Jinyoung doesn't know when it all started. When does Lee Daehwi, the cute boy from Los Angles, a transfer student in their school made his cold heart flutters every time they talk, every time the younger smiles at him? He doesn't remember when does the younger started living in his heart. He doesn't like skinship, but if it’s Daehwi being clingy with him—it's fine. When the younger does not cling to him within the day, he will be worried and will start asking himself "I did nothing wrong, right?” He couldn’t help but feel the jealousy rise up within him when he saw Daehwi being clingy with his best friend Park Jihoon, even though he knows that his best friend has a crush on Daehwi's older cousin Park Woojin.

But then he remembers that this is Lee Daehwi he’s talking about. The boy who brought colors to Bae Jinyoung's life, the cold hearted boy of their batch. The one who made him smile, a kind of smile that not even his family could bring out. It's Lee Daehwi. The boy who makes everything looks so easy even though it's hard. It's Lee Daehwi, the boy who lives in his heart. It's Lee Daehwi, the boy he wants to be with for the rest of his life.

                                                                                                                                                    -

"Lee Daehwi, c-can we talk?" Jinyoung asks.

 

"Sure, Jinyoung-hyung, what is it all about?" The younger replies. “Is there anything wrong?”

 

"N-nothin, b-but can we talk outside, like, at the rooftop?"

 

Daehwi looks confused but then, agrees. The two went up; and when they got there, Jinyoung’s feels like he’s going crazy from the way his heartbeat is beating so fast. He's nervous.

 

"Hey hyung!" Daehwi snaps a finger in front of Jinyoung’s face.

 

"Sorry" the older says, feeling a slight flush reach his face.

 

"Okay, now spill, what did you want to talk about?"

 

This is it! Jinyoung needs to tell Daehwi what he wants to say as soon as possible. There are so many students here who have a crush on Daehwi, but the younger doesn't know about that because he's so friendly, but Jinyoung cares and—he knows. And he doesn't like that; he wants Daehwi's attention only for himself. Call him selfish but if you were him, it’d be the same.

Jinyoung sighs then says, "Canyoubemyboyfriend?"

 

"What?" Daehwi’s eyebrows meet in confusion.  He asks, confused because he doesn't get it.

 

Jinyoung sighs so loudly and starts shaking his hand. It’s a mannerism of the older whenever he’s nervous. And with that action, it makes Daehwi more confused. Jinyoung looked at the Daehwi’s eyes and held both of Daehwi’s hands.

 

"Can you be my boyfriend?" And this time, Jinyoung makes sure to sa y it slowly.

 

"What?" Daehwi asks again, but this time he's smiling.

 

He sees how Jinyoung's ears turn red and the older bites on his lips because he's nervous. Jinyoung once again sighs.

"Lee Daehwi, can you be my boyfriend?" This time Jinyoung lightly squishes Daehwi's hands.

 

Daehwi can’t help it but smile widely..

 

"Finally!" Daehwi says and intertwines their fingers together.

 

"It took you a year and half, -hyung. I thought that you’d never ask me," Daehwi says with a smile.

 

Jinyoung is confused. What?

 

"Hyung, I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that. Honestly, I wanted to ask you to be my boyfriend since last year when we are just juniors. But when I told Woojin--hyung and Jihoon--hyung about my plan, they both said that I shouldn’t be the one to confess, so I waited for you to confess," Daehwi explains with a pout..

 

"What the hell?" That is all Jinyoung can say.

 

"Anyway, forget about that," the younger stops, looking into the older's eyes and smiles. "I'm so happy that you are finally mine, Bae Jinyoung. I love you.”

 

As Jinyoung's cheeks turn red, Daehwi laughs.

 

"You're blushing" he teases the older.

 

"I-I'm not," Jinyoung tries to avert his gazr from Daehwi’s gaze.

 

Daehwi holds both of Jinyoung's cheeks in his hands, and let their eyes meet.

 

"So cute, Jinyoung-hyung,” Daehwi comments.

 

Jinyoung gulps. He saees how red Daehwi's lips are and he swallows the lump that has been forming in his throat.

 

"D-Daehwi, you better let go off me or else—"

 

"Or else what Jinyoung-hyung?" Daehwi asks, looking at his hyung's eyes which are still fixated on his lips.

 

Jinyoung his own lips before looking into Daehwi's eyes.

 

"C-can I kiss you?" Jinyoung asks. The younger smiles and with that, he sees how the younger goes on his tiptoes and then, he feels those soft lips on his.

 

It's so innocent, their first kiss. Just a peck, but when Daehwi let go of their kiss he asked.

 

"Can I kiss you?" this time it's Jinyoung's turn to lean down on Daehwi's lips.

 

And it's a soft yet passionate kiss. Daehwi puts his arms around Jinyoung's neck while Jinyoung's hands are on Daehwi's waist. It’s so slow because they don't know what are they doing. The lack of experience at the both sides give them a hard time to what should they do. But after a minute or so, Jinyoung is now guiding Daehwi's lips on him, taking the lead at their kiss.

 

When the both of them can no longer breathe properly, they let go and put their foreheads together, and they look into each other's eyes and smile.

 

"I love you, Lee Daehwi,” Jinyoung says.

 

"I love you more, Jinyoung-hyung" Daehwi smiles back at him.

 

"Nope. I love you more and the most ," Jinyoung says and Daehwi just giggles.

                                                                                                                                                           -

Tears fall from Jinyoung's eyes.

"I miss you so much, Daehwi,” he says.

It was a happy memory but thinking about this now, breaks his heart. He misses his life, he misses Daehwi. If only he can see the boy. But he knows he can't and it breaks his heart. Not seeing Daehwi for 2 years breaks his heart.

