When Seongwoo first sees him, he thinks he’s looking at the epitome of perfection: his light brown hair, eyes that crinkle when he smiles, shoulders as broad as the ocean.

He’s the most beautiful man Seongwoo has ever seen throughout his years as working as a medical intern at Yonsei Hospital and it is the only time ever that Seongwoo doesn’t regret going through medical school and years of strenuous training- and giving up on his real dream.

Said man is sitting nervously on a stool in front of him, twiddling his fingers. Seongwoo tries not to think it’s cute.

“May I ask what happened to your wrist?” Seongwoo asks with his clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other, desperately trying to look as professional as possible. He doesn’t know if he does though, leaning awkwardly against his desk.

The man looks up at him with a flustered look on his face, as if he just noticed Seongwoo’s presence.

“Oh..um.. It happened when I was dancing.”

This time it’s Seongwoo’s turn to look surprised.

“You dance?”

“I’m in the school’s dancing team,” the man answers excitedly, “I love b-boying.” And Seongwoo can tell he does. The way the man’s eyes twinkle when he talks about something he loves to do is plainly evident. Seongwoo is sure he had that same twinkle when he used to do what he loved doing.

“Let’s take a look at your wrist,” Seongwoo puts his clipboard down and the man offers him his wrist. He does all he can do to focus on the injury and not on his heart beating at the contact. While he is feeling the man’s wrist, massaging here and there, Seongwoo risks a glance at the man’s face and is alarmed to see that his ears have gone bright red.

“I’m sorry, am I hurting you? Your ears are quite red,” the intern asks before continuing his examination on the man’s wrist but making sure to use less pressure.

“N-No, not at all! It’s..nothing,” the man blabbers and Seongwoo grins.

“No need to be embarrassed, a sprained wrist can be very painful.”

“That’s not why my ears went red,” the man murmurs so quietly to himself that Seongwoo doesn’t hear it.

“Alright then,” Seongwoo is about to ask for the man’s name when he notices it has been written on the top of his clipboard the whole time, “Mr. Kang Daniel, I’ll go inform Doctor Hwang of your current state and he will come see you in about five minutes so please wait patiently here till then.”

He’s at the doorway about to close the door behind him when Daniel stops him.

“Wait,” Seongwoo doesn’t miss the flash of disappointment in Daniel’s eyes, “you aren’t my doctor?”

“Too early for that. I’m still an intern,” Seongwoo explains before closing the door behind him.

He praises himself for acting like a professional in front of a living sculpture. Then he scolds himself since now he has no way of ever seeing Daniel again. Though it’s obvious they were both students of Yonsei University, the campus is too large for them to ever meet coincidentally.

Shaking off his disappointment, Seongwoo hurries off to Minhyun’s office.

____

Coincidences don’t happen, but perhaps fate does.

A little less than a month after their first meeting, Seongwoo is surprised to see Daniel sitting in front of him again, on the same stool he was on last time.

“You’re back again,” Seongwoo comments as he looks over his clipboard, checking off the necessary boxes. Daniel laughs sheepishly and rubs the back of his head.

“It’s my ankle this time.”

Seongwoo raises his eyebrow accusingly, “Were you dancing? I’m pretty sure Doctor Hwang told you to wait a full month after the last incident.”

Daniel sulks at Seongwoo’s -correct- accusation and looks down at his lap like a guilty dog, “It was just one dance move.”

“That one dance move cost you another trip to the hospital,” Seongwoo reminds him before getting down on his knees in front of Daniel to inspect his injured leg.

Daniel’s eyes widen at the sight of Seongwoo kneeling in front of him, “Wh-what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Seongwoo looks up at him skeptically, “I’m examining your leg.”

“Oh right,” Daniel’s expression visibly relaxes with a stupid looking grin plastered on his face and Seongwoo wonders what Daniel was even thinking of in the first place.

He first checks Daniel’s knee and works his way down to his ankle. Daniel grimaces when Seongwoo touches an anklebone and Seongwoo pulls back immediately.

“Your ankle seems to be much worse than your wrist,” Seongwoo tells him as he stands up and pats the dust off his knees. He’s about to reach for the clipboard on his desk when Daniel grabs his wrist and looks at him pleadingly.

“This..this won’t stop me from ever dancing again, right?”

Seongwoo softens at the genuine look of concern on Daniel’s face. It reminds him of himself.

“Did you know I used to be a dance major?”

“You used to dance?” Daniel’s face changes from a look of worry to surprise.

Seongwoo didn’t just dance. He lived for dancing; it was a part of his life. He was a part of dancing crews, performed on the streets, and practiced almost every day. It was his dream. All throughout his highschool career, Seongwoo didn’t think there was any other future for him other than as a dancer. His parents, however, had a different plan for him. Their fierce objections forced Seongwoo into a different path, one that he had hated but now had grown to accept. It was too late to go back anyway.

