I.

 

"We are condemned — and we understand it
       well —
To give everything, to withhold nothing."

 

 

 

 

People always have a drive. It’s their motivation, their will, some kind of thought that drives them to do whatever it is they’ve determined to be important enough to turn into reality. For world leaders, their drive might be to make their countries a better place, and for supreme sith lords from Star Wars, their drive might be to make things as bad as possible. A drive is neutral. It can be good, it can be bad, or it can be full-on chaotic neutral, but for Youngmin, he’s only got one drive, and it’s to make music.

 

(In retrospect, saying that his drive is to make music seems bizarrely anti-climatic when compared to the examples he’d stated, but Youngmin, despite being a rapper, is terrible at wording things out. Or, saying things. Stating? Saying? Either one.)

 

The first time he’d listened to his cousin play guitar, it felt like someone was constructing some kind of heavenly performance right in front of his eyes, even though looking back, listening to an eleven year-old pluck the same few strings to play a cheap rendition of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata should hardly be life-changing. Maybe Youngmin was just easily impressed as a kid, as most kids tend to be, but whatever the case is, it was music and it was his love at first sight. No, wait, not first sight—love at first sound? That.

 

“Teach me,” he’d breathed, eyes as wide as saucers in their amazement. His cousin wags his fingers at him and shakes his head, ends up saying something like ‘you’re too young to learn the art of guitar’, and Youngmin sulks afterwards. His pity party doesn’t stop him from sticking around when his cousin plays a few more songs though, and with every passing melody, he finds himself sinking deeper and deeper into the pool that is his constantly growing love for music. This is going to be his thing, just as his mother’s thing is sewing and his father’s thing is growing tomatoes at their farm. Youngmin helps out too, sometimes, but he doesn’t want to be stuck farming tomatoes all his life.

 

Music is what Youngmin wants to do, and one day, Youngmin’s going to be the best one out there. He just knows it.

 

 

  

 

Seoul University takes him out of Busan and into the capital of his nation. Youngmin is an awkward young adult; he fumbles with the Seoul dialect, and more often than not, slips back into his satoori in the middle of his sentences, especially when he’s nervous. (And he’s nervous quite often.)

 

Still, Seoul University might place him somewhere he’s completely not used to, because they didn’t have these skyscrapers back in Busan and he sure as hell isn’t used to the city lingo around here, but Seoul University takes him closer to his dreams, and that’s all that matters. He didn’t work his off during his last year of high school just to let all his hard work go to waste, no matter how homesick he gets sometimes, no matter how few friends he has on campus because of the awkward, unsure way Youngmin carries himself.

 

(The awkwardness is a little unlike the way Youngmin had been back in Busan. Though he was never the icon of confidence, the nerves hadn’t been as present, and that’s because Youngmin was home. Now, he feels like a stranger in his own skin whenever he speaks in a dialect that isn’t his own.)

 

Youngmin it up. He makes do with what friends he does have, and spends his nights writing down lyrics, laptop still on with the composing program shown across his screen. Packets of cup ramen surround him, discarded and making his small studio room stink of instant noodles, but this is nothing. He convinces himself it’s nothing anyway, because all of this will get better once everything works out.

 

They have to.

 

  

 

 

 

Three years into his studies, Youngmin finds a familiar face in the crowd that is the music department’s newest batch of students.

 

He doesn’t recognize him at first. The kid now sports dyed red hair (the colour is ridiculous, but then again, Youngmin’s hair used to be an even brighter shade of it before he’d decided to return it to its original colour) and his features have matured, which is to be expected, because time waits for no one. Still, Youngmin does a double check, because the kid has an eerie resemblance to a certain Busan boy who used to drill Youngmin for money (not in an illegal manner, though it was surely annoying at certain times) during the most opportune moments.

 

As soon as the ceremony ends, Youngmin rushes down the stairs, heart pounding in his chest from excitement. The kid attempts to leave the building immediately (and he’s alone, too), but Youngmin is there by the door in a flash, blocking him from his exit.

 

“Um, do you mind?”

 

The kid seems to be too focused on looking past Youngmin’s shoulders to look at Youngmin’s face, and Youngmin feels slightly guilty, because he might be in a rush and Youngmin’s stalling his time. Still, he’s a man on a mission, so he does mind, thank you very much.

 

“Park Woojin?” Youngmin says the name tentatively, tasting the long unspoken syllables on his tongue. He’s going to be embarrassed if he gets this wrong, but Youngmin is at least 99% sure that he’s right, because there’s really no way someone can look like another person this much. Unless puberty is that powerful, which Youngmin highly doubts, because the kid’s even got the same beauty mark on the side of his temple, the same spot the Woojin he knows has one.

 

Unless cloning has become a possibility and a mad scientist has sent his creation to Seoul University’s music department, Youngmin’s postive the kid is the same Park Woojin he knows.

 

Woojin freezes, obviously surprised someone knows his name without him having given it prior (or so he thinks!), at least, until he finally looks at Youngmin’s face and realization dawns upon his features. Good, Youngmin didn’t get the wrong guy. “Youngmin hyung!”

 

Youngmin wants to hug the kid, but at the same time, they haven’t seen each other for so long that even after Woojin recognizing him, the two of them have a tangible awkwardness between them. Youngmin’s arms are limp, and Woojin doesn’t seem to have the initiative to hug Youngmin. The kid’s never been much of a hugger though, has he?

 

“Do you want to catch up?” Youngmin offers, a wry quirk to his lips. There’s a coffee shop—Youngmin’s favourite coffee shop, as a matter of fact—located just around the block. It should be open by now, and Youngmin hasn’t had the daily shot of espresso he needs to function in the morning. (Whose bright idea was it to hold the freshmen tour so early in the morning anyway? Not his, that’s for sure.)

 

 

  

 

If Youngmin feels better knowing Woojin’s satoori is even worse than his when he’d first moved to Seoul, he doesn’t let it show.

 

The both of them are cramped together in one of the cornered seats of the coffee shop, half-empty cups of coffee both placed on the table. Youngmin’s taking his time with his, though he’s tempted to down it in one shot. The only reason why he hasn’t is because Woojin’s there with him, and he’s not sure if Woojin would be terrified or seriously concerned if he sees Youngmin do that. Freshmen are weird.

 

“I have to thank you, hyung,” Woojin mumbles, voice uncharacteristically demure. When Woojin refuses to meet his eyes, Youngmin realizes that Woojin is shy. Is that even possible? (Apparently so, but Youngmin still has a tough time believing it, even if seeing is supposedly believing.)

 

“What for, Woojin?”

 

Woojin appears contemplative. Not for the first time in this conversation, Youngmin wishes he can see what’s going on inside the younger’s head, but that’d be an invasion of privacy so Youngmin retracts the thought—being creepy isn’t really on his bucket list. “You’re the reason why my parents allowed me to come here.”

 

“…Huh?”

 

Woojin grins, snaggletooth and all. It’s charming. “My mom only let me come here because she knew you’d be here, too. She trusts you.”