And he suddenly remembers what happened 2 years ago.

                                                                                                                                                    ***

It’s the day of their first anniversary and everything was already planned. They have already graduated from college. Daehwi is currently taking care of his dream cafe business, in which he will bake the cakes (he loved baking ever since he was a child) and Jinyoung who currently works in his parents’ company. He’s currently training to become the next CEO of their company by staying at his father side whenever there’s a meeting with the investors and the directors of the company. He wanted to learn every details from his father. So his father suggested that he should be with him every time. Jinyoung found it exciting, talking to other people and closing the deal afterwards. It will help his future life—it will help his and Daehwi’s future together.  Everyone is doing well and it's the best day to do this. One year is enough for Jinyoung to know that Daehwi is the one who he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

He talked to Daehwi's parents and of course, they agreed. They know how much their son loves Jinyoung. And Jinyoung's parents are happy that their son will finally have the man that he loves.

"Park Woojin, you idiot! Where are you and Daehwi?" His best friend, Park Jihoon shouts into his phone, talking to his boyfriend who is Daehwi's cousin.

"Just come quickly! If you don't come here within 10 minutes, I'm breaking up with you!" With that, Jihoon ends the call.

"Wow! Jihoon, you are more nervous than I am." Jinyoung says to his best friend who's currently fixing the table in the secret garden where Daehwi and Jinyoung first went when they became official.

"I'm not nervous! It's just that I can't wait for Daehwi's reaction when he sees this," Jihoon then smiles.

"Me too, Jihoon."

"You're going to finally spend your life with the love of your life and I'm so proud. I suddenly remember how you used to stare at him whenever he's singing during music class."

Jinyoung takes the chance to cut him off, to too: "Hey, you also stared at Woojin-hyung every time it was dance class!”

Jihoon just rolls his eyes. "Whatever Bae Jinyoung! Let's not talk about me and Woojin for God sake! It’s you and Daehwi’s day today." Jihoon pats Jinyoung's shoulder and smiles as he continues,"I'm so happy for you, really."

"I'm happy too,” Jinyoung says. Jihoon and Woojin really take a big part of his and Daehwi’s life.

'Answer the call, Park Jihoon, you idiot. It's me, your handsome boyfriend calling… Answer the call, Park Jihoon, you idiot. It's me, your handsome boyfriend ca — '

Yes, that is Jihoon's ringtone.

"What the—you haven't changed your ringtone yet? You are so whipped!" Jinyoung teasesd his best friend. For the n th time, Jihoon rolls his eyes before answering the call

"WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU?!" Jihoon shouts.

You see, even it's a secret garden, they are inside a small abandoned house with no door at the end of the garden. This spot was discovered by Daehwi, they tend to tease Daehwi, Daehwi the Explorer because that kid really loves to explore different places. Jinyoung looks at the frame on the table in where it was the first time he and Daehwi took a picture together ever since they got today. He makes the notion to grab the frame, but it slips before he can take hold of it and the glass of the frame shatters into pieces.

He’s about to pick up the glass shards when suddenly he hears Jihoon shouting.

"! Jinyoung, come on!" He gets dragged by Jihoon, as the older pulls them both over to his car.

"Where's the key, Jinyoung? Where are your car keys?" Jihoon says while running.

"What is happening?" Jinyoung asks.

"Just give me the key!" Jinyoung is confused but still handed his car keys over.

"Jihoon! What in the world is happening? Where are we going! Daehwi might come—-"

"Just sit in the passenger seat Jinyoung. We have have no time.”

Again, Jinyoung follows his best friend’s order even though he’s still confused. But Jihoon starts driving even without putting hisseatbelt on, and Jinyoung starts to feel the worry overwhelm him.

"Where are we going Jihoon? I told you if Daehwi comes and I'm not there—"

"Daehwi—" Jinyoung can feel his heartbeat going crazy with just one word. "He's in the hospital, he's in critical condition."

And with those words, Jinyoung can feel his world coming to a stop for a second. He doesn't speak up. He tries to convince himself, "No! It's not true!”

“Stop joking around Jihoon, it’s not funny!”

“I wish I'm just joking Jinyoung but I'm not,” Jihoon murmurs and continues to drive.

But his phone rings and the name 'My life' flashes on the screen. Jinyoung immediately answers it, hoping that it's Daehwi's voice who will welcome him and will say that it's just a joke but no , it's Woojin's voice that welcomes him.

"Jinyoung, where are you?" the older asks.

"W-we are a-almost there,” Jinyoung replies.

"Don't worry too much Jinyoung. The doctor said Daehwi is fine now. Just take care while coming here and I will tell you what exactly happened, okay?" With that, Woojin ends the call.

Jinyoung's crying already and he can’t stop the tears from coming out. Jihoon puts his hand on the younger's shoulder.

"It’s okay, Jinyoung, he will be fine."

Several minutes later, they arrive at the hospital. Jinyoung runs off as soon Jihoon stops the car in front of the emergency room.

"Lee Daehwi! Where's Lee Daehwi's room?" he asks, almost shouting at the nurse.

The nurse immediately checks for the name and says,"He's currently at the CT scan room, just walk straight then turn left—"

Jinyoung don't have enough time to say thank you. He runs in the direction that the nurse told him and when he sees Woojin sitting in one of the hospital chairs, he loses his balance and falls to the ground.

Woojin notices it and helps Jinyoung to stand up and pulls him over to sit at the chair next to his.

"Jinyoung, don't stress out yourself. Daehwi will be okay." Woojin says.

"W-what happened to him?" Jinyoung asks.

He heard Woojin sigh, but before the older can start the story, the doctor comes out from the CT Scan Room.

