He is the most insecure person he ever knows. Even if a simple thing missing from his eyes he will know it and think about it all day. But on the same time he is the sweetest person that he ever knows. He always thinks he is like a cat. A calico cat at that and no other cat can define him.

He is the one that he can think looked at him in different way that other people not. He makes him comfortable and always helped him when he need especially in searching for his missing stuff which usually he is the one who stashes it away so he can help him. He is his medicine and to the top he is his penicillium.

But both of them are afraid…

He is a physiatrist while he is the patient of him. He needs to makes him better and he needs to listen to him to get better. He thinks if he get better he will go away and he think if he get better he will never looks at him. Thus both of them stuck in the transition of thought that can’t be changed.

Staying in the same room there is silence between both of them. He waiting for him to speak anything while he just wants to prolong everything stays silence. He likes this type of silence the best rather than the silence of his room. Because he know he is around and he feel safe and when he not he feel uncomfortable. He is the missing thing from his eyes that he can’t make it stay put.

There a knock to the door and both of them looked at it. A nurse comes into the room before she says “The time is up” with a smile and like always he hates time who always envy of their shared time.

“When is my next schedule?” asked him and the nurse answer with “In 30 minutes” he nodded at that and gets up from his seat. “Then I will send him to his room” he looked at him shocked hearing that but there happiness to it. He rarely sends him back and today he can and he glad.

He let him lead to his own room as he just follow along without even saying anything. The guard opens the door and then both of them enter the room. He notices the new blanket in the room and says “Yellow suit you well”

He looked at him shocked at his compliment on his new blanket that his mother gave him a few days ago on her visit. He takes a mental note to inform her mother to send him more yellow colored stuff because he thinks it suits him the best.

“It suits the best among white. Like how you are” he says as he cares the blond hair of his that he colors it as he just hate the color of black on his head. Like he think of something that he have no control of it. So starting from that time he will always makes sure his hair dyed so he won’t be afraid and want to pulls every strand of his hair.

“Like how my blond lock suits my skin?” he asked and he nodded at it. “I should notice them to only purchase blond dye rather than other color”

“If you think it is the best, it is”

“I like when you listen to me” he says with a smile and then looked at the door as it is the time for him to go. “I will meet you again on your next appointment” he says before walked toward the door and it closed to separate both of them. He looked through the small mirror on the door to see him walked away.

The separation that he hates but there nothing he can do about it. And for him he can’t stay either as he also has a lot other patients to take care. If he only cares about his favorite he won’t be able to move around even though he knows he is not even moving from him.

“Coffee?” is what he heard when he open the door to his room seeing one of the doctor there smiling with coffee in hand.

He walked toward that doctor and takes the coffee as he says “Thanks” before takes a sip of it. His feet bring him to his chair before he occupies it and the other sit on the patient chair like there no chair he can sit.

“Him again?” the guy asked and he nodded putting the coffee on the table and clean a few stuff on the table to get ready for the other patient. “He won’t talk aren’t him?”

“Yeah. He won’t”

“If he won’t there nothing we can help. Patients need to say what happen for them for us to solve and not hold it inside as it will kill them”

“He is just insecure and afraid. At lease he opens about the matter of color. He hates black and any other dark color”

“I can see that why you set your room in bright color of white and soft blue. Even what you wear”

“I don’t want him to be afraid. He changed doctor a few times because of that and I just hope he will stay with me as I want to help him”

“Sincerely, I think the way you look at him is different than other people looks and him too. The way he looks at you also in another level. The sense of he want to stay with you all the way through”

“Maybe the sense of him accept me as his doctor”

“I bet that not the only thing”

He dislikes night but not when stars full in the sky. He likes to watch the glow in that engulfing the window up on his room. In day he will see the sky and it always remind he of him but during night the darkness is overflowing that he get scared and hide in his blanket. But during time like this when the night is full of stars he will stay awake just to wish to see any shower of stars falling. He seen once when he comes here and it is the best scene he ever seen. The next time he sees one he wishes it with him. He wants to share it with him.

There a knock on the door and he looked toward it to see it open and he walked into the room with a smile. “Can’t sleep?” he asked and he just smiled as he shakes his head.

