Surrounded by his machinery, tools, scraps and explosives, Wonho felt like he could calm down. He tried to keep himself occupied by working on something – Shownu’s motorcycle, a new bomb – nothing worked. He ended up rage quitting from everything, which had the potential to be fatal when he was working with explosives.

So he settled for something much less harmful and something that could actually help him calm down – a pocket watch. He’d started it a couple of years ago, but as their activities in the Rebellion became more frequent and serious, Wonho had had little to no time to work on it. But he’d kept carrying it around, half finished as it was, out of guilt and in hopes that he’d finish it someday.

Working with the delicate gears required a steady hand and soon Wonho found himself relaxed again. While the explosives only made him think of Kihyun again – Kihyun and his destructiveness, whether he was smiling or shooting or ing his hips to some song – the watch and its mechanism were able to swallow him whole, leaving his mind occupied and protected from those disruptive thoughts.

But it didn’t last. Soon enough the door opened and the pink haired one strolled in casually, his hands in his pockets.

Wonho looked up for just a split second. The mere sight of Kihyun was able to completely throw him off and he ended up breaking one of the cranks.

He slammed his fist against the desk and sternly spoke, “Get out.”

Kihyun hardly winced. He lazily made his way over, cleared away the tools before placing his on the desk and gracefully crossing his legs.

“You’re really stupid, you know,” he said.

Wonho clenched his fist. He knew he’d only mess up more if he tried to keep working on the watch now. The problem was that he wanted to, but Kihyun was distracting him.

He didn’t want to look up, knowing that looking at Kihyun’s face would only anger him further. So he kept his gaze down, on Kihyun’s thigh and the fishnet he apparently wore under his ripped jeans.

“Get out or I’ll make you,” Wonho said, trying not to sound as pissed as he was. Oh, Kihyun would just love that. Wonho knew that it would pump his ego to see just how much in control he was. Wonho wanted to deprive him of the satisfaction.

“I would, but we have to talk. And I’m afraid it can’t wait for your mental breakdown to be over.”

That’s when Wonho stood up, the chair creaking loudly against the concrete floor. He stood in front of Kihyun, dangerously close.

But he still didn’t budge. Not when he was face to face with Wonho’s rage, not when he could clearly see him shake from it. A smile played on his lips, tugging up a corner.

“And now you’re here. What are you going to do?”

The fact that he didn’t have an answer to that further enraged Wonho. He cracked his knuckles and shot glares Kihyun’s way before sitting back down.

“Fine, then. Talk, but I can’t promise I’ll listen.” He pretended to be occupied by the watch, not that Kihyun knew what he was doing. It was convincing enough.

“Fair enough,” he said and picked up a pocket-sized music box that Wonho had put together a week ago.

Kihyun played around with it as he started talking, “Maybe you didn’t know, but Shownu was always great at climbing. Although when we were kids it wasn’t walls of correctional facilities and banks, it was just trees and sometimes the garage. One day I tried copying him and honestly I have no idea how the hell I managed to climb that tree, but once I did, I couldn’t find my way down.”

He let out a huff as he placed the music box down. “Stupid of me, but I’ve always been a show off. Anyway, Shownu happened to find me and once he got me to stop weeping, he helped me down.”

Wonho was just about to ask if the story had a point, but Kihyun didn’t let himself be interrupted. If he even noticed that Wonho had something to say, he ignored it.

“He was my hero. And he was great at everything. He was the golden boy, an amazing student, an even better son. Athletic and intelligent, the perfect combination. Have you ever heard him sing? His voice is angelic. He’s also a great dancer, but he doesn’t show it off too much. It seemed that there wasn’t a thing he can’t do. He was kind, smart, talented and just beautiful in every way.”

Kihyun paused, his gaze becoming distant. “He was everything I wasn’t.”

The words came like a dagger to the heart. Wonho limited his reaction to slightly lifting his head. He wanted to complain, to tell Kihyun that that’s bull, but he was once again not allowed to interfere.

