"Can I sit beside you?"

That was the first question that Jinyoung ever asked Jihoon. Not 'what's your name?' or 'do you like cats or dogs?' and it was not a weird question but he was expecting to be asked any of the latter questions. This was during their practice for the re-evaluation. Jihoon looked up and smiled softly at the owner of the voice. He was still fairly new to him and as far as he remember that's the first time Jinyoung ever talked to him. He noticed how this Jinyoung guy is always quiet, with his head always hung low. 

"You don't have to ask." He said chuckling a bit. 

"Oh- uh, sorry..." Jinyoung apologized quickly, embarrassment evident on his face.

"Oh no don't worry. I didn't mean to intimidate you." Jihoon reassured, genuinely worried about how Jinyoung misunderstood his over-friendliness (and possibly creating a bad first impression, which is not good if he still wants to interact with the guy.) "Go ahead, sit." Jihoon said patting the space beside him.

It was very faint but Jinyoung was still able to mutter a small "thanks" to which Jihoon just smiled as a response.

-

"Can...Can I practice with you later?"

Jinyoung asked days later while they were having a short break. Despite the 5 days that had passed, Jinyoung still found it hard to talk to a lot of trainees (including Jihoon of course) and was only comfortable with a few of them. Jihoon smiled at him though Jinyoung wasn't looking up at all. Jihoon had always wanted to talk to the shy guy but he figured out that Jinyoung isn't comfortable with him and so he secretly feels happy whenever Jinyoung approaches him first. 

"Yeah why not?" Jihoon replied almost sounding excited. He hopes Jinyoung didn't notice this, which is actually probably the case because Jinyoung was still looking down.

-

"Can I sleep beside you?" 

Jinyoung asked after more days have passed since the program started. They were teammates for the first time for Boy In Luv and Jihoon was honestly happy but also didn't know whether to say it or not. Do you just come up to him and be like 'hey you know what, i'm really happy we're groupmates'? No that's just weird (he's actually just insecure but he doesn't want to admit that). He'll wait a bit longer to initiate the conversations. For now it's already enough that Jinyoung's asking him if they could sleep together. Wait what.

Jihoon shot him a questioning look. "What?" He asked just to asked just to make sure.

"I asked if I could sleep with you I mean-" Jinyoung said again but his tone had a bit of embarrassment unlike the first time he asked.

"Why though?" The fact that he asked to sleep with him was a bit weird, yes, but more than that he was expecting Jinyoung to ask the queston to a particular someone like Daehwi since they're closer.

"I don't really like sleeping at the top part..." He answered going quiet while doing so.

"Heh, why not? C'mere." Jihoon chuckled not bothering to question the guy any further. He doesn't want this to feel like an interrogation though he was really curious why he would ask him instead of Daehwi. And also he found it cute, his request that is...and maybe the person who asked the question. 

Jinyoung mutter a "thanks" and it was a little louder this time.

-

"Can you carry me then hyung?" 

Jinyoung asked almost sounding as if he was challenging Jinyoung whilst laughing. They were in the middle of their break and instead of resting, they decided to play and fool around. It was a bad decision honestly, well physically it was a bad decision since it's just going to tire them more but emotionally, they felt really happy despite with what's happening during the show. 

It has also been several weeks since the show started. Whithin those weeks, Jinyoung and Jihoon managed to grow comfortable with each other. 

"Okay why not?" Jihoon answered confidently, playing along, This shows how close they have become, almost like brothers.

The others cheered at Jihoon's answer. "Oh really?" Jinyoung said jokingly but proceeded to jump on Jihoon's back anyway causing the two to fall which earned them laughs from the others. 

-

"Can you love me back?"

Jinyoung muttered in his sleep. 

Jihoon looked at him, checking if he was awake or not. I mean who asks someone to love them back? Moreover while sleeping. Was he dreaming about someone?

The question was weird. So weird. And it's weirder how Jihoon felt like his heart was ripped into pieces. It was weird...because who gets hurt at such question anyway? Jihoon decides he was the weird one and pushed the feeling aside. He was hurt because he felt sorry for Jinyoung, not because...

-

More weeks have passed and in those weeks, Jinyoung and Daehwi became much closer. Jihoon noticed this and he felt that weird feeling again. Stupid weird, nameless feeling. 

"it's called 'jealousy' hyung." Samuel said rolling his eyes at how Jihoon explained the 'weird' feeling. Jihoon was astonished. What's so special with this feeling that it even has a name. and it's called 'jealousy'? 