 

The weight of Woojin’s words soon sink in, and Youngmin looks at the younger with barely concealed horror. “I am not going to babysit you—”

 

It’s nothing personal, because Youngmin adores Woojin no matter how much money the younger has taken from him. Woojin’s a nice kid and he’s not a big hassle because Youngmin knows he’s the responsible type and he can handle most of his own problems. As far as younger brother figures go, Woojin’s on the independent end of the spectrum. Still, Youngmin isn’t fond of the thought of spending a majority of his nights looking after the freshman, close ties or not. He’s got his own life to live, his own problems to deal with. He doesn’t need to add Woojin on top of all that, no matter how much he likes the kid’s company.

 

“It won’t be babysitting!” Woojin cuts him off in the middle of his tirade, already latching onto Youngmin’s tone. It shuts Youngmin up, at least, lets him sink back onto his chair and give a gesture with his hands that’s meant to signal Woojin to explain. Hopefully quickly, because Youngmin has a date with his lyrics sheet back at his dorm. “You’ll just need to check on me every once in a while—okay, once a week—and text my mom how I’m doing. With pictures attached.”

 

“That sounds a lot like irresponsible babysitting, Woojin.” Judging by the guilty, sheepish grin that blooms on Woojin’s lips, it is, and Youngmin pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He’s already made up a decision, and it is exactly the kind of decision that makes Youngmin wish he wasn’t so responsible and (maybe a little) overbearing. “Text me your class schedule. We’ll work something out.”

 

Woojin gnaws on his lower lip. “But hyung, I don’t have your number yet.”

 

“Give me your phone, then.” Woojin hands it over without a fight, and Youngmin punches in his number, leaving the name blank. Whatever Woojin wants to name his contact as, it’s the kid’s choice. “Don’t forget to text me later, okay?”

 

Like an obedient oversized puppy, Woojin nods, lips set into a dutiful thin line. “Roger that, hyung. Wait, where are you going?” Youngmin’s already getting out of his seat and Woojin clambers after him, and in the process of rushing, accidentally hits his knee on the roof of their table. It makes an audible noise, and Woojin hisses in pain. Youngmin cringes.

 

“I’m guessing I’ll leave that part out when I report to your mom?”

 

 

 

 

Youngmin’s on his third cup ramen for the day and is inching closer and closer towards his imminent death due to a gaping lack of proper nutrition when his phone buzzes, indicating a new message.

 

It’s an unknown number, but the tone of the message makes it obvious as to who it is, so before responding, Youngmin saves his number. (He should’ve taken a picture of Woojin too, or at least find one online, because Youngmin has a thing with giving his contacts pictures—he’ll have to fix this later, maybe ask Woojin for a selfie?)

 

won stealer (13:15): hyung i have a great idea

won stealer (13:15): like, a really good one

won stealer (13:16): please hear me out

paca hyung (13:18): what is it?

won stealer (13:18): ok you’re here

won stealer (13:18): have you ever thought about making a band?

paca hyung (13:19): uh, no

won stealer (13:19): it’s a good idea and i can list down the reasons!

won stealer (13:19): do you want me to list down the reasons

paca hyung (13:20): go for it kid

won stealer (13:21): first of all you can totally look after me while being productive

won stealer (13:21): you can improve your song writing skills

won stealer (13:22): also you can submit the band as a project to your prof

won stealer (13:22): it’ll be extra credit!!!

paca hyung (13:23): okay, you’re onto something here

paca hyung (13:23): won’t hurt a shot lol what do i have to lose

won stealer (13:24): great because i might have already found us our vocalist and keyboardist

paca hyung (13:25): …

paca hyung (13:25): what

 

 

 

 

Whatever it is he’d expected of the vocalist, Youngmin surely hadn’t expected it to be someone even younger than Woojin. Their would-be vocalist and keyboardist is apparently a prodigy and got into college early through a fast track program Youngmin can’t seem to remember the name of. Long story short, the person Youngmin’s supposed to recruit seems like he’d belong more in the school orchestra rather than a band, and Youngmin doesn’t even want to know how Woojin managed to lure someone like that into his band. Maybe he should start giving Woojin more credit.

 

“Where’d you find him?” Youngmin doesn’t bother to make sure the vocalist (his name is Lee Daehwi, he’d mentioned before somewhere during their conversation) is out of the room when he asks this to Woojin, because it’s not like he’s going to say something rude about Daehwi anyway, and by the tone of Youngmin’s voice, it should be easy to defer that this is being spoken as a compliment.

 

Woojin smiles smugly. “I know people.”

 

“If by that you mean you posted an ad on the bulletin board and waited for someone to respond, then yeah, you know people,” Daehwi muttered under his breath, carefully avoiding Woojin’s piercing glance when directed towards him.

 

It was in that moment that Youngmin knew he’s going to like having Lee Daehwi around.

 

“Welcome to the band.”

 

 

 

 

The three of them make Youngmin’s favourite coffee shop as their base of operations. It’s a slow start, but it’s still a start, and their forming leads Youngmin to wonder why he hadn’t thought of something like this before.

 

“What are we going to name ourselves?” Daehwi asks one day, notepad in hand. He’s their resident planner and secretary as well as their vocalist and keyboardist, because everyone knows you should only leave those jobs to Woojin if you wanted your documents to get lost and it’s an open secret that Youngmin’s not the most organized person around. (“That much’s obvious with the way you layer your shirts,” Daehwi once said to him, and Youngmin refused to speak to the younger for a whole day afterwards. Not one of his best moments.)

 

Woojin’s nose scrunches up, and it’s the telltale sign that he’s thinking, because it’s his ‘thinking face.’ Youngmin remembers having a younger version of Park Woojin confiding this to him once, maybe over five years ago.

 

“How about WYD? Like, What You Doing? It’s got our names too! W for me, Y for Youngmin hyung, and D for Daehwi!”

 

As far as ideas go, that’s not terrible, and Daehwi writes it down. “Alright, that’s one idea. Youngmin hyung, do you have any ideas?”

 

Names aren’t his forte, but Youngmin takes into account the other two’s hopeful expressions, and somehow, his brain conjures up images of a sparrow and an otter instead of a band name that doesn’t sound like it came out of the ‘80s. But, Woojin and Daehwi both resemble those animals, and if Youngmin’s got to think of an animal for himself, it’d definitely have to be an alpaca (Woojin even saved his number as ‘paca hyung’)—he might be onto something here, and Youngmin might be able to kill two birds with one stone. The band name as well as what sets them apart from other bands, because in the music department, there are a lot.

 

“Animal Kingdom.” He’s met with dumbfounded silence and incredulous stares from Woojin and Daehwi. Woojin looks like he’s more surprised over the fact someone gave a name that sounded sillier than what he himself had suggested, and Daehwi looks exactly like someone who has just realized he’s surrounded by not just one, but two knuckleheads. So, Youngmin gives a follow-up to his statement immediately, which is a really PR thing to do and makes him realize he’s been hanging out with the PR kids way too much lately. “It makes sense! You look like a sparrow, and Daehwi looks like an otter. I look like an alpaca.”

 

Daehwi frowns. “You’ve got a point, but the name is so cheesy. And I’m the one saying that.”