"Mr. Park Woojin?" The doctor asks the two men in front of him.

"It's me," Woojin says.

"I'm Doctor Ong, I'm the doctor assigned to your cousin. I want to tell you that he’s okay now,” Woojin sighs in relief, but then the doctor continues. “But I'm sad to say but he will not be able to wake up for days or week, or worst, for months or years." He pauses for a moment, as if giving them time to comprehend the events. “We should go to my office so that I can tell you more." He says.

Then, he turns to look at the other boy who is already spacing out.

"And, you are?" the doctor asks.

"I-I'm Bae Jinyoung," Jinyoung adds, "his fiance " even though they aren’t engaged yet .

"O-oh. Then you must come with us," the doctor leads the way to his office.

Before they enter the doctor’s office, Jihoon grabs Woojin's arm from out of nowhere.

"I'm here! How's Daehwi?" Jihoon asks.

"Can he come along too? He's a very close friend of Daehwi’s" Woojin asks the doctor and the doctor smiles and nods.

“Mr. Lee Daehwi seems to be very friendly person, huh” the doctor muses and guides the three men to his office.

When they are inside Doctor Ong's office, they are seated and the doctor doesn't waste any time and opens the light board in his desk. He puts the film in, and it shows a skull and the brain.

"His skull was damaged, based on the CT scan," he then encircles the small damage at the film.

"The impact of his fall isn’t good because if it’s mild, his skull will not be affected."

The three boys are still looking at the film. They already have an idea but no one dares to speak up. Because maybe their ideas aren’t right or that they wish their ideas are wrong.

"The skull protects our brain, and once the skull receives damage, it will affect our brain." He pauses for a moment, "Okay, listen to me very carefully."

He looks at the three men in front of him, which prompts them to meet his eyes.

"There are so many types of head injury. But from what I can see, Mr. Lee Daehwi's head injuris a concussion and his brain bounced against the hard wall of his skull, maybe when his head hit the floor. But with a concussion, it causes the skull to lose its original functionality, and thus, it could be temporary damage but it can also be permanent damage," the doctor turns off the light of the light board.

The three men don’t speak up. No one dares to until someone knocks on the door.

"Excuse me, Doctor Ong, the patient Lee Daehwi can now be transferred to his private room," the nurse says..

“Thank you,” the doctor smiles. After the nurse closes the door, he turns to the three of them, and says, “Let's go.”

When everything was settled, Woojin and Jihoon look at each other and nod.

"Jinyoung, we’ll take a look at Daehwi's bill okay?"

But they don’t receive an answer from Jinyoung, who’s sitting in one of the hospital chairs beside the unconscious Daehwi at his side, holding his right hand.

The two just head out of the room, and they sigh when they close the door behind them.

"It must be really hard for Jinyoung," Jihoon says.

"I'm just Daehwi's cousin but look how it affects me, even you. You’re just a friend but it affected you, big time. What more to Jinyoung—Daehwi's life is Jinyoung’s and Jinyoung’s life is Daehwi"

"It was supposed to be a good day for the both of them,” Jihoon says. Woojin grabs his boyfriend's hands and looks at him.

"Daehwi will fight on. That kid is a fighter, right? We should be positive and just pray to God," Woojin smiles and kisses Jihoon's forehead. With that, the two lovers went off to the registrar to ask about Daehwi's bill.

~

"What happened to you?" he asks but there’s no response.

"Why?" he asks once again, but there’s still no response.

"Lee Daehwi, why?" he asks again and tears are flowing down his cheeks, still holding into his lover's hand and he squishes it slowly.

"Wake up, Daehwi," he says, looking at the boy who's laying in bed with a bandage around his head.

"Wake up love. Please wake up" he says, and the tears are still rolling off his cheeks.

"I'll wait for you to wake up. But for now, I'll let you rest." he stops. Jinyoung kisses Daehwi's right hand, the one that he’s been holding.

"I'll wait for you Daehwi, don't forget that," he then says and lets go of Daehwi's hand.

After letting go of Daehwi's hand, he wipes away his tears. Suddenly, the door opens and reveals the two other lovers. Jinyoung looks at them.

"Woojin hyung, it's time for you to tell the whole story. What in the world happened?" Jinyoung asks. That Jinyoung is back. That cold voice.

Woojin sighs and nods. Jinyoung stands up and goes to the mini living room of Daehwi's private room. The two lovers are seated at the lover’s sofa while Jinyoung is seated at the solo sofa beside them.

"Earlier, when Jihoon called me and asking where we are, we were already near at the secret garden," Woojin starts.

"He said he'll wait at the gate and I should park the car alone because he's excited to see you. You know, your boyfriend Jinyoung he's still like a child and what he want is what he gets. I don't want him to wait for me there because what if he went inside and the surprise will be ruined, but then I was left with no choice,” He pauses. "He said he will wait for me at the gate and he will not enter unless he’s with me and so I agreed.”

"Then this accident happened,” Jinyoung’s right hand clenches into a fist. He’s ready to know exactly what happened.

"I was walking to the gate from the parking when a car almost hit Daehwi but he managed to avoid it and he fell but his head hit the big rock in front of the gate. I think there’s still blood on it. I immediately called the emergency hotline and some people who walked passed by called the police. Luckily, some of the witness remembered the plate number of the car. I got a call from the police earlier saying that the driver was drunk.”

"We must sue that man who was driving!" Jihoon says.

"Yes, we will. He’s currently at the police station. If he didn’t drive that carelessly, Daehwi wouldn’t have had to avoid his car, and hit his head," Woojin says.

