“Hyung my cheeks are not fat anymore right? I haven’t eaten anything last night and I only ate one apple this morning. Do you think I will lose weight if I keep on doing that from now on? Hyung do you think I can finally wear those skinny jeans? The one I pointed to you at the mall.  Ah I think I should buy it already. What do you think hyung? If I wear that at school do you think…”

…Jungkook will like me?

Yoongi can only stare as the younger kept on blabbering. Jimin was wearing an oversized grey sweater once again and his old faded blue jeans that hug his thighs nicely. Yoongi wondered, eyes almost not blinking, why Jimin, would want to lose those adorable chubby cheeks that Yoongi had always tried not to pinch most of the time just because he is not that kind of guy. That was more like their oldest hyung Seokjin. Yoongi will just stare and pretend to be not interested on how those cheeks grow a subtle shade of pink at the slightest compliment as Yoongi also wasn’t one who compliments, it was mostly Namjoon. And Yoongi obviously wasn’t the cause on why the younger cheeks were heating up now. More than a compliment, recently the constant cause of those blushes was a certain freshmen who Yoongi doesn’t like by the way.

“Hyung I think he is looking this way.” Jimin whispered

No. It is not because Jimin likes that freshmen named Jungkook. Yoongi will definitely not admit to that, even to himself.

“Should we go somewhere else then?” Yoongi lazily drawled, already closing the text books that were opened on the table.”Let’s just go to the library.”

They were at the schools field studying but despite Yoongi’s constant glare and sighs all Jimin does was talk about Jungkook. And now the said Jungkook was here, he doubt the younger can really study anymore. Yoongi swears if Jimin was not the blushing type he would be deathly pale by now as he seemed to really have frozen in place because Jungkook was really looking their way. Yoongi cast a glance towards the direction of the guy and as usual he was with another student who he has known from Jimin was named Taehyung.

I think he is his best friend hyung.

Yoongi somehow doubts that.

But Jimin who looks really in love with Jungkook simply would not believe if anyone would tell him otherwise anyway. So Yoongi kept his mouth shut. He doesn’t want to ruin something that makes Jimin happy.

“N-no let’s stay here hyung.” Jimin has hold onto his arm even before Yoongi can stand up.

With a shy smile that Yoongi knows would widen instantly the moment someone teases him, Jimin opened his textbook again. Yoongi was not the one for teasing by the way. So he just sighed and started talking again, trying to educate Jimin with a knowledge of someone who already pass that subject, hoping the younger will really listen.

But despite on how Jimin has really focused on looking at what Yoongi has been pointing at the textbook this time and even when he would nod when Yoongi asks if he understands what he was saying, he knows that once he asked him a question the younger will probably won’t be able to answer and will just offer him one of his apologetic smile and a ‘can you repeat it again hyung’. Because for now everyone would know, maybe even the janitor who was cleaning the trash nearby left by some students, that Jimin’s mind was somewhere else. Everyone who was able to see that smile on the younger’s face will know for sure that all Jimin was thinking of right now as his heart must be beating fast on his chest, was about that certain guy sitting somewhere on the open field looking at them. And only Yoongi can see how that guy’s ‘best friend’ was pouting and pulling on that guy’s arm.

“Let’s go home hyung”

Yoongi doesn’t remember when or how it started but maybe it was because of that smile that even in the late afternoon made Yoongi always forget that the sun was already setting down. His bright smile that looks even prettier because of those eyes that even formed into tiny little crescents.

“I got a high score on our math exam today”the younger singsanged and Yoongi can see how he tried to sling his arm around one of his arm in which of course Yoongi dodged like he always did.

It causes the smile on the younger’s face to fade and turn into a pout and Yoongi almost regretted doing what he did because now he looked like a kicked puppy when Jimin out of everyone should know that Yoongi was just really not the one into skinships. And even more because of the feelings that started to grow inside of him for the younger, the one that Yoongi tried to shake away by maintaining his cold hyung like treatment to Jimin. He has always stopped himself from being too affectionate like Seokjin to Jimin or be too complimenting to every little thing Jimin accomplishes like Namjoon. So he reminded himself not to tell Jimin even a simple ‘good job’ on getting a high score on his quiz.

“I think we have some ice cream at home.” Instead that’s what he said before he walked away.