 

When Daehwi of all people is saying something’s cheesy, then aforementioned something must be pretty damned cheesy, considering the fact Daehwi’s someone who can read a Nicholas Sparks book overnight and come out unscathed, even saying something like ‘it wasn’t that cheesy.’ Youngmin feels like a little part of himself has been scabbed. (The hip-hop part of himself, he means, because having a band called Animal Kingdom might not be the swaggiest—that’s probably not a word but one of the Taiwanese exchange students seems to think it is and Youngmin’s been infected by the kid’s word virus—thing to do.)

 

“A different name with the same concept, then?” Youngmin tries, and when the kids realize he’s not going to give up the animal concept any time soon, they give in with a sigh, though Woojin makes it evident he doesn’t think Youngmin entirely knows what he’s doing.

 

“How am I going to go to classes when people know me as a sparrow?” Woojin laments under his breath, and Youngmin brings himself to chuckle.

 

“At least you won’t be known as an alpaca.”

 

Woojin has the gall to turn his nose up at him. “But I thought you liked being called an alpaca? I mean, you’ve got the whole alpaca dance thing down to a—”

 

“Nope, I can’t hear you, Woojin.”

 

 

 

 

This isn’t working.

 

Theoretically speaking, it should be working, because they’ve got two rappers and one decent vocalist; not to mention Daehwi’s composing skills when teamed up with Woojin and Youngmin’s own (with the addition of each of their ability in lyric making) they should be a dream team. Not a trio of overworked college students who can barely get through practice without interrupting each other because that was a wrong note and something like one of them accidentally going off-tune.

 

Put simply, they’re a disaster, and Youngmin’s starting to regret investing all his time into this when he’s got a stack of assignments waiting for him back at his place. Maybe it was a stupid move of his, to consider that this whole thing would work out, because obviously he’s supposed to suffer his way through college before getting out and hopefully getting his big break. He’s added a ‘hopefully’ to that word, because there’s only so many success stories compared to the amount of failed musicians he sees, even if they’re graduates from South Korea’s top university.

 

It gets discouraging, and that leads to stress, and the stress tends to pile up.

 

So, what Youngmin’s trying to say is, maybe he’s not okay. He’d figured this whole band thing would be a magic key, but it’s starting to look like he’d chosen the wrong object and one of these days he’s going to have to come back to his cherry farm and—

 

And, he needs to calm himself, because this really isn’t the greatest place to have a mental breakdown. (Added to that, Daehwi’s starting to look worried and even Woojin’s caught onto the unsteady twist in Youngmin’s features. Deep breaths.)

 

“Hyung, are you okay?” Daehwi edges carefully, eyes searching for any trace of anything that’s not okay from Youngmin’s form. If he looks at the right places, he’s bound to find a hell lot of it.

 

“I’ll be honest,” Youngmin begins, voice blunt. “Not really. The band isn’t working out.” Subtlety has never been Youngmin’s strong point, so he decides to drop the bomb just like that, and averts his eyes because he doesn’t want to see whatever disappointment is waiting for him in both Woojin and Daehwi. It’d be like looking into the eyes of a puppy he’s abandoned, and he doesn’t need that on his already heavy conscience. (One of these days, Youngmin’s going to have a breakdown, he can practically feel it.)

 

“I’m sorry.” Woojin sounds so guilty, and Youngmin wants to tell Woojin that he doesn’t have to feel like he’s the guilty one. Even though Woojin’s the one who came up with the idea, in the end it had been Youngmin who’d executed it, and that makes him even worse because his role had him feeding the two kids some kind of false hope for… what? A reputation upgrade? A few extra points in class? It’s not like he’d sold them hopes and dreams, per se, but still.

 

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine,” Youngmin resolves, ignoring Woojin’s look of bafflement directed at him. “Listen, Woojin—”

 

“No, you listen, hyung.” That manages to shut Youngmin up, because Woojin is usually exuberant and vibrant, maybe more on the grumpy than the sunshine side of things (unlike Daehwi), but there’s a certain layer of ice behind Woojin’s tone that takes him completely aback. “You’re not the one at fault here. I don’t know why you’re thinking that when this whole idea was mine in the first place. You wouldn’t have formed our band if I hadn’t given you that idea—so if anyone’s to blame, it’s me. Please don’t blame yourself over this, hyung.”

 

“But I—”

 

“Stop blaming yourselves, oh my God,” Daehwi interrupts their self-pity, sounding more exasperated than angry. Is that a good thing? Youngmin hopes that’s a good thing. “This was none of your faults. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want it to.” After a contemplative pause, he adds, “Kind of like a relationship.”

 

“A relationship?” Woojin mirrors Youngmin’s face of blatant confusion. Though, maybe to a more serious extent, because Youngmin’s starting to get the idea of what Daehwi’s saying, having had his fair share of relationships. Woojin’s been single since he was born, so Youngmin tries to understand the youthful innocence that rolls off him in waves.

 

“Yeah, a relationship. Sometimes you might give it your all, time and everything, but in the end some things just aren’t meant to work out.” Daehwi is probably speaking from experience, judging by the sadness that laces his tone. Youngmin makes a mental note to ask Daehwi if he wants to talk about it later. If there is a later.

 

 

In the end, the both of them look at Youngmin. He knows why, of course. They consider him as their leader. It’s a heavy burden, because he makes all of the important decisions, kind of like this one.

 

This time, the decision he makes is far from being an easy one.

 

“If we’re comparing this to a relationship, then it’s time to take a break.” And, because he can’t bear to see the both of them being sad, he decides to add in a pinch of humour—even if Woojin’s going to be the only one appreciating it in the end as Daehwi’s taste in humour isn’t as lame as his and Woojin’s. “It’s not you, it’s me.”

 

 

 

 

Neither Daehwi nor Woojin stop texting him, even after their failed attempt of a band ends before it even really begins. None of them act like a stranger around him, never forgetting to nod in acknowledgement or wave whenever they spot each other around campus. When they bump into each other in the halls, they greet each other too.

 

In a way, it settles Youngmin, because it doesn’t feel like much has changed. Maybe the three of them don’t meet up to make music anymore, but none of them have stopped being friends. Even if Daehwi’s found his own group of friends (with some of the more popular kids in freshman year, he recognizes Park Jihoon as one of them because he’s got a handful of friends who wants to be introduced to the kid) and Woojin’s slowly breaking through of his shell and is starting to talk to people who aren’t Youngmin nor Daehwi. Sometimes, Youngmin sees him walking to the library with someone else from his year—a nice boy named Hyungseob, he eerily resembles a bunny—and it makes him feel happy, even if he has to fake his reports to Woojin’s mother sometimes.

 

It’s not like she realizes the difference between the pictures that Youngmin takes of Woojin and the pictures that Woojin either takes himself, or has Hyungseob to do for him. The three of them are kind of like co-conspirators in a sense; co-conspirators in making sure Woojin’s mother stays happy even if Youngmin doesn’t stick around like the mother hen she’d expected him to be for her son.

 

(He was always more of a papa bear than a mother hen anyway.)

 

 

 

 

II.

 

"                                             I knew
it was restless, nocturnal, demanding,
and wouldn’t fit into my life. But I longed,
nevertheless…"

 

 

 

 

Parties usually aren’t Youngmin’s scene.

