Minghao's own heartbeat uneven. Minghao's mouth was drying up and his palms were sweating. How can this person make him so nervous, it is certainly not good for his heart and his condition. Seungcheol was sitted on the floor, facing him but all he could do was stay quiet and pray to the gods that he disappears once the clock strikes the next minute.

Those few minutes of silence felt like hours. A never ending travel with a pair of eyes observing every move he made. But Minghao didn't know what was coming over him, it might be the constant pain he was experiencing or the loneliness of being bedridden as he asks, "What are we, hyung?"

"Us? We're family, we're friends." Seungcheol answers.

"Friends don't kiss each other on the lips secretly behind the curtains of broadcasting shows, hyung." The words that left his lips felt like painful thorns. "Friends don't constantly flirt with each other. Friends don't hold hands under the table and friends don't-"

"Don't what?" Seungcheol finally found his voice again.

This time Minghao felt brave. He finally moved his face away from his pillow to meet Seungcheol's eyes and says, "They don't look at each other the way you look at me." And as if the last thorn was finally pulled out from his chest, Minghao felt a soft trickle run down his cheek, he was crying.

As the sight of Minghao's tears flowing, he could feel his walls crumbling down to the ground. Seungcheol immediately closed the gap they had and placed a soft yet meaningful kiss on Minghao's lips. It was the first time he ever saw him like this, so vulnerable, so weak and so beautiful. Of course, Seungcheol knew how attractive Minghao was from the get-go, it was just something new for him to see.

"Stop that." Minghao looked hurt.

"Stop what?"

"Stop making it seem that everything will be okay, when it's not." Minghao replied, buring his face on his pillow once again.

"Everything will be okay." Seungcheol reassured.

"You didn't even answer my question." 

It was for a minute that Minghao couldn't hear anything. His ears were blatantly beet red and his feelings were already on edge, his chest was about to burst. He suddenly felt his shirt rise up, his back was exposed. He was about to react when his body froze from a pair of soft lips making contact with his hot skin. His throat felt like it was being grasped, Minghao aimlessly tried to find his voice but every time Seungcheol's lips hover over his skin, he couldn't say anything. Seungcheol continued to pepper kisses on to his back. Gentle yet firm, soft and warm, it tickled a bit but somehow it made his tense body relax. His knees turned weak and his face slowly darkened with a tinge of red on his cheeks.

Seungcheol treated him like delicate porcelain. Slowly flipping him over so that their eyes could finally meet. Glazed eyes, messy hair, damp skin even when the weather is extremely cold. Seungcheol could only do one thing and that was to kiss Xu Minghao.

"Sorry." Seungcheol croaked. "As the leader of our group, I thought it would be best to not put a label between us. I thought that putting our work first would help us, but the more I look at you, the more I feel scared of losing you. Sorry."

"Hyung..." Minghao could only sigh at one word.

"Hurry up and get better, so I could really show you how I care for you." Seungcheol gave a gummy smile, his bang all over his face, he dove back in, his body hovering over Minghao's delicately, careful not to put any weight on him. Seungcheol continued to pepper him kisses in the cold night.