“I did and due to circumstances, I can’t anymore, which is why I completely understand what you’re feeling right now,” Seongwoo assures him, “But don’t worry. Your ankle should completely heal in a couple of months as long as you listen to what Doctor Hwang says.” He makes sure to emphasize the word “listen”.

Seongwoo finishes jotting down on his clipboard and heads towards the door, “Doctor Hwang will come see you in about five minutes.”

Before he can leave, Daniel stops him again.

“Why can’t you dance anymore?”

Seongwoo doesn’t answer him and only gives him a sad smile before closing the door.

 

Because I’ll hate myself if I do.

 

A few days after that incident, Seongwoo finds himself at the school library at 3 AM, viciously going through medical books. The cause of his rage was none other than the mighty Hwang Minhyun, a.k.a. is so-called best friend.

"Really, Seongwoo? How did you even get into med school with that brain of yours?"

"Jesus Christ it was one tiny mistake, chill out," Seongwoo said grumpily.

"You really should study more in your free time."

"And become a nerd like you? No thanks."

"This is why I'm a doctor now and you're still just an intern."

"Excuse me?"

Seongwoo doesn't care if Minhyun was probably right. Or maybe he does care since in the end he's doing exactly what Minhyun wanted -studying. The truth was that the past few days have been hard on Seongwoo. Ever since Daniel's visit to the hospital, he felt unmotivated to do anything. He kept asking himself why he was doing this, doing something he obviously didn't want. He was even jealous of Daniel for being brave enough to pursue his own dreams. It was these complicated emotions that caused Seongwoo's mistake at the hospital.

He is on his second book when he realizes that he hasn't understood a thing he's been reading. He doesn't want to admit it, but every time he tries focusing on the subject, his mind starts thinking about other things. Other things such as a certain light haired boy. Other things such as dancing. Other things such as a certain light haired boy dancing.

"I'm not going to get any work done at this point," Seongwoo reasons to himself and begins cleaning up his books. He knows its just an excuse to stop studying, but he honestly doesn't think he can be productive anytime soon.

As he's leaving the library and walking back to his dorm, he passes by the school's dance studio. He stops and stares at the building, noticing that all the lights are off. It was 3 in the morning after all. Seongwoo doesn't know why, but he can't help his feet from walking towards the forbidden area. Forbidden, at least, to him ever since he had sworn off dancing for good. No matter how hard he tries, Seongwoo can't stop his own two feet and before he knows it, he's already inside one of the practice rooms, staring at himself in the mirror wall.

It was just one dance move. Daniel had said at the hospital.

This time, Seongwoo decides to be the one to be a little greedy.

It'll be just one dance. One last dance.

 

As soon as he turns on the music, his body reacts. He watches himself in the mirror, observing the way his body moves so naturally, as if it had been made to dance. Maybe it is worth letting go for once and decides to enjoy himself while he can. His body becomes water, reacting to every beat and rhythm, his skills untouched despite long years of disregard.
 

Once the song is over, however, Seongwoo is filled with regret. He misses dancing. He misses it so much he doesn't know how he's going to drag his feet to the hospital the next day and pretend he is happy-pretend that the path is right for him. He regrets ever coming inside the studio. He regrets letting himself dance after holding himself back all these years. He should never have let himself go. He should never have let himself taste hope.

Tears are rolling down his face before he can stop himself. He's crying, sobbing, sniffling, whimpering pathetically like a child, and he's thankful that no one is there to see him in his vulnerable state.

At least that's what he thought.

He's in mid-sniffle when he finally notices the figure that had been behind him the whole time through the reflection in the mirror. Seongwoo whips around automatically and hastily cleans his face with his arms, pretending as though he hadn't been crying.

"H-hey, you shouldn't be in here, your ankle shouldn't have healed yet," Seongwoo jokes weakly, wiping off any traces of sorrow from his face.

Daniel doesn't answer him and instead advances toward Seongwoo.

Seongwoo gasps when Daniel pulls him into a tight embrace. He tries to pull back reflexively, but Daniel's arms keep him in place, and Daniel's hand lightly pushes Seongwoo's head onto his shoulder. The embrace calms Seongwoo, and he places his own hands around Daniel's shoulders.

They stay that way for a while, with Daniel rubbing soft circles on Seongwoo's back with one hand and gently the back of his head with the other.

Daniel whispers in his ears, "It's okay. Just do whatever you want to do."

And the words break Seongwoo because all his life, those were the words he wanted to hear most. Because all his life, all he had been hearing was "No", "You can't", "Don't do it." Because all his life, he couldn't even tell himself those words. Because all his life, there had never been a person to tell him. Because all his life, he had been ignoring those words.

Seongwoo can't stop himself from sobbing into Daniel's shoulders, no matter how embarrassing he knows he looks. He buries himself further into Daniel's embrace and shakes his head.

"No, i-it's not.. I c-can't," Seongwoo whimpers brokenly and Daniel tightens his embrace.

"Yes you can. I'll help you."