Summer flew by fast and I am a completely different person again. I am back to being that always too loud, always smiling, a little annoying but lovable either way, kind of person and honestly, I more than relieved of so.

My positivity coming back to me is almost as good as my mother and sister coming back to life. It feels nice, it gives me so much energy yet eases me. It keeps me sane. I now live normally again, like I never had a life-threatening heart disease in the first place.

Sure, I still get that pain in my chest but it’s normal. I am only still getting better anyway, that doesn’t mean I am fully recovered though with the assurance of my doctor, hope is no longer a blur and I feel as though it is shining down on me, bright and crystal clear.

Things seem to be going in my favor too. The university I picked first and had really wanted accepted me and I get to take a degree program that I am most interested in. I’m finally getting out of the house to actually go shopping, to get some coffee or simply take a stroll. I smile a lot more and laugh louder too.

In the middle of summer, I had made friends with someone after so long in the public library. Her name is Youngji, she’s the same age as I am, we seem to read the same books and coincidentally, we’ll be going to the same university as well. It would’ve been nice if we were taking the same degree program too but I was glad about it either way because at least I wasn’t entering college without really knowing anyone.

We became close almost immediately and even went to each other’s places to help the other sort out our things as our university requires us to stay in dorms. Right now, as I am sitting in front of my mirror, staring at myself, she barges into my room all of a sudden.

She is all smiles as she walks to my bed and lays there as if it is her own. I don’t even look away from my reflection. I have a hand to my chest, that little ache beginning to hurt much more because of how nervous I am. I take in a deep breath, the quietness in my room suddenly feeling suffocating. Gladly, Youngji’s voice breaks through it.

“Hey, are you okay?” she says, worry painting her face as I look at her through my vanity mirror. She doesn’t know about my condition. I don’t know how to tell her and I’m not sure if I ever want to. My parents, as happy as they are that I am myself again after four years, has told me that she should know but after telling them my fears about it, they merely sighed, nodding in understanding.

So I take my hand off my still aching chest and pull my lips into a smile. I shake my head at her reassuringly. “Just slightly nervous. Ya know, new environment and all.” I shrug, then pick my bag up from the foot of my bed and smack her leg to make her get up.

Youngji glares at me when she stands up and I stick my tongue out at her. She starts laughing just as I run away to escape her attack. The rest of my luggage are already downstairs and I’m sure Youngji’s are too. My father offered to drive us both to university today and my step mother is coming too so she can “send me off.”

The car, which is usually quiet with just the three of us, is now filled with merry laughter and a bit of bickering on our parts. We’re both in the back seat, conversing about this new song that we like when the car stops at a red light. At the corner of my eye, I can see my father looking at us through the rear-view mirror and smiling.

Youngji takes this opportunity to thank the two adults for taking her with us since both her parents aren’t back from their trip yet. “No problem, Youngji. You’re like a sister to Ha Eun now so you’re our family too,” my step mother says, making Youngji smile brighter than ever. “You’re too sweet Mrs. Song.”

Their conversation ends when she smiles as a response and the car starts to move again. We are back to talking and for what only seemed like a minute, we see the huge gates of our new university up ahead. Youngji and I automatically hold hands, both grinning excitedly.

When we get in past the gates, we see a lot of other college freshmen lugging their suit cases and bidding their parents goodbye, some greeting their friends from a higher year. It’s loud and crowded outside the car, girls are squealing and running to their best friend and a group of guys are laughing boisterously.

I shake my head at the chaos, setting down the last of my luggage on the pavement. Youngji’s eyes are roaming excitedly around the new campus while I stare at both my parents, unsure of how to part ways with them. They know I absolutely hate goodbyes so that word is basically banned. It is weird not saying anything though so instead, I awkwardly lift my hand up and wave at them.

They are both staring at me tenderly, like any parent would when they realize their little girl is all grown up. It is slightly embarrassing but touching either way. I tug my lips into a small smile, thinking it wouldn’t hurt to give them a quick hug before they really leave. After tight hugs and a warning to be careful, they are off.

I take deep breath as I watch the car drive away and become a small dot. By that time, a significant amount of the students has already retreated into the dorms. Youngji is just grinning at me. “Ready?” she says. I place a hand on my chest again as I always do, take another deep breath then smile. “As I’ll ever be”

I have my class syllabus and room assignment in one hand, reading through it as I drag my suitcase behind me and adjust the shoulder strap of my duffel bag. My room is J05 and Youngji’s is about two more dorms down. I pout, slightly disappointed that we’re not roommates either.

“Well, I can visit you in your room or you can visit mine!” she says, always so bright and cheerful. I merely nod in reply before staring up at the silver plaque on the door. “This is me,” I tell her, my hand already on the doorknob. “Alright. Go get settled in and we’ll meet later for the assembly.” She waves her had like a little kid as she walks backwards. I am shaking my head, folding my syllabus and putting it into my pocket.

I am about to take my keys out when the door suddenly opens and since I had a hand on the doorknob, I stumble forward. A girl with auburn hair and cherry red lips looks at me with wide eyes. “Oh! Are you my roommate?” I blink at her, awkwardly taking my hand off the doorknob. I nod and offer my hand. “Ha Eun.” She gladly accepts it. “I’m Soo Won!”

Her smile is dazzling and I honestly want to cover my eyes because of how bright it is. She seems just as cheerful as Youngji all the time and already, I can tell that the two girls would get along just fine. She pulls me into our room, sheepishly smiling at me as she explains that she took the bed near the window already since I wasn’t here yet.

I shake my head, telling her that I don’t mind and it’s okay. My eyes roam about our dorm room, surveying it. It is really fit for just two people. There is a bathroom, two closets and two desks. I like the simple interior. Too girly for my taste, but still pleasant either way.

I set my bags on the floor and Soo Won helps me with my things since she’s already settled in. While we are taking my clothes out of my suitcase, she talks about the assembly that all freshmen are supposed to attend. “It’s really just some sort of welcoming ceremony where we’re introduce to the school, it’s rules, it’s history, the faculty for each department and all that.”