Ans as he expected he was soon followed by the younger that even without looking, he knows was smiling again, excited just at the mention of ice cream as he asked what flavor it is and if he can come over to eat them all, because he knows Yoongi doesn’t like them that much anyway.

“Hyung I…have to go somewhere I- can’t go home with you today.”

Yoongi can already tell, with the way Jimin’s fingers were fiddling with the hem of the sleeves of his sweater and how he can’t look directly at him and how he seemed to be trying hard to control his smile from widening. Yoongi thinks he already knows where that somewhere is, or at least who will he be with on whatever that place may be.

“I can wait.”

Yoongi doesn’t know why he said that. He really doesn’t.

But then Jimin’s eyes shot up finally to meet his and Yoongi can’t ignore how his heart sunk a bit when the younger shakes his head frantically.

“No it’s okay Hyung. I will be—“

“Jiminie”

As an arm wrapped around Yoongi’s favorite dongsaeng, the one who everyone who doesn’t know him thinks as his younger brother, Yoongi can’t help but raised a brow, but feigning an unaffected look upon meeting a set of eyes he has seldom had a silent glaring battle with even without them really talking to each other before.

“Hi hyung. I’m Jungkook.”

I know.

Yoongi just nodded at him.

“Hyung”

Yoongi’s eyes shot back to the only younger boy he will really like, or maybe just because it was only him and Jungkook in front of him right now.

“We were going to hang out—“

“Date. It’s a date. I asked you out on a date Jiminie” Jungkook pouted and Yoongi doesn’t know how a pout can be that so annoying when even the old man Seokjin pouts and Yoongi wouldn’t have violent thoughts inside his mind like punching someone, not like now when it was Jungkook who was pouting while looking at a already blushing Jimin who was staring at the ground.

“It’s…”Jimin seemed to be too nervous to say anything and Yoongi worried about the younger’s heart thinking he might get a heart attack right then and there and he almost wants to rip Jungkook’s arm that was still on Jimin’s shoulder.”Yeah…I’m going on a date…with Jungkook”

Jimin was literally blushing intensely as he peered up at him and smiled.

“Sure kid”

Was all Yoongi said, ignoring the grin he caught a glimpse of on the doe eyed kid as he walked away. Ignoring how his heart shattered on how he just let Jimin go like that.

Because the fact that finally Jimin’s one sided crush was no more should be enough for Yoongi to be okay, that’s what he kept on telling himself as he for the first time in a long time went home alone that day.

 Jimin, to Yoongi, was someone he wants to protect. He was way too fragile and even when he smiles a lot, Yoongi knows, he also cries a lot all the same. When they were younger Jimin was teased a lot because of that so now he has learned to cry where no one can see. But he doesn’t hesitate to cry in front of Yoongi because whenever Yoongi knows that Jimin was trying to control his tears he will force him to let it out, even when Jimin would be mad at him for forcing him to cry when he didn’t want to. Yoongi will just accept those little fists that will hit him everytime because Yoongi knows what crying will do to Jimin. When he cries he can let out all his frustrations and anger out and once he is done crying he will be tired for a while but then Jimin will tell him that he feels a lot better to let it all out and then afterwards he will thank him.

Who thanks someone for making them cry?

Only Jimin does.

“Hey. Are you crying Jim--”

When he was not the one who caused it, for Yoongi it was unacceptable. Because when Jimin cries because of other people, it only means that someone hurt his feelings a lot, and Jimin takes everything too much harder than anyone else.

“Jimin look at me”

He knows he was being harsh with the way he grabs the younger’s shoulder, crouching a bit to look at the younger boys crying face. His face was all red by now while his hands were wiping frantically on his tear strained face.

“Hyung…”Jimin hicupped and Yoongi’s heart breaks at the sound.”J-jungkook he…he…”

Yoongi’s jaw clenched at the mention of the name somehow knowing what was about to come and his grip unknowingly tightened on the younger’s shoulder. He only loosened his hold when Jimin squirmed a bit.

“What did he do?” Yoongi asked calmly but anger was starting to consume his brain along with the worry he feels while looking at the younger’s shaking form.

“Taehyung…”

Yoongi’s brow knitted even more at the mention of the others name. That boy was the one who Jimin was with earlier.