 

It’s not that he lacks the social awareness needed for them (contrary to slightly popular belief, though those rumours have died down once people started noticing his friendship with Daehwi, Woojin, and the occasional Hyungseob—they called him the ‘freshman collector’ for a while before they started realizing that was kind of ing creepy), but it’s because Youngmin would rather spend the night completing the assignments he knows are due either the next meeting or the meeting after that, but he still starts later on in the project anyway because apparently he’s Im Youngmin and he’s a er for death. Or pain. Whichever comes first.

 

Tonight’s a different occasion though, because it’s a special occasion. It’s not everyday that your first friend on campus gets elected as the president of his frat, as odd as it might seem that Kim Jonghyun’s a member of a fraternity in the first place. Jonghyun’s one of those good guys that seem like they could step into any movie and instantly be its protagonist because he’s got a good head on his shoulder and the kind of morality usually found in future world leaders, not the leader of a pack of (somewhat subdued) frat boys.

 

Still, Youngmin knows the boys of the fraternity adore Jonghyun, going as far as to slightly change their ways for him. The Jonghyun Effect (complete with a trademark and everything) is what they’ve been calling it, because—and this is what they say—whenever Jonghyun gets disappointed, it feels like they’ve managed to let down Captain ing America. Youngmin sees the resemblance, kind of, because whenever Jonghyun’s disappointed he manages to make Youngmin feel like he’s ten again and he’s just done something that he wasn’t supposed to in the farm. He once shared that story to some of the frat boys, and they couldn’t relate.

 

That’s to be expected, considering none of their families own a tomato farm.

 

“Youngmin, I’m glad you could make it.” Jonghyun personally sees him at the door, and Youngmin doesn’t know if he’d ever expected anything else. The older of them (only by a few months, as Jonghyun is fond to remind him) is donned in a long-sleeved pink shirt that looks comfortable and fitted denim jeans. His hair is styled, and he’s smiling—pretty widely too, which is good, because this is supposed to be Jonghyun’s night.

 

“I know how much this means to you,” is what Youngmin offers in return. The both of them share a quick smile, and soon Jonghyun finds himself greeting another guest, leaving Youngmin alone after a quick apology. Youngmin waves off the apology, because Jonghyun’s supposed to be greeting the guests anyway, and Youngmin’s sure he’s got some friends of his own at this party.

 

Friends that aren’t Daehwi nor Woojin, considering they’re freshmen and he’s pretty sure Jonghyun hadn’t invited any to the party. Dongho, who stands as bouncer in all of his intimidating glory (it’s only a cover though, anyone who’s someone knows he’s a softie at heart) is bound to keep any party crashers at bay.

 

His first order of business is to get some booze. While he isn’t the biggest drinker, he can hold his liquor well enough, and there won’t be any harm in a few drinks. The buzz would be pleasant and maybe it’d get Youngmin to loosen up enough to make some friends. That is, if he manages to keep his drinking under control (easier said than done once the liquor really gets into his system) and avoids blacking out. Because if Youngmin blacks out, it means he wouldn’t remember any friends he’d made prior, and that’s not the angle he’s going for.

 

As tempting as it may be.

 

Thankfully, he’s able to find beer easily, even if beer isn’t exactly his preference. Youngmin’s more of a rice wine person, but he’ll take anything, so he gulps down the beer and controls his facial expression to avoid cringing at the stale, bitter taste.

 

(Nobody’s really paying attention to him, so even if he’d let his discomfort show, it’s not like he’s going to be the of the party. Everyone’s attention’s fixed onto Sanggyun who is currently doing a keg stand. Sanggyun’s doing a good job of not falling onto his own and embarrassing himself, and apparently it’s lasted more than ten seconds. Not bad.)

 

The party’s revving up now, more and more people arriving with every passing moment. Youngmin knows how much of a loser he looks like right now, quietly sipping a beer he isn’t even enjoying and not really having much company around him. The solution to this, of course, is even more drinks. Where else is he supposed to gather courage from? He’s similar to Woojin in this way, because the both of them have a tendency to be relatively reserved at first before being friendly with someone. That demeanor kind of changes when he’s trying to befriend someone who’s lonely (codeword for having even less friends than he does), in which he has the galls to be the talker instead of the one being talked to, but in this party, it seems like he’s the odd one out.

 

Most of the people here? He might know their names, but he’s starting to regret not going out more back in his freshman year. Now they’ve got their own friends, and Youngmin’s… Youngmin. Not left behind, per se, but not exactly in the crowd either.

 

He’s in the tiny gray area in the middle, sometimes teetering over the line when his three freshmen friends are involved, but that’s all.

 

(His thoughts are starting to get sad and the party’s barely even started—time to get another drink.)

 

 

 

 

Two hours into the party and Youngmin’s already done his fair share of socializing (he thinks he’s made like, what, five new friends now? Daehwi would be proud), feeling the familiar buzz of the alcohol but still fairly in control, because he holds his liquor well and he doesn’t really enjoy much of the alcoholic beverages served to drink further. The drinks were a good distraction from his thoughts that were taking a rapid depressive turn, but now they’ve served their job, and Youngmin keeps a tight handle on his self control.

 

He knows when enough is enough and he still needs to walk across campus to get back home—so, no more drinks. Not tonight.

 

Youngmin’s having a grand time leaning against a wall as he watches the antics of the party unravel before his eyes (some interesting things are beginning to happen, like witnessing Jonghyun finally kiss Minhyun after several months of pining), only slightly wondering what he’d have done had he drunk as much as the rest of them. Probably nothing remarkably interesting, maybe he’d have puked in one of the bathrooms, and ended up falling asleep in the bathtub. Nothing remarkable enough to go on anyone’s Snapchat, just something to give him a of a hangover when he wakes up.

 

Maybe he should go back now. It’s not like anyone’s going to call him out for leaving, and he’s already been there for two hours, so that should be enough, right?

 

(As he sees Jonghyun push Minhyun inside a bathroom and the resounding click that happens after Jonghyun locks the door, he decides that yep, this is definitely enough. He doesn’t need to hear or imagine whatever’s happening after that, dear Lord.)

 

What happens after that is something that Youngmin will remember for the rest of his life as the beginning of something fateful (or whatever wording there is that Daehwi would use from one of his Nicholas Sparks novels) in the years to come, but at the present moment, something that’s just plain ing weird, because some guy he doesn’t know has just strolled up to him and promptly plants a big, sloppy kiss on his lips.

 

Stranger Danger (that’s what Youngmin’s going to call him, or SD for short) reeks of alcohol and bad life decisions, because giving Im Youngmin out of all people a kiss has got to be a terrible life decision, and Youngmin pushes him away just as any other person would do when a stranger suddenly tries to shove their tongue in your throat and just ends up colliding your teeth with his (painfully) in the process.

 

Drunken kisses aren’t his thing, neither are kisses shared with strangers, and negative plus negative equals negative. So, that wasn’t necessarily the best way to start an acquaintanceship or whatever it is the stranger had been hoping for with Im Youngmin.

 

“What the hell?” Youngmin splutters, looking as taken aback as he sounds. He’s sure SD hadn’t meant to cause any harm, because alcohol makes you do really stupid things, so he tries not to sound too rude. A difficult task, considering he’d just had a kiss stolen by some drunk college student at a frat party.

 

(Oh my God, I might’ve just kissed a frat boy. The very thought sends shivers down Youngmin’s back in terror, because not to generalize all frat boys, but the only decent frat boy’s Youngmin’s ever talked to is Jonghyun.)