"Me? Jealous?" He said chuckling at the absurd accusation of Samuel. "Yeah, what else could you be feeling?" Samuel confirms, rolling his eyes again and Jihoon slaps him playfully for the 'disrespect' the younger guy is showing. He doesn't notice the meaningful stare Jinyoung was giving them. 

-

"Can I hug you?" 

Jinyoung asks. Instead of shooting him a questioning look, Jihoon looked at him excitedly, unable to mask his feelings. Jinyoung doesn't notice this. Well Jihoon hopes so at least and quickly changed his expression into a questioning one which is what he's actually supposed to show. 

"What?" Jihoon asks though he heard the question clearly.

"I want to hug you, can I?" Jinyoung said nonchalantly unlike before and Jihoon was honestly proud of the development of his friend and though he wanted to ask why, he decided against it.

"Yeah, of course, why not?" He agreed happily opening his arms... just like what a brother would do. 

-

"Can I bite you?"

Brothers....they were supposed to be like brothers but Jihoon wonders where the feeling of brotherhood went as Jinyoung asks a rather peculiar question and as he notices how his own heart started beating faster.

He ignored it the first time it happened (which is when Jinyoung asked if he can hug the older) but he can't ignore it now that it happened twice. Does your heart beat faster when a brother asks you something? No of course, that would be ...and gay. Was he gay? For Jinyoung?

"Yeah, why not. Just once." Jihoon agreed easily. Honestly Jinyoung can ask him to rob a bank and Jihoon would willingly agree with a loving a smile. 

Jinyoung bites Jihoon's arm and hurriedly runs away. Though he was literally just bitten, Jihoon's loving stare didn't disappear and he ignores the glances Woojin and Jisung was shooting him. 

"Whipped." Jisung mutters looking at him while Woojin nods his head agreeing with the eldest. Jihoon looks at the two with judging eyes (that looked weird by the way, with his smile still plastered on his face probably because of what just happened). 

"You," Jisung says pointing at Jihoon "to him," he says again pointing to Jinyoung this time who quickly looked away because he was actually looking at them the entire time. "whipped." Jisung finishes with a knowing look and smirk. Before Jihoon can hit the two, they ran away first while obnoxiously shouting about Jihoon's whipped state to which he just shook his head. He's not whipped. He can't be whipped.

-

Scratch that. He's definitely whipped. He realizes this as the 'weird' feeling hits him again (he refuses to call it jealousy) seeing Jinyoung hugging Daehwi while laughing at whatever the younger said. 

He realizes this as he kinda wished he was in Daehwi's place and was willing to do anything to be in Daehwi's place.

"Still not conviced you're jealous?" He hears a voice say. Said voice weirdly sounded like Samuel's and oh look, it is Samuel.

"Shut up." He mutters firmly. "Not denying it this time?" Samuels says while smirking. 

"Oh i'll deny something. I'll deny your existence." Jihoon says rolling his eyes and shoving his dongsaeng out.

"Ooh that hurts." Samuels says faking a hurt expression and Jihoon chuckled at this. And he misses the look Jinyoung was giving them again.

-

"What do you think?" Jihoon seriously asks Samuel while having their lunch. 

"Pretty stupid." Samuel answers not looking up from his food. Jihoon shoves him out of his seat in annoyance.

"Ugh what?" Samuel groans while standing and sitting back again. 

"Okay you really think it's a brilliant plan?" Samuel asks being serious this time. Before Jihoon could firmly agree, Samuel cuts him off. "Hyung, do you really think ignoring Jinyoung hyung just because you feel jealous is a good plan?" Jihoon agrees it's not really the best plan out there. He sighed disappointedly.

"I have an alternative." Samuel says not looking up again, finishing the last of his food first. Jihoon looks at him expectantly.

"How 'bout you actually talk to him about it?" Samuel suggests, completely opposite to the plan of Jihoon. "What did I even expect." He says while rolling his eyes.

"You'll be thanking me later on." Samuel says confidently, standng up to return his tray and Jihoon following him even though he hasn't finished his food.

"By the way," Jihoon says "you didn't call Daehwi 'hyung'" he points out. 

"Oh..." He lets out, grinning sheepishly. "How can I even trust you." Jihoon mutters while shaking his head.

-

And so since Jihoon thinks Samuel can't be trusted, he proceeded with his own plan. 

"So, did your stupid plan work?" Samuel asks, muttering the 'stupid plan' part, after several days of Jihoon ignoring Jinyoung. 

