taeyong's

it's so hard, isn't it? loving someone from afar, secretly? afraid of what's going to happen. afraid of the result if you confess to them. because, goddamn it. i couldn't handle it anymore. 

i told promised myself as a leader, i wouldn't let me fall in love with someone yet. but after a year since our debut, i suddenly broke that promise. ever since i saw him doing what he loves to do. i suddenly fell in love with him. 

jung jaehyun. jaehyun as we all know him, is the guy who i'm talking about. the guy i fell in love with. i tried keeping it all to myself. i love it when he touches me, but not in a bad way. his soft touch, soft voice, and kind words gives me hope to go through the day. 

when i want to give up and all, he's been there for me when no one else was. he's been there for me ever since our trainee days. we've been there for each other. but few months after our debut, he's been clingy towards someone. not to me, anymore.

to doyoung. i don't know what happened. i don't know what happened to us. we suddenly stopped talking to each other. i was not confident enough to ask him why he suddenly start ignoring me, well we DO talk, if it's about business and such. but not during our breaks anymore. 

so that's why, i've been picking up some courage to confess to him. and now that i've gathered all— well some, i can already confess properly to him. i was planning to confess after we finish practicing. 

we're having our water break right now, but i still see him practicing his vocals with taeil hyung. i think sm planned them to have a duet? i don't know. i'm not on my own mind lately. 

my thoughts were interrupted when mark suddenly sat down and spoke,

"hyung, do you already know about it?" 

i can feel my heart beating so fast...what is it about? 

i arched my brows together in confusion. i saw mark widened his eyes.

"well, i'm not in the proper place to talk about it. just ask him" mark said.

"who?" i asked confusingly, who is he talking about?

and why is my heart seriously beating so fast than it's supposed to be?

is there something i should know that could make my heart break?

"him" mark said emphasizing the word HIM while darting his eyes towards jaehyun.

, what's up with jaehyun?

out of curiosity, i called jaehyun out and told him to follow me outside of the practice room. this is the right time to ask him why did he suddenly stopped talking to me.

"what is it, taeyong?" jaehyun asked.

"i wanted to ask something very important, i've been itching to ask you this" i said.

i saw him nod and muttured 'go on', i took a deep b