If you are a hardcore fan, this work might break your heart. Of course, these may not be Sehun's opinions and I don't want you to believe that they are. My only purpose is to show someone's posible perspective, and, yes, these behaviors are completely possible and, more importantly, human, and I'm also aware of the fact that they can be painful. Be them wrong or right, it is not your decision. Not even mine. And this is all fiction, whether I'm overracting or placing the events in a lighter way, that we don't know. 

I don't know what type of right I have to complain about the life I chose. What brought me here, to these pains and these chains. It is beautiful, I can't lie. The chants of my name that praise my talents, the gleam in their eyes that follows me around the stage. But it's not enough. This is not enough. It will never be enough. Because I feel an emptiness in my soul, as if I needed a new kind of air which fed my desires to live. Something to save me from the hatred and agony I'm living.

And, as a matter of fact, I don't have any right to complain. I am forced to not be me. I am forced to be what everyone wants me to be, and I gotta be kind, I gotta be perfect, with the most precious feelings, with no ual desire, and whose sensuality should be felt by the entire world except me. I have to sell my body, with the only comprehension, that, maybe it's not just my body, my face and my youth, it's my whole life. But if I was born in this body, in this flesh and in these bones, why is my life not mine? I can't feel it, I can't feel my life. I can't be gay, I can't be selfish, I can't be bad. I must be deprived of my natural rights as a human, I must be deprived from my freedom and my time, and the opportunities to fulfill my satisfactions.

"You ready, Sehunnie?" says Kai just one moment before stepping out to the stage, we will dance. For them. For them. And I feel my stomach churn, I know it's not nervousness, I had those feelings once, I got over them, I got used to the light. It's different. It's nauseous and gross, and you know, they feed me. The fans. But I can't help but feel like I want to throw up on them when I see their faces. I mean, they are different people, and I won't committ such horrible mistake to include those rational people within the same globe as the sick ones. But God, I go out to dance keeping my feelings to myself, showing the face that won't explode at them. Embracing my joy and my passion to tie my wrongs together. As any person, you see the same girl who has been leaving weird gifts to you and your hy