"I heard that you brat." he says "and yes, it's working for your information." he lies because everything actually worsened. He continued feeling jealous (wow, he actually acknowledged the fact that he's jealous) because now Jinyoung and Daehwi are closer than ever. 

"Liar" Samuel accuses "I see the way you look at him hyung." 

"...I don't really know anymore. What else do I have to do?" Jihoon doesn't disagree this time and asks worriedly instead, genuinely worried for their worsening relationship. 

"What you do now is go to plan B which, should've have been plan A in the first place." Samuel suggested with a matter-of-fact tone. 

"There was never a plan B. If you're talking about your 'alternative' then no, I'm not doing it--" "Fine. Suit yourself hyung". Samuel says, raising his hands as if surrendering. 

"But it's really tiring to see you being so oblivious about Jinyoung hyung. Also more than that, it's really uncomfortable to be watched okay. I mean we are being watched because we're in a show but I mean watched by Jinyoung hyung everytime we talk. Like look, he's looking at us right now." 

"He is? Where- oh." Jihoon asked looking around for the subject of their conversation and when he finally sees him, they meet eyes for a second before Jihoon quickly looks away. 

"Hyung, you really have to stop ignoring Jinyoung hyung. It hurts to be ignored you know. Trust me, I've been there." 

"How do you even know all these things?" Jihoon asks Samuel who was actually able to give legit advices despite being 3 years younger than him. 

"It doesn't take an Einstein to notice how you two are painfully obvious." Samuel answers "He looks, you look away. You look, he looks away. What game are you trying to play?" He continued. "oh uh, that's all I can say for now hyung. Do something before it's too late. You know what show we are in. I have to go now, bye."  He then said in a hurry after noticing Daehwi motioning for the two of them leave the leave them alone.

"Yeah whatever." Jihoon replies, his mind too occupied with what Samuel has been saying, to notice the fact that it is now just Jinyoung and him alone in the room. 

"Hey." Jinyoung approcahed and Jihoon visibly tensed. He didn't need to turn back to see the owner of the voice. It was so familiar despite how he rarely heard it in the past weeks. 

"Can I sit beside you?" He asked and Jihoon smiled at the familiar question. It was the very first thing Jinyoung ever said to him and hearing it again just made Jihoon want to talk to him more.

"You don't really have to ask." Jihoon said patting the space beside him just like the first time. Jinyoung muttered "so nostalgic" and Jihoon couldn't agree more. He wanted to look at him, smile at him, ruffle his hair maybe, just like he did before but he can't do those now because of his stupid decision to ignore him.

"It's been a while." Jinyoung said awkwardly and Jihoon couldn't help but chuckle this time. "What are you laughing at?" Jinyoung asked playfully actually knowing why his hyung is laughing-- it's because of him and this made him proud of himself. Even after all the weeks of them literally not interacting, he still managed to make Jihoon laugh. Their laughter died down and it was silent once again.

"I'm sorry." Jihoon said breaking the silence. Jinyoung looked at him confusedly at though Jihoon's not looking, he knows the guy is questioning him right now. Who even apologizes for no reason-- at least Jinyoung thinks there's no reason. 

"For distancing myself..for um, ignoring you." Jihoon finally finished, answering the silent question of Jinyoung. 

"Oh--" "I was jealous." Jihoon continued. Cutting off whatever Jinyoung was about to say. He decided that he would follow with his last resort which apparently is Samuel's plan (you can almost hear smugly say he was right all along).

"...Of Daehwi. I was jealous of Daehwi. You know why?" He said stopping for a bit. He would like to look at Jinyoung but it's nerve wrecking enough to confess, what more if he saw the reaction of the subject of said confession.

"I like you...more than friends, more than brothers." He finally said. He wanted to say more. How he felt horrible for feeling jealous of their innocent dongsaeng, how much he wanted to talk to him again but was afraid to be hurt somehow. There's just a lot to say that Jihoon can't say somehow. He felt like his voice was stuck in his throat. He wanted to say it and not say it at the same time and that's hella confusing.

It was silent again. By now, the two probably hated silence. It always happens when they're together.

"You...wanna know why I asked you weird questions?" "Can I hug you, can you carry me, can i bite you...it's really weird even for me." He stopped and inhaled slightly. "I wanted to get closer to you. Well originally I only wanted to get close to you....not develop some feelings I know I couldn't handle." Jihoon's eyes widened, realizing where the whole situation is going but he didn't want to expect. It would only hurt to expect so he let Jinyoung continue.

"Hyung..." 

"Yeah..."

"Can I kiss you?"

"..Yeah..of course you can."

-end-