“I can get you a sleeping pill” he says answer to his answer but once again he shake his head this time saying something. “No. Tonight the sky is full of stars. I want to see if there will be any shower. I miss the one I see when I come here”

“Ah. That’s why. The guards always mention that you will stay sometimes during night. I thought that you’re too scared that you can’t sleep” he says as he takes a seat on his bed just right next to him and watches the night sky.

There a silence between both of them as they appreciate the stars in the sky rather than the fact that they are in the same room. And then he starts to say “If there a shower…” and he looked at him as he just pauses of his words. “Yes?”

“Will you come and watch with me?” he asked the thing he wants and he smiled nodded at that. “Yes. I will come here to watch it with you” he answers and it makes him happy and can be seen on his face. He holds the urge to his head because he knows he can’t stop.

He suddenly gets up and he looked at him shocked actually. “You should go to sleep. It’s late and I too should go back” he said and it sound forced. He nodded before lies on his bed and pulls the blanket over his shoulder and he just looked at him with a smile.

“Good night” he says before he leave the room closing the door behind him and he looked at him go before his eyes closed to sleep.

Today his mother comes again to meet him and with a smile she comes into the room. “How are you feeling?” asked her mother as both of them sit on the same table. His mother put his favorite food on the table that she brings for him. She always thought that the food here quite plain and never his favorite and once a week she will bring food from home for him.

“How everything, love?” asked his mother as he start to eat the food. The doctors give permission for this and thus he glad. Not like he hate the food served here but there always times when he miss his mother cooking the best especially after having a nightmare.

“Like always” he answers with food full on his mouth and his mother sighs knowing the answer bring to he didn’t talk about it at all. He never will but she hopes one day he will spoke of it. Say what happen that day that turned him into another page that she can’t differentiate.

“Ah” his mother says and gets up and he just looked at his mother. “Thanks for taking care of my child, doctor” she says and the comeback of her comes in from the voice he remember “No. It’s my job” he says and his eyes quickly looked back to see him standing there with a few files on his hand.

“Doctor, how about join us? I bring a lot of food and it already lunch for you isn’t it?” asked his mother and his eyes flicker in hope that he will join him for a lunch. “Yeah. It is already lunch” he says before added “I’m heading to cafeteria in the matter”

“Aw… No. Just join us. Cafeteria foods never taste the same as homemade since they cook a bunch of it” says his mother that makes him think about it before nodded. “Well… I will take that offer. I kind of need homemade food dose and doesn’t have time to go and visit my mother” he says before walked toward both of them and sit on a chair next to him.

“Too busy?” asked her and he nodded taking the chopstick that she give. He wonders did she expect him to join as she brings a few set of chopstick.

“Yes. I take care of a lot of patients and barely got time out. The usual holiday that I can get is Chusok” he says as he starts to eat the kimbap.

“Just one holiday of years?” asked her shocked but he shakes his head. “I have other holiday too and even pays holiday. But I’m worried about my patients all the time that I always stayed in hospital”

“I see… This is show that you should get married, doctor. Someone at home can change a lot” says his mother and his eyes widen hearing that. Completely disagree of it and he can see his cheek protruding with air rather than food.

“It might be nice to have someone to cook for me at home. But being around patients all day limit my time to socialize and know more people except people in this building”

“How about patient’s sister or younger sister? There might be some who interested in you?” asked his mother and he can’t hold it any longer. “No” he says in strict voice that his mother shocked and looked at her son.

“Love?” asked her that can’t catch of his behavior. “Doctor doesn’t need anyone. He is Jimin!” he says strongly. His mother doesn’t know what to say at her son outburst but he calmly says “Yes. I’m yours” with a smile and he smiled back before sit on his chair and continue to eat.

He is already on his room while he sends his mother to the out. “I’m sorry about before. My son… He…” she says before he shakes his head. “It’s okay. He might be like that sometimes because he feels insecure. But I’m sure he feeling okay by days”

“Yeah. I hope so. I wish he can come out of the room sooner and we can eat as family again. But maybe it is just my wish. I wonder when he will get better” a sighs comes to her and he reply her with “I will d