Jinyoung hasn’t said a single word after hearing the story, but instead he looks at the bed and silently talks to the boy who's lying there. He’s speechless; he doesn’t know what to do after hearing those words. Imagining Daehwi’s head covered with blood gave him goosebumps.

"J-just get well soon love, I'll wait for you"

~

After a month, Daehwi still hasn’t woken up yet. His mom came straight to Korea once Woojin called her, and of course, Jinyoung’s parents also came to support their son.

It has already been a month and Jinyoung’s still looking at the ring, the ring that he wanted give to Daehwi that day—the ring that symbolizes their forever, the ring that Daehwi should be wearing right now, but isn’t.

"Jinyoung-ah, I need to go home," his mother says.

"Okay mom, I'll send you off," Jinyoung replies.

"I'll be back, " he whispers and kisses Daehwi's forehead before leaving the room with his mother.

While walking, Jinyoung's mother asks his son.

"What are you going to do, son?" she pauses but they still continue walking.

"About what?" Jinyoung asks.

"I don't want think negatively, but what if Daehwi doesn’t remember you? You know the doctor said that there's a chance that Daehwi might have amnesia."

Jinyoung doesn't answer that question, even until his mother bids him a goodbye. He almost forgot about the possibilities like those that may appear once Daehwi wakes up. What if he doesn't remember him?

"Even if that happens, it’s okay to me. He just needs to wake up as soon as possible. And if he doesn't remember me then I will do everything to make sure he will remember me once again,” Jinyoung thinks.

When he goes back to the room, he sits down at his usual spot, at Daehwi's side and holds onto his lover's right hand, and squishes it lightly.

"When will you wake up?" He asks, even though he knows that he isn’t going to get an answer.

"I miss you so much,” Jinyoung continues, and there is still no answer.

"I miss your voice.”

...

"I miss the way you cling onto me.”

...

“I miss how you scold me because I'm wearing the bucket hat that you hate so much.”

…

"I miss your I love yous. "

...

"I miss the way you sing for me."

...

"I miss wearing our couple shirts, shoes and beanies."

...

"I miss your kisses."

He wants to kiss the younger but he can't.

....

"I miss your hugs.”

He wants to hug the younger but he can't.

...

"Daehwi, please wake up,” Jinyoung whispers, and tears are flowing down in his cheeks.

After saying those words Jinyoung falls asleep, and both his hands are in Daehwi's right hand.

He feels something moving against his hands, he wakes up and when he looks at Daehwi's face, his eyes widen. Daehwi is awake!

"Daehwi, can you hear me?" Jinyoug asks, rising from his chair.

" W-Who are you? Where am I?" Daehwi looks at him, confused.

"Daehwi, hey it's me Jinyoung, " As soon as Jinyoung says that, Daewhi reached out for the sides of his head and starts to shout in pain.

"Daehwi— wait, I'll call the doctor," Jinyoung then runs off.

After calling the doctor and waiting for about 2 hours, Doctor Ong was finally done examining Daehwi and left his room. There are 3 men waiting for Jinyoung outside Daehwi's room.

"How is he?" Jinyoung asks.

The doctors don’t smile, and they say, "I'm going to tell you straight to the point: Daehwi is not okay."

Woojin and Jihoon looks at their friend. The two boys have been with Jinyoung the whole time. Jinyoung's eyes widen but he’s also confused.

"What do you mean that he’s not okay? Isn’t he awake now? Doesn’t that mean that he’s okay? " Jinyoung questions.

"Remember what I said to you about the possibilities once Daehwi wakes up from his coma?" Doctor Ong asks.

It hits Jinyoung and the other two boys like a bullet.

"Y-you mean the amnesia thing?" Woojin asks and the doctor nods.

"Yes, Daehwi is now experiencing a past amnesia ,” He pauses for a moment before continuing his explanation. "Past amnesia is where the patient forget whos and whats happened before the accident happened.

I ran some tests earlier. I asked him if he remembered Woojin and Jihoon, and he was blank at first but then he answered that he doesn't remember both of you. As for you, Jinyoung, it's different.”

Jinyoung hopes that Daehwi remember him. It’s different , the doctor said.

"Jinyoung, I asked him if he remember you and after hearing your name, he held his head and started shouting because of pain. "

And there it is. It’s different, it's the worst kind of different.

But Jinyoung doesn't want to believe that so he run towards Daehwi's room. He opens the door to see Daehwi sitting on the bed, but as soon their eyes met Daehwi holds his head and starts screaming all over again.

", it hurts!" Daehwi shouts and closes his eyes.

Jinyoung's heart breaks into pieces. But he still wants to take the risk and he goes over to Daehwi's side and hugs him.

"Daehwi, it's me. Why are you like this?" Jinyoung says, tears starting to escape from his eyes.

"Get away from me, ah!" Daehwi shouts, pushing Jinyoung away.

"Don't do this to me, Daehwi, stop messing around! I know you remember me!" and Jinyoung doesn’t release his grip Daehwi.

"It hurts !" With that shout, Doctor Ong, Woojin and Jihoon rush into the room.

"Jinyoung, stay away from Daehwi!" Doctor Ong says.

Jinyoung backs off. The doctor runs to Daehwi and injects something into Daehwi's wrist. Seconds later, Daehwi falls asleep just like that. The doctor sighs and looks at Jinyoung.

"We need to talk" doctor ong said.

Jinyoung nods and follows the doctor to his office.

Woojin and Jihoon are left at Daehwi’s room. The both of them are sad because of the news about their friend.

"Jinyoung,” Doctor Ong starts."Please listen to me very carefully.”

"I need you to cooperate with me if you want Daehwi to heal as soon as possible"

Jinyoung doesn't answer but he is listening.