“They were…together…Taehyung said he was Jungkook’s boyfriend. I thought he likes me hyung. He even kissed me and…”Jimin starts crying even more”…I thought he…Taehyung said Jungkook was just playing with me and I should…just stay away…I hate him hyung…”

Yoongi shakes his head at the guy but since Jimin was not looking at him it was mostly to himself.

Jimin should never hate someone.

Yoongi wants the younger to not have that ugly feeling inside his chest.

“I hate Jungkook…hyung I—“

Instead of saying anything Yoongi just pulls the younger into a hug. Something Yoongi only does whenever Jimin cried. And he would never tell Jimin but it was something he never does to anyone really, not even with his parents.

Yoongi knows that Jimin likes hugs the most, with the way he hugs almost every single person he met. Yoongi was not the one who hugs on a daily basis and even refuses Jimin’s hug despite something inside his head telling him not to and just give in. But Jimin is crying and Yoongi want him to indulge in that one thing he likes for now.

Or maybe forever if Jimin will let him

“Tell me everything back home” he mumbled to the younger as he pats his head. They were still somewhere at the school and by now it is getting dark. Something he only realizes when Jimin is not smiling. ”You can sleep over at our house if you want.”

He was glad he has waited for Jimin even when the younger told him to go home already when he was pulled somewhere by Taehyung wanting to talk. Jimin looks happy earlier as he may be thinking that he will also meet Jungkook since by then he knows Taehyung is his bestfriend.

Yoongi was glad that he was still here when Jimin cried and was not alone crying or trying to hold back his tears while going home. Yoongi’s heart clenched just thinking about it.

But one thing he was not glad was that Jimin was hurting and even though he knows that this will be the last time he will hear Jimin talk about Jungkook or maybe just in his usual he makes my heart flutter Jungkook talk and maybe Jimin will still talk about him but now as the one who gets his heart broken, Yoongi should have been happy about that fact but how can he be when Jimin was hurt like this.

No matter how he hates Jungkook the moment Jimin said his name with love, Yoongi realized that all he wants is for Jimin to be happy even if it is being with the guy.

“Okay…” Jimin was the one who finally pulled away and Yoongi can’t help himself as he reached out to wipe the younger’s tear strained cheeks with his thumb. Jimin blinked at him, bottom lip quivering and jutting out as if he was about to start crying again.”Let’s go home hyung”yet instead is what he said

Yoongi let go of him but when Jimin starts walking ahead Yoongi catches up immediately and didn’t hesitate to hold the younger’s hand.

Only this time, is what Yoongi told himself.

And that moment Jimin looked up at him, eyes confused for a few seconds until a small smile slowly formed on his face and even though it was nothing compared to his bright smiles it is still a smile anyway. Yoongi was okay with that for now.

When Jimin linked their fingers as they walked Yoongi realized that it was a lie that he only will allow this now, because if Jimin will allow him to, he wanted to hold his hand forever.

“Do you have ice cream hyung?”

Yoongi looked in amusement at the younger’s mention of ice cream at a time like this. He wanted to be mean and tell him ‘no cause you ate them all’.

“Of course” instead is what he said as he looked at their linked hands.

When the time comes that there will be someone else that would hold Jimin’s hand the way he did. He thinks he can let go of his hand by then.

“I’ll eat them all. I won’t leave you any hyung.” Jimin probably just mumbled to himself, still sniffling, but Yoongi heard it and so he nodded silently.

Maybe, Yoongi thinks as he takes a peek of the boy’s puffy eyes and red nose and cheeks from crying, smile too small and is in danger from being completely gone again on his face.

No matter how good it felt to be walking side by side with Jimin on their way home. No matter how he feels most contented and most happy just being like this, Yoongi thinks Jimin’s smile is still what he loves the most. But no matter how he loved that smile he knows he can never be that person who will constantly put that on the guy’s face.

Jimin needed someone who’s better than him.

But until the right person comes, Yoongi thinks he’ll be okay with this. Until someone else takes his hand away from him and he’ll have to go home alone.

A/N: I have a hard time finding the right words to end this ;;; I’m thinking of School 2017 OST Let’s Go Home by Tarin while writing this because I have listened to it last night, hence the title. Thanks for reading :)