“So, you see how easy it was to idolize him. That’s exactly what I did, except that I called it a crush. In my eyes he could do no wrong, which is stupid and unrealistic. You see, I idolized him. Can you truly love someone if who you love is just the perfect version of the person you’ve created in your mind? It took me a while to realize what I’ve done and it almost ruined our friendship.”

He made another pause. He was perfectly balanced, not showing any signs of disruption. But there was something in his eyes that Wonho had never seen before; it made his gaze heavy and almost cold.

Kihyun shook his head. “But I’ve changed. I know you haven’t known me as long as Shownu, but I still hope you’ve noticed the change, because I’ve worked my off to achieve it.”

Suddenly he leaned forward. He uncrossed his legs and rested his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. “I’ve spent most of my childhood trailing behind Shownu, tugging on his sleeve and looking up to him for protection. Eventually I got sick of it, I got sick of myself. I couldn’t keep hiding behind him, or you or even Minhyuk. Something had to change.”

He stayed like that for a moment, and Wonho could do nothing but stare. He had stopped pretending that he was busy. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Kihyun.

He took a deep breath and leaned back. He kept his eyes closed for another moment before locking eyes with Wonho.

“I changed,” he repeated slowly. “And as I’ve changed, so have my feelings. You may never forget your first love, but we all have to move on from it, right?” There was just a hint of uncertainty as he said that, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

“What I’m trying to say is: your jealous outbursts aren’t justified.”

Wonho frowned at that. He looked away, back at his watch. “What makes you think I’m jealous? I’m not jealous, I have nothing to be jealous of.”

Kihyun snorted and kicked Wonho’s waist. “Oh, you have a lot to be jealous of.” The half-smile was back on his lips and his voice slightly softened when he spoke again, “But you give up too easily. I somehow thought you’d fight for me a bit more.”

Wonho froze. His eyes widened in sudden realization, but— no, he couldn’t believe it. Kihyun was notorious for pulling cruel jokes on everyone, especially Wonho.

He looked up carefully, meeting that -eating smile of his. “You’re joking.”

Kihyun just shook his head.

“So – all the—“ He thought back to all the times Kihyun had looked at him a certain way, slipped in a compliment, even sat in his lap a couple of times. Even the pranks he pulled on Wonho were somehow different from the ones he pulled on the others. Wonho thought back to how he made sure to take care of Kihyun, back when he still needed it, and how he thought that it all went unnoticed. “—all of that was on purpose?”

Kihyun gave a small nod.

“You er—“

“I told you you were stupid,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Wonho stood up again. “You brat, stop calling me stupid—“

Kihyun leaned in, resting his chin on his fist. He didn’t look threatened at all. “Are you going to kiss me now, or do I have to do everything myself?”

Wonho was taken aback. Not that he wasn’t planning to do it anyway, but he didn’t expect Kihyun to be so straightforward, even though he should have.

That time Kihyun was stubborn. He leaned back and waited, refusing to make another move, since he’d done everything so far.

Wonho had to step closer to the desk; he grabbed Kihyun by the collar of his shirt and for once Wonho was the one to throw him off balance. Maybe he had expected Wonho to be hesitant, but he should have known better.

Wonho didn’t hold back and Kihyun needed a moment to adjust to his new position; legs wrapped around Wonho’s waist, being held firmly and his lips captured in a passionate kiss.

And it would have lasted if the door hadn’t opened again.

The two quickly parted, Wonho even took a step away from the desk. Both of them looked at the door where Minhyuk stood, covering his mouth to hide his chuckles.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Kihyun said quickly.

“It’s not? Because it looks like the two of you were about to bang,” Minhyuk said, casually approaching.

Wonho looked between Kihyun and Minhyuk, then shrugged. “Then it’s exactly what it looks like.”

Kihyun picked up the nearest harmless object from the desk and threw it at Wonho.

Minhyuk shook his head, his shoulders shaking as he laughed. “I take it you’re no longer in a fight? Come on, you’re needed upstairs.”