"Daehwi's past amnesia is serious. You saw his reaction and you saw how painful it is for him just to see you. I know it’ll hurt tremendously, Jinyoung, but you need to stay away from Daehwi for the mean time," the doctor says. Jinyoung looks into the doctor's eyes and tears started to form in his eyes.

"Is there any other way? I want to be with him! You don't understand how I missed him, a month without him is like a nightmare. All those days are like hell—watching his body lie in front of me, and I don’t get any response from my I love yous. ! I miss him so much and now you're telling me to stay away from him” Jinyoung can't hold himself back—It’s too much for him.

"I'm sorry to say this Jinyoung but there's no other way, " Doctor Ong sighs. "You can still watch him, you can still hold him if he’s asleep. Because once he sees you, hears your voice, or even hears your name, it will make things.”

"Why? Why is he not reacting to Jihoon and Woojin's appearance? Why is he reacting only so painful to me?" Jinyoung asks.

"Because you're part of every happy memory to him, " Doctor Ong explains.

Jinyoung chuckles. How funny , he thinks.

"I wished I hadn’t been with Daehwi the whole time he was happy. Because maybe if I weren’t part of those happy memories, I can hug him right now," Jinyoung says bitterly, and leaves the room.

~

"Aunty," Jinyoung starts.

Daehwi's mom just hugs Jinyoung and he hugs back.

"Be strong, Jinyoung! Wait for my son to heal and he will remember you, I assure you of that," she says and Jinyoung smiles.

"I know he will remember me, he loves me so much," Jinyoung says.

"I know that it’s hard, Jinyoung. You and Daehwi were so near to the happy ending you both wanted. But yeah, expect the unexpected."

"Yeah, I know.”

"Are you going home?" She asks.

"No, I'm staying at the lobby. Aunty, can you do me a favor?" Jinyoung asks.

"Sure! What is it?"

"Can you call me once Daehwi falls asleep?" Jinyoung pauses. "I-I miss him so much, I want to hug him. But I can't, I can only hug him once he’s asleep.” Jinyoung laughs bitterly. "There's no difference. It's like he's still in coma every time I have a chance to hug him.”

"Jinyoung—"

"It's okay, Aunty. J-just please call me. I'll be waiting."

Daehwi's mom just nods and taps on Jinyoung's shoulder. When the older leaves, Jinyoung sits on one of the lobby's sofa. He closes his eyes.

"Lee Daehwi, I'll wait for you to remember me. I will not give up! We are almost there my love — the life we both wanted. The happy ending we planned for so long, I will wait for you. I promise."

~

It's almost 12 in the midnight when someone pokes Jinyoung's cheeks.

"Jinyoung," Woojin calls him, Jinyoung opens his eyes and sits up properly.

"Why? Is there a problem? How's Daehwi?" Jinyoung asks.

"Daehwi is already asleep. Aunty told me to wake you up since she needs to go home and get some clothes for Daehwi," Woojin says.

"C-can I go inside his room now?"

"Yes, you can. But once you feel that Daehwi will wake up, don't have second thoughts and leave the room immediately, okay?" Woojin says.

Jinyoung nods and heads straight for Daehwi's room.

It’s dark, the only light that is on is the one at the side table near Daehwi's bed. Jinyoung walks silently, afraid to any make sound that could cause Daehwi to wake up. Once he’s there at his usual spot, he looks at Daehwi who’s sleeping peacefully. He smiles a sad smile.

"Hi, love” Jinyoung starts.

"I'm so happy that you are already awake from your coma. Thank you for waking up," He pauses to collect his emotions, but it’s hard—"Daehwi, I miss you so much,”—and the tears start to flow down his cheeks.

"I miss you so ing much. You are already awake but still I can't talk to you. I can hug you right now but I'm afraid that you will wake up. Because you, waking up means I need to leave and not to show myself . I don't want that, I want to be with you every time you're asleep,” Jinyoung sniffs as he wipes away his tears.

"Love, I'll wait for you. Even waiting for you means hell to me. "

Since it’s dark and Jinyoung is still crying, he doesn't notice the single drop of tear from Daehwi's eyes.

"Take a rest now, love,” he then finally kisses Daehwi's forehead and walks out of the room.

~

The next day, Jinyoung visits the chapel at the hospital. Woojin tells the younger that Daehwi is currently eating his breakfast.

When he arrives at the chapel, he immediately walks to the first row near the altar. He closes his eyes, placing his hands together so that he gets a private moment to talk to God.

"God, I'm thankful that Daehwi is now awake. But why is life so unfair to me? He's awake but I can't even talk to him," he pauses as the tears are once again, flowing down his cheeks. "You know how much I missed Daehwi. You know how much I wanted to hug and kiss him and talk to him. You know how much I wanted to hear his 'I love you's — so why? Why did you have to do this to me? Why is it so unfair?"

After talking to him, he wipes away his tears and goes out of the chapel. Jinyoung goes outs of the hospital. He looks at the skies; he smiles and closes his eyes.

Daehwi likes the clouds so much, Jinyoung thinks.

Someone tugs at the edge of Jinyoung's shirt. He opens his eyes and sees a little girl in front of him with some flowers in her bag pack.

"Mister, please buy a flower from me. I need money," the little girl says.

"Why do you need money, little girl?" he asks, squatting down so that the little girl wouldn't have to look up at him.

"Because I'm going to buy a present for my best friend!” she exclaims with a bright smile.

"What flowers are you selling?" he asks.

"I only have sunflowers since my mom loves sunflowers," she says and shows it to Jinyoung.

Sunflowers. Daehwi's favorite flower.

"Okay then I'll buy all of those," Jinyoung says, standing up so that he can take out a large bill from his wallet.