 

“Why did thou push me away, oh Romeo?” SD starts to lament in front of him, and Youngmin kind of wants to bury a hole and stay there for the duration of his party or maybe the rest of his life, because did he just get kissed by a stranger who thought Youngmin was Romeo? From Romeo and Juliet?

 

What kind of drunk nutcase could he possibly be dealing with?

 

“Listen, I’m not Romeo, I’m Im Youngmin,” he attempts to correct the other, inwardly relieved that the drunk stranger hasn’t tried to kiss Youngmin again. Instead, he looks lost now, head tilted slightly and eyes dazed in drunken confusion. “Maybe I look like someone you’re… acting with or whatever, but it’s not me, got it?”

 

And, because Youngmin’s life is made of inopportune moments, that’s the exact moment that the guy chooses to pass out on him—eyes rolling backwards, body dropping unceremoniously to the ground before Youngmin even has the chance to react.

 

Thank goodness he chose a spot with a carpet as a place to pass out, because Youngmin doesn’t need ‘letting a guy fall to the cold hard ground’ weighing down on his already heavy conscience.

 

He can’t just go home like this, though. It wouldn’t be right to leave someone on the ground, even if it’s a padded floor because of the carpet, even if it’s the same someone who’d seriously weirded him out by kissing him and proceeding to act as if Youngmin’s playing Romeo in a warped version of Romeo and Juliet where the both of them are at an unglamorous college party. So, Youngmin awkwardly slings the guy’s arm across his shoulder, and rests an arm on his waist as he attempts to holster the drunk up.

 

It’s a tough job because the guy weighs heavier than he looks (which is odd because he seems to be more skin than bones, so maybe it’s lean muscle?), but he doesn’t receive any odd stares because everyone’s off in their own drunken worlds. Not for the first time tonight, Youngmin thanks the booze.

 

Why am I even doing this? Youngmin grimaces when he already feels the knots forming on his neck, and he knows he’s going to wake up all sore tomorrow because this is the closest thing he’s had to a workout in the span of thirteen months. Oh, right. It’s because I have a ‘saving people thing’, whatever that is. Daehwi, as a matter of fact, is the first person to point out said ‘saving people thing’ after he’d witnessed Youngmin give his packed lunch to a homeless man when the both of them had been strolling around Seoul. Daehwi said it because he knows that was the last food Youngmin’s got in his fridge, and Youngmin knows a ‘saving people thing’ is supposed to be positive, but right now, it’s just kind of… dumb. Heroic, but dumb.

 

The stranger’s given him more trouble than he’s worth, and yet, here is Youngmin, saving him from being a man floor at a party. He just hopes that when the stranger wakes up tomorrow, he’s not going to attempt to kiss Youngmin again or try to call him Romeo. Once was more than enough.

 

 

 

 

When the stranger wakes up, Youngmin’s already cooked breakfast for the both of them, a simple plate of sunny-side eggs and some rice on the side. Though Youngmin would usually save the eggs for a special occasion (and instead opting to have cereal for breakfast or something), he doesn’t want to seem rude, even if he’d already gone out of his way to bring the stranger back to his apartment after a completely unconventional first meeting.

 

He’d fix the stranger up some hangover soup if he actually had the ingredients. Alas, he doesn’t, so he can only hope the stranger likes his egg sunny-side up.

 

“Hey. Aspirin’s on the table.” Youngmin points at the assortment of pills, sending a smile that he hopes looks friendly at the stranger. The stranger returns it warily, and Youngmin feels a stab of relief, because at least he knows the stranger’s probably not the type to do the same things he’d done when he was drunk (possibly faced?) last night.

 

“Thank you,” croaks the stranger, and Youngmin winces. Must be one hell of a hangover.

 

“I, uh, cooked you some breakfast. It’s not much, though.” The stranger looks at the plates Youngmin’s conveniently placed on the small dinner table, and his face lights up in the first genuine smile Youngmin’s seen from him. It’s… admittedly a nice sight.

 

“Thank you,” he repeats once more, voice still throaty, but in slightly better condition now that he’s gotten more used to speaking. “Did we, um…? I mean I don’t think we did because I woke up wearing the same thing as I did yesterday, but, um.”

 

The stranger’s ears are red, and Youngmin isn’t looking much better either. Still, Youngmin gathers the courage needed to wave the stranger off, shaking his head in a negative. “No, we didn’t. You passed out, though, so I decided to bring you back. Hope it wasn’t a creepy move or whatever.”

 

“It wasn’t,” assures the stranger, and Youngmin feels a wave of comfort. There’s this kind of calming aura that surrounds him, and that itself makes it even more mind-boggling that this is the same person who’d kissed him and proceeded to address him as Romeo less than twelve hours ago. “I’m Donghyun.”

 

Youngmin outstretches his hand. Donghyun takes it in his, and Youngmin has to note how firm his grip is. Must be the muscles, then, because his sore shoulders are a reminder of how much effort it’d taken to drag Donghyun back to his dorm.

 

“Im Youngmin.”

 

 

 

 

juliet (8:09): hey :)

juliet (8:09): thanks again for earlier

juliet (8:10): you didn't have to go through all that trouble for me

paca hyung (8:11): it was the right thing to do so don't sweat it

paca hyung (8:12): even if you were a little heavy like dude what's your workout plan??

juliet (8:13): out of all the things you could've said

juliet (8:13): amazing

paca hyung (8:14): what? you're like a bulky juliet

juliet (8:14): STOP DON'T BRING THAT UP EVER AGAIN

juliet (8:15): i take back everything I've said you're mean

juliet (8:15): don't talk to me

paca hyung (8:16): ok...

juliet (8:16): I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY!!!

 

 

 

 

Over the course of the weekend, Youngmin learns several things about Donghyun.

 

The first (and most) important thing is that Donghyun’s normally a quiet person; reserved, even, kind of like Youngmin but with more friends because he’s an ambivert, apparently. Point is, Donghyun is more on the quiet side, and after learning what he’d done to Youngmin during their first meeting, he’d turned beet red and couldn’t look at Youngmin in the eyes for an hour.

 

That piece of information Youngmin figured when the both of them were at Youngmin’s apartment, just before Donghyun leaves Youngmin to go home, but not before putting in his number into Youngmin’s phone. It’s platonic, though. A hundred and one percent completely platonic because Donghyun says he’s straight.

 

Youngmin doesn’t push it because he knows his boundaries.

 

They do start texting, though, and that’s how Youngmin gets to know his new friend. Or acquaintance. He’s not sure where Donghyun falls on the spectrum, but he’d like to think they’re friends. Hopefully it’s not one-sided thinking on his part, because that’d be awkward, and Youngmin’s already a lump of awkwardness that he doesn’t know how he’d fair when faced with that confrontation.

 

He has his own reasons as to why they might be friends, though, because they’ve been texting near-nonstop for the past two days and by this point, Youngmin knows what’s Donghyun’s hobby (writing lyrics and making songs), his hometown (Daejeon, a little surprising because Youngmin would’ve thought Donghyun was a Seoul boy), and the name of the cacti he keeps next to his window (Jack.)

