Time and Tide

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Story Title: (5/5)

Time and Tide, I quite like this title. The thing I particularly like about it, is how it encapsulates the general idea of your story without giving away any actual information on the plot. For me, your title is the perfect example of what I think an ideal title should look like. The alliteration used also gives it that extra nudge, good job!

Description and Foreword:(10/10)

There’s not much to pick on in this section. I think the poster and the background matches your story well, and your description was structured in a way that was easy to understand. Overall, I found it aesthetically pleasing, and the content of your description had a nice hook to it as well.

Characterization:(18/20)

I found your characters quite interesting, considering how half the cast aren’t even alive. It was quite a fresh thing for me, the idea of a phantom crew, but that’s probably just because of my lack of interest and knowledge in the world of pirate au. Nevertheless, the idea of a phantom crew made these background characters more fascinating for me than if they were normal human beings.

In terms of your main characters, I feel as if they did not have blaring, distinct personalities that screamed out to the reader. However, I am not saying that this is a bad thing at all, and I will like to explain in the paragraphs below why I feel this way:

Baekhyun:

For me, he is a character that cannot be read at surface value. He has a personality, but this personality is so swallowed up by his ambitions and lifestyle that you could only catch glimpses of it in his most vulnerable moments. At first glance, he appeared as a dominant, cold-hearted legend. He is the ‘Lord of the Seas’ that haunted the oceans, and a feared criminal that killed at his will and enjoyed the suffering of others. However, this sort of feared persona for me is only a façade that Baekhyun had put up for survival; only by claiming his power to the world could he achieve his goals.

Then, there’s another sort of madness in him. One that I think was born out of his pursuit of Vida. His conversation with the fortune teller, and his stubborn mind-set to search for the jewel all shows signs of the craziness within him. After all, how many logically minded people would give up their lives just to search for a jewel that might not even exist?

However, I believe that deep down, Baekhyun is not as strong as he makes himself to be. His overwhelming presence, everything, (as I have mentioned before) is just a mask he wears. For me, I saw an insecure little boy with a heart that longed for love and warmth. From the way he kept a locket of his parent’s photos, from the way he would grow anxious when his brother disappears and from the way he dreamt about Haera leaving him, I felt they were signs of his weakness and loneliness. Therefore, in order to grasp back the love he desired for, he began his journey on the seas and embarked on the life that he led now.

The reason why his character did not jump out to me, was precisely because of the complexity of his personality. He does not seem to possess one in my eyes, or perhaps he does, but with layers and layers of façade and ambitions born from his insecurities devouring him, I could barely see who he really is.

Baekbeom:

Right now, he seemed like a man (or ghost) who is much more level-headed and sensible than his brother. However, not much is portrayed about him so far so I am not sure if there is more to him than what meets the eye. His character is still a little vague, but I’m sure that with future chapters, he will reveal himself more.

With all that said above, I hope you now understand what I mean by their characters not being very distinctive or strong. This is not a bad thing in your case, since it is not due to your characters being overly simple and bland, but due to them being overly complex. However, in the future chapters, perhaps it will be good to bring a resolution to their characters, especially Baekhyun’s. Or perhaps you may choose not to, and leave him like the wrecked mess he is now, that’s up to you. Personally, I would prefer to draw a conclusion to each character, to really make a strong statement on their personalities and give them stronger impressions.

Anyway, I somehow went crazy and did a full-on analysis on your characters, but the above mentioned are merely my own observations. I am very interested to see if my perception was right, so do let me know what you think about it. Feel free to correct me however if I had gone too far off the rail, I am more than willing to hear what you really had in mind for each character.

Plot and consistency:(32/40)

Overall, you have a nice, solid plot that flows at a consistent pace. Though plot-wise, I cannot say that it is the most original or mind-blowing story I’ve ever read, but there were no holes and loops in your story that made it confusing or inconsistent, good job!

Grammar and Writing style:(20/20)

Your English is very fluent, and there were no obvious mistakes when I read through your story. Clearly, you know your English well, so I don’t think there’s much more I can comment on for this section.

Your writing style is rather nice, it flows well and there were good usage of descriptions and emotions. I know you asked me to review this section in more detail but I honestly think there’s not a lot suggestions I can give you here. Keep doing what you’re doing now, good job!

Reviewer's enjoyment:(3/5)

It was a rather nice read, but since this genre is not something I’m usually interested in, I was not able to enjoy it as much as I had liked to. Nevertheless, this story is clearly very well-written, so just keep doing what you’re doing right now. Good luck!

Total: 88/100

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