"Really, mister? Thank you so much!" the little girl says, and she gives all of her flowers to Jinyoung.

"Here's my payment, little girl. Make sure to use this money for a present, okay?"

"Of course I will. Thank you, mister!" she says before running off.

Jinyoung looks at the flowers he just bought. There are five stalks—the exact number he gave to Daehwi on their 100th day.

I love you so much .

~

It's 3 in the afternoon when Daehwi's mom heads to the lobby to see Jinyoung.

"He's already sleeping," she says.

"Can I see him?" Jinyoung asks.

"I think you can," Daehwi's mom says with a smile.

Jinyoung doesn't waste any time. He goes straight into Daehwi's room, carefully opens the door. He walks to the side of his lover's bed and puts the sunflowers that he bought on the glass vase on the side table.

"How are you, my love?" He asks. Of course, there’s still no response.

"I met a little girl in front of the hospital earlier. She was selling your favorite flowers so I bought them for you,” He says.

Jinyoung stops talking when he see Daehwi moving a little bit. He runs to the door immediately, afraid that the younger will scream in pain one again, because of him . He wants to see Daehwi more but then he doesn’t want to take the risk.

"Oh, why are you here already?" Woojin asks.

"Daehwi moved a little bit,” Jinyoung smiles. "I don't want him to see me, not when seeing me means pain to him.”

"Jinyoung, just wait, okay? Daehwi will be fine. You know, what the mind forgets, the heart remembers," Woojin says, giving Jinyoung a reassuring pat on his shoulder.

"Yeah. Thanks, Woojin. You should go inside Daehwi's room now," Jinyoung says. With that, Woojin heads into Daehwi’s room.

"Guess I need to wait until midnight to see you again, love" Jinyoung thinks with a sigh.

He heads to the back of the hospital where there's a garden. He sees a lot of patients with their nurses. At the right side, there's a fish pond. He sees a couple: the boy is kneeling in front of the girl and wiping away her tears and after that, they laugh together. He smiles at the sight.

He walks over to the small bridge near the fish pond. He closes his eyes and starts to sing. The song that Daehwi composed for him.

"It's like a dream, a dream that I thought will never happen. It's you, the one I dreamt about. It was just a small attraction, but then when you looked at me and smiled. I knew it was not just a normal attraction. I love you, you're my life, I love you you're my best dream" He finishes it, and wipes the tears away.

"Ah!"

He looked at the boy who shouted. It’s Daehwi.

"Daehwi!" He immediately runs towards his lover.

Daehwi keeps screaming because of the pain.

"Hey love, it’s okay. Breathe in" Jinyoung says, patting the younger’s back. Daehwi opens his eyes, and once their eyes met. Then, the younger asks:

"Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?"

"Why is it that everytime I see you, you bring so much pain to my head, but my heart flutters .”

Jinyoung’s left speechless with that—he doesn't know what to say. He wants to tell Daehwi who really he is but then he remembers what the doctor said—that they shouldn't push Daehwi to remember because it turn for the worst.

He smiles at the younger. "You'll remember me Daehwi, believe me, you will.”

A tear escapes from Daehwi's eyes and so does Jinyoung's.

"Daehwi!" A shout from Woojin can be heard from afar. He runs toward the two to guide Daehwi back to his room.

Jinyoung’s left alone and he sighs. At least he had a chance to talk to Daehwi.

"Why does everytime I see you, you bring so much pain to my head, but my heart flutters."  

Those words kept repeating inside his head up until midnight. Daehwi doesn't fully remember him, yes . But the thought of his lover's heart fluttering—there’s a big chance that he will really remember Jinyoung. The next day. 

"Jinyoung-ah,” Daehwi's mom calls him.

"A-aunty!”

"I need to talk to you. Should we head to the nearby cafe?"

"Okay," Jinyoung says and they head for the nearest cafe.

Once they are seated with their coffee at the table, Jinyoung asks Daehwi's mom what it’s all about. He’s really curious why Daehwi’s mother would approach him all of the sudden. SHe could have talked to him at the hospitals, like they always did—but it’s different now.

"Jinyoung-ah, we are going back to Los Angeles today," she starts. Jinyoung's eyes widen, did he heard her right?

" We ? Today?" Jinyoung questions.

"Yes, we. Me, Woojin and Daehwi. And yes, today," she answers.

"B-but, why ? I mean—”

"The doctor talked to me last night. He told me about the accident that happened yesterday at the garden."

"I don't know why Daehwi went to the garden at that time. He told Woojin that he was hungry and Woojin came back after getting something for him to eat,  Daehwi wasn’t in the room anymore. He looked for Daehwi then he saw him, with you . He told me that he saw you and Daehwi having tears in your eyes. But Woojin told me it's not because of pain. Daehwi talked to him, Jinyoung-ah," she holds Jinyoung's hand at the table. Jinyoung is still looking at Daehwi's mom, curiosity eating him up. He’s very curious to know what did Daehwi tell Woojin.

"You know what did my son told his cousin?" she asks.

"I-I want to know.”

"He told Woojin, he wanted to remember you," she smiles. "He wanted to remember you, Jinyoung-ah. And leaving you is necessary so that he can heal fast.”

Jinyoung has mixed emotions right now. He's happy that Daehwi wanted to remember him but at the same time, he’s sad that Daehwi needs to go back at his home in America. There are also so many what ifs in his mind: What if Daehwi falls out of love while he's staying in LA? What if he doesn’t remember him? What if Daehwi stops remembering him and finds a new love of his life ? Those what ifs scared him, but he knows that he needs to trust Daehwi. He sighs.

"Aunty, can I ask for a favor?" Jinyoung asks.

"What is it?"

"C-Can I see Daehwi, for the last time before you go to LA?"

When they arrived at the hospital, Daehwi's mom told Jinyoung to stay at the lobby first and she'll check if Daehwi’s still asleep. Their flight will at 8 in the evening and it's just 5 in the afternoon. There's still 3 hours before the flight, and they asked Daehwi to take a rest first before they get on the plane to Los Angeles.

After 30 minutes of waiting, he sees Daehwi's mom and Woojin approaching him.

"He's asleep, you can see him now," Woojin says and Daehwi’s mother smiles at him.

"Take your time, Jinyoung-ah," Daehwi's mom says.

Jinyoung nods and smiles at them.

While walking towards Daehwi's room, he could feel his heart beating so fast. When he reaches Daehwi's room, he opens the door to see Daehwi on his bed. He walks towards the younger and smiles when he saw his lover sleeping soundly.

He holds Daehwi's right hand, back to his position at the very start.

"Hi love, your mom told me that you'll go to LA tonight. I'm sad, but happy at the same time since she told me you wanted to remember me. It makes me really happy, Daehwi," he pauses and looks at Daehwi's face

"Daehwi-ah, I'll wait for you, okay? But can you promise me something? Don't look for another man in LA okay? I'm going to ask Woojin to take a look at you everytime you go out. I don't think I can survive if I see you with other guys. To be honest, I'm scared to let you go. But I can't do anything and this is the best way for you to heal and to remember me." He pauses when he sees a tear escaping Daehwi's eye and he wipes it away.

"Why are you crying? Are you dreaming about me? I'm sorry if I'm making you cry even in your dreams. I'm sorry I can't do anything—" He continues. "—Daehwi, always remember that I'll be waiting for you. I'll keep waiting even though it will take a year, 5 years or even 10 years from now. I promised a lifetime with you and I will do that with you."

After saying those words he just hold into the younger’s hand tightly. At the moment his contended in holding the younger’s hand and by looking at him who’s peacefully sleeping.

He looks at the clock at the wall and it's already 6:30 in the evening. Time really flies so fast, when you are with the one you love.

"You need to wake up soon. I need to go now." He stands up and looks at Daehwi for the last time.

"I love you, Lee Daehwi, Always remember that this Bae Jinyoung will marry you. I love you but it's a goodbye for now." He then smiles and kisses Daehwi's forehead.

He looks Daehwi's lips. "I miss your kisses, and this is going to be our last kiss for now," and he pecks the younger’s lips.

"Until you remember me, I will wait for you. Goodbye for now, love, till we met again," and Jinyoung leaves the room.

                                                                                                                                            ***

 

To the deep dark man,

Hello mister, I'm asking myself everyday 'Who are you?' because you always appeared in my dreams. Even though I don't see your face, I know it's you. I don't know but when I first saw you after I woke up from my coma, my head started hurting. The doctor just smiled at me when I asked him who are you—even my mom and my cousin just smiled at me. I know you're not a bad person though. I also asked myself 'Why is it that everytime I see that man, my head starts hurting like hell'. You don't know that everytime I wake up, there are tears in my cheeks because I dream about you ever since. You don't know that everytime you come to my room and tell me some stories about you and me, I'm awake. You don't know everytime you kiss my forehead every night, it makes my heart flutter.

I woke up one afternoon with five sunflowers by my bed. That day I moved a little because when you talked about those sunflowers, my head suddenly hurt. Sunflowers, they are my favorite flowers. Five sunflowers, I dreamt about someone giving me those five sunflowers. Five sunflowers mean: I love you so much right? I know they are from you.

When I saw you at the garden singing, I don't know why but those lyrics seem familiar, like I wrote those words for someone. Is it for you, perhaps? I really don't know. You told me that day that I'll remember you. I told my cousin Woojin that I want to remember you, I want to remember you so bad, mister. But the best way to remember you is to leave you for awhile. You talked to me that night, you're asking me to not look for others. I will not, I will try my best to remember you. You said you'll marry me, are we in that kind of relationship now? There are so many questions in my head. And I hope by the time we see each other again, I'm already okay and I can finally look at you in the eyes.

Once I'm back from LA, I hope to see you. You and you alone, with no one else. Because honestly, even though I don't remember you, I don't know why thinking that you will get tired of waiting for me and fall for another man or even woman, makes my heart hurt. I don't want to see you with others too, mister. So please wait for me, wait for me to remember you. I hope you won't fall out of love. I'm scared that once I come back, you’ll already have someone with you. Please wait for me. Once I remember you, I'll book a flight and come back to you. Till we meet again.

Your love,

Lee Daehwi

Jinyoung finishes reading the last letter Daehwi wrote for him. This was mailed by Daehwi himself once they landed from Los Angeles. Jinyoung is at the park where he was supposed to ask daehwi to be his husband, ever since Daehwi left for LA, he always visits this park, in hopes that one of these days, Daehwi will be there waiting for him. It’s already 2 years and there’s still no sign of Daehwi.

Woojin always sends him pictures of Daehwi with captions on his messenger for the past few years. Jinyoung is happy that Daehwi is happy with someone else . At first, it hurt Jinyoung to see that the person who makes Daehwi smile isn’t him. But after awhile, it became okay with him—as long as Daehwi is smiling and happy.

Jinyoung’s about to go home and call it a day, but then someone calls out for him.

"Jinyoung-hyung!" That voice, that familiar voice. He looks at his back. There, he sees his life .

"D-Daehwi?" Jinyoung can’t move from where he’s standing as the shock still runs through him.

The younger runs towards the older. When he's in front of Jinyoung, he smiles then pouts.