 

In return, he’s shared some things about himself to Donghyun too, like how he was in a band just a few weeks ago until they figured out things wasn’t working out, to stories of how he used to help his parents out in their tomato farm back in Busan. Donghyun’s a good listener (through text, if that’s a thing, and Youngmin’s going to pretend that it is), always commenting during the right moments and staying silent otherwise.

 

Donghyun is nice, and Youngmin kind of likes being friends with him, even if so far their real life interaction consists of Youngmin helping Donghyun nurse his hangover after their disastrous first meeting. A little unconventional and maybe more than a little backwards, but it’s the company that matters.

 

As far as Youngmin’s concerned, Donghyun is wonderful company.

 

 

 

 

There’s a new movie playing in town. Something about aliens, because almost everything’s about aliens nowadays, and everyone on campus is talking about it because the lead actress is from South Korea. National pride and everything.

 

It doesn’t hurt that the movie has a rating of over 80% on Rotten Tomatoes, so that’s got to mean it’s a decent watch.

 

The first person he asks to accompany him is Woojin, partly because the both of them go way back but also because Youngmin’s seen Woojin’s wallpaper; it’s a candid of the actress, so Youngmin’s sure the kid was waiting to watch it, too.

 

Only, there’s one problem.

 

“Sorry, hyung. I’ve already promised Jihoon I was going to watch it with him.”

 

An odd expression crosses Youngmin’s face. “Wait, Daehwi’s friend Jihoon? Your Park family name twin Park Jihoon?”

 

Woojin nods, seemingly uneasy. “Yeah, with him. I’ve already planned this with him since last week.” That must mean they’ve been waiting for a while, because the movie only started playing yesterday.

 

“Okay then, I guess.” Woojin sags in relief, and Youngmin, protective older friend instincts kicking in, senses that something might be going on over here. “Are the two of you seeing each other or something? Because I thought you were with Hyungseob.”

 

“It’s not like that—”

 

“Sure it isn’t.”

 

“—okay fine, so maybe it’s a little like that, but it’s not serious or anything. It’s just one date, and Jihoon… well, Jihoon’s cute.” Woojin shrugs weakly, as if that rectifies everything, but Youngmin frowns in an almost disapproving manner. To bystanders, this might seem like a scene out of a teenager movie, like a father scolding his son for sneaking out at night for a party. Except this kind of party is one with only two people, one of which Youngmin’s never actually spoken to before, so he thinks his worry is well placed.

 

Something in Woojin’s expression softens after he notices the way Youngmin’s brow twitches whenever he’s worried, and Youngmin’s not sure whether to be horrified or proud that Woojin knows him well enough to the point he can read his body language. “Hyung, I’m going to be fine. Just because you’re playing babysitter for me doesn’t mean I’m still a kid, okay? I can make my own decisions, and it’s just a date, it’s not like I’m going to drag Jihoon off to Vegas where we’ll wake up the next day with a marriage certificate.”

 

Youngmin certainly doesn’t need that mental image.

 

After Woojin’s crossed out off the (very) short list of the people Youngmin could ask to go to the movies with, his next choice is Daehwi, obviously, but that plan’s also botched when Daehwi informs him that he’s out of town that week. Apparently, he’s in America to visit his mother, and he’ll be back in two weeks. Youngmin would ask ‘but what about your assignments’, but Daehwi is Daehwi, who is scarily efficient and terrifyingly smart, so he retracts that after realizing that, as far as questions go, is a pretty stupid one.

 

In the end, after figuring out two of his favourite juniors (he’d call them youngsters but that’d make him sound way too old for his age) were unable to make it, he’d decided—after brief contemplation on his part—to ask Donghyun.

 

Brief contemplation because they’ve only known each other for less than a week, and despite the fact their Snapchat streak’s still going on until this day, Youngmin’s not sure if Donghyun would consider them as close enough friends to hang out with each other. It’s silly, because when he confesses this to Daehwi, all he gets is a text that says ‘lol you guys have a snapchat streak for over five days isn’t that a sign of friendship??’ which Youngmin leaves on read because Daehwi’s got a good point and yet, Youngmin still worries.

 

(He knows he should really stop worrying over the most trivial things, but Youngmin can’t help it. He’s a natural worrier and all the stress and anxiety piling up doesn’t exactly help.)

 

paca hyung (11:13): are you free tomorrow?

juliet (11:13): hello to you too hyung

paca hyung (11:14): …

paca hyung (11:14): hi donghyun

paca hyung (11:14): are you free tomorrow? (2)

juliet (11:15): i am!!! why do you ask?

paca hyung (11:16): do you want to watch a movie w/ me?

paca hyung (11:16): ‘the alien way’

paca hyung (11:17): i think that’s what it’s called

juliet (11:17): ok! i’ve been meaning to watch it anyway

juliet (11:18): meet you at the cinema tomorrow? what time?

 

(Youngmin checks the time of the screenings on his laptop. His eyes squint as they adjust to the brightness, but he sees well enough, considering he’s wearing his glasses right now. Those are more comfortable than the contact lenses he usually wears.)

 

paca hyung (11:20): around 2pm?

juliet (11:20): call!!! i’ll see you tomorrow, hyung!!

 

Well. That wasn’t as big of a disaster as he’d imagined it’d be. 

 

 

 

 

Whatever it is he’d been expecting Donghyun to say to him, it definitely isn’t what he does end up saying, which is an unimpressed, “Do you have a thing for layered shirts, hyung?”

 

Youngmin feels the tips of his ears burn. He remembers vaguely, though the moment’s more than a little shaky by now (he’s never been the one to have the strongest memory) wearing a layered shirt the first morning he met Donghyun. Sober Donghyun anyway. It’s not the same shirts as he’s wearing now though, and maybe the difference of the shade isn’t anything overly life-changing, but the colours are different enough to make it evident that Youngmin spices things up using a variety of colours.

 

(“These are all shades of red. Or white, I didn’t even think that was possible,” Daehwi once said, giving his wardrobe a scrutinizing look that made Youngmin feel as if his clothes were being inspected by a literal fashion police. And he might’ve gotten on the wrong side of said police officer. “How do you even call this a variety?”

 

He might’ve looked properly chastised after that, and Woojin’s sniggers were pointedly ignored.)

  

“It’s my style,” he defends, almost weakly.

 

Donghyun chuckles. Idly, Youngmin notices he doesn’t look half bad even though he’s donned in a simple striped shirt and plain black pants. “Don’t worry, I didn’t mean it negatively or anything. I was just making an observation, so don’t take it the wrong way, hyung. There’s nothing wrong with layered shirts.”

 

“Sorry,” Youngmin offers, and Donghyun shrugs.

 

“It’s cool. Where are we sitting, by the way?”

 

Oh, right. Tickets. Youngmin fishes the two pieces of paper out from his pocket, and hands them over to an expectant Donghyun. It’s a good thing Youngmin knows a guy who works at the cinema, and therefore, was able to reserve tickets through him. Maybe not the fairest move, but Youngmin pays for the tickets (well, he will pay for them when he meets the guy in class later). It’s not like there’s a law stating this isn’t allowed or anything, so Youngmin’s not too bothered by using up his favors and connections.

 

(Connections. Way to make himself sound like a social butterfly when Youngmin knowing the right guy’s just the result of plain luck.)

 

Donghyun does a low whistle. It sounds pleasant, but then again, Donghyun’s voice is nice to listen to in general. Kind of makes Youngmin look back to the days of the band and what could’ve been, because although Donghyun is no Daehwi, Donghyun is Donghyun. Everyone’s got different strengths and Youngmin wishes he knows how Donghyun sounds like when he’s singing. Maybe if they’d met earlier, Youngmin would’ve asked Donghyun to join the band, and things could’ve worked out.

 

Or, an alternative result: things would’ve stayed the same even with the addition of one, because that’s just the way life works. Some things work, other things don’t. A successful life’s only the result of trial and error, though a pinch of luck wouldn’t hurt. (That’s exactly why Youngmin hopes he’s got at least some luck on his side; it’d be nice to actually achieve his dream and make sure the past few years haven’t been a total waste.)

 

“You got us some pretty nice seats.” Donghyun passes the tickets back to him. “Hey, let’s go grab some popcorn. My treat. Do you prefer butter or caramel?”

 

“Butter.”

 

“What are the odds, me too. I’ll buy a bucket for us to share, then. Unless you hog the popcorn. Do you hug the popcorn, though?" Donghyun's brows are knitted together because he's asking a Very Serious question right now, his lips twisted into what Donghyun might think to be a frown, but ends up looking more like a pout. Not for the first time, Youngmin thinks he might be one of the cutest people he's ever met. (Fine, there's not really a lot to choose from, but it's the thought that counts.)

 

"I don't think so?"

 

"Huh." Donghyun hums. "I'll hold you to that."

 

 

 

 

The bucket of popcorn is wedged between the both of them, Youngmin having gotten an idea to place it on their shared armrest. It’s not the most comfortable position, but at least neither of them get to hog the popcorn, and Donghyun seems to care more about sharing the food equally rather than his own comfort while watching a movie that’s nearly three hours long.

 

(Youngmin checks the duration of a movie before he watches them—it’s comforting, and he can estimate when he’ll eventually have to get back home and return to the mundane life of composing and surviving off ty coffee.)

 

Donghyun makes for a nice movie watching companion. He doesn’t talk much, instead choosing to focus his attention on the screen. He doesn’t ask for spoilers or anything, doesn’t even check his phone. In one occasion, Youngmin feels the buzz of Donghyun’s phone’s vibration, but the other doesn’t bother to lift it from his lap (it’s face-down.)

 

That’s kind of nice, if a little worrying because what if it was something important someone was trying to tell Donghyun? Though he brushes off the worry when he reminds himself that it’s Donghyun’s problems, not his, and he has enough of his own worries to worry about.

 

Point is, Donghyun makes for a nice movie watching companion, and Youngmin thinks he might want to do this again sometimes. It’s like a breath of fresh air when he compares it to watching movies with Woojin, who’s usually talking miles and miles per hour, and Daehwi, who has a much different taste in movies than Youngmin. Daehwi checks his phone throughout Youngmin’s choices just as Youngmin sleeps through Daehwi’s movie selection, so it’s fair game and there’s no malice behind it whatsoever.

 

So, yeah. This is kind of nice.

 

 

 

 

It becomes a regular occurrence, and Youngmin’s not sure when him and Donghyun started becoming comfortable enough to drop by each other’s places unannounced (it helps that they apparently live in the same building, only on different floors and that makes visiting so much easier) but it does start three weeks or so after their initial meeting. The both of them become fast friends, and Donghyun makes Youngmin feel comfortable in a way that neither Daehwi nor Woojin have been able to. Being with Donghyun makes Youngmin feel like he’s back in Busan, and that’s weird because Donghyun’s satoori is a poor imitation of Youngmin’s and he’s never been out of Daejeon nor Seoul, but there’s just something about Donghyun that makes Youngmin feels like he’s home.

 

That’s in a totally platonic way, of course. Youngmin might be openly bi and has dated his fair share of both guys and girls, but as far as he knows, Donghyun’s completely, inexplicably hetero. Apparently it’s because Donghyun’s been conditioned since he was a kid that a guy was only supposed to be with a girl, having a religious family and everything, and by the time people would start trying to experiment with their uality or something, Donghyun’s mind was already made up.

 

He doesn’t judge Youngmin, though. Youngmin’s confided this to Donghyun during the beginning of their friendship, on the same morning that Donghyun woke up on Youngmin’s bed (Youngmin had taken the couch and it wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as Woojin makes it out to be) and had to explain the awkward chain of events the previous night—and in the end, instead of turning him away and sprinting out of Youngmin’s room as soon as Donghyun learns of Youngmin’s uality, the guy just nods and keeps a smile on his face, still.

 

(“I’d like to pride myself for being pretty open minded. In accepting other people’s preferences, I mean. It’s the twenty first century, right?”

 

And, well, Youngmin kind of decided right then and there that Donghyun was a good person.)

 

Tonight, the both of them are sprawled on Donghyun’s couch, the television showing their movie selection, Prisoner of Azkaban. Donghyun’s watched this at least a million times (or so he says), but this is Youngmin’s first time watching. They’ve been here for hours now, going through the Harry Potter movies because apparently Youngmin’s lack of Harry Potter experience is a sad, sad story that needs to be amended immediately.

 

Youngmin goes with it, even if he didn’t see the hype (that’s starting to change, but don’t let Donghyun know that or he’ll never live it down) because it was Donghyun’s idea. That’s as good of a reasoning as any, right?

 

“I’m getting sleepy,” Youngmin admits when they’re halfway done with the movie. Still, there are five more to go, but the clock’s already showing that it’s past midnight and Youngmin’s eyelids are getting too heavy.

 

“Weak,” teases Donghyun, though judging by the heaviness of his voice, Youngmin deduces that he’s stifling a yawn. (A few moments later, he’s proven correct.)

 

“We could continue this tomorrow, you know,” Youngmin begins. He looks at Donghyun who’s nodding off already, and his eyes soften. “It’s a weekend. We don’t have to finish all of this in one go.”

 

Donghyun doesn’t say anything afterwards, only making a small grunt that Youngmin’s not sure whether that’s agreement or denial. He doesn’t dwell on it though, because the movie’s getting to the good part, and Youngmin doesn’t want to miss it.

 

(Spoiler alert: he doesn’t miss that scene, but he misses the scene after that. He’s unable to fend off his need for sleep anymore, so he dozes off. Youngmin doesn’t notice that Donghyun’s already asleep even before him, breathing controlled and perfectly even.)

 

They wake up the next morning, limbs tangled and Youngmin feels a crick in his neck because Donghyun had used it as a convenient place to lean on sometime during his sleep. It’s kind of worth it though, because Donghyun looks so peaceful and content when he’s sleeping that even Youngmin, whose neck is seriously beginning to ache (nothing mortally dangerous, only the kind of soreness that’ll go away if he looks up acupuncture points later) doesn’t dare to move a muscle.

 

When Donghyun finally wakes up, Youngmin doesn’t miss the way Donghyun tenses, as if he’d just realized he’d done something that might not have been the ‘straightest’ thing to do. (Which is kind of bull, because it’s not like they’d kissed or anything, it was just cuddling. There’s nothing wrong with bros cuddling, really.)