"Hey, aren't you happy that I'm back?" Daehwi asks.

"D-Daehwi?" Jinyoung once again, asks.  

"Yes?"

"Is this really you or—" Jinyoung’s cut off by a peck to his lips by the younger.

"It is really me, hyung, I'm back. "

Jinyoung can't help it but cry and hug the younger. Daehwi smiles and hugs him back, patting his lover’s back.

"I'm back Jinyoung-hyung. I'm back where I belong," Daehwi says, still smiling.

"It took you 2 years Daehwi, but those 2 years are so damn worth it," Jinyoung is still hugging the younger, afraid that this might be just a dream.

Daehwi breaks away from the hug and cups Jinyoung's cheeks in his palms.

"I told you I'll come back as soon as I remember you," Daehwi looks into Jinyoung’s eyes.

"2 years without you is like living in hell," Jinyoung says. "But it's ing worth it now that you're here with me and I can finally talk to you again."

Daehwi smiles—that eye smile that Jinyoung loves and missed so much.

"I'm sorry it took awhile, Jinyoung-hyung but I'm here already and I won’t leave you anymore," he says.

Jinyoung's tears are still flowing down from his cheeks. Daehwi wipes them away and kisses his lover’s cheeks.

"Stop crying you big baby," he teases Jinyoung.

 

In the same place, same time we're together you can always come to me. Back to your place

My Love look at me, do you still love me? My love, look at my eyes and tell me a heart full of love can't be hidden.

"Daehwi, I love you so much," Jinyoung says, both hand wrapped around Daehwi’s waist.

"And I love you too so much, Jinyoung-hyung." Daehwi puts both of his hands around the older’s shoulder. They both smile and without a single word, their lips meet.

At first, it’s a slow and passionate kiss but as the seconds pass, Jinyoung can't help but to become more aggressive. He kisses Daehwi like a crazy man who missed his lover. But that’s who he is. He's so hungry for Daehwi's lips—Two years without the love of his life was just like he was living in hell. They stop to catch their breaths but their foreheads are still pressed against with each other,

"I ing missed you so much," Jinyoung says.

Daehwi’s about to answer but Jinyoung doesn't give him time and kisses him again.

Daehwi smiles at their kiss. This time, their kiss is so sloppy. Jinyoung releases all his stress from waiting for Daehwi by biting on his lips. Jinyoung takes dominance in their kiss, from his insecurities of seeing Daehwi with another man in Los Angeles. The other man was Daehwi's jealous until he found out that Donghyun already has a boyfriend. And those smiles from their kiss, is Jinyoung's happiness that finally—Lee Daehwi—his life is back .

They smiles at each other. Jinyoung takes a step back and pulls out a red velvet box from his back pocket. He won’t not let go Daehwi, now that they’ve met again. And he always carries this.

Daehwi's eyes widen. The thought of proposing of Jinyoung to him makes him happy. Jinyoung just smiles at him before kneeling down.

"Lee Daehwi, I experienced 2 years without you and it was so ing hard. No one is being clingy to me, no one is scolding me because I'm wearing the bucket hat that you hate, no one is saying that I should eat more—No one is making me smile . I missed your kisses, your hugs, your I love yous and everything about you. " Jinyoung pasuses. He sees Daehwi crying but Daehwi’s still looking at him. And Jinyoung opens the velvet box.

“As I said, 2 years without you was so hard, and now I won’t let go of you. 2 years was long enough, Daehwi.”

" Don't forget the truth that I was by your side, don't erase my heart that would sacrifice everything for you. " Jinyoung smiles and tears are falling down his cheeks too. He's happy, is this really happening ?

"Lee Daehwi, would you spend the rest of your life with me? Our happy ending that we planned long ago, do you still want that to happen?" Jinyoung asks.

Daehwi nodds and cries so hard.

“Of course Jinyoung-hyung, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. With you, and only you,” he emphasises.

Jinyoung smiles and puts the ring on Daehwi's ring finger. He stands up and hugs Daehwi.

 

My love, look at me, do you still love me?

"I love you so much, Jinyoung-hyung. Thank you for waiting,” Daehwi says while crying.

"I love you more, Daehwi. You are worth waiting for,” Jinyoung replies.

They shared their first kiss as each other's fiancé . It’s slow and passionate.

"Congratulations!" Woojin shouts and Jihoon playfully hits his boyfriend’s head. They are at the back of the tree near the two lovers and jihoon was holding a video camera where they film the whole scene. They were with daehwi earlier.

“You ruined their moment, you idiot!” And Woojin just scratches the back of his head.

The two smiles at them.

Jinyoung looks at Daehwi and smiles. He kisses his lover's forehead.

"Finally, after all that, I'm happy that you're still mine,” Jinyoung says.

"I'm happy that my dream finally came true,” Daehwi replies, and starts singing his song for Jinyoung

"It's like a dream, a dream that I thought will never happen. It's you, the one I dreamt about. It was just a small attraction, but then when you looked at me and smiled. I knew it was not just a normal attraction. I love you, you're my life, I love you you're my best dream"

“Can I request something from you, Daehwi?” the older asks and Daehwi gives him a nod.

“You can stop calling me hyung starting from now. We are already engaged. ”

Daehwi giggles and hooks his arms around Jinyoung’s neck and whispers, “Okay then, love. ”

Jinyoung smiles and whispers, “That’s better” before giving Daehwi a peck on his lips.

They put their foreheads together after the kiss. Daehwi once again smiles and Jinyoung feels like going to church right now, so that he can marry the boy in front of him. Daehwi looks at Jinyoung, eye to eye.

"You are the best dream, Bae Jinyoung.”

"And so are you, Lee Daehwi.”