 

“Good morning, sunshine.” Youngmin cracks a grin. It’s one that Donghyun returns weakly.

 

They don’t talk about it.

 

 

 

 

fashionista (18:00): HYUNG WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU MADE A NEW FRIEND D:

fashionista (18:01): i can’t believe i heard about this from samuel

fashionista (18:01): I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS DD:

paca hyung (18:02): um

paca hyung (18:02): what

fashionista (18:03): don’t what me >:(

fashionista (18:03): i’m talking about you and donghyun hyung??? (duh???)

paca hyung (18:04): oh donghyunnie

fashionista (18:04): YOU GUYS HAVE PETNAMES?

paca hyung (18:05): daehwi chill it’s the same way i call woojin woojinie

paca hyung (18:05): wait i also call him by kid a lot too idk

fashionista (18:06): ugh wait

fashionista has added won stealer to this chat

won stealer (18:07): what up my dudes

fashionista (18:08): youngmin hyung has a new friend!!! and he didn’t tell us!!!

won stealer (18:09): uhhh way to go for making a new friend youngmin hyung?

fashionista (18:09): why

won stealer (18:09): why not

fashionista (18:10): ANYWAYS

fashionista (18:10): i want to meet your new friend!!! hyung, introduce us!

won stealer (18:11): why am i included

fashionista (18:12): OH I KNOW how about you take him to our karaoke bar! it’ll be fun!

paca hyung (18:13): pretty sure i don’t have much of a choice daehwi you’re a man on a mission aren’t you

fashionista (18:14): indeed >:)

won stealer (18:15): can someone please explain to me what’s going on

fashionista (18:16): it’s me wondering what jihoon and hyungseob see in you

 

 

 

 

When the band was still a thing, aside from the coffee shop, Youngmin still remembers the three of them hanging out in a karaoke place located right next to a hole in the wall chicken wings restaurant. It’d been a weekly ritual of theirs, usually every Friday because they need some time to unwind and what better way to do it than indulge in some silly singing (or in Youngmin and Woojin’s case, rapping or doing a weird, offkey thing that they can’t even call singing) together?

 

“I’ve never been to this area of town before.” Donghyun’s looking around the alleys in awe, taking in the sight of the brick red washed buildings all cramped together, little signs hanging off some places, some of them fluorescent. Some of the kids call this the ‘edgier’ part of the city that surrounds the campus, the kind of place that the artsy students with the tortured souls would find solace in some of the cafés scattered around. The cafés in question offer a decent view, decent coffee, and decent company. Youngmin would know, considering he’s gone to every single one of them during exams rush.

 

“You’re a sophomore. I’m sure there are lots of things you still don’t know,” Youngmin teases Donghyun, all bark and no bite. Donghyun scoffs in return, but the good natured grin is still on his lips and his eyes are still sparkling with unrestrained mirth.

 

(Here, Youngmin wishes he had a polaroid, because that’s a pretty sight and he wants to take a picture of it—of Donghyun smiling and looking like everything’s alright in the world even if everything isn’t—because this moment is something he wants to remember for a long, long time.)

 

“Yeah? Like what?” Donghyun challenges, raising a brow at Youngmin expectantly.

 

“Like the fact that you feel a lot like home,” is what Youngmin wants to say, but Donghyun might think Youngmin’s hitting on him, and Youngmin definitely isn’t. Donghyun’s just a friend. A really, really nice friend that Youngmin’s nowhere short of adoring, but that’s it. A friend. A bro, if he must call him that. So, instead of blurting that out and unintentionally starting either a rift or a heart to heart, Youngmin shrugs. “Like, things.”

 

“Very helpful,” Donghyun deadpans.

 

“We’re here!” Youngmin willfully ignores how unimpressed Donghyun is by his lackadaisical answer, instead holding the door to the karaoke open for him. The cool breeze from inside is alluring, considering they’d walked all the way there and it feels like it’s a hundred degrees or something, and the karaoke place also smells like popcorn, soda, beer, and whatever snacks karaoke places usually serve. (It’s been a while, okay? Youngmin’s memory is, he repeats, not the best.)

 

Woojin and Daehwi are supposed to be there already, so Youngmin leads Donghyun to his usual room (it’s practically designated by now), and even when the both of them are right outside the door, they can already hear noises coming from inside, meaning Youngmin recognizes Woojin’s attempt at a high note and Daehwi’s uncontrolled laughter.

 

“Yup, those are my friends,” Youngmin mutters under his breath.

 

“They sound lively,” Donghyun comments off-handedly. His hand’s on the doorknob, but he’s waiting for Youngmin’s ‘okay’ to open it, and that’s probably made it onto Youngmin’s list of the most thoughtful things anyone’s ever done for him.

 

“You have no idea.” Youngmin shakes his head, a fond grin on his lips. “Time to join the fray, buddy.”

 

“No, not the fray. Anything but the fray.” Donghyun puts his free hand over his chest, face morphed into what looks like a face someone would be wearing had Youngmin just insulted their mother.

 

“Just open the door, Donghyun.” Youngmin’s exasperation is evident, but his gaze remains warm. There might be something other than simple camaraderie hidden beneath its brown hues, but if there is, neither of them notice.

 

 

 

 

Three things. There are three things Youngmin finds out about during the group’s karaoke slash meet Youngmin’s new (and possibly only when he discounts Woojin and Daehwi) friend, which are:

 

First, Daehwi is an expert at embarrassing Youngmin. This is the most painful one, because apparently Daehwi knows about all of Youngmin’s embarrassing stories (probably got some of them from Woojin, if the guilty look in Woojin’s face is any indication) and he isn’t afraid to share one or two to lighten the mood at Youngmin’s expense. At one point, Daehwi told Donghyun about the time Youngmin accidentally sent a t to his uncle instead of his boyfriend-now-ex (who coincidentally had the same name of his uncle, which, now that he thinks about it, is pretty ing weird) and Youngmin has absolutely no idea where Daehwi got that story from because he’s pretty sure Woojin hadn’t been present at the time that catastrophe blew up full scale.

 

Daehwi is terrifying, and Youngmin (slightly, somewhat, very lowkey-ly) fears him. Hell, if Daehwi puts his mind to it, Youngmin’s pretty sure the kid could rule the world over a weekend.

 

The second thing, and this is much less terrifying than the first but also much more interesting, is figuring out that Woojin is in some kind of love triangle between Jihoon and Hyungseob. Being the supportive older brother figure he is, the first thing Youngmin said after finding out that Woojin was torn between the two boys had been, “Wow? You of all people?” and that’d granted a round of laughter from Daehwi, a pout from Woojin, and a light slap on his shoulder from Donghyun.

 

“He has love problems, Youngmin, this isn’t really the time for comments like that,” Donghyun had chastised, and Youngmin shut up afterwards. Woojin seemed smug, at least, until Donghyun spoke again. “Doesn’t mean I’m completely disagreeing with what Youngmin said, though. I mean, Park Jihoon? Really?”

 

Woojin’s situation is messy, because Jihoon likes Woojin, but Hyungseob also likes Woojin (maybe has been liking him for a while now, Youngmin’s not oblivious to the lovesick stares Woojin receives from Hyungseob whenever the three of them hang out). Woojin